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Hi Pix! Here for #4 for our swap, and I’ve been so eager to see how you wrap this up.
Ahhh they pulled the old Crouch family Polyjuice Azkaban switcheroo!
Greyback has basically achieved a comic book villain level here with his scheme and his villainous monologue, and I was perfectly entertained by this brawl scene and how all the pieces came together, and Tonks and Bill working together even while Bill fought against the ring’s magic.
I especially enjoyed the end of section 11, the exchange between Tonks and Williamson about having lost her wand again and how she cracked a rib. There is a very engaging bluntness and realism about your characters and their reactions to things.
In the end, it seems that the soul marks appeared in order to help both of them get justice, tied together as they already were long before that by having been wronged (directly or indirectly) by the same person. And it was these few days’ worth of events that actually made them into soulmate material in the sense we usually think of it, romantically. I am absolutely thrilled with the note you ended it on, pointing out that they kept walking together because they didn’t want to part, and both of them seemed to realize that, and all you had to do was hint at the beginning of something more, leaving us to work it out for ourselves and hope the best for them. Ending with a beginning is always fantastic, and your last line is sweet and perfectly in theme.
I enjoyed this so much! I hope we can do more swaps!
Melanie
Author's Response:Melanie!
Okay, so I can't be all that original all the time. The polyjuice solution was RIGHT THERE. So I picked it up off the floor and threw it around. Also, it was great fun. I don't know why I love caricatured villains so much. Maybe it's because I love superhero movies and it's engrained into my psyche. Glad you were entertained! That was kind of the point. :)
Yeah, that's basically what I was going for. Maybe the soulmark thing was a beginning thing for an inevitable future. Also, the symmetry with the coffee was irresistable!
Thanks so much for these reviews! It's always a blast going back and reading them! You always make me feel like I wrote something special!
Pix
Hey Pix! Here for #3 of our swap!
I very much loved the appearance of Hermione in this, and her reaction -- what we saw of it through Bill’s POV, through glass -- was just as I would have expected it to be. Even though we couldn’t be right there with Tonks and Hermione through the interaction, it was a great scene to “watch.” It has to have been unbearable for the poor Weasley family. Tonks is very clever with how she handled Hermione and gained her secrecy, and it makes perfect sense to me that Hermione would be mollified -- even if it’s not the result she really wanted -- by being given something to do, the ability to look into Bill’s case.
This whole thing about the transformations happening outside the full moon is getting so juicy and intriguing!
We’re starting to see a great reason -- maybe THE reason? -- these two were brought together by the soul marks, and it appears to be to help one another find closure, in the way that nobody else really could do for them, because of Tonks’ history with Remus putting her in a unique position to understand Bill. I really loved the description of Tonks and Remus’s relationship.
And I’m so happy Bill has been exonerated (also, wand residue as wizarding forensics? -- brilliant!) and that they’re going to investigate who really killed Fleur.
The life you breathed into Bill’s memories of Shell Cottage under Fleur’s influence is beautiful -- from the visuals, to the fact that Fleur never minded a bit of sand. But of course I would expect it be unbearably painful for Bill.
Greyback! Security glitch, indeed. What a twist! I’m so eager to see how this all concludes.
Melanie
Author's Response:Hello Melanie!
Oh, good! My beta HATED the appearance of Hermione for some reason. I don't know exactly why, but she didn't like the interference? Dunno. I kept it, for the exact reason you stated, that it gives us a glimpse into what Bill's family has been going through since his disappearance. For a fanfic, I can't just leave out the people we obviously know about. They play into the big picture just as importantly. Tonks knows her way around the Ministry, and she is also the perfect person to understand Bill's situation. I figured, she, of all people would have figured out a way to send Hermione on her way and do something 'useful' at the same time.
I really loved writing the Shell Cottage scene... with the exception of tearing Bill apart, of course. I got one scene to show what his life was like, and his memories are so tender, as well as painful.
Oh, and twist! I really enjoyed playing 'what if' with the partial transformation and 'what if' werewolves had the ability to transform at will, and what would that look like, and why would they ever want to???
Also, it makes for a really great bad guy.
Pix
Hey Pix! Here for #2 of our swap!
Ah, I’m loving this whole first exchange between Tonks and Williamson. Williamson just feels so real, and that relationship is so complex and real in such a short span of time. Her resentment at being given the lion’s share of the work because she’s his junior, but also understanding that he’s giving her a lot of latitude considering her circumstances and being late, and understanding that he cares about her. This scene evinces the kind of mutual respect two colleagues can have for one another -- especially in a field like this (Aurors basically being elite cops) -- while at the same time just getting on each other’s damn nerves because of the amount of time spent together and the shared stresses.
The idea of a soul mark appearing, and learning you have a soulmate your life literally depends on, right after you’ve lost the person you consciously loved and chose is… off putting to say the least, and it adds a whole other layer to what Tonks is dealing with here.
She allowed the monotony of the parchment singing to lull her into a mindless daze, and soon enough, the stack had dwindled to a few remaining files, and her head was clear again.
“Thank Merlin for Closed Case Thursdays!”
^My gosh, yes. I relate to that so much, a huge stack of closed cases that need final disposition reports, and you really don’t want to do it, but you know it will feel amazing once they’re done.
I really enjoyed this scene with the Curse-Breakers battling the box while this security goblin takes his sweet time checking Bill’s credentials -- why is it that whenever you’re running late you always end up dealing with the security person or clerk who likes to take five times as long to do something? -- and the magical details you’ve come up with like a silver hex-canceling cloth and the Copy-Me spell.
I really love the support Bill has in his team, who have gone above and beyond to help him in just about every way imaginable, and knowing that about them makes it pretty clear what state they must have been in when they found Bill have overdosed the prior year, even though the reference to that incident is brief.
I love your writing stye, which always strikes me as very down to earth but still so expressive, and lines like -- He looked lost, but also looked like ‘not her problem’ -- evince a certain appealing, no-nonsense curtness in Tonks’ demeanor. (I also liked “inky salute” earlier.)
