Hey, Claudia!! <3
Omg, I love this opening chapter. I’m always here for next gen era stories, and stories about Albus because I love him! It’s so intriguing.
What I especially love about this opening is that it’s all calm and cute. Like the stars are twinkling and kids are playing and then it’s just EVIL DUDES APPEAR. And what are they doing!! D:
… Okay, I take back what I said. THEY KILLED ALL THOSE POOR CHILDREN. (But I mean, the chapter is good, but THEY KILLED ALL THOSE CHILDREN. WHY??? NOW I’M SAD. THEY DIDN’T DESERVE THAT!)
OOoo one of them speaks parseltongue. Not sure if that’s gonna be important for the future or not, but I’m gonna remember this. NO THEY WANT TO KILL ALBUS AND JAMES!! AND LILY TOO! Alright, so I’m getting the feeling that these two might be former death eater and/or the children of Death Eaters…. Hmm
OH WAIT, one of them still goes to Hogwarts?? And is named Zac. WHAT IS THIS. WHAT HAPPENING?
Okay, now that I’ve finished reading this chapter and have given my incoherent thoughts, I’ll sum them up for you. (And I’m totally sorry for how my thoughts have come out….) Alrighty, so I love this so far (as I’ve said). The set up is so good, like I want to know what’s happening!!! Also, I hate these guys already because they want to kill Harry and Ginny’s kids!!! Noooo! So, those are my incoherent thoughts, haha. I’ll definitely be back <3
Oh, why didn't you put Al in Hufflepuff? I would have loved it! #HousePride!
This was really close to Harry's experience and I'm enjoying it so far. I will admit that the flow could be made a bit better and that sometimes the dialogues feel a bit forced, but I do like what you are doing with the story and I'm curious to see what will happen when the plot evolves more...
I like Arthur, guess they'll become best friends? And the other boys seem nice, too. :)
And James stealing the Map... typical... I wonder if Albus will actually write to Harry about it or if it was just an empty menace...
Oh, btw... I think it was just hilarious how Albus fell off the stool (well, I also felt so bad for him, poor child) and I also really loved how Albus was so curious about Muggle pictures. One of the things I've always found so funny in the original series is how Ron seemed surprised about Muggle things that are just completely normal. I love this reversing of perspective. :P
Leaving you now. Nice job so far.
Oh, come on, are you really breaking the chapter here? I don't like cliffhangers, you know? :P
Poor little Al, so worried that he will be a Slytherin and that he won't be up to people's expectations... I bet being a son to the great Harry Potter is hard, especially for him who looks so much like him.
James is a little troublemaker, isn't he? Honestly, I can't believe Albus believed him when he said the Sorting Hat had been damaged and the would have to pass a test *rolls eyes* Bet it's quite hard to be James' little sibling, too... :P
Guess I'll go take a peek at Al's sorting, now... :P See you in a minute!
Here to celebrate Claudia's appreciation month! :P Congratulations again on making Hufflepuff of the Month, btw! :)
Okay, I have to say that your AP is full of very interesting looking things, but I had to stop by your main novel first... and I'm very happy I did!
This first chapter was so intriguing... I would have never imagined Voldemort having a mentor... who is he? And who is Zac? Is he someone we know? I want to know more!
It's so scary how they would just go and kill a bunch of children without a reason, but I guess that's what makes them dark wizards... I'm not quite sure I agree on this Do you need to vent? Go and kill someone. Interesting reasoning, but just a bit extreme, maybe? (Obviously, what I mean is that it's terrifying...)
And why do they want to kill Harry's children? Is it just a vengeance? Or is there a deeper reason? I guess I'll find out reading on.
Moving to chapter 2 now...
Lots of love,
That chapter title sounds quite dire and ominous.
Of course the great Harry Potter would know that James stole his Marauder’s Map! The first part of this chapter had me laughing a lot. It’s a lot of fun seeing Harry as a parent, though I’m not quite sure why Albus seems to think that Harry wouldn’t ever tell Ginny about James stealing the Marauder’s Map. She got into a significant amount of trouble at school as well, if I recall correctly (Dumbledore’s Army being the most memorable example I can think of).
