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i've been a big fan of libba bray for some time now. i remember reading her gemma doyle trilogy and absolutely falling in love with it. and the absolutely wild ride that was beauty queens. going bovine was a pretty interesting book but not my favourite.
i was really excited when i heard about the diviners series because for once i actually read the summary and it sounded like just the type of thing that i was interested in. i read it once when it came out and i've been meaning to read it again but i never got it around to it because life happened and then the second and third book in the series came out and well ... those books have just been gathering dust in my drawers as well. i finished my second read through of it last night and i honestly forgot how much i loved this book.
if you're into the supernatural and things that go bump in the night i think you'll like this book. a common complaint i hear is that people don't like the main character evie which i can understand but honestly, she doesn't bother me that much.
the basic gist of the story is that evie is a diviner, she can read peoples past by touching objects that they own, now this isn't a spoiler because it's literally mentioned in like the first few pages of the book, it basically sets up the rest of the story. so she leaves ohio and goes to new york to live with her uncle who runs a museum for the occult and supernatural. a minor detail i forgot to mention is that this is set in the 1920s which i think really added to the story personally but that's just me.
so she goes to live with her uncle and then these murders begin happening by someone called the pentacle killer and basically he kills his victims and takes a part of their body because he needs it for a ritual. not to give too much away but there's basically a cult called the Brethren (which are in fact a real thing but somehow i don't think the modern day group is up to the same stuff that the people in the book are) and this guy trying to raise the beast to purge the world of sin yadi yadi yada. you get the idea. and evie uses her power to help solve the case.
there's also quite a few other characters involved, each who have their own special powers going on and who come from different walks of life.
the writing is really great, it really sucks you into the story and it fits with the setting and the plot ya know. like you ever read a story and the plot itself is great the writing style and the tone just don't fit what is going on? this wasn't a problem in this story. the murders themselves were so creepy and gruesome. the characters were great, they all had a lot of depth and believability to them. i know the use of 1920s sland was a problem with some people but i personally enjoyed it, i thought it added to the story. i don't know if flappers actually used slang in each and every single sentence because i wasn't alive then and all but i mean it fit so i was like okay.
it's a pretty big book, like 600 pages, and the print itself is fairly small so you K N O W that you're getting your bang for your buck. so all in all i definitely recommend and if you do decide to read it please let me know if you enjoyed it i'd love to discuss it with someone.
in the meantime, i'm going to be reading its sequel, lair of dreams, which i'm really excited about and catching up on season 3 of outlander (which i F I N A L L Y found online).
So ever since we got the new skins (thank you admins!!!), there has been a problem: when you copy something manually from a post, it ends up with black of white bars of background behind the text, depending on which skin you're using. It looks ugly, it doesn't go away when you're trying to copy and paste links even if you manually try to change the background, and it's the worst. I mean, not actually the worst, but it's pretty annoying.
One way to fix this is to do ctrl+shift+v but that strips out ALL formatting, including links or bolding. And sometimes you're lazy and really want to keep that formatting instead of redoing it all in the text box. (thank you @just.a.willow.tree for reminding me that I should have put this in here as a solution also!)
I have found another solution.
The solution was actually always there, I just didn't notice it. So I will walk you through it and then you, too, will have magical power over the background bars! It's possible that everyone knew it and this is going to look silly, but I suspect not, because otherwise the background thing wouldn't be happening. Note that this will ONLY WORK if the thing you're copying doesn't already have a weird background. If it does, then it will keep that weird background and everything is still sad. There is a slightly more bothersome solution to this: copy and paste the thing you want and then hit the Tx button -- the one on the far left of the text box right next to my profile pic in steps two and three. It will strip the bolding and italics but it will KEEP links, so it's slightly better than ctrl+shift+v.
Find your thing you want to copy. Then highlight it and scroll to the bottom of the text you're copying. You'll see an orange "QUOTE SELECTION" button. Click it. (I really should have picked an example that had formatting to demonstrate how it retains the formatting, but I didn't and now it's 1am and I'm not about to change these pictures.)
So now you've got the thing you want to copy inside a quote box in the text editor at the bottom of the page. This isn't actually a step, I just want to make sure your post looks something like this:
"But Emma," you say. "I don't want it inside a quote box! I just want it by itself!" Ah, here is the magic.What you want to do is go to the black bar that will say either "QUOTE" or "On [date] at [time], [user] said:" and then ctrl+right click on it, preferably where the [date] [time] [user] text is, just to make sure it'll come up correctly. And then the menu in this picture will come up and you want to click Remove Quote and Keep Contents. And voila! Now you have your text with all the existing formatting, without the gross background, and there's no quote box! We did it! We vanquished IPB!
For further IPB-vanquishing, try ctrl+right clicking other elements of your post! You can set the dimensions of images! I was going to have a list here but that's actually the only other one I've found so far! Do let me know if you find another cool thing you can do.
So I just spent today reading, reviewing, and judging all my entries for the Love, ______ Challenge, and I've never been happier to just sit back and enjoy your stories in my life. Every single one of them gave me so many feelings, and I just wanted to thank each and every one of you who entered. Reading all these beautiful, or happy-ending, or creative (or all three!) stories about queer couples made me happier than you can imagine. 💛
A quick reminder about the prizes! (I'm going to be leaving a lot of reviews this next week. 😋)
Third Place: 3 reviews on a story of your choice; prize graphic
Second Place: 5 reviews on a story of your choice; prize graphic
First Place: 7 reviews on a story of your choice; prize graphic; link to your story in my signature for a month
I received seven beautiful entries, and I'm going to list them all for you (in order of submission) with little blurbs in case they interest you! I highly, highly recommend reading through all of them; they are certain to make you smile and make you giddy with excitement.
Two Months (M) by @Levana -- Maggie used JKR's brief mention of Cho marrying a Muggle and created an adorable meet-cute story from that. This entire story was so fluffy and sweet, and the best part for me was, I didn't have to stress out at all about conflict. Two Months is a joyous ride from beginning to end, and though there are of course ups and downs, your heart will almost certainly be warm throughout.
Summer Rains by @VaguelyCreativeName -- In this one-shot, Julia took a rarepair (Lavender/Padma) and breathed life into the pairing. From the beautiful, lush descriptions of the Patil's grandparents' home to the adorable, sweet banter between Lavender and Padma (with Parvati's teasing thrown in), this story flows so naturally and progresses so beautifully that I couldn't help but smile while reading.
Little White Lies by @magnifique -- What I love about this multi-chap is the sense of mystery that it provides as to the motives of one peculiar Beatrice Wood. The main character is Molly II, and from the very beginning, her lies are told and this intriguing story is set up. Julie does such a wonderful job writing likable characters, from OCs to canon Next Gen characters, and I had so much fun reading this!
We, Lawbreaking Citizens (M) by @Rumpelstiltskin -- This is one of the most original ideas I have ever come across while reading both published works and fics. Rumpels created such a wonderful, detailed world with such a unique plot, and the further you read, the more pieces will slowly click into place, until every new paragraph brings a lightbulb to light in your mind. We, Lawbreaking Citizens is just so creative.
Slow Love by @TheGoldenKneazle -- The discussion of questioning identity in this adorable piece, as well as the slow progression between Scorpius and James's relationship, was so well done. Lottie handled this rarepair masterfully, and both characters are so well fleshed-out with their own unique hobbies and interests. I loved getting to see Scorpius and James become closer and closer in this story, and I'm sure you will too.
Of Bookshelves and Baby Carriers (M) by @poppunkpadfoot -- Kayla put Wolfstar in a Muggle AU setting, and this adorable, hilarious, quirky short story came out of it. Her depictions of baby Harry are the absolute cutest, to the point where I was just clutching my heart at some of the child's antics while reading. Please read this one if you want to smile yourself silly; it's just that amusing and that well-written.
Marigolds by @Unwritten Curse -- Gina managed to take Marietta Edgecombe's point of view and turn it into a poetic piece of art. Getting to read her pretty words and also the wonderful, wonderful relationship between Marietta and Cho felt so fulfilling. I really enjoyed reading this one.
Now, onto the winners!
Marigolds by @Unwritten Curse!
Summer Rains by @VaguelyCreativeName!
Of Bookshelves and Baby Carriers by @poppunkpadfoot!
A huge congratulations to all the winners, and an incredible thank you to everyone who participated! All of you helped to just make my day. 💛 Winners, please make sure to PM me about which stories you'd like your prize reviews on, and if you want to use the graphics, please rehost and credit me! 😊
Thank you all again! 💛
Depression is a creature that lurks around at the back of your mind like an icy gooey substance until it engulfs all of sanity. By the time this happens, you're an entire different person. Funny thing is, at this most fragile state would your mind finally understand the nature of the people around you, plunging you even deeper into depression.
I joined the fan fiction world in 2011, through HPFF. This was where I met my first real female friend. I had a serious case of insomnia and depression at the time but I refused to acknowledge either of the conditions. This was when a lovely person with the username "Maybe" posted on my profile offering a welcome note and a tour of the site. My friendship with Emily started with a simple PM.
A couple months passed by and we were having an uninterrupted conversation via PM. The House Cup of 2012 brought us closer. It was not a mere House Cup like every year but it was the Triwizard Tournament that time. We had so much fun writing for all the challenges and she even took part in the podcast. I got closer to Summer, Beyond the Rain, Roxi and so many others. We were having daily conversations on Skype. Even after the tournament ended, we didn't stop talking on Skype.