I really am so impressed by the amount of imagination and thought you’ve clearly put into the source of the soul marks, when they each appeared, etc; as we continue to get more information as the reader, it’s all coming together so well and is incredibly engaging. And this is really a great take on the general you’re-stuck-with-each-other-so-deal-with-it trope.
Looking forward to reading on!
Melanie
Author's Response:Melanie!
These are such wonderful reviews to look back on and re-read! Yes, Tonks and Williamson have a great working relationship. Her supervisor obviously knows everything she went through, from the sudden almost-dying-for-no-reason, which happened during working hours, to the you've-got-an-anonymous-person-attached-to-your-life revelation. He tries to give her latitude where he can, but also, there's work to be done. I'm glad all that came through in the narrative!
Yes, that goblin is "that guy". Everyone knows one of those, yeah? And I live for those little magical details. Someone said to me once, "Hey, you can't just have a story about magical creatures/stuff/etc and that's it. There has to be something more." I know this, but also, that's always where my brain starts, and I love building the story around those things. Is it backwards? I don't know. But it's why I do the things I do.
Bill's team is aces! They are there for him in a way no one else can be. They understand exactly what he went through and the guilt he has, and just te helplessness of his situation. And boy, does he need a whole team to keep him together!
Haha! I love the description "down to earth but still expressive". It's a work in progress.
And yay! It's another inevitable trope! I think the "you're stuck with each other so deal with it" trope is one of my favorites.
Thanks for another fantastic review!
Pix
Hi Pix! Here for #1 of our review swap!
I’m so intrigued after this chapter -- well, have been intrigued the whole time. You have this talent for structuring a story to trickle in information just when the reader is eager for it. Excellent showing vs telling, and I’ve noticed it with your other work, too. When the soul mark was first discussed, there was a lot I wasn’t understanding about it, but I quickly realized I wasn’t meant to at that moment and that everything would be revealed to me as I read. Every time I feel I have a question, I learn that the answer comes from reading a little further, and it’s very engaging.
I haven’t read a lot of soulmate/soulmark trope, and only recently learned that it is A Big Thing in fanfic, and the way you’re writing it feels very natural, if that makes sense. But I also like that you’re maybe subverting the trope a little by making the soul mark something that is a bit of a nuisance (because, you know, dying when you don’t want to because you’re connected to a stranger is a bit of a nuisance) and that’s the reason Tonks searches for him -- not for love, but self-preservation.
I like the origin of the soul mark (what I understand at this point to be the origin, the rune box) and how it came shortly after they had each suffered a loss. It also seemed to me that, while Tonks nearly died because Bill was trying to kill himself -- and then she didn’t because something held him back from going through with it -- that was a catalyst for her realizing that she did, in fact value her life and want to live, and maybe that realization by her was the thing that actually held Bill back. If that is the case, I really like the mutual influence they were exerting on one another at that point without even knowing it.
Going into this, from the story shell and list of characters I had a suspicion that this guy was Bill, but had I not seen that, I think the build-up and misdirection as to his identity and the reveal was very good. I especially like the dual meaning of “My name is Marcus, I am not who I was” -- the first time he thinks it, it seems that as a werewolf he’s thinking he is not the man he was, but when it resurfaces at the end of course it also means his former identity. I noticed at one point before he formally introduces himself as Bill, in the narrative right after Tonks has said she wants to know more about him, it reads, “Bill had no idea where to start.” I didn’t know whether using the name Bill was intentional there, since the introduction at the end reads like that’s supposed to be the big reveal to the reader -- but on the other hand, it occurred to me that maybe you slipped his name in earlier either because you wanted the reader to know, or almost to see if the reader would catch it. In either event, I don’t think it’s bad; I just thought I would point it out in case it was not intentional!
I’m really looking forward to reading on and finding out more about AU Tonks and AU Bill.
Melanie
Author's Response:Hi Melanie!
You probably will never see this, but I'm finally (after years, haha) responding to these fantastic reviews! It's fun to look back on old stories and see what I was up to and how people reacted to them.
When I wrote this, I had never read a soulmate fic, like, ever. So i had no idea what the expectations were of the trope. I just did whatever the heck I wanted, which was, of course, to subvert it a bit. Lol! Why do I do these things? I have no idea. Something something hate being predictable something something.
So, yeah, that was the intention of the soulmark, to give them something else to live for after their awful experiences. There was so much guilt (unfounded even) on both sides, and that constant looking back and wondering what if wears a person down, ya know? Also, I wondered what it would be like, with the rune box, to encounter people who needed to need someone, and give them that... thing... that they needed... anyway. The prompt was that connection with the mark on the wrist, and if one of them died, they both would. I stared at that for a long hard while and couldn't figure out anything fluffy about it. Glad it's working for you!
That name slip was actually a slip, but I sort of liked it after I noticed it, so I decided not to edit. Ha. Maybe I did subconsciously do it on purpose. I like readers who pay attention. :)
Thanks so much for this wonderful review!
Pix
Tonk really needs to think before she talks (and look before she walks although she doesn’t seem as klutzy in this story.) I like her boss, a bit rough and gruff, but very street smart who puts the pieces together and would, I bet, do anything for his little junior auror including dragging Bill to the Ministry.
The mini-scene with the cursed box was funny and the goblin was spot on. Don’t ever act like you have more important things to do than a goblin. He will make sure you everything on his time. I don’t blame Tonks for being frustrated about the permanence of the curse. She is still definitely grieving for Remus and this is thrown on them. (Plus, in my opinion, in the event of Remus Lupin versus Bill Weasley, Remus would always be top dog. . . ere werewolf.
The fight scene was a bit brief, but then you threw us another cliffhanger ending which kept me intrigued. Goyle, Senior, dead twice. I think it’s about to become even more interesting.