I also think it’s very sweet of Harry to gift his son with the Invisibility Cloak.
So, first day of classes! That’s always a lot of fun. And I’m assuming that in this new friend group, Rose is equivalent to Hermione (except Rose seems to have a little bit of a stronger interest in Divination than her mother haha), and the other two are Ron. And this Professor Dire is the equivalent of Professor Snape.
This is exciting! I’m really curious to see what these children get up to in the future.
Hey Claudia! Here with another review for you for Claudia Appreciation Month!
This chapter is about them going to Diagon Alley and buying their supplies, and I have to admit, I was a little confused at first. Because last chapter, they were already at Hogwarts, having the feast, but now they’re still buying supplies? But then I realized that it was completely my fault, and I totally forgot that Albus was dreaming about this day. So ignore me, haha.
Reading through his memory of the day in Diagon Alley was a cute experience. His experiences mirror Harry’s so closely, and he’s going through all the same wonder and awe that Harry did (though perhaps a little less, since he’s so used to the magic). I liked how you included the additions to the magical world that Harry didn’t have in his time, like the pygmy puffs.
Also, I also like Godric as a name for an owl. It’s an excellent name.
HEY. THE SORTING HAT IS MOCKING HUFFLEPUFFS. HOW DARE YOU, HAT. I TRUSTED YOU. THE BETRAYAL.
Sorry for the all caps, I saw that one-liner (which has absolutely no effect on the story as a whole, I don’t know why I’m obsessing over it) after Albus fell off the stool and the Sorting Hat was all like, “You fell off the stool? Perhaps Hufflepuff would be a good place to put you” and was like GOTTA DEFEND MY HOUSE.
I do wish that Albus didn’t dislike the concept of Slytherin so much. He’s making life so much harder for himself, the poor boy. I’m not even remotely close to being a Slytherin, but their qualities have always fascinated me so, so much. Like imagine the brilliance that could’ve been if Jo hadn’t written herself into a hole by making all of the Slytherin characters evil in the first book. However, given the reputation of Slytherin in the books, I can definitely understand Albus’s point of view!
Also, how did this kid fall off the stool. I was feeling really sorry for him, but also laughing at him a little bit (just a little) because it’s such an uncommon occurrence.
This whole chapter was a lot of fun because it reminded me so much of reading about Harry’s first day of Hogwarts, and how magical and amazing that was. Getting to meet all those boys (hopefully more girls will come in the future, because I live for girls haha) was a lot of fun, as well.
I’m back for the second chapter! Prepare for a good number of reviews for Claudia Appreciation Month haha.
Okay, I have to admit to you, since I read your interview first, I’m assuming you’re going to put Albus in Gryffindor, though not before a lengthy struggle with the Sorting Hat. Though, my gut instinct is that he’s going to be put in Slytherin (especially considering the title of this story), so I’m still a little unsure. Anyway, I don’t know why I started this review talking about literally the last thing that happens. I do that a lot.
First-year train ride scenes are so nostalgic for me. I feel like it’s been such a long time since I’ve seen one, so I read through this quite happily haha. All of Albus’s concerns are valid, though I think the poor boy is too stressed out about what’s going to happen to him. After all, there are a lot of heroes in our world where we don’t expect anything from the children. However, I can completely understand why Albus thinks this way; the pressure must be so daunting.
James seems like such the typical older sibling, constantly taunting and teasing his little brother. Sometimes I just wanted to reach over and smack James, because he needs to get ahold of himself. When he lied to Albus about the Sorting Hat not being used this year?? HOW MEAN. If James were my older brother, I would probably not want to share a room with him (I remember the epilogue having that scene when James and Albus are practically begging to share a bedroom haha).
I like Rose a lot! Even though she didn’t talk much this chapter, I was super excited to see her. <3
I’m really wondering whether Albus will be friends with Scoripus in this story or not. Based on Albus’s first impression of Scorpius (“jerk” lmao) I don’t think they’re going to hit it off, but I wonder if there’ll be a friendship arc?? Hmmm.