Due to our time differences Emily was always with me during night time and my insomnia went unnoticed. She introduced me to Doctor Who and we started to watch together on Skype. It was the best friendship I'd ever had. We got really close.
Then it was time for me to go out to the real world. I kept missing her on Skype and we had no smart phones to WhatsApp or anything. I kept receiving her emails about how she missed me and I repeatedly emailed her about how I miss her. We barely had time to talk.
After a while, when I finally got my life together on this end, I came looking for her on HPFF. She hadn't been around in a long while and her HPFF email wasn't working either. It was around this time that I realised how she had helped me get over depression.
I made several efforts to come back to HPFF but ended up deleting my profile every single time. HPFF just wasn't HPFF without her. For me.
It's been six years now and I still miss her like insane. I went through two depression cycles after that and it was not as easy as the first time. But I learned to handle it on my own. I guess I learnt to grow up in the end.
I'm back now, hoping to start a new chapter in my writing life. I'm gonna put everything we planned into action, especially the novel. This way, I'd still have a portion of her with me for a very long time
Apparently I've been naughty and skipped my post last month... so I'm going to put May and June together. Also... wait a sec... how is half year already gone? What's happening? It would be really nice if life slowed down a little bit? Anyway, here we go! And as always, hope you enjoy reading!
8 - Day so and so, mood not at its highest, but it cheered me up exchanging messages with Richard and I even managed to write a little bit... forecasting a productive evening... maybe...
9 - Productive evening: I wrote, I worked on the newsletter, I even replied to a few reviews... and the mood has definitely improved. And tomorrow is Thursday already!
14 - May almost at a half, the Austrian wedding is nearing, if everything goes well Jimmy will have a new chapter soon (or two? Or three?) and I've been dancing these days... Many goals still to reach, but a little at a time it can be done!
15 - And the new chapter of Jimmy has been posted, and also Sybill's predictions have been written. Extremely satisfied with myself.
17 - The forecast has run and Federico is happy. All the "adult" stuff as been done, so tonight I can HPFT without worries. And tomorrow is Friday!
23 - Home early, with all the time just for myself and a big will to read and write. Half of the week overcome without damage.
26 - A week to the wedding, a nice evening with friends, talking about cinema with Federico and also a bit of time to read and write. Saturday full of satisfaction.
27 - Emma insulting my characters, and then to the cinema to see Star Wars. Busy day, but I'm happy. And next week is a short one and then... we go!
28 - Minus three to leaving! Tiring day, but proficuous. New dancing figure. Starting the day chatting with Emma about history and politics (which actually is a depressing subject, but you can at least try to laugh over it...)
29 - The small joys of life: getting home with the sun, the roses blossoming in the garden, the good food, the unexpected reviews.
31 - On the train, which is leaving right now. And someone just suggested that we are on the Hogwarts' Express (which is true in a way...) Vienna, here I come!
2 - Despite it also rained, a spendid day, made of games, dances and hugs. Happy of seeing Jo so happy.
3 - Relax at the lake and then a walk in the evening in the center of Vienna. And at the end the pleasure of getting back home and enjoying the rest after a long day.
8 - Plans for the summer meet-up, the beautiful reviews from Shreya, the small dayly conquests (hesitate only a moment facing the hard question: "But then your parents...?"), discovering that "Love, Simon" is out at the cinema.
10 - The magic of classical music with the scenery of the Duomo under the starry sky.
11 - Even a not exactly idyllic day can improve spending the night making plans for the summer meet-up and chatting with Anja and Renee.
18 - It's official, summer has arrived! And it's lovely to have lunch in the open when the sky is blue. And working at the rythm of latin music.
27 - And June is coming to an end, which means that August (and the summer meet-up) is getting closer. And as tiring as the day might be, it's nice to know that I can get sometime for myself once I get home in the evening.
28 - Sometimes the solution is just granting yourself some relax: couch, chips and a Harry Potter movie.
Richard of May 8th is a friend of mine from England (and possible love interest... but not exactly sure... )
Federico of May 17th is not the same Federico of May 26th... The first is a person who works at the bank where I work, and the Forecast is an application that I developed for him. The second is one of my friends, with whom I like to chat about cultural stuff.
All other people mentioned are HPFT-ers and I don't think anything else needs special explainations, so... that's all, folks! See you at the end of July!
So, June was the hardest month I've had this year.
Welcome back to my blog, and strap in, friends, because this one is going to get emotional.
The beginning of the month was pretty good. I went to two different weddings, in New Mexico and Puerto Rico, and they were both wonderful. I spent time with friends and relaxed a bit since my job ended at the end of May. Then the second half of the month came, and with it all of the emotions of packing up our home and getting ready to move away from a place we loved and all the friends we made there.
After almost three years, 1077 days, my partner and I are done with our time in Boston. If you've never been there, I highly recommend it. It was such a wonderful place to start our life together after college, and we really grew to love it. I could never have expected that, to be honest, because it was so much different from the Rocky Mountain region and the Midwest where I'd spent most of my life before moving to Boston. At first, those differences made me hate it, but that changed and now I don't know what I'll do without it.
It was a place that gave me and my partner our first real home together, our kitty baby Gumbo, my Master's degree, and so many friends that I'll never stop missing. The last three years blessed me with so many talented, intelligent, funny, compassionate, caring, accepting, unique, fantastic people. They made Boston home. And I'm absolutely devastated to leave them. So on Thursday night when I saw Boston below me as I flew away, it was the most difficult moment of my year. It was so, so hard to say goodbye.
I'm facing so many endings right now, but the next beginning is still months away. I'm spending the summer in Florida with my grandpa, helping him out around the house and tackling some projects for him. Brady is off visiting his own family and studying for the bar exam. Then we have a brief vacation road-trip together at the beginning of August. Then we're looking for a lease in our new home city for September 1st. So for now, I'm in limbo.
I'm sorry for being so absent this month. It was hard to juggle HPFT along with all the other things happening in my life. I'm back now, but I'm still emotionally distant, unfortunately. I still haven't fully coped with all these changes. Gumbo and I are safe in Florida, but my heart is still in an empty apartment in a suburb of Boston, surrounded by memories and silence. There's a weight that hasn't quite lifted.
I promise I'll be back to full functioning on here as soon as I can. Just know that I love you all and I love the site, even when I'm quieter than usual. Wish me luck this summer. I'll need it with all the changes I'm facing. And as always, thank you for reading.
everyday i tell myself that i'm going to make more of an effort to be more present and active on the forums and like interact with people. and everyday i am fully aware that i'm lying to myself. what ends up happening is that i'm usually present for like a week, maybe 2 if i'm really making an effort, and then i just drop off the face of the planet. or at least the interwebs.
and it's frustrating.
in the brief period that i am on the forums, i become familiar with peoples usernames and their stories and what they have going on to a certain degree. figuring out who has come from other websites etc etc. and then i disappear. sometimes school starts, sometimes something happens and i completely forget about the forums, so that by the time it does occur to me to check back in, school has started, and i no longer have time. it's a vicious cycle. and to be very honest, if i'm not checking on the forums, usually all fanfiction production pretty much comes to a halt. the only time that anything actually gets written for any story is if i'm surrounded by other people who are also working on their story and it puts me into the Writing Mood™.
but anyway back to my main point. i disappear off of the forums until the following year where i tell myself around exam season that during the summer i'm going to be more present and interact with everyone more. and then of course i never do. and when i finally do come on the forums and see what is up, there's a whole buttload of new people and everyone has already become acquainted with each other and knows each other and there's a bunch of inside jokes and i'm just over here like
and all i know is that that could've been me if i ever bothered to show up on the forums or posted in any topics or provided during the house cup activities. and then i take time and become reacquainted with who is who ... and then i disappear again.
rinse and repeat.
while i'm at it does anyone ever have this struggle where they're really introverted but at the same time they enjoy talking to people and hanging out but they're also too lazy to respond to messages so they just kind of ignore them until you actually end up forgetting.
on a side note completely unrelated to this is that i recently finished reading Obsidio which is the last book in the illuminae files trilogy and i don't know if anyone else has read it but if you're looking for something to read this is a really good series to read. it has so many plot twists and it constantly keeps you on edge, not to mention there's a really diverse cast of characters and it also takes place in space.
so today i made the executive decision to let my friend beta read my fanfiction.
now, i'm sure all of you have experienced this at some point, but it's like an unspoken rule that you just never tell anyone that you know in real life that you write fanfiction, and you especially don't tell them where to find it or let them read it. i have broken that rule.
you see, after, i don't even know, something like, six or seven, maybe more, years i finally have decided to begin working on this work in progress that i started when i was like 15 or something. it was the second novel that i had ever worked on. and this fic had had a beta reader on another site but because i haven't updated in so long, and i'm especially bad at responding to people who i don't interact with every day, and a bunch of other factors, we haven't really contacted each other. it's safe to assume that she's probably not working on the fic with me, for reasons other than i just fell out of touch (maybe she's not writing fanfiction anymore, maybe she forgot about me, who knows really) but the first 5 or 6 chapters have been beta read and it feels somehow wrong to not have the rest of the story beta read as well.
and this friend, i love her to death, i trust her with everything, i'm not afraid of being made fun of or anything like that, but it's still weird. because no one has read my fanfiction before, at least no one i know. and even though i know that i'm not going to be made fun of for writing this stuff, it still gives that little bit of anxiety, because what if.
i don't even think it's the content that i'm writing that gives me some anxiety anymore, it's just having people actually read my work. i love getting critique on how to improve and all, but nobody wants to be told that they're terrible and they suck, especially not by someone that they know.
this honestly sounds like a big mess, i don't really know how to properly express what i'm feeling at this moment, and going back this reads like an unorganized mess. but tl;dr, it's a new experience and feeling allowing someone i know to actually read my work.