Author's Response:Yeah, Tonks has had some time to get her clumsiness under control. I like the idea of her boss too, and you describe him exactly the way I see him too. LOL! Goblins are serious business, yeah? You'll have to forgive me for the weird ideas. Up until this challenge, I had never read a soulmate AU, so I didn't know how they worked. I liked the idea of people getting the marks who were NOT at all happy about getting them, and so the frustration about the permanence was key to this story. It's a lot for a grieving spouse to take in. I figured that'd keep things complicated.
I really hope you stick around for the second half of the story. Thanks so much for stopping by and giving me your thoughts!!
Pix
I had seen this story around. It is one of my “I need to get around to that” story, so I’m finally here and the story does not disappoint. I felt so sorry for Tonks. So soon after her husband’s death, she finds out she has a soul mate and although we aren’t sure how she handled it then, she’s obviously handling the news very well now. She’s the spunky Tonks we all love, the girl who knows how to go after and get her man. (Well, in this case, her soulmate.)
And then Marcus. I can’t believe I didn’t make the connection. Half-werewolf, curse-breaker. The hints were all there yet I was still sitting here with my jaw dropped as I read the last sentence of the chapter. (Of course, if I had read the story shell before starting the story, maybe I would have had a clue.) Anyway, great story. I will enjoy reading the rest of it.
Author's Response:Hello!
I am so glad you got around to reading this and it lived up to your expectations. I had some really interesting prompts to piece together, and this was the result. It was incredibly fun to write. Oh, I'm happy the reveal surprised you! I wasn't sure I was making it too obvious, but in his head, he's trying really hard to be someone else, and finally he realizes that he's just going to have to admit to who he really is. I was hoping it'd be a cool reveal, but I tried to keep everything in "Marcus's" head as much as possible, to make it a character struggle.
I hope you do get to read the rest of this and tell me what you think along the way.
Thanks so much for the review!
Pix
Well done, Pix!!
The original ideas in this story are just fantastic!! Greyback's herbal concoction and suggestive magic ring; the hex cancelling bag...brilliant!
The plot twists were surprising and delicious, too. I especially liked Greyback as an old lady. It reminded me of Barty Crouch Jr. and how he escaped Azkaban...again, brilliant.
And the ending...the possibility of hope and love for two battered and bruised souls. Bravo, Pix!!
Kev
Author's Response:Thanks, Kevin! I'm glad you enjoyed my crazy story. I am having a great time reading yours, and hope to get to reviewing it this fall.
I loved Greyback as an old lady too. Haha!
Pix
Hi, Pixi. I came back to your story again. I am amazed by your excellent work. As I know you are a very busy person, I wonder how you managed to make up such a creative story.
I remember now many lions chose your Fenrir Greyback as the best villain for PoG 2018. I finally get it in. Readers can’t stop hating him. It was Fenrir who plotted all evil acts which had given Bill much pain. In the last chapter, his malice reached to full power and readers can’t stop reading to the end. Yeah, we know the Polyjuice potion, which we HP fans know very well, but I didn’t expect such a thrilling climax at the end. You are genius, Pixi! I held my breath at each scene, such as their mission to Azkaban and facing Greyback at Erised Coffee. I wished for Tonks and Bill good luck when her wrist grew brighter. Wa…Greyback ate her wand. So scary.
Your theme, “A Morning Newspaper and Coffee” was so tactfully used from the beginning to the last scene. Comforting after so many twists and turns. I’d like to say you are the Queen of Action and Crime / Mystery genres.
I’ll announce the winners soon after checking the other works. Please wait for a while.
K
Author's Response:Kenny!
Greyback was the perfect character to bring this fic together. At first, I wasn't sure if I needed a villain, but then since it was for an Auror's Challenge, of course I needed someone for the Aurors to chase around. I had fun being creative with the lengths he went to make his master plan work.
I loved the part where Greyback ate the wand. I wanted that scene to be Tonks fighting without her wand, and I had to figure out why she wouldn't have it, and give her a reason for not being able to get it back. Eating the wand was a simple solution to that, and allowed Tonks and Bill to figure other ways of winning the fight by working together and showing off their strengths.
Ah, that's why I begged Kevin to switch prompts with me! I had already written the first chapter to this when I asked for a prompt from you, and it worked so well! I don't know if I'm a queen of action and mystery, but I'm always trying to fit the puzzle pieces together to make for an interesting story. I'm glad you liked my puzzles!
Thanks so much for letting me be a part of your challenge! I've never written an Auror story before. This was fun!
Pix
Wow, what a coincidence, I've just read the story in which the other were-wolf's son was trapped into a false charge. I feel really thankful, you wrote this investigation for my story challenge, Pixi!
I felt the story reached nearly climax. The false charge was cleared for Bill and Tonks tried hard to protect him. It's awesome how she defended him from Hermione's inquiry and blaming himself. It's so sadly impressive to spot these words: Pain was a funny thing. Sometimes when the memories wouldn't leave him alone, all he wanted was for them to go away so he wouldn't have to feel it. But sometimes he wished that the past would consume him, and that all the suffering he went through was never going to be enough.
As I have experienced the same feeling as Bill you wrote, I really understand his pain. It was good for him Tonks was by his side. It's splendid you expressed his loss and his emotion deeply. On the contrary, serving a cup of coffee with the Wolfsbane potion by Tonks provided comfort after hurt.
Fleur's small frog statue should be a cute thing or something forever, however, it was used for trapping Bill. Readers including me hate the unrevealed culprit (s). You did a good job at the scene how Tonks put it into the silver bag. I remembered your other great work, the last scene of "The Rabbit Heart". You are adept at writing the action scene. The mystery will be revealed soon. It's a promising chapter!
K
Author's Response:Ah, yes! I just started reading Kevin's story, and it was fascinating to see that we were dealing with the same subject matter. It's a good thing that I hadn't peeked over there while I was writing my own story. Whew! It was hard to find the words to express Bill's internal struggle. I felt like he'd be hurting, but also blame himself at the same time.