Aw thanks! *blushes*
You will see what house Albus gets put into... *grins* It'll be fun to see. Yeah, I wasn't too subtle about where Albus ended up in my interview, was I? In fairness, the only spoiler I mentioned was only for the third chapter, so I didn't reveal too much.
James teases Albus a lot like Fred and George did to Ron- remember how Ron said that his brothers claimed that they were sorted based on a test that "hurt a lot"? James sort of does the same thing, but I'm sure he'll outgrow it. He's only 12.
I love Rose too! I'm glad you like her.
It's always interesting to see what next gen writers do with Scorpius. More often than not, Scorpius is Albus's best friend. I've also read stories where they are enemies. I guess you'll have to wait and see what I do!
Thanks so much for reviewing Eva! I love all the puff love. *hugs*
Hi Claudia! I’m here for Claudia Appreciation Month. <3
I love how you begin this story like it’s an actual book! I bet if I never ready Harry Potter and picked this story up and read the first chapter, I would still understand what was going on, and I’d feel intrigued to boot.
These two Dark wizards are so mysterious and interesting. I’m so curious to see if we know them as characters! I was sitting here trying to unscramble the name Lord Zajecfer (wow that’s a hard name to spell haha), but I couldn’t remember any characters whose names started with “Zac.” So it might be one of your OCs. Either way, the dynamic between the two of them is just really fascinating. Zac obviously has a decently-sized ego and wants to be the next Lord Voldemort (and apparently he grew up around the time Lord Voldemort was defeated the second time around), while the other wizard is more cautious. Which I think is a little bit scarier.
The way they just went and killed the Muggle children (with a mass-murder spell??? AHH) was so scary. Oh, the poor parents. The poor children. They’re so so heartless I have no idea how prejudiced people manage to convince themselves that what they’re doing is worth it.
And they’re trying to get rid of Albus Potter now?? Oh, no. I’m really excited to see how this story will continue, and how the plan of these two wizards will unfold. (I wonder if that list of plans will come in handy some day...)
Wonderful start! I’m looking forward to reading the next chapter soon. <3
Wow that is actually REALLY smart of you to try and unscramble Lord Zajecfer. But yeah, I don't remember any characters in the HP series named Zac either.
Yes, he did grow up when Voldemort was defeated for the final time and was only a kid then. He was very disappointed.
In my view, Zajecfer and the other wizard barely see muggles as human, or equal to them, so they definitely weren't thinking about those poor parents. It was just like stepping on a beetle. But yes, it is awful.
Poor Albus. Being targeted by two dark wizards probably won't spell out a peaceful year. :)
Thank you so so much for reviewing!!!!!!
Hello! Happy Valentine's Month! I'm here to sprinkle a little love onto your story!
This was a really good beginning to a story. It introduces us to what I assume will be the main conflict here - these two wizards' attempt to murder Albus. It also raises so many questions that I really want to know the answer to. Like who are these two wizards? One of them seems to be a parseltongue too, which I found really interesting. I'm just really curious about who they are, so I might have to come back at some point to find out. And also where are they? Obviously somewhere in Hogsmeade, but where exactly? Yeah, I really liked this beginning. It was really intriguing and it made me want to read more.
I also thought you did a really good job of painting a very dark and chilling scene. I could imagine them walking through the street, killing those poor defenceless children. They're definitely at Voldemort's level of cruelty, just killing people because they annoy them. I think that says a lot about them as characters too. It does have me worried for poor Albus though, but hopefully he can find some sort of way to escape them.
Again, I loved it! Great job!
Be My Badger
Thanks so much for reviewing!!! <3
I really like all your questions. The identity of the two wizards are central questions, and I liked how you picked up on the parseltongue thing. Very curious.
Yeah, those two wizards aren't exactly nice people, are they? Killing children. Kind of gets the "they're evil" point across.
I'm glad you liked the beginning! And again, thank you for reviewing!