Hellooo, everyone! Pride Month is still going on (and we've dressed the header up for the occassion, as you can probably tell, to make up for the lack of rainbows last post ), which was why we decided to feature the iconic Simon Spier from Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda and/or Love, Simon! Anyway, without further ado, we'd like to get straight into the interviews with your fellow featured HPFTers; hopefully their interviews will make you smile a little today.
This month, the all-amazing toomanycurls was awarded the Order of Merlin. She's just such an amazing admin and does so much for this site. We hope you enjoy reading her interview!
And now here are the interviews with this month's two Head Students, ShadowRose and starbuck! Both of them have been amazing the past month, and so the recognition is so well-deserved.
an absence of sound
R E V I E W C O L U M N
Reading an absence of sound is, honestly, an honor.
The mechanics of the poem itself make it an honor to read; it showcases Eva's creativity and ingenuinity, especially with the idea to manipulate the words, slowly removing letters to depict the gradual loss of the ability to speak (in Eva's case) Mandarin. But the greater reason why I'm so honored to read an absence of sound is because of how deeply emotional and vulnerable it is. At the surface, it seems to discuss a rather specific sort of feeling: the feeling of loss associated with the gradual loss of ability to speak one's native language. This feeling may not be accessible to everyone in the HPFT community, but if you look deeper, you'll find that the poem, in truth, discusses a sort of loss that everyone can relate to. It is a raw depiction of the loss of one's connection to their ancestry, their homeland, their family, etc.—presented through the lens of the loss of the ability to speak the native language. Considering this deeper layer, now the dropping of the letters isn't simply a reflection of the inability to speak the language, but also a disconnect from one's personal history and the gradual fading away of our memories of our homeland; Eva masterfully depicts the resulting frustration with a connection that is simultaneously "there right-there" and just "translucent wisps".
Part of what amazes me about this poem is that this feeling in itself is so hard to describe; I personally have always struggled to put into words the unique grief I associate with the loss of my connection to India and have thus been silent about it. Eva describes perfectly this feeling that I've been trying to describe for years now. Also, it takes a really special sort of bravery to share such a raw and true piece, and that in itself deserves a commendation.
Also a final note: this poem is a reflection of Eva's versatility. She is able to write poems and short stories (and now multi-chaps) with such effortless grace. Honestly, I'm just amazed. If you haven't read it yet, go read it now!! It is so deserving to be SoTM.
I N T E R V I E W W I T H T H E A U T H OR
That wraps up this edition of In the Spotlight, guys! We hope you enjoyed reading these interviews and little extra pieces; they're always so much fun to compile! As always, thank you for reading, and we hope you enjoyed this!
- The Prefects
review column by forever_dreaming
interviews compiled by just.a.willow.tree, Rumpelstiltskin
questions by forever_dreaming, just.a.willow.tree, and Rumpelstiltskin
graphics by just.a.willow.tree
I’m the girl who plays it safe. I dislike change and fear the unknown. I like for things be as much within MY control as possible...
Which is probably why I’m still working at the first place I got hired on at, right out of college, even though my boss is intolerable and I really do hate the work environment sometimes. But getting a new job, starting my career all over at a new place, is too much unknown territory for me to explore right now. I’m tied up in a car payment for the next 2 years, I have other obligations and bills that have to be paid, and I know for a fact that where I’m at now will cover everything… So why make a change that might lead to financial instability?
This also (partially) explains why I haven’t really stepped out my my comfort zone and taken any chances with any of the romantic interests that have come my way over the past 5 years now. Dating is unpredictable, after all. Why would I ever want to put my happiness and emotional vulnerability in the hands of someone else? I am perfectly independent and able to take care of myself. I have embraced my singleness, and I am genuinely happy on my own right now… So why take a risk on love if it could potentially end in ruin?
Don’t ask me why my mind works like this. I have such a bad habit of always jumping to the worst of conclusions, no matter how unrealistic or illogical they may seem.
I currently work 3 jobs (1 full-time, and 2 part-time) in addition to helping out with the site; which is honestly more like a hobby/escape for me, really. Y’all truly do help keep me sane when RL gets to be too crazy, lol!! But, like, I haven’t had a proper vacation since I went to Georgia back in March of 2008. (Not that this trip is going to be a Vacation, exactly. But it's getting me away from work. Away from home. Away from the Country, even! So I'd say that it counts as a type of Vaycay, in it's own way.)
You see, I’ve always been the one who works for everything that I have. My family wasn’t exactly poor, per-say, but we certainly knew from a young age what it meant to go without. Being the oldest, my parents were harder on me than they were the other kids, and it pushed me to be this driven individual that I am now... I am still the only one of my 6 other siblings who went to College and got any sort of degree. But that’s because I learned from the time that I was old enough to hold a job (which is now the age of 15 here in OH) that if I wanted something, I was going to have to work for it. Nearly everything I own, I’ve worked for. (My car, gaming systems, all of my furniture, my clothes/shoes, etc..) Nothing in my life has ever been handed to me... And I LIKE my independence. I enjoy being able to help myself, and not having to ask anyone for anything. Because you can’t control other people. You can’t tell them what to do, or how to act. You can try, but that doesn’t mean they’ll listen to you, lol!!
So why, oh WHY, in the world, did I ever volunteer myself to go on this Missions Trip to Honduras?!?!?
I’ve never traveled out of the country before - I barely ever even leave my own State! So I’ve certainly never gone on a missions trip before. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE to help!! I am just NOT the person who usually signs up for these things. There are better, more qualified people out there; who are probably better suited and more able to handle the work that is involved in Missions than me. Or at least that’s what I’ve always told myself…
So what could possibly make things so different this time around???
I don’t have any kids of my own yet. And honestly, at this point, Idk if I ever will. After all, I am far too busy with my career to settle down and start a family right now… But that doesn’t mean that the desire for these things is not in my heart. So when the representative from One Child Matters came to speak at my church in March of this year, I made another crazy decision - I sponsored a little girl from Honduras!! Her name is Angie, she is now 6 years old (her Birthday is April 1st - the same day as Fred & George Weasley!!), she loves art, and she wants to be a teacher when she grows up!! She calls me her Godmother.
Never in my life have I ever thought that one tiny decision to put someone that I didn’t even know - some family in another country even - ahead of myself even, could impact me in such a HUGE and meaningful way… And when I found out that my church was planning a Missions Trip to the One Child Matters center that Angie attends in September, naturally I signed up to be a part of the team without even thinking, lol! I was just so excited at the very thought of getting to meet my little Angie face-to-face, and having the opportunity to see her hometown, and experience her culture, and meet all of her other friends at the OCM Center in Tegucigalpa, Honduras!!! Why wouldn't I go? She’s counting on me to be there, after all. And who knows when I’ll get this opportunity again - it could be a few years before they plan another trip like this.
But going on a Missions Trip... It is a LOT of work!!!! And I’ll admit, I was not prepared in the slightest for half of the things that have been asked of me so far.
So if I’ve seemed distant, or even more crazy than usual; it’s just because I’m juggling a ton of uncomfortable uncertainties at the moment. I am being pulled out of my comfort zone, and there are so many variables that are beyond my control at the moment, and I am just such a mess!! (And I shall continue to reserve the right to be a hot mess for the remainder of the summer, until all of these fundraising shenanigans are over with, lol!!) I will definitely be sure to keep you guys updated/in the loop as the summer goes on though, and the trip gets closer. And I’ll even be sure to post updates during/after the trip as well!! (Although the during part may actually depend on how much internet access we have available to us while in Honduras.)
- And now, for my 1st official Update: I have completed ALL of my official paperwork, background check is completed, and I am currently in the process of getting my first ever US Passport! Our biggest funding deadline is also coming up here within the next three days, and I am still $300 dollars away from the total needed goal… Our trip leader wants to book all of our plane tickets and hotel rooms this coming weekend, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that everyone on the team reaches their $700 goals by this Wednesday. If anyone here wishes to partner with me on this journey, do feel free to find me on Social Media, where I have a few fundraising pages setup at!! (There are also pictures of my adorable sponsored child, Angie, posted on Twitter & Facebook as well!!)
I am super excited to share this adventure with all of my friends and family, as it’s probably the biggest thing I’ve ever done in my life!! Thank you all so much for your amazing love and support. You guys have helped me see that the World isn’t such a scary place, and it deserves to be explored more. This community has really helped me grow and step outside of my comfort zone more and more over the past year, and I am so thankful to all of you for that. I shall carry you all with me on my travels.
Recently, my mind has been in a bit of a disarray.
A large part of it is because I'm at this precipice in my life where lots of changes are happening very quickly. My family and I just moved into a new house after living in the same apartment for ten years. I'm going to head off to college in the fall, 500 miles away from my twin sister, and I've never been apart from her for more than a couple days. My brother's moving in July for his new job. And there's just the general instability that comes with depression, plus my natural discomfort with big changes. (I think everyone is a little afraid of big changes. Humans are rather complacent creatures in that way).