Yes, pain is a universal theme. I wanted Tonks to be in a position to understand, and also give him what he needed.
Aw, thanks Kenny! Action scenes are hard. I usually have to write them a few times to get them where they need to be. It's like creating a dance. You get the moves, and then you try to string them together without making it look awkward. LOL!
Thanks for the review!
Pix
Pix! I'm here for that review you requested... forever ago. Ack! I'm so sorry! I totally forgot to check my review thread for a while. :S
So. Diving right in then! I love the way you start the reveal about the scar on her arm. My first thought was "...wait, she's a Death Eater?" when you mentioned her wrist twinging, which is a pretty wild theory to guess at, but I liked that you brought it up in a mysterious way before discussing what actually happened.
Also, I will forever be distraught over Remus and Tonks' death in DH but I'm still sad at this AU even though Tonks is alive, just because. as she puts it, they've been separated and this is almost crueler D-':
It seems so realistic that even after the fall of Voldemort, there's still a lot going on for the Aurors and having to capture all the people who were involved on Voldemort's side. I also like the detail you added about the Hunters, sort of vigilantes who are rounding up the Death Eaters by their own means, as that's something I can also totally see happening - just because the war is over doesn't mean all the chaos is too, and it's understandable that things are still all over the place for a while before it all settles down.
I'm also really sad about Marcus' wife (Fleur, I assume?)'s death and the circumstances of how it happened, omg what a horrible thing to happen :(
One thing that made me wonder if I'd missed something was how Tonks knows that the glowing scar means that he ("Marcus") is in danger. Is the behaviour of linked scars like that a well-known phenomenon in the wizarding world? They both seem to understand quite well how it works, considering neither of them understands how it got there in the first place. I think a little more background on it could be useful if it's background they know. I realize that Tonks says later in the chapter that she did some research after a panic attack, which clears it up a little, but it still came across the first time she mentioned it as something missing. (I hope that made sense...)
(Tangent: Marcus clearly has a superpower, I am amazed that he Apparated without creasing the cup or spilling the coffee. I once spilt coffee all over my face through the little hole in the top of a Starbucks cup lid because I moved my arm too fast. I don't know how it happened. Anyway I'm mad jealous of Marcus' skills and grace even when he is transformed into half a werewolf.)
Bill had no idea where to start. -- This is the first time that you mention his name is Bill - before the reveal at the end - and I kind of wonder if you meant Marcus?
Some overall thoughts: I really love your characterization. Particularly with Tonks. She's clearly changed a little bit, as would be expected from someone whose life partner has just died and she's had to pick up the pieces and move on - but she's still very much herself, very observant and stubborn. I love that she is on this mission to find the person with the matching scar and has been doing all this reconaissance at the place but also as a bonus gets to stop for coffee every day. And her tenacity at telling Bill not to give up is very reminiscent of how she was towards the end of HBP with Remus. Like "get over yourself and your self-pity, there are things to do" :P I'm totally unsurprised that she had no reaction to Bill's half transformation either, as she was married to a werewolf before.
There's a bit more mystery surrounding Bill, allusions made to things that happened in his past, and I'm curious to find out more. And what drives these sudden random transformations. It must be so incredibly inconvenient for him.
This is such an interesting start. I haven't read many Soulmate AU stories (as in, I've read one) so this is a totally new thing for me, and I love what you've written so far! I don't know what tropes of this type of story are common, but it all seems quite original to me. I love the mystery you've woven in, the pacing is really good, and your writing style is engaging. The end of the chapter leaves it well set up for Tonks and Bill to become a great team, even though Bill is reluctant to tell her much, but the fact that they did tell each other that they'd each lost someone, it kind of starts them off understanding each other a little.
Once again, I'm so sorry for taking so long on this request. But I really loved this chapter! Please feel free to re-request though, and I promise I will be properly checking my review thread from now on XD
Author's Response:Yay Review!!
It's okay that this took a little while. My summer has been packed with stuff, so I am just getting around to responding. No worries!
Don't feel bad about the lack of knowledge in Soulmate AUs. I hadn't read any Soulmate AUs until I entered this challenge, so you can't exactly compare it to a typical Soulmate AU and how people do them. I DO NOT KNOW THIS!! I just sort of threw all my stuff in there for the challenge and then wrote the story.
I probably shouldn't have mentioned Bill right there in that section. Let's just call it a typo and move on. Haha. One day I'll go back and fix that. Bill's transformations are way more than just an inconvenience. But he's doing the best he can with what he has. Tonks also doesn't want to die, so it's important that she gets the two of them on the same page, no matter what the circumstances. She's a practical one, isn't she?
Thanks for the review! I will definitely rerequest when I get around to it. :)
Pix
Pix,
Bravo and Bravo! What a masterfully done story!! The Fenrir ruse at Azkaban, his framing Bill and his Ring of Werewolf Mastery...all superb!
Well done!!
I'm going to have a hard time beating that in Kenny's Auror Tales Challenge! :)
As always, you capture the reader with your plots, prose and excellent descriptions!!
Kev
Author's Response:Hey Kevin! I just realized that you DID leave the last review for this, and now you've done it twice. Haha!
Thanks so much for reading my story! And congrats for first place in the challenge!
Pix
Pix,
Oh my...
That was heart-rending and exciting, all at the same time!
You describe Tonks and Bill's emotions so vividly and completely that you suck the reader right into their minds and hearts. Bravo, for another terrific tri-chapter.
Can't wait for the ending!!!
Kev
Author's Response:Thanks Kevin!
Pix
Pix,
Another awesome tri-chapter!!
Your descriptions are amazing and your story line is really interesting!! Such an original idea you have here, and you've developed it so well. Kudos!!
Also, I really enjoy how you slip in the back-story bits so effortlessly.
I can't wait to get to the rest of it!!!!