Hi, I came back! :D I've been itching to drop one more review, 'cause I've already read this chapter on last Thursday.
Albus is really innocent and self-effacing, I feel that while reading the Quiddich tryouts results scene, I thought he would be disappointed to know Olivia took the position. Anyway, it's great he seems to be simply happy to get on the team as a reserve player. And Roxy and James will be together! They will surely encourage Albus at coming games. (Yeah, I guess you prepare for him to play in the game, which means someone, a regular member will get injury or be sick.:p )
I like the captain's name, Christopher Van Malden, which let me remember Eddie Van Halen. Is that Hollander? Sounds nice!
David and Art will take roles of Neville and Ron for Albus, I guess. I feel their friendship has been developed as chapters go. Among them, Rose always has deep insight like her mother. Especially when she faced Albus who witnessed the horrible conspiracy in front of Headmaster's office. Albus was likely to think to himself seriously that he had to deal with the problem by himself without help from adults.
I hope not it will be too late when he finds his thought is wrong and reckless.
Keep in mind that hardly anyone makes the team in their first year- Harry was the youngest seeker in a century. So Albus is actually very impressive, having become a reserve player, and if I were him I would not be disappointed at all. Him making the team as a reserve player is quite impressive.
I'm very into family genealogy, and so a lot of the last names for my OCs are names I just pulled randomly off my own family tree. Van Malden is the last name of my great-grandfather. I either take names from my family tree or I just take them from random people I meet in my life who have good names.
Yes, David and Art will definitely get more developed as the chapters go, and David especially gets more developed in book 2 (which is not on this site yet but is on HPFF).
Rose does have good insight, and Albus probably should listen to her. Unfortunately, if Harry swooped in and saved the day in two chapters it wouldn't make for a very interesting story, would it? :P
Thanks for reviewing Patrick! I've really enjoyed all your reviews (and your goregous signature!) and I can't wait to have your HPFT identity revealed.
I always smile at the scenes how Hagrid cares Hogwarts kids. It's great to see he is always a guardin for them.
Ah, Madam Hooch. I remember the film, the first HP movie, Flying Lesson. Though there is no rival against Albus, such as Draco Malfoy for Harry, you set Albus Potter's inner emotional struggle very well. His desire is to be a man his dad will be proud of, which will be his eternal goal at Hogwarts. It's very stressful sometimes, but I guess he can get over the hurdle eventually.
I am getting to like your narrative description from Albus's POV (third person's). He is very modest and not confident around himself but his ambition is surely there, I feel his burning desire to be brave and accomplish something big like his father. It's partly Slythrin's trait and at the same time Gryffindor's.
I wish he will do something great not only for his family fame but also for himself. :)
I'll be back again.
Hagrid will always care for the Hogwarts kids. He is an integral part of the school and I honestly cannot imagine Hogwarts without him.
Yeah, poor Albus will always try to meet the expectations that he feels are set for him because of his family name. Luckily for him, he isn't a bad flier, and I'm sure his dad will be proud of him. He does have a bit of ambition; you're right; which is partly why the hat wanted to put him in Slytherin.
Thanks for all the reviews! I really appreciate them, Patrick.
I knew it, Albust would get Invisibility Cloak! It would be Albus to get it, if Harry were to give it, not James, to Albus. I am happy to see James seems to be satisfied with the map, too. It's quite interesting Harry could guess James had pocketed the map from the drawer before leaving. And he could imagine how Albus would react for his owl letter. A good plot! It's great to see the famous magical artifact passed from a father to a son.
Agh, Peeves! I like the scene one of Al's pals used twins's product to escape from Peeves.
Rose acts in the class just like her mother and Al doesn't like it. The other lesson scenes are also well written. Neville was kind to them even when they were late for his class. I like such a professor. :) On the contrary, Professor Dire is not soft to his students at all. He is an antagonist, isn't he? Like professor Snape and Harry. Or I guess it's Dire who has a relationship with those dark wizards, right?