Whenever I'm feeling so disarrayed, I like to fall back on science.
I'm sure some of you don't see science and math as very comforting hahaha. For me, science and math are concrete and stable; they're distanced enough from emotion that I can use them to process my feelings in a sort of calm and rational manner—which is what I'm going to attempt to do in this post. I'm keeping the science and math jargon very simple, but if I'm being honest, the ideas I'm presenting here are very intuitive, so I don't think anyone will have any trouble following along. I realize that it might be a bit boring for people who aren't as STEM-oriented, so I've included some really pretty gifs and images to entertain you
In my English class this year, I read a fantastic play by Tom Stoppard called Arcadia. Arcadia is about... many things, but one of the topics it discusses is iterated algorithms.
I think the phrase "iterated algorithm" is another example of Scientists Making Things Sound Unnecessarily Complicated, so I'll break it down. The word "algorithm" has been convoluted so much by Scientists Making Things Sound Unncessarily Complicated; we've forgotten how to define it in simplistic terms because our view is completely clouded by computer scientists going insane with all sorts of crazy formulas. In very simple terms, an algorithm is just a series of step—a procedure. Generally algorithms are supposed to solve problems, but I have a sort of algorithm for procrastinating on homework, so that's certainly not always the case The word "iterated" is probably much more familiar to everyone. In conjunction, an iterated algorithm is just a series of steps that continuously repeats, or a cycle, where what you get out, you put back in.
Here's a very simple example of an iterated algorithm, written in functional notation:
fn+1 = fn + fn-1, n > 2, f0 = 0, f1 = 1
That's an example of Mathematicians Making Things Look Unnecessary Complicated. All that notation means is that in the sequence, every term is the sum of the two terms before it. (I probably could've just written that, but I really love functional notation. That's a post for another day, though.)
If you're unfamiliar with the sequence, it goes like this:
f0 = 0
f1 = 1
f2 = 1
f3 = 2
f4 = 3
The sequence should be coming together now—if you've never seen it before, this sequence is called the Fibonacci Sequence, and it's a pretty famous seqeunce. If you plot it, it sort of looks like this:
Remarkably, this pattern is found everywhere in nature: in the spiral of a sunflower, in the petals of a rose, in the shape of the Milky Way, in your face—the list goes on! (Sidenote: this (Youtube, so M) is a really cool video describing how to find Fibonacci spirals in pinecones!)
If you ever needed proof that science is magical, you don't need to look further than the Fibonacci sequence. I find there's some beauty in the fact that all these different objects in nature can be united by a sequence—a very simple sequence too, if you recall the functional notation. That's kind of amazing—and really comforting, that amidst all the complexity and mess in my life, there's something that can be as simple and beautiful as the Fibonacci sequence.
But the Fibonacci sequence is just one example of an iterated algorithm. There's so many others, and I'd just like to highlight a few others (with more pretty pictures!).
There's this misconception that math can't be beautiful (bah!) and I'm here to forever dispel that idea. My evidence: fractals!
if you don't know what a fractal is, here's an example:
(Let's be honest—you cannot objectively say that that isn't absolutely beautiful.)
Fractals are geometric curves that are "self-similar" across all scales, which means that if you were to zoom into that image, you'd see the same pattern. That means that it's cyclical, a never-ending pattern—which means that fractals are created by iterated algorithms. Each iteration of the algorithm plots a new point, and with enough points, you get a pretty image. The below gif demonstrates this with a fractal called the Koch snowflake. The gif demonstrates how to draw it, but the simple algorithm is this: you draw an equilateral triangle. Then, on each side, draw another, smaller equiltateral triangle, with the side of the original as its base. Then repeat with each new equilateral triangle. With enough iterations, you'll get something that resembles a snowflake! (You should try drawing it, it's super easy and requires no artistic talent whatsoever!)
In the center of the first fractal image is one of my favorite fractals; it's called the Mandelbrot set. I'm always a little amused when I see it because it sort of resembles a snowman with little baby hands, heh. The gif below demonstrates the "self-similar" aspect of the Mandlebrot set:
The equation for the Mandelbrot set is the following:
zn+1 = zn2 + C, where z0 = C and C is the number of points in the complex plane for which the orbit of zn+1 does not tend to infinity
Erm.... yeah, I would try to translate that, but I don't fully understand it myself. It's rather complex (haha, math pun!). But the beauty of iterated algorithms is that the exact equation doesn't really matter. The process for drawing it is still the same. You take an x-value, plug it into the equation, and then plot the y-value. Then you take your y-value and set that as your new x-value, and repeat the process on and on. All that changes is the equation in the middle—it can be as simple as the equation for the Fibonacci sequence, or as complicated as the above equation for the Mandelbrot set. The below gif demonstrates how the Mandelbrot set is created:
With enough iterations, the image of the Mandelbrot set becomes clearer and clearer—just like with the Koch snowflake, demonstrating that this process really is universal.
The thing about the Mandelbrot set, and the Koch snowflake, is that there's a limitation to how many iterations you can go through by hand. If you tried to draw out the Koch snowflake, you'd quickly run into a space problem that would thus limit the number of iterations that you can do. The Mandelbrot set has a similar complexity problem; it didn't become clearly defined until the 1950s, when computers started taking off and suddenly humans had much more power in their hands.
Sometimes, this idea is really frustrating to me. Iterated algorithms are supposed to be never-ending—they are supposed to be inherently limitless. But that's all theoretically. Nothing bears out in practice what it promises incipiently—there's always factors beyond our control. As a scientist, this is unbearingly frustrating; can you imagine running an experiment knowing that there were factors you couldn't control that could possibly invalidate all of your findings? As a human, this is unbearingly frustrating. I've always struggled to come to term with the fact that free will is, honestly, a bit of an illusion; anything could happen anytime, and even if I don't meet my untimely demise in the next week, there's always the ominous promise of an inescapable death. There's always that thought in the back of my head that there just isn't enough time—which makes all the changes I'm experiencing at the moment all the more terrifying.
It's okay, though—iterated algorithms are slowly helping me to come to terms with the spontaneity and disorder of life and how much is generally beyond my control.
Think of it this way: beyond the realm of STEM, what other processes emulate iterated algorithms?
I started to think about this and was amazed by the number of things I could think of. In Arcadia, the final scene features a waltz between the characters—the waltz is a perfect example of an iterated algorithm. You start off where you end, and continue, seamlessly, gracefully. On a larger scope, isn't history a sort of an iterated algorithm? After all, history repeats itself. This phrase is often used as negatively, as a warning. "Great, the Nazis are back again—history really does repeat itself." But I think that there's some sort of comfort to be found in this idea, too, that things that are lost are bound to turn up again because history repeats itself. There might not be enough time in my life, but everything I discover and learn and experience will be picked up by future generations, and the search for meaning will continue.
This also means that change isn't final—because you can always retrace the algorithm. Everything I've lost isn't actually lost; it's just hiding somewhere in the algorithm. This gives me comfort as a means of fighting the impermanence of life.
So, I guess, that begs the question of what to do now, in my life at this exact moment, where so many things are spiraling and so many uncontrollable forces are acting on me.
I think that all that's left to do is keep on iterating. Keep drawing, and keep looking for the larger pattern, the beauty in what I'm creating—and keep trusting that a greater pattern will indeed emerge.
I didn't mean to get so nihilistic at the end and I think this post also spiraled out of control at some point. This is my near-midnight brain talking now, haha. I hope some of this was entertaining/interesting/hopefully also comforting to any of you, and would love to hear your thoughts. Do you know of any other iterated algorithms? (Remember: broaden your mind. They're everywhere.) Do you have general advice for dealing with lots of monumental changes happening very quickly? Does anyone else find comfort like this in math and science, or am I just weird? Did you like the pretty pictures?!
(...okay, I'm shutting up now. Thanks for reading. <3)
dreams: a world of nonsense
I'm a very vivid dreamer.
Always have been and I hopefully always will be.
I have a distinct memory of describing a dream to a friend when I was twelve years old and how she lamented that the most exciting thing that she'd dreamt about was falling down the stairs. There I was recounting an action-packed plot where my family was escaping town to avoid war and I suddenly realised we'd left my little sister behind so I threw myself out of the car and ran back for her, but couldn't escape in time so we were hiding in the walls of a block of terrace houses while we waited out the soldiers - but I digress.
Point is it didn't occur to me that not everyone dreams such vivid dreams. Many of mine have appealed to me so much that I've tried to make them into stories albeit a lot more coherent and logical. I mean, I failed, but that's not the point.
To be honest, I find dreams to be really fascinating. I've seen facts in the past that state some people don't dream in any colour and others that say you're completely paralysed while dreaming. I find that one to be pretty cool actually. Your body's locked down while your mind is racing at a mile a minute.
All this thinking about dreams was inspired by two I had last night, or what I remember of them anyways. I've been considering making a blog on HPFT for a while now as a way to be more active in the community, but my unoriginal butt couldn't think of anything until now. (Hi, by the way! I'm Plums if you don't know - which you probably don't tbh because I am a well-seasoned Lurker who just hangs about for a bit until I come out for like two minutes to chat lmao.) If I'm being really honest with myself, this is all an elaborate way to let me talk about my dreams because my sisters are too busy doing unproductive things with their time like revising for exams or socialising. Pfft. Honestly.