Kev
Author's Response:I tried to make all the backstory bits count for something. If they didn't mean anything, I took them out. But that also meant that if I needed something, I had to create a place for it. Talk about feng shui for writers!
Thanks for your review!
Pix
Gotta say, I definitely did not see this ending coming. I mean, obviously the Bill/Tonks bit I did, but the Greyback bit???? Not at all. I would never have guessed they were using herbs to trigger the transformations, or that he was in charge of the Hunters.
I absolutely loved the world you crafted so deftly in these 22k! The corruption that was rampant, despite Voldy being dead; the way you made things that were only mentioned once or twice in the books into fully fleshed out universes of their own (I would LOVE if you wrote more about cursebreakers!!!!) and just…..the way it all felt so real?
I loved the way the fic was structured too, the twelve scenes and how they were all in a different place, with no waffling about getting from here to there, which I do constantly. The ending was utterly perfect -- often with endings that are also the beginning of something new I feel weirdly cheated, you know? But this time not at all! I'm super glad they didn't kiss, actually -- it would have felt far too rushed, and this is what they both deserve. Gosh, Pix, I don't know what to say, I loved this fic so much! Masterful work.
Author's Response:Oh hey!
I'm finally getting around to responding to your fantastic words! I'm so happy you're enjoying the story! Yeah, I really had to be creative with the WHY all these things were happening, because I couldn't just say, "Because STORY!!" People won't let that fly.
Aw, I'm glad you liked the worldbuilding. There wasn't much of it, I didn't think... mostly just the gimmicks I had to create to make things work the way I needed them to for the story. The structure was a fun way to explore the world too, and it DID keep me from waffling about the scene changes. And yeah, the ending needed to not be so abrupt or rushed, but I had to END it, you know? Like, they're done. Mystery solved. People get on with your lives now. Haha!
Thanks so much for appreciating my story!
Pix
Oh NO. So someone framed him! But also possibly triggered his transformation? Oh this is so complicated, I LOVE IT.
Ohhhhh nooooooooo. BILL. I love how masterfully you've tied everything together, I genuinely had no idea how you were going to do it until you did. This chapter was such a great demonstration of your skill in laying out (part of) the solution to the central mystery and it never felt like you were dumping a load of information, it all felt so natural within the narrative. Given how much worldbuilding you've done, that's incredible. I loved the joke about interrogation room 5 and man, you just....succeed so hard at plotting?
All three scenes were so different and so good, too -- I love their relationship and the constant comparison between Bill and Remus. And Shell Cottage!!!!! That was so heartbreaking. I totally hadn't expected your solution at all, it was infinitely easier than what I was imagining, haha! I can't adequately explain what I was thinking, but I do know that it was unnecessarily complex and I could not see how it could be possible at all. Which makes sense because it wasn't.
But yes, ahhh I loved this chapter and I love this fic, it's so tightly plotted and so well-done!!!! Congrat on the excellent fic, onto the last chapter!
Author's Response:Hi there!
Ah, my muse tends to run away with plot. It was so hard reining in all the ideas that kept popping into my head about what could possibly go wrong. And yeah, I really wanted that joke about Interrogation Room #5, and it was the absolute worst place in the story to put it, but that was the only time they would be there... so... yeah. I let Tonks just internalize all of that and squeezed it in. Bill most likely felt like he was being interrogated, so I guess it worked out. More irony than funny.
The locations made each scene have their own, sort of flair, I guess? I can't imagine what you were imagining for the solution to the problems I created... it must have been REALLY complicated, haha!
Thanks so much for another great review!
Pix
Hey Pix! Back with another requested review! :)
I'm really loving the awkwardness between Tonks' and Bill's circumstances. Like how familiar Tonks is with Bill's family. It makes the soulmate thing seem not convenient and therefore unrealistic, but you've created something new in a familiar world and I'm really impressed with that :) I also think the plot is such a perfect way to bring them together, like how Tonks needs to stop the Hunters from killing Bill or she'll be killed as well. I don't know, it just seems really well put together!
The goblin's names are so brilliant haha :') and this line made me laugh also! Nash snorted. "A hag. Just your luck."
Bill's line of work actually sounds amazing and if you created like an episodic series about curse-breakers I would read that!
Ooh, what's the ending with Goyle? How intriguing! Great chapter, Pix! x
Author's Response:Hi there!
The whole family familiarity thing was a wrench in my plans. I didn't want to change canon more than I had to, but since it WAS an AU, I felt like I could take a few liberties. I just didn't have the time or space to do more explaining than I used. Frankly, I never read Soulmate AUs, so I didn't know ANY of the typical tropes or conventions for them. So, yeah.
Oh yeah, goblin names. They started out as "how ridiculous can I make these sound without it looking like I'm just going for the most ridiculous name ever?" I played a game with myself, and rolled with whatever came of it. It was fun! Also yeah. The guys would have some fun with Bill's predicament. They'd be wondering what kind of soulmate he'd have, and I just wanted to add a little levity to the situation. They have been taking great care of him, so it'd all be in fun, anyway.
Ah, maybe. I loved the idea of curse breakers and what they get up to. I don't know if I'll revisit that profession or not, but the idea is tucked away for 'someday'. Glad you liked it!
Thanks for a great review!
Pix
Hey, I'm here for our swap! (Sorry for the delay!)
I loved this so, so much. Tonks is such a vibrant, active person, and thinking about what she'd do without Remus is such an interesting thought exercise. You captured her perfectly; a lot of her bluntness clearly remains, but there's an edge to her now that wasn't there in the books. That makes so much sense, given what she's been through in terms of losing Remus and this situation with the soulmate thing.
I also kind of like the implication (that I think is there?) that Remus wasn't actually her soulmate. I know she loved him, but that relationship in the books always felt a little forced to me, and I think that he wasn't wrong - he was too old for her. The idea that she has such a strong connection with someone else is just so perfect, and I can't wait to see how you tackle this going forward!