I know, I'm glad Albus got the invisibility cloak too! It is honestly one of the coolest artifacts and coolest Hallows. I agree with Hermione in that it is the best out of the three Deathly Hallows. I wish I had one.
Al's friend (David) who escaped from Peeves does have his clever moments.
Since Neville struggled in school, I can see him being a very laid-back professor. Dire... not so much. Whether or not Dire has a relationship with those dark wizards is up to you to theorize.
Thank you so much for reviewing!
You spared much space for Albus Potter's sorting scene, it is good, 'cause we can feel how much he had worried about the possibility to be sorted into Slytherin. When he fell on the floor while praying for being sorted to Gryffindor, which made James impressed by his brother's clumsy action, I enjoyed very much.
At the same time, I suspect one of his dorm mates might be a relative of the dark wizards you introduced in the previous chapter... am I wrong? I hope I am wrong.
Rose is likely Ravendor like her mother, Hermione. I'd like to see Ron's trait in her later as well.
Oh, no, James, you are a naughty boy, you nicked the map? I like you added the episode, Harry edited the map adding Chamber of Secret. Oh, I feel like the incident will happen from there again...
You think one of his dorm mates is related to one of the dark wizards in the first chapter? Which dorm mate? I'm very curious to see how you concluded this.
Rose is very much a Ravendor. She mostly takes after her mother. But later on, especially later in the series, she will start to have clear visible differences. But she does have some of Ron's traits as well, they just aren't as visible.
Harry knows where the Chamber of Secrets is, so I can very much see him adding it on later in life. Unfortunately, the Room of Requirement is still unplottable. And yes, James is very naughty.
Thanks for reviewing!
Moyer sounds cool. Then, professor Fuchs, I wonder how to pronounce the name. I imagine how you enjoyed writing the process, trip to Hogwarts castle via Hogwarts Express and a boat with Hagrid. Each scene is well written. As James said, we know how it is like very much, we recognize how the first years feel excited and worry about their new life there from Albus Potter's POV.
All he worried at that time was being sorted there since he departed from the platform, from his father. You focused on the point, it is good, 'cause it's really likely children at the age think of.
Rose seems to have been his good consultant. I wonder who will be his best friend, I mean who will join as a member of the new golden trio. Or not? Or more members as his team? I'm curious!
Professor Fuchs rhymes with the word "puke" (with an s on the end). It rhyming with puke is completely unintentional, it was simply the best way to explain its pronunciation to you.
I wrote most of this story about three to five years ago, so it's been a while, but I do remember enjoying writing these scenes very much. If I didn't enjoy it, I wouldn't be writing it, now would I?
Well, I guess you will have to wait and find out to see who becomes a part of his group of friends! The story summary kind of spoils it though... oops.
Glad you're enjoying it! Thanks for everything!
Hey! I came back. I read chapter 2 and 3, they are fantastic. I'll come back and drop reviews there as well. Then I read this chapter to make sure that visiting Ollivander's
might be before 'Feast'. And the word, 'customers' is a typo (costumers) while transferring it, maybe?
So I'd like to say I like Harry is with Albus to get his first owl and wand. The most intriguing thing is he got an elder wand. I remember one of Deathly Hallows is the Elder Wand! And its magical core is Phoenix Feather, which gives us lots of imaginations!
I think Harry was almost going to say Florean Fortescue was killed by Death Eaters. Of course, he was wise enough not to tell that to his children. I'm afraid more horrible things are waiting for Potter children later. I wonder how peperoni pizza tastes like. I want to eat it, too. :) maybe very spicy.
Wow, a cart ride reminds me of the scene underground in the film. Yeah, right, riding trip to Potter's vault must be like riding on a roller coaster!
And I can guess Potter's vault had got much more money after Harry beat Lestrange or the other pure-blood Death Eaters. however, Potter children don't show off their wealth, that is good, Harry and Ginny must have brought them up nicely.
You were right in that costumers was a typo, and it's in the original as well. Thanks for catching it! You have a sharp eye.