Anyways, DREAM ONE:
I'm pretty sure this one was inspired by my sister showing me Blackpink's latest comeback, but basically I was part of this talent competition where the winning group would debut as part of the next big band. I managed to make a deal with five other people as per the rules to form a group and the entire dream was about us struggling to make it through the competition. One of the managers/judges was really supportive throughout the entire process as we learnt some intense choreography, made some pretty humiliating public appearances and trained our voices... only to vote against us in the final round and tell us that was just how cutthroat the industry was.
Really, the highlight of the dream was one of my fellow members responding with this pretty amazing retort that I sadly cannot quote as it includes mature language, but we had to make a break for it afterwards lol
This was one was more action-packed. In the dream, I was this Elizabeth Swann-esque character who had run away from home with a bunch of pirates. Somewhere along the way, we managed to anger the most notorious pirate gang on the seas - I think we were after the same treasure? I can't remember, but it all culminated in this insane battle on a stormy sea where NPG (Notorious Pirate Gang) nearly won, but we managed to turn it all around in the nth hour. Tbh my most vivid memory from this dream is swordfighting with a bunch of the NPG and then turning around to see the Captain of the NPG land on the captain's deck at which point I grabbed a rope to swing myself around and kick him in the chest so he went flying down to the deck below. The guy tried to kill me afterwards, but it was well worth it to be frank
Anyways those were my dreams from last night. To make this entire thing less about me: what are some of the dreams you have all had? Are your dreams ever really vivid and complex? Do you have any recurring dreams? Can you lucid dream? I would genuinely love to know <3
First blog post woohoo
I was just wondering how people experience thinking. For me, thinking is exactly like talking, only silent. This has an impact when writing as I have no picture whatsoever of my characters or any of the settings. It also means that things like the battle scenes in Harry Potter make little sense to me and I tend to just skim them and wait for Dumbledore to sum up the important parts.
So just wondering how it works for other people.
Yeah, so this is a little late. Shut up. Nobody's perfect.
(Except you, Toothless, dear.)
You might notice things look a little different from last month, and that's because I've been hard at work creating a book blog where I can live and squee all day about the stories I read. Hopefully it'll be ready to go next month, but for now, here are the books I read in May! Some are quite brief because full, detailed reviews will be on the blog.
Tom's Inheritance | T.J. Green
When his grandfather disappears, Tom travels into a magical world to find him. He meets the Lady of the Lake who tells him of his responsibility to wake King Arthur before darkness falls over the land.
I had high expectations for this book that weren't met, but it is in no way a bad story. Although it reads more like middle grade and not young adult as advertised, and King Arthur only makes a short appearance late in the book, it's a fun, magical journey. Fairies and fantastical creatures add a unique twist on a familiar legend.
The Dreadful Tale of Prosper Redding | Alexandra Bracken
Young Prosper Redding has a demon living inside him, a demon who wants to destroy Prosper's family. Prosper only has a few days to break the curse, and in the meantime he has to put up with the demon's taunts and tricks.
An insanely funny read with memorable characters. The writing is so witty and clever and engaging. It was fun and delightfully creepy. Full review to come.
A Court of Wings and Ruin | Sarah J. Maas
As Hybern brings war to Prythian, Feyre must decide who among the courts she can trust, and search for allies in unexpected places.
I enjoy this series even though there are a lot of elements that annoy me. This is a lengthy book and some parts felt unnecessary, or at least unnecessarily long. It's probably petty of me, but a lot of words are repeated throughout not only this book but the series in general. There's only so many times someone can purr, snarl, refer to their significant other as their mate, or curl their toes in their boots before I'm rolling my eyes. I never feel connected to Feyre, I feel she has zero personality. But there is still something magical that I love about this series. The world is vast, and I like the animalistic behaviour of the fairies, I think it's unique and realistic. The war was an epic conclusion and I'm eager to find out how the story continues!
This Savage Song | V.E. Schwab
Kate Harker is a monster hunter. August Flynn is a monster. Heirs to a divided city, they are forced together under dire circumstances and try to use their positions to save their city.
I love monsters (and I mean that in the most un-creepy way possible). This book is beautifully dark with expertly-crafted characters. Full review to come.
Divergent | Veronica Roth
Tris Prior's world is divided by factions based on valued attributes. Never feeling like she belonged with the selfless Abnegation, Tris chooses Dauntless during initiation, the faction that values bravery.
This story is set in a unique, interesting world with a main character who isn't even likeable at times, which I love. It feels more like a set-up for the other two books, but was still action-packed and intense. Full review to come.
Son of the Dawn |Cassandra Clare
Say what you will about making money, but I will devour anything Cassandra Clare writes about the Shadowhunters. Being a short story, there isn't too much happening, but I read it while having a coffee, so it was a super enjoyable way of spending my time. I like how we saw Jace being accepted into the Lightwood family, and I loved seeing him as a child, how arrogant he was even then.
Daughter of the Siren Queen | Tricia Levenseller
Now that Alosa has all three pieces of the map to the sirens' treasure, she begins a deadly race to the mysterious and dangerous Isla de Canta.
This is a fun, fast conclusion to a fantastic duology that deserves so much more recognition. It's a perfect pirate adventure with a little bit of magic in the sirens. Full review to come. 5 stars.
Our Dark Duet | V.E. Schwab
Set six months after This Savage Song, Kate discovers a new kind of monster with devastating effects. Not only must Kate defeat this monster, but she also needs to come face to face with her own demon.
Much more fast-paced - and heartbreaking - than its predecessor, this book had me glued to its pages then ripped me to shreds. BUT SO GOOD. IT'S GOOD. I'M GOOD. Full review to come. 5 stars.
A Court of Frost and Starlight | Sarah J. Maas
Feyre and the gang work to rebuild after the war as well as prepare for the Winter Solstice.
A light, quick read where not a lot happens, but it's a welcome relief after the intensity of A Court of Wings and Ruin. Full review to come.
I Was Born For This | Alice Oseman
Angel is boy band The Ark's biggest fan. Jimmy is their frontman. Reality is not something either are familiar with, and when they are unexpectedly thrust together, they discover just how real life can be.
This was the YA Room's book of the month, and I found it addicting and so relatable, but with a few minor issues. Full review to come.
June brings holidays and winter my way, so talons crossed it's filled with snuggly blankets and good books and the mulled wine I got a taste for last week and have been craving ever since. May the book fairies bless your June with many page-turning exercises.
Content warning for mention of suicide
Click the spoiler tag to read the post. I don't talk about suicide in any depth, but I do mention it in the broader context of depression and little things individuals can do to help people who are depressed.
I also want to mention that we all have shit to grapple with; these are just things I wanted to mention that could be good to do if you can do them. I'm not in any way advocating giving more of yourself than you want and/or are able to give; once it starts to take a toll on you, it's not a little thing for you anymore, either.
Everyone, it's Pride Month!
This month, the prefects wanted to celebrate as many stories (written by both published authors and writers from our very own archives!) featuring queer characters as possible. These stories should really be featured all year, but we figured Pride Month was a good time to list our favorites. We also wanted to try something slightly different this month, where we asked queer members of HPFT to write their own personal stories, and we want to thank you guys so, so much for submitting them. If you still want to write a piece for our blog post, just PM @just.a.willow.tree and we can always edit it into the post!
Also, quick shoutout to HPFT, because today's HPFT's birthday! This community has been amazing, and a huge thank you to all the staffers who make it happen. <3
Without further ado, here are our recs (featuring commentary from the prefect that rec'd them)! All stories are listed alphabetically by title.
There are so many amazing, amazing books out there about queer characters, and since we're a writing community, we thought we'd share these first. This barely scratches the surface of LGBTQA+ stories, but it's definitely a good starting point. And these books are all amazing and meaningful, we can't recommend them enough!
(All book links are to Goodreads, so the M rating isn't necessarily for the book but for the comments within the Goodreads sections.)
A Boy Worth Knowing (M) by Jennifer Cosgrove (rec'd by Claire)
This is the absolute cutest progression of a relationship I have ever read. I love that Nate’s attraction to James is never played as the reason he’s isolated himself and their relationship is built on a genuine friendship that would make anyone happy.
The Abyss Surrounds Us (M) by Emily Skrutskie (rec'd by Claire)
Sea monsters and lesbian pirates. Do I need to say much more?? (Though if I’m being honest, the queer storyline is extremely secondary to the sea monster and pirates storyline but both are still amazing).
Autoboyography (M) by Christina Lauren (rec'd by Claire)
Have you ever changed the name of a character halfway through a book and just thought “I’ll just do a find and replace later, it’ll be fine”? Reading this book might make you think twice about that And not only that, but Lauren weaves together so many different issues seamless and will have you rooting for ___ from the very beginning.
History is All You Left Me (M) by Adam Silvera (rec'd by Claire)
Not only is this book an emotional rollercoaster, it is also a masterclass in narrative structure. The story is told non-linearly through two different time periods and will have you begging for more from the first page.
If I Was Your Girl (M) by Meredith Russo (rec'd by Claire)
Listen, this book grabs you right in the heart and refuses to let go. I read this almost six months ago and it still hits me just as hard as it did then. All of the characters are so raw and real and I promise that you will fall in love with all of them...well, almost all (Just a heads up that this book does deal with some very serious topics and themes so be aware if you do choose to read it.)