Also: oh my god, I did not see that twist coming! I had no effing clue Marcus was Bill - I didn't look at the character list before clicking in. I'm so stunned right now - I just can't. That's legit one of the most amazing reveals, and I love it.
This is an amazing premise, and you execute it so well!
Author's Response:Hello!
Gosh, it's been TOO LONG, and I'm just now responding. That's bad of me, but life is busy, and I'm here now, so THANK YOU for a great review!!
Tonks was a fantastic character to play with. She's got a lot going on, and something is wrong in her world that she needs to fix. Don't get between her and her problems, or you'll probably bleed or something.
Anyway, I suppose that since this is a Soulmate AU fic, you could say that Remus wasn't her soulmate. But also, since he's dead, could she have another one? That's an interesting question. I know that soulmates are mostly about "there can be only one", but what if, you know? Anyway, there's a bit about what's going on in a future chapter. Let me know what you think when you get there.
Ah, yes. The twist just felt so right. It kind of amazed me that it worked out so well. When I was writing this, I was thinking "please let this work out as good as it sounds in my head", so I spent a little time with the timing of it... I'm glad it was worth it. It's one of my favorite twists . :) Though I think I have a typo right before it that needs fixing.
Thanks so much for all your kind words! We should swap again sometime!
Pix
Hi Pix! I'm here for the Gryffie review tag!! (and because I've been impossibly curious about this story ever since you posted it, because it's a soulmate AU that's a total departure from the typical soulmate AU plotline/story)
This is truly such an interesting take on... well, everything. First off, I love how much thought you've put into the creation of the soulmate marks, what they mean, and how they got there. It shows just how much work you put into the story, establishing all of that, as well as all of the elements of backstory here, like how Tonks was saved even though Remus wasn't, how Bill lost his wife and developed this new form of lycanthropy - all of those details really make this story something really unique.
I adore your descriptions, particularly when you were talking about fear - I have a thing with cool words, so the phrase "vile, insidious sensation that sank into his every fibre" is just... yes.
You've also done a great job establishing the groundwork for the rest of this story. For starters, Tonks and Bill have great chemistry, with Tonks just being completely unafraid of him even in his half-werewolf state, and Bill knowing that there's no way he can get away with lying to her. I'm intrigued to see how their relationship develops throughout the story. And, of course, you've teased about these Hunters, which I'm assuming are going to become a central plot point for the rest of the story!
Great first chapter, I can't wait to read more!!
-Taylor
Author's Response:Taylor!
Teach me how to write romance!
Thanks! I try to make stuff 'interesting', mostly by taking the road 'least likely to be traveled', and then explore what that means. The descriptions come when they come, and I try not to force them. I could pepper the entire fic with really cool descriptions, but then my muse is all 'why?', so I throw them in when they work. I'm glad you liked that one. It needs to touch the character to make an impact, so I use that as my guide. :) It worked this time. Most of the time it looks like this: *flails wildly*
The first chapter NEEDED some grounding, since I went all kinds of crazy with the other ideas. :P I am VERY CURIOUS to see what you think of the whole thing and how it comes together, so if you don't get a chance to review every chapter, I don't mind if you just leave a summary review for the last chapter one day.
THANKS FOR READING THIS! I LOVE YOU!
Pix
Hi Pix! I’m finally getting around to reviewing everyone’s entries for my Soulmate AU challenge so here I am with yours! :)
Firstly, I just wanted to say how much I love that you ran with your prompts and did not only a multi-chapter story, but a 22k word story! I’m happy that you had that much inspiration for the piece from the challenge prompts! Also, this is my first story reading about Bill/Tonks as a pairing, so that excited me as well to read this. Your soulmate prompt was the pulsing dashes when in danger and the like, so I was very curious to see how you portrayed it with my less than great description lol. Your random prompt was the ridiculous coffee order, and I honestly almost forgot that was your prompt because it was written in such a way as to be seamless with the plot rather than a simple character trait, so I truly applaud you for that.
So I’m not going to go into super detail because that would go way over the character limit for reviews, but I’ll give you my general thoughts for the piece regarding how it worked with the prompts, the characters, and the plot. As I already mentioned, you did a great job with integrating the soulmate marks for Tonks and Bill into the time just after the Second Wizarding War, which I was honestly not expecting. When I saw that this was a Bill/Tonks pairing, but after the war where Remus is dead, I was confused initially because canonically, Fleur is fine (obvi) so that intrigued me to see how this was going to play out. I also quite enjoyed how you portrayed the aftermath of the War with the Hunters trying to do the Auror’s job (ish) as a more dystopian future than what canon gives us. Your imagination with Bill’s werewolf condition and the thought process behind that from Fenrir with the flowers to change how the lycanthropy virus works is quite honestly ingenious and works as a huge driving factor for this fast-paced plot.
Your level of detail for how Tonks and Bill got their soulmate marks was amazingly well done and tightly sealed--no plot holes found by me! You spent a good amount of time providing reasons as to why Fenrir Greyback created the Hunters and for finding the plant that allowed for shifting at non-full moon times, making him into a truly multi-dimensional villain. Overall, this story is very well done and I’m happy that you enjoyed writing it! Phenomenal writing and plot as a whole, I’ll be posting the challenge results later! :)~MadiMalfoy x
Author's Response:MadiMalfoy!!
I'm finally getting to responding to this review. Gosh, it's been a while. I loved all the things you had to say about my story. :)
It's my first story with Bil/Tonks too, lol. Also my first Soulmate AU, and since I had never read any Soulmate AUs except the first entry before I started writing mine, I had no clue as to the typical things that people did with them. So I just made stuff up and hoped for the best. So, it's an AU, which means Fleur can be dead, and Tonks can be alive, right? Because... AU... ?? Anyway...
The whole Lycanthropy thing fascinates me. There are so many ways to think about it, and so many what if's to play with. So yeah. What if Bill had a latent virus ... what if it took a while to kick it... and then what if that's not exactly what's going on? What if the whole setup was a red herring??