Yes, the one in the Deathly Hallows is the Elder Wand, but elder wood is used for other wands as well. Other wands made of elder exist. But it is still a cool connection.
I don't imagine Harry would want to tell his children about Florean Fortescue's death. Not a pleasant topic for a fun outing.
I imagine the pepperoni flavor would be a bit spicy, and unlike James, I wouldn't like it. I'm not a fan of pepperoni.
Harry and Ginny, both coming from poorer backgrounds, knew enough to not spoil their kids (too much). So while they are wealthy, they try not to show it.
Thanks for reviewing Patrick! I really appreciate it.
Hello there! I'm psyched to know you write mystery and Dark Magic. A new Dark Lord! Sounds exciting. I really like how you set the villains. Mysterious murder, old revenge and new secret weapons. Massive murders sound awful. I feel sorry for Muggle parents and children who became the targets. And you set Albus Potter as the next target. This story is very promising. He has worried to be sorted into Slytherin and you have prepared horrible situations around them. It is very intriguing. I guess he has to face hardship, wondering who he is, his identity like his father, Harry has experienced. I'm eager to know who the old wizard is. He seems to have grudge for the past when he wanted to teach at Hogwarts.
Hello Patrick, my mysterious secret cupid! Thanks for the review!
Yes, massive murders are quite awful. I feel bad for the muggle families as well, especially since they don't know what killed them.
Of course Albus has to face hardship! There wouldn't be much of a story if he didn't.
Glad you're enjoying it!
Happy Hot Seat Day continued. :D
I can understand Art's dislike of Exploding Snap. I mean it sounds all fun in the books but when you think about it, it's like, an explosion happening right in front of your FACE.
Poor Albus feeling humiliated in class. All I can say is it's a good thing he never had to learn from Professor Snape (his namesake. Ahaha) But I'm with Rose on this. Professor Dire is mean, but I don't think he's EVIL in the sense of BWAHAHAHA DARK MAGIC. (yes that's a type. I'd be a scary Dark Wizard eh?)
Hehehe, I love the way you've written the house rivalry in here. Slytherins don't want Gryffindor to win so they're supporting Hufflepuff! Yeah! :D
Aw. Poor James. Public embarrassment. No pressure right? :p But I guess he does that enough to his brother/the rest of his family. That song sounds like just the type that Peeves would appreciate and I wouldn't be surprised to see ol' Peevesie singing it in subsequent chapters :p
It always confused me when they let Gryffindors be the commentator for matches in which Gryffindor is playing. I mean, Lee Jordan was an awesome commentator, but he was in no way objective. ahaha. Fred and Louis are much the same about their Gryffie bias! It's quite funny to read. :D
Yay for James' first goal!
Hufflepuff was too good -- Darn right they are! XD I know, I should feel bad for Albus that his team lost, but what can I do. You understand, though, being a fellow Puff. :p Anyway, I do like that Gryffindor isn't shown as winning all the time and the Puffs get some glory!
Glad you're enjoying the story!
I specifically wrote the scene about Hufflepuff winning because I'm a Hufflepuff. Even if Albus is in Gryffindor, I got to show some house pride, right?
Seriously, thanks for transferring all these reviews from HPFF. I really appreciate it.
*Transferred from HPFF*
Happy Review Hot Seat Day!!
Rose is getting just a touch overbearing, isn't she! I mean, stalking him at all times to make sure he's not alone. It's kind of her to look out for him, but I can understand why Albus is annoyed, hahaha.
“Who are you?” the leader of the group sneered -- For being a bully, this person is pretty thick. I mean, it'd take a decade of living under a rock to not know who Harry Potter's son is. Ahaha.
Woo! Roxanne is definitely a good person to have on your side! :P
Oh no, if the post is being watched then Albus can't tell his dad! He should have done it earlier! Gah! Well, now I guess he has a reason to stick his nose into things that are far bigger than an eleven-year-old should have to deal with. Or, he could devise a method of sending a letter without Filch reading it. I'm sure there are ways to do that. Send it via Thestral? :p
Awesome chapter! REading the next right away!