Leah on the Offbeat (M) by Becky Albertalli (rec'd by Claire)
I say this with the utmost love and respect--this is the fanfiction sequel of your dreams. Leah is just as amazingly perfect as she is in Simon and where else can you get a mainstream book with a fat bi protagonist??? Also, no spoilers but...road trip AU of my dreams.
Let's Talk About Love (M) by Claire Kann (rec'd by Claire)
I can honestly say that I have never read a book with an ace protagonist, much less a black bi ace protagonist. While I’m not necessarily recommending this for the writing, as someone on the ace spectrum it is a breath of fresh air to read a book and be able to say “yes, I know what that feels like.”
More Happy Than Not (M) by Adam Silvera (rec'd by Claire)
Do you like sci-fi? Do you like plot twists? Do you like crying non-stop for days because Adam Silvera ripped your heart out yet again? Then this is the book for you! I can’t recommend this highly enough. Adam is a genius when it comes to building up tension and foreshadowing and you will be gasping out loud when you come to the big reveal!
Openly Straight (M) by Bill Konigsberg (rec'd by Claire)
I’ll be honest, I was hesitant about this book when I first picked it up, but I ended up loving it dearly! It’s a super interesting take on the coming out story and though I wanted to smack Rafe upside the head a few times, his story and Ben’s are ones that carry a lot of weight.
Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda (M) by Becky Albertalli (rec'd by Claire)
I don’t know what I can say about this book that hasn’t already been said a million times before. Please please please go read it.
They Both Die at the End (M) by Adam Silvera (rec'd by Claire)
Like all of Adam’s books, this will have you ugly crying in bed at 3am because you just can’t put it down. He weaves together so many narratives that will have you gasping in awe as you realize how they all fit in.
Our very own authors are so talented, so how could we not rec as many as we could? Since a lot of you have read the more well-known fics with queer characters already, we aimed to show you our favorites that you may not have yet read.
Abby Freaking Suso by clairevergreen/@clevernotbrilliant [Simon] (rec'd by Rumpels)
A story about slowly progressing desire and self-realization, Abby Freaking Suso is wonderfully sarcastic and all-around charming. Leah’s characterization is handled in such a brilliant way and I love how slowly the relationship changed over time to become absolutely everything.
Dreams of Glass (M) by @nott theodore [HP] (rec'd by Rumpels)
Like all of Sian’s work, this is beautifully written (and I mean stunning, I have no idea how to write imagery quite like this). I’ve always been a sucker for Gellert/Albus but this one had me shook. The amount of feelings evoked from this piece is incredible and I highly, highly, highly recommend this.
Eyes Like Skies by @FireOpal [HP] (rec'd by Eva)
Dominique, in this story, speaks to her love Imogen, and everything about this just reads as a beautiful, poetic love letter. It feels so personal, and really, that’s such an amazing thing to accomplish in writing fic.
Half Dead by @facingthenorthwind [HP] (rec'd by Rumpels)
This is the sequel to two certainties, which if you haven’t read that emotional rollercoaster, you definitely should, (see also: My poor, poor heart, the Sequel.) It’s a wonderful continuation of two certainties and I can’t imagine a way to possibly make this writing better. On top of being extremely well-written, it’s so much fun to read and I absolutely ADORED it. Careful though, it’ll continue to break your heart in the best way.
in the dawn, we shall enter the splendid cities. (M) by @Aphoride [Les Mis] (rec'd by Eva)
As we all know, Laura is a complete goddess at descriptions. The beauty with which she paints each individual scene, and the development of the relationship between Grantaire and Enjolras, is just absolutely breathtaking. This is not a romance in the typical sense, but it is well, well, well worth a read.
Life Reflected in Death (M) by M C Crocker/@scooterbug8515 [HP] (rec'd by Rumpels)
Insta-headcanon material. This does some wonderful character exploration on Regulus Black in the most brutally devastating way. It reveals much more about Regulus than I typically see explored and shows how much things like his sexuality have impacted him in his life.
Lingering by @banshee [Simon] (rec'd by Eva)
So I’m not including a summary here because if you haven’t yet read Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, you’re going to get spoiled. So, go and read Simon, and then come back to this fic, because it’s like Julie pulled these characters straight from the book. They’re adorable and so relatable, and their dialogue is everything.
Peppermint (M) by @sapphicsunrise [HP] (rec'd by Eva)
This Ginny/Luna one-shot is short and adorable. Every second is filled with something that can warm your heart (including a hilarious appearance from the most canon non-canon duo, Seamus and Dean), and just watching Ginny and Luna drifting closer together will make your day.
Something (M) by @Chelts-rhj [HP] (rec'd by Rumpels)
Let’s be honest, when am I not impressed by this author’s writing? Something is a beautifully written piece about Dominique Weasley and a woman she positively adores. It tackles the heavy topic of eating disorders and the struggle Dominique faces while watching that woman struggle. Everything about this is handled so well and I cannot get over how deeply this piece moved me.
Stolen Away (M) by @MegGonagall [HP] (rec'd by Eva)
What I absolutely adore about this fic is how it’s told from fugitive Sirius Black’s perspective. He remembers the joy and emotion from his past with Remus, and it’s that longing that really makes this fic so good. Meg did an amazing job with this!
Unstoppable by @sihaya [HP] (rec'd by Eva)
Short and sweet, this one-shot shows a short moment in the lives of Albus and Scorpius as they deliberate coming out to their families, and there’s just so much hope and honesty in these 740 words that you can’t help but feel touched.
Until the End of the World by @Stella Blue [Legend of Korra] (rec'd by Eva)
Fans of Legend of Korra, this is just for you. (However, I read this even though I’ve never watched the series, and I still loved it.) Every moment of this fic is pure fluff and happy, magical goodness, and you will be rewarded with depictions of a gorgeous world and a gorgeous couple.
Your Way of Living (M) by @Dojh167 [HP] (rec'd by Eva)
If you’ve ever read Sam’s beautiful When I Go Out With You, you will love this short one-shot that details Susan’s moments where she first embraces herself as a poly person. (It features Luna, too!) And even if you haven’t read WIGOWY, you should read this one-shot anyway. It’s such a beautiful, eye-opening look at polyamory.
And of course there are other stories that we want to recommend that may not fall under books or fics!
Check, Please! (M for language) [comic] (rec'd by Eva)
Eric Bittle is guaranteed to brighten up your day, with his abundant usage of Southern colloquialisms and his adorable obsession with baking, as he navigates being on a men’s hockey team (despite being scared to death of…bumping into other people). This story, while not perfect, is heartwarming and honest and true, with bright and beautiful graphics, and you will not regret reading this! (I binged this all at 3 a.m., if that accounts for anything. )
Fallout Series [video games] (rec'd by Rumpels)
Many video games have been increasingly adding LGBTQA+ characters and integrating player-led romances. Games in the Fallout series, a series of post-apocalyptic action role-playing games, have always been leading the way with this inclusivity. Fallout (1997) was one of the first major releases to feature same-sex marriage in a video game. As far as player-led romances go, the Fallout series have always left sexuality choices open to the players preference. And while there are a lot of stories to be told as there are many different character outcomes based on player interaction, let me just tell you one of my most recent.
In Fallout 4, one of the companions available to your character (to travel with you) is a spunky, stubborn, and fabulous NPC character named Piper. NPCs nerby will either like or dislike your decisions based on the decisions you make throughout the game, and you build a rapport with these characters. Long-story-short, my [female] game character winds up in some sort of relationship with this character. The only problem is that if I choose a different companion at this point, Piper extremely dislikes that which puts me in a predicament when it comes to finishing side-quests that require other companions.
We wanted to end this blog post with your personal stories. Thank you so, so much to everyone who sent one in, it means a lot to us! And quick reminder that if you still want to write a piece, you can. <3
That's it for today's post! We hope you enjoyed reading through it, and that perhaps you'll even pick up one of the rec'd stories or two. We just want you guys to know that you are loved, and that you are safe here, and that you're all amazing. Keep being you, guys.
We're going to sign off for now! Thank you for reading. <3
- The Prefects
recs by clevernotbrilliant, just.a.willow.tree, Rumpelstiltskin
personal stories by just.a.willow.tree, MalfoysAngel, MuggleMaybe, scooterbug8515
graphics by just.a.willow.tree
I’ve always wanted to join one of those subscription boxes (like Loot Crate) but have always been afraid that I would wind up with items that I couldn’t even give away so I never took the plunge...That was until two months ago when I found a box called Universal Yums.
Universal Yums is a subscription snack box that sends you an array of snacks each month from a different country. The boxes range from $14-$39 and come with a variety of snacks ranging from sweet to savory (and some spicy), a book with puzzles, games, recipes, and information about each snack and the inspiration behind them. They also include a poll where you can vote on the Best Yum, Runner-Up, Worst Yum and Most Unusual. More information can be found on their website Https://universalyums.com (All Audiences).
I figured this would be the perfect box for me since I won’t be able to travel the world anytime soon (I am planning on a European tour when my rugrat turns 18) so I signed up at first with the Yum Yum box (Medium box) and my first country was the birthplace of Picasso. That’s right folks, for my first box I got to travel to Spain.
So like I said earlier, Each box came with a booklet that described each snack and the origins of it and a ballot to rank 4 of the snacks.
The purpose of each blog is to share my thoughts on each snack and rank them on a scale of 1-10 as well as give you my picks on what was my favorite, least favorite, and a few other things. I’m hoping to make this a monthly thing as long as my bank account holds out and I can continue to afford the snacks.