I'm glad you didn't find any holes. I was plotting HARD to make sure it all flowed. Whew!
Thanks for the challenge! I've now written something I never thought I ever would. :)
Pix
Pix,
Such a great start! Super descriptions and a super curse!
Your excellent descriptions (both physical and mental) led to a quick realization that the "mystery man" was Bill, but I love the way you led the reader to him.
Such an original plot, and I really like the way you've organized the story into sub-chapters (and POV's)...really cool!
Can't wait to read the rest!!
Kev
Author's Response:Hi Kev!
Thanks for reading! I can't wait to see what you think of the ending. When you get there, please leave me a note to tell me how it all worked together! The original idea was to do a 12 chapter story, with each POV in a different chapter, but then I thought I'd have a hard time getting people to do 12 reviews for my story, so I combined them into three scenes per chapter. It seems to be working, and people are getting around to the end. Haha! Marketing, you know? :P
So gald you're enjoying it!
Pix
Pix, I'm here with review 3 of 3, leaving it for the last chapter as requested.
There was so much going on! But in a very good and very exciting way. And I've got to hand it to you, I think it's the details of this piece that stuck out to me the most, like with the different security guards and how Tonks knew something was up; how the wolf's lethargy was a way they knew it wasn't actually Greyback.
I loved how everything came full circle; that Tonks was able to get revenge for Remus and allow them both to rest, and that Bill was able to get the revenge he deserved for Fleur. And god, I just wanted to hug him when they were both back at Shell Cottage. I can't imagine how painful being back there would be, but I loved that they were able to use magic and the photographs to sort of piece everything together; it was really creative and it definitely made sense to me. I'm so glad Tonks went with Bill, though, because I don't think that that's something he should've done alone. And speaking of full circle, I loved that this started with them meeting in a coffee shop and ending with Bill asking her for a cup of coffee. It seems so trivial and normal after everything they've been through, but I think that's what they need; some shred of normalcy and someone who understood them better than anyone else. I have to admit, I got excited about the idea of them coming up with stories to tell Molly, but I'm glad you left it sort of up in the air.
Greyback was the perfect villain for this and it makes sense why you chose him. Having a city of controlled werewolves is absolutely terrifying; I'm so so glad that Bill and Tonks were able to come out victorious in that last fight in the kitchen. And I was going to ask how Bill knew the exact moment to come out, but you explained it away with the soulmate bond, and I think that worked quite well for this.
You did an amazing job of keeping everything fast paced while not forgetting about the soulmark; you'd mention it during the fight, and later after, and a few other times in the piece and I think it worked well. I liked your origin story behind that as well.
Overall, this was a really excellent read! I've never considered Bill and Tonks as a pairing before, but I loved this AU and was really rooting for them. I also had no idea if they were going to end up together or not, and the last section at the end tied it all together nicely without feeling too forced.
I'm glad that they both can start to put their past behind them and help each other heal and move forward.
Good luck in the challenge! ♥ ♥ ♥
Author's Response:Hi again!
It's the last chapter!!! I tried to make all the details count for something. I hate it when I'm reading a story and I end up skimming past stuff that doesn't really matter.
They both got some closure, which is important if they're going to move forward with their lives. They've both had a really rough year, which I think is the same for other people who have gone through the war.
Greyback worked out so well! I don't think I could have picked anyone better than him. I couldn't recall what happened to him after the war, but it sort of made sense that he'd be one of the people that was still somewhere out there, trying to buck the system.
Oh yeah, that would have been really bad of me to not include the soulmate mark as a central thing in the story, since it was supposed to be a soulmate fic... lol.
Thanks for your wonderful words!
Pix
Ah, yes! I'm so happy! All's well that ends well, right? :)
Finally Greyback is going to pay for everything, and Bill and Tonks can have their fresh start again! This is so great! :D
I loved how you wrote the action in the Erised Cafe section, it was so well done! And, well, I loved how you built the whole plot, it was all so clever! I knew there was something wrong with the Hunters... had Greyback basically hypnotized all of them? I so hate him, btw...
This was such a great story! Thank you so much for stopping by my review thread and making me discover it! :)
Tons of love, dear!
Chiara
Author's Response:Hi! I'm sure these review responses are all over the place, but I just want you to know how much I appreciate your comments on this story!
This last chapter is the most important to me, because I get to see if the readers have embraced all the tied up bits and whether they've spotted anything that I left out. Looks like you're good with the ending. I tried to make it as satisfying as possible, while not stretching it beyond the scope I initially set out to cover. That's hard for me. I always get weird ideas and my muse tends to run off to Timbuktu and come back three monts later with a tan and a mysterious tattoo.
I'm so happy you reviewed the whole thing. Thank you!
Pix
Ah, he didn't kill Fleur! I love this! It's such a huge weight lifted from his shoulders and I'm so glad that he knows the truth now!
I also love your concept that werewolves do have some kind of awareness when they transform. It's not my interpretation at all, but I love it! And of course Tonks would understand Bill's feelings so well... poor Bill, he's just so broken. That moment when they were waiting for the test results... I was so anguished for him. And I'm so, so glad that Tonks and Bill have found each other, because they are obviously helping each other out a lot. I love how Tonks compares Bill's attitude with Remus' and I love that she has the chance to hold him when he's falling apart, that scene was so emotional and I loved it so, so much!
All the description of Shell Cottage was so lovely, too. Your whole writing style is so lovely, now that I'm thinking about it. Poor Bill, this must be so hard, but it is something he needed to do. And he doesn't have to do it alone, which is so lovely.
So, basically, I'm loving this story more and more and I'm totally going to check out the last chapter after lunch!
Wonderful job so far!
Chiara
Author's Response:Hi again!
It IS a big weight off his shoulders. He's just been carrying it for so long that it's going to take him a while to realize that the weight really isn't STILL THERE. Poor guy!