Thanks for transferring the review!
You raise a lot of good points. Rosier not knowing who Albus is is kind of silly, and Albus really ought to have figured out another way of contacting his dad. Oh well.
Glad you enjoyed it!
David's humour is so great, hahaha Professor Dire defeating an opposing Seeker just by glaring at him :P I'm glad Albus made the reserve team though! I think it's realistic that he wouldn't have made an actual position on the team, being only eleven and competing against kids who were a few years older. Still, it says a lot for him that he made it as reserve! Good for him :)
Ooh, I remember Lord Zajecfer from the beginning - sounds like he's up to nothing good. He's got some power now and isn't afraid to jump right in there with his plan of whatever he's doing, and it worries me that he wants to do whatever he's doing at Hogwarts. Scary! Btw, I tried to unscramble his name again and came up with nothing. :p
Rose is a smart one! Albus should listen to her. After all, it's not like this time they have Dumbledore on their side watching over to make sure they're safe as they poke their noses into things - they would be smart to involve adults. Yes, they've got no proof, but I think someone might listen given how scary the idea is!
Great chapter! I love the way you're building up this story!
David does have wonderful humor. It's one of his leading qualities.
I'm proud of Albus as well. He's pretty good at Quidditch.
Oh, you're trying to unscramble his name! Smart! His name does mean something to him, but unless you know who he is you won't get it.
Rose is smart. She always knows best, and Albus really ought to listen to her. But it wouldn't be nearly as exciting if they went to adults for help, would it? :)
Thanks for the review!
More transfers ;)
Aw! I love that they're having tea with Hagrid :D
Wow, Fang is a super ancient dog at this point.
I love the friendship you've established between the four so far - they get on really well, and seem like a good mix of traits to balance each other out as well.
Al's desire to be good at Quidditch is really understandable given the pressures from his parents' successes in it. Likewise I really understand his desire to not be the same as them, to be his own person and not just famous for his father's fame. I think that's a very natural feeling the Potter kids would have.
Oh my goodness, how dare you leave the end of the chapter there ;) Did he get on? Aah! :p
Thanks for transfering the review, and glad you're enjoying it!
It's really exciting to come back to this story as I read some of it ages ago and loved it!
Haha! I loved Harry's letter, the "I sooo know you stole my map, but it's okay" :p And yay for getting the Invisibility Cloak! I guess Harry is perfectly aware that his kids are going to break all sorts of rules, so this will make it at least so they don't get in trouble as much for it :P
Poor Art, he really is having the toughest time adjusting! All the weird plants and the ghosts and Peeves (whom I was super excited to see in here haha).. it's cool because you're reminding the reader of all the magic in the wizarding world, kind of like how Harry first saw everything in the first book.
What a twist on things. A cheerful Potions Teacher, I can't even imagine what the class would be like. It just seems like such an alien idea. XD And a cold, calculating Tranfig professor, he's going to be one to watch out for. I wonder if the students will learn to just raise their hands when they don't know the answer, to avoid being called on? Kind of like reverse psychology.
Ooh, is Rose interested in Divination? I bet her mum would be thrilled. :p
Glad to see you've come back, and thanks for transferring your other reviews!
Harry knows his kids are going to break rules, because they're Potters, so his mindset is "Well, let me at least make it so they don't get caught". Harry doesn't really have the right to discipline them when he broke rules are the time. And he doesn't even have the "I was fighting Voldemort" excuse for a lot of them- for example, crashing a flying car into the Whomping Willow might have gotten him expelled if he hadn't been Harry Potter. And that crash was not helping anybody.
Art's obviously not adjusting perfectly, but that's because everything is so new to him. He'll figure it all out soon enough.
I know, cheerful Potions teacher! Such a difference from Snape. And I love your idea of students raising their hands when they don't want to be called on, beacuse Professor Dire is 100% based on a math teacher I had when I was 11, and that's what I did! Sometimes I would raise my hand so I wouldn't be called on. Obviously, when I was 11 I didn't know it was called reverse psychology, but it worked! When I had my hand up the teacher didn't call on me.