First up in my Spanish food adventure are potato chips…..Not very original I know but these did have a unique flavor to them.
La Abuela Nieves Artisan Potato Chips: Iberian Ham Flavored Potato Chips
These are inspired by real Iberian Ham which is supposed to be the best of the best of the ham varieties available in Spain. According to my info guide, this ham comes from the Iberico Hog which is fed a special diet of olives and acorns. The meat is cured for three years and results in a unique flavor.
This was the first item I tried out of my box and I wasn’t impressed with the flavor. I thought they didn’t really taste like ham but took into account the fact that I’ve never eaten real Iberian ham so didn’t judge too harshly on that. The texture was that of most potato chips I’ve eaten and overall the flavor seemed similar to some I’ve had in the past. These didn’t blow me away at all and I have to rate them a solid 4/10.
The next stop on my food tour was a cookie. First impressions weren’t that great because when I opened them they were broken and I wound up with a bunch of crumbs everywhere.
Montedaco Doble de Limon: Lemon Shortbread Cookies
These “cookies” are inspired by 500-year-old tortas de manteca (butter cakes) that were made by nuns in Estepa. In the late 1800s, a woman named Filomenia Ruiz Tellez decided to dry the cakes in the oven to allow the nuns to travel further with the cakes. The result is these cookies that didn’t grow mold as fast as the moist cakes.
I was expecting a cookie similar to the American Version of a shortbread cookie. Such as these:
These are crispy and while they are probably more like biscuits than actual cookies are really good they are the exact opposite of what I got.
What I got was the remains of a cookie that was so dry in texture that I couldn’t eat them without a glass of water to help combat the dry mouth that came with eating these. They also tasted nothing like any lemon flavored cookie or cake I’ve ever eaten. I wish I had taken a picture of what the remains of my cookies looked like. They apparently didn’t hold up to the travel well and like my guide says they were very crumbly. They continued to fall apart as I was eating them and I can only hope that they might be better if I was actually in Spain and could attempt to eat a whole cookie instead of crumbs. Again I was not impressed and rate these a 2/10. (1 point deducted because of the condition they were in) So far Spain isn’t blowing me away with their snack foods.
For our next stop, I had to channel my inner coffee connoisseur (not sure where I found her because I don’t like coffee) for some truffles.
Lacasa Trufas: Cappuccino Truffles
I have to be honest, when I think of truffles, I think of those things that pigs dig up, not chocolate (I need to get out more) so I was momentarily blindsided by the fact that a pig could dig up a coffee flavored fungus before and why something so expensive would be in a $25 snack box, I remembered that there was a sweet also called a truffle...Once I remembered that I was thinking I was going to get something similar to the Lindt truffles which I love but again it was different than what I got. (are we seeing a pattern here yet) I’m not going to go into the history of truffles and Spain that came in my guide but just know that it has something to do with Columbus and Cortes and Honduras.
When I opened my box of truffles, I tried to keep an open mind about the cappuccino flavor but that changed when I discovered that they weren’t individually wrapped and had melted together due to the Texas heat. It looked like they resembled Hershey’s Kisses at one point but hey chocolate is chocolate right?... So these weren’t bad and I was surprised to not have an overabundance of the coffee flavor. It was there but the bitterness of the cocoa powder they were dusted with at some point (I wound up with it all over my hands so It must not have melted into the truffles when they stuck together) took over and all I got was the chocolate. Despite being stuck together, they had a really smooth texture and I can’t say I hated them. Spain is slowly starting to look better and better I would rate these 4/10 (1 point deducted because of the state they were in when they arrived)
Up next we go back to the salty with a barbecue snack mix.
Puntazos Mix Cocktail de Maiz: Barbecue Snack Mix with Corn Nuts.
According to my guidebook, corn nuts are a popular snack served in Spanish bars and are mixed with rice puffs and corn chips to create this mix. It wasn’t overpowering on the salt like the CornNuts that I’m used to so this mix was quite enjoyable and I thoroughly enjoyed eating this.
I can’t really say much on this other than I liked the taste and was impressed with it enough to rate it 8/10. Spain finally decided to show up with this one.
The next item made me question if Spain was still there. I don’t think I’ve ever had nougat before that wasn’t covered in chocolate so this was an experience.
San Andres Calidad Suprema: Creamy Almond Nougat
This treat has been around for 500 years and is 60% almonds the one I received is considered Soft Turron since it is made with ground almonds instead of turron Alicante which is made with whole almonds. This was another one that I didn’t care for mostly due to the chalky texture. It had a decent flavor even though almonds aren’t my thing and I have to give it a 4/10.
Next is another cookie that I’m glad to say arrived whole and wasn’t crumbs when I opened it.
Carmen Lupianez Tortas de Aceite: Olive Oil Cookies.
Since Spain produces 43% of the worlds Olive oil, it’s no wonder that a snack made with Spanish Olive oil was included in this month’s box of treats. Living in Texas, there are olive oil cookies that are made in Mexico that I’ve been offered growing up but the idea of eating one never appealed to me since most Mexican snacks I’ve tried I’ve found to be disgusting at least in my opinion. I finally had to take the plunge this month and try one made with Spanish olive oil and had I eaten them as a kid, I probably wouldn’t have been so hesitant to try this one.
They had a soft texture and tasted somewhat like gingerbread but I could taste the oil and that was a bit off-putting for me. Overall they weren’t bad and while it’s not something I would want to eat all the time, I can see me eating them in the future. I would give these cookies a middle of the road score of 5/10.
The next treat in my adventure left me with a fire that was hard to put out…
Vidal Spicy Mangos: Spicy Mango Gummies
I’m not a fan of mango so I really didn’t want to try them but once I did, I didn’t taste mango at all. With only a small bite of one gummy, my entire mouth was on fire. These things are so spicy that you can’t taste anything but heat. It took two large glasses of milk to put out the fire these things left behind. I was not expecting the assault on my taste buds that these provided. These I have to score 3/10. (2 points awarded because I was impressed with the amount of heat these things have)
Once I put out the fire, I was able to sit back and enjoy some bite-size candies.
Lacasitos Gold: Caramel & White Chocolate Candies.
Finally something non-adventurous, These candies resembled M&Ms and I was pleased that the taste was an even balance of the caramel and white chocolate. With a score of 8/10, these are one of my top picks for a favorite snack.
The next item after tasting them, I wish I didn’t have to try. But since I had to, I wish I had tried them first instead of waiting until I had tried most of the other items.
Shiki Shin Barbacoa: Barbecue Potato Snack
These were almost pasta shaped and so blindingly white they almost looked artificially colored. If I hadn’t read the ingredient list provided I would have assumed they contained some sort of food dye. If the color didn’t impress, the flavor didn’t improve anything. They were so salty that it killed any potential for flavor they could have had. These left me with a bad taste in my mouth and the texture left a bad feeling. I would have to rate these a 1/10 but if I could rate them lower, I would.
After all that salt, I’m glad my next item was sweet. Bonus points that it was chocolate.
Leticias Naranja al Chocolate: Chocolate Covered Candied Oranges
These were actually really good. They consist of real orange slices that have been candied and covered in dark chocolate. I’ve always loved the chocolate oranges (just orange flavored chocolate that you smack on a table and it separates into slices) I find at Christmas and while these had a more overpowering chocolate flavor I thought they were well rounded and quite delicious. I would rate these a 7/10.
My journey almost done, I was slightly disappointed in my next two snacks. Both include nuts one contains my favorite and the other I’ve never eaten before but it is the most expensive nut in the world.
El Caserío De Tafalla Crema Pistachio: Pistachio Toffee
I was expecting hard toffee and these were almost soft caramel-like and really tasted more like caramel than anything pistachio I’ve ever eaten. By the way, if anyone remembers the red pistachios please send me a PM so I have someone to reminisce with. I was disappointed that these didn’t taste like my favorite nut and also saddened that they didn’t seem to have any actual pistachios in them. I would rate these 3/10. (Points deducted for denying me my nuts and being basically caramel)
El Caserio Chocolate con Pinones: Chocolate with Pine Nuts
These were similar to the pistachio ones as they were a soft chocolate candy with a woody taste so I was able to detect the presence of something other than just a chocolate flavored caramel. I gave one to a coworker and he said they tasted like what he would imagine tree bark tasted like. He actually spit his out and got to listen to me give him grief about spitting out the most expensive nut in the world. (According to The Google, Pine nuts cost about $20 a pound so roughly about $40 per kilo) They weren’t my favorite sweet in the box but they weren’t my least favorite. These receive a score of 4/10.
Last but not least the next item was inspired by an English biscuit and was one of my favorite snacks.
Ducats Maria Biscuits Chocolate: Chocolate Bon Bon with Biscuit (Maria Biscuit Bon Bon)
To me, these are a combination of a Lindt truffle (see now I remember that Truffles are more than a fungus) and a Ferrero Rocher as they are a hazelnut surrounded by chocolate surrounded by a biscuit and covered in more chocolate. They had a creamy center and melted in your mouth. I LOVED these. They receive a score of 9/10.
So with my journey through Spain complete, All that’s left to do is share the results of the poll. The official Universal Yums Results are in parenthesis.