Yeah, that whole werewolf thing was a concern for this story. In canon, wolfsbane is supposed to calm the beast so that the wizard remains aware during the change. I tried to incorporate that here, with Bill having both his coffee AND being affected by whatever is causing him to half-change. This is a prime example of my muse running away with a plot point and me scrambling to keep it all together.
Crazy muse. I'm taking away her rollerblades!
That scene after the test results came in was critical. I didn't know if I got it right, and I think I wrote that scene a few times over just to be sure I had as much as I could take. But yeah. It was meant to be a big deal, because it really is a big deal to both of them. I'm glad it worked for you.
Thanks for another fantastic review!
Pix
Hi, Pix, I'm back! :)
Oh, wow... does this mean that the Hunters are lying? I'm not exactly surprised by that, unless there's something more complex going on? I don't trust them, anyway, and I don't like that they are after Bill... he's a victim, he hasn't done anything wrong, not voluntarily, at least... :(
I love the soulmate theme, but I think I already told you that. I love the idea that the curse was meant to be a blessing, like a way to heal people who went through big suffering, which is obviously what happened to Bill and Tonks when they lost Fleur and Remus. And of course there is a lot Bill and Remus have in common and I love you are pointing that out.
What I'm not sure about is (and it might be my fault, because I wasn't 100% focused while I was reading...) how much does Williamson know about the link between Tonks and Bill? And if Bill is wanted, which I think he is?, will Tonks' team cover up for him? Admitting they made/will make the connection? This is complicated for sure, but it looks like they have each other's back, so hopefully it won't be that much of a mess? Yeah, I'm worried...
I also really, really love Bill's colleagues. They are such an awesome and supportive group. And he really needs all the support, the poor guy... Ah, I so love this!
This was such a great chapter! Moving to chapter 3 now! :)
Lots of love,
Chiara
Author's Response:Hi Chiara! I'm back too!
Umm... yeah, the Hunters have their own thing going on. They're above/beyond the law here, so that's gotta be a bad thing, and yes, it's a bit more complex. But you know that by now. :)
In this story, Bill and Remus have some clear parallels, and yes, for Tonks' sake, I wanted to set that up. But also, it gives Bill a way to be understood by someone who's been there with someone else in his position. It was the best way I could think of to make these two work.
You've got all the questions, and the rest of the story has all the answers. Haha!
I love Bill's colleagues too! I wanted to show their lives where they are, but not in a rambling novel way, just in a "here, you have lives and you're trying to live in them' way without slowing the story down. I'm glad that worked for you too!
Thanks so much for reading this story and leaving me your words!
Pix
Oh boy. I LOVE the twist you've put on the soulmate AU -- I hadn't even *considered* setting it in a universe where soulmates weren't an established thing. I love that it's the fault of a curse that Bill was breaking, and I LOVE that I did not at all pick up on who it was -- to the point where I almost went "you say Bill in this sentence, did you mean Marcus?" but thankfully decided to just let it slide. And then....I read the end of chapter one and a-duh.
Your characterisation of Tonks is so spot on, and although I was initially confused about like, why wouldn't she know Bill, you did mention that she never joined the Order -- though I do wonder how she met Remus in that case? I mean, it's not important, I was just wondering. UPDATE: chapter 2 obviously answered all of these questions.
gosh, the pacing in this is so masterfully done! the line "“Time’s up, Tonks,” Williamson said from his desk. He swiveled his chair around and met her, glare to glare. “I’m all ears.”" is so gooooood, I don't quite know why? Like, there's nothing special about the line, but it was just so *satisfying*.
"Goblin magic was unforgiving." I LOVE THIS DETAIL. gosh I am LIVING for the details of cursebreaking life. "“Dartmoor. In Devon. I bet someone tipped over the Beardown Man again.” Sector Seven wasn’t part of Gringotts’ treasure recovery territories. It was maintenance work. There wasn’t anything of value there, but it didn’t keep people from snooping around the sacred land of the pixies. " I have no useful things to say about this, I just super duper duper love when people talk about wizarding jobs!!!!
I'm so intrigued by the new mystery you presented at the end of this chapter -- the plottiness of this is so good (it's something I super struggle with, so I just have everyone have emotions instead :P) and I love how this adds a whole new layer of weirdness to the Hunters.
Sorry, I feel like this review wasn't useful in any way shape or form and I said...basically nothing, but I loved what I've read so far! I will be back to leave a second review after I've done some homework.
Author's Response:Hi there!!!
Umm... well, since I'd never actually read a Soulmate AU fic before I entered this challenge, I had absolutely no reference points to jump from, so I just found the nearest cliff and dove head first into the waters. And well... there you go. It's probably why this fic doesn't have any cliche' soulmate tropes... because I don't know what they are. Oops? Hahah!
Actually, re-reading that bit, I should have used "Marcus" instead of "Bill". So hooray for finding a typo. :) I waffled a bit on how to portray the secret identity and make the reveal a big reveal-y thing. It seems to have worked. But I still wonder if I could have done that better. For example, if the reader didn't have a clear idea of who "Bill Weasley" was, would they care if he had a completely different name?
I really like that last line by Williamson. He's that no-nonsense kind of boss who gave Tonks her space, but when the facts mandated that it was time to spill, he wasn't going to let her off the hook. I really liked how it felt when I wrote it, and it seems to have worked out. Yay!
Oh man, I think I could write about Curse Breakers all day long. It sounds so cool, and I'm sure they get up to their own adventures all the time. For the purpose of this story, I just wanted to show that they have a lot going on off-screen, and that Bill isn't sitting around moaning about his life. He's in danger, but he also goes to work in the midst of life-threatening situations every day as well. It's not really a great line of work when someone else's life is on the line. Another quandry.
I LIVE FOR PLOT... and I avoid emotional situations like the plague. So kinda opposite of you... we should team up some time! I wonder what THAT kind of story would be like. Haha.
Thanks for the review! I hope you get a chance to read the rest of the story!
Pix
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