Haha, yeah Rose is interested in Divination, and I bet her mum doesn't like that too much. I think Hermione would be okay with it, because she doesn't want to hinder her daughter, but if Rose is talking about how amazing Divination is at the dinner table Hermione would not like that much.
Thanks for coming back to the story, and thanks for reviewing!
Loved this chapter! It was nice to see how close the family is, what a great family outing, despite James being impatient and Lily whiny :p The part with Lily and the chocolate chips was really cute. I can only imagine the mess that resulted from that. My friend spilled chocolate chips on herself once and they melted all over her clothes, so I'm just giggling at the thought of Lily putting chocolate chips in her pocket! :p
I also enjoyed the fact that Ollivander's son owns the shop now - and that he doesn't have the good memory his father had. That's a nice touch.
An elder wand? That's probably going to be very important later. Considering that Harry has probably passed down the invisibility cloak to his sons, Albus is in possession of an elder wand and an invisibility cloak- 2 of 3 hallows. Interesting... maybe a red herring but interesting all the same.
Albus's interjection into the adults "boring" conversation made me laugh too, kids are so like that! You write the young Albus, James, and Lily very true to their ages.
This was a fun chapter! Great work :)
Thanks for transferring the review over! Glad you enjoyed it!
Aw, Albus fell off the stool? Poor thing, that's got to be the most embarrassing sorting moment. At least he's not entirely following his father's footsteps, that's what he wanted right? ;)
Hey! Uncalled for, Sorting Hat - no need to be calling Hufflepuffs clumsy idiots :p (Actually, I shouldn't be talking, because I am clumsy. Perhaps the hat is right. Tonks was a Hufflepuff too and she's clumsy. I sense a pattern. Anyway, I'm getting off track here.)
Haha, I love how even Art, a Muggle-born, knows about Harry Potter. Albus can't escape the stares even from people who didn't grow up in the wizarding world!
I like how you've written Rose. In the previous chapter I saw a lot of Hermione's personality in her what with finding all sorts of information in books, and here are elements of Ron as well (when she tactlessly asks Nearly Headless Nick if he is nearly headless - much like Ron did at first, I think.) So basically I like that she isn't a Hermione-clone, you've done well writing a girl that's influenced by both of her parents.
The Weasley twins' punching telescope makes a reappearance - love it.
James cracks me up - he seems to just appear out of nowhere when Albus least expects it. (I foresee this being a problem in about five years or so if Albus eventually dates anyone, haha) he stole the Marauders' Map! Oh, I love that Harry edited it. I hadn't really considered that he would do that, but I suppose after half the castle fell down in the battle of Hogwarts, some things probably got put back together differently and Harry needed to note the remodel. Though if he's keeping it updated, he's kind of just asking for one of his sons to steal it ;)
Great chapter! I am really enjoying this story but right now its late and I have to go to sleep. I will be back soon to read more! :)
Thanks for transferring the review! I really appreciate it.
Ok, one thing I have noticed so far that is really awesome: you have the same format of opening your story as JK does (at least GoF- on.). The chapter about mysterious things elsewhere to start off, and then beginning with the second one, a focus on the main character, and you remind the reader things like that there are four houses, Albus is a wizard... I really like that. Yes they are things we all know as readers of HP fanfiction, but it's like a little nod to the books and I definitely appreciate that.
I love the details of characterisation in here, like the fact that Albus doesn't like new foods. It's very realistic for an eleven year old! James is perfect as the annoying, older brother.. "see you in a million years. Your underpants are showing." He acts a little like my cousin was at that age :p so, I found him realistic as well!
Props to you for putting in a Sorting Hat song. It's easy to just brush over it and not include one, but I'm always impressed when people are willing to try their hand at poetry and add a song. Nice job :)
Ooh, you cut that off in a very sneaky place! Without any further ado, I'm going to find out what house Albus is in...
Once again, thanks for transferring the review! Glad you're enjoying it.