Most Unusual--Spicy Mango Gummies (Spicy Mango Gummies)
Worst Yum--Shiki Shin (Chocolate with Pine Nuts)
Runner Up--Barbecue Snack Mix with Corn Nuts(Caramel Candies)
Best Yum--Maria Biscuit Bon Bon (Truffles)
Join me next time when I travel to the Philippines. (I’ve already received the box all I have to do is taste everything and compile the results).
Also, anyone who is actually from Spain or familiar with the foods please correct me or clarify anything I might have gotten wrong or missed. I know some of the spelling is incorrect but since I don't have a Spanish keyboard I don't know how to add the accents in the correct places.
Until next time,
*Unless otherwise stated, all prices are in USD
Photos courtesy of me
Spanish Flag Photo from World Atlas.
Lorna Doone Cookie photo courtesy of Google
Special thanks to Universal Yums for providing the treats.
So while I was at work tonight, I thought of an idea for a new blog series that I would like to do. The idea behind his blog is to get a more intimate look behind the struggles and excitement during my writing process for Life As We Know It (LAWKI).
For those of you who don't know what LAWKI is, it was on of my first (and so far my favorite) attempt at writing a dramione. What exactly makes this one my favorite? Well besides the fact that dramione is my OTP, the concept behind the story was to really make this pairing seem realistic and to fit it into canon events. I didn't want my story to just be another seventh year rerun where Draco and Hermione are head boy and head girl. I really wanted to push the boundaries of dramione and work within the framework already given to us by J. K. Rowling. My main goal with this story has been to make people who don't normally like dramiones to read this and say "Wow, I can really see this happening and I really like this story." And some how, some way, I began getting those types of comments on my story.
Now I can't say that my time writing this story has been completely amazing and without any hiccups. As a matter of fact, I've actually been working on this story since 2011! And guess what? It's nowhere near being completed! Prior to posting this story here, I actually had 18 chapters written and posted which came to just under 50K words. You might be wondering where the other 11 chapters ended up since I have only posted 6 chapters here so far.
Here comes the part of the blog where I begin to explain some of the struggles that I've had while writing this story.
So a few years ago, I decided that while I absolutely loved the story I had written so far, it did not live up to the full potential that I knew that it could. There was so much more that I could do with this story to make it even more realistic than it already was. And not only that, but I felt like I had originally rushed the friendship between Draco and Hermione and that I didn't give it the proper time and attention that it really needed to help add that missing element to the story. And so the editing process began.
And for awhile it went really well! I loved the new edits and new ideas came rushing in for the story. My love for LAWKI continued to grow and I was so excited to sit down and work on the story any chance that I got. Chapters 1-6 were edited fairly quickly and posted and I was super excited about my ideas for a brand new chapter 7. The idea I had was something that was not seen in either the book or the movie but was definitely something that I could see happening during this time in the story.
Now imagine my shock and disappointment that when it came time to actually sit down and begin writing this chapter I just couldn't get the words out.
For the longest time, I sat with a chapter that was not even half written. I had a general idea for the ending of the chapter and roughly how I wanted that portion of the story to come about but it was the beginning portion of the story that was giving me the most trouble. I can't even count how many times I tried starting the chapter and getting it to the point that I needed to. Nothing lived up to the expectations that I held for myself.
So now here I sit, 2 years later with chapter 7 still not completed (though it is much closer to completion then it ever was).
And the thing is, that after these last 2 years, I think I'm finally figuring out why it has taken me so long to write this chapter. I put so much pressure on myself to make this story great, to make it realistic, and to make those who don't normally love dramiones fall in love with this one. I let the excitement over a new chapter crush the process of just getting the words down on the page, no matter how bad those words might really be. So instead of letting my story blossom, I chopped it down by expecting perfection the moment it was typed onto the page.
So while I'm still struggling to get this chapter written, I have managed to make huge strides towards getting it completed. I'm slowly learning to accept the words as they get written instead of letting myself put a large amount of expectations and stress towards the chapter. I looked for inspiration in new places and all of the love and support that I have gotten from all of you as well as my amazing boyfriend at home has really helped to allow myself to relax and take it one day at a time.
So I guess, that's just Life As We Know It.
Hello everyone! So I hosted the Soulmate AU and Random Prompt Challenge from February until the beginning of May, and I've got the results here!
Firstly, the challenge required the participants to combine a given Soulmate AU trope prompt and a Random prompt with a pairing of their choice. An example of this is where the pair have matching tattoo designs on their wrists, and Person A is a barista while Person B has a ridiculous coffee order, with the pairing of Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley.
Participants could choose to write in the Harry Potter, The 100, BBC Merlin, or Doctor Who universes, with no minimum or maximum length requirement. I really looked forward to seeing what everyone came up with as this was a far-reaching challenge regarding the prompts available and the numerous combinations possible.
So without further ado, here are all of the participants!
@dirigibleplums - +Ice Baby (T)
@Slytherin_Ravenclaw_Chick - +Improvisations (15+)
@ShadowRose - +Reckless (M)
@Pixileanin - +Coffee and Curse-Breakers (M)
@dreamgazer220 - +Marked Hearts (M)
@TidalDragon - +Lucky Strike (T)
@facingthenorthwind - +two certainties (T/M)
@just.a.willow.tree - +you again (T)
All of these lovely people were competing for these prizes:
1st place: 5 reviews on pieces of their choosing + favorite story + promotion on my signature for 3 months
2nd place: 4 reviews on pieces of their choosing + favorite story + promotion on my signature for 2 months
3rd place: 3 reviews on pieces of their choosing + favorite story + promotion on my signature for 1 month
And the winners are......*Drumroll*........
In 1st place, @Pixileanin with Coffee and Curse-Breakers! Pix wrote a wonderful post-war story about Bill Weasley and Tonks focusing on issues with non-moon-controlled lycanthropy, grief from spousal loss, and how to deal with soulmate marks that pulse when the other is in danger. The tragedy that we see right off the bat with Tonks attempting to deal with Remus's death but she can't due the appearance of two mysterious lines on her wrist linking her to someone to the point of death. She spends her mornings in line behind a man with a mysterious coffee order and one day that isn't so normal she finds herself face to face with this man and on the run attempting to save his life because they are linked together. The man happens to be Bill Weasley, and boy oh boy does Pix just up the ante with the angst by having Fleur killed shortly after the war as well but Bill does not know whether or not it was him. Pix smoothly pulls all of these tendrils together into one thrilling ride and used her prompts to her advantage.
In 2nd place, @dirigibleplums with Ice Baby! Plums wrote a fun, lighthearted story about James & Lily centered around the themes of ice hockey and figure skating, respectively, where soulmates had their partner's first words tattooed on their body. The brotherhood of James and Sirius is as perfect as ever and their dramatics together are just a fun way to begin the story. Once Lily and James meet on the ice, their fiery banter keeps the plot moving along and Plums did a great job of developing their story over time in a realistic fashion for people who started out hating each others' guts. The turning point seems to be where Lily sprains her ankle while skating and James gives her a piggyback ride to the university nurse to get it looked at. They progress from there until they finally realize that they do actually like each other romantically and start dating, and the rest is history! The background Remus/Sirius is also a pleasant addition to the story and gives James and Lily more to bounce off of regarding their personalities and character traits.
In 3rd place, @just.a.willow.tree with you again! Eva did a phenomenal job with her soulmate prompt where the pair's reincarnations continue meeting throughout the years. Teddy Lupin & Victoire Weasley begin the story back in ancient times when the werewolves and veela were in an all out war, but these two, unbeknownst to each other initially while in human form, had been together for a year. They tragically die in a fire set by humans after becoming trapped in a shed and too injured to leave. Eva then jumps forward some years to Victorian era with pickpockets and the height of criminal mischief, where they die from bullet wounds to the heart. Coming forward even more to present day sees Victoire and Teddy living together while Victoire preps for her Seventh Year and Teddy is working. Her great use of her random prompt in this section really emphasizes how all of the different Victoires did try to control or be in charge over Teddy, where in the modern setting he's finally had enough and beats a man up. It's a great look at self-reflection for Victoire and some seriously solid writing to have each reincarnation be so different from all the others yet still have the same base characteristics.
If the three of you lovely people could send me a PM with the stories you'd like reviewed, that'd be wonderful!
To the rest of my participants, I sincerely loved each and every one of your entries, from facingthenorthwind's angsty Sirius/Remus one-shot to ShadowRose's bright and fluffy James/Lily multichap. Bravo to all of you, and thank you so much for entering my challenge!! Hugs and celebrations all around!!
A year ago today, I came out of the closet – or rather, my mother shattered the closet I didn't even realise had been there. I've been debating all day whether I actually wanted to write about and share my journey since then, but introspection is generally a good idea, so. Here we go. (Thank you Anja and Sian for holding my hand.)
In December 2016, I told my parents I wanted to dye my hair blue. This elicited no reaction, so I upped the stakes by telling them I also wanted a tattoo, and when that did nothing, I blurted "oh, and I like girls too!" Much like the previous two statements, all that got me was "that's nice, dear, good for you". My family's not conservative politically, but I suppose we could be described as rather traditional – we were all raised Catholic (faith'll be a blog post for another time, because hoo boy is there a lot to unpack there too), and there are Standards To Be Upheld Because You Belong To A Lineage that have been drilled into me for over two decades. I'm the eldest of my siblings, and as any older sibling will know, that tends to add a load of pressure because you're expected to be the youth's reference point.
So, when I first mentioned that I liked girls that year, I thought I was joking. There was no way I was actually bisexual, was I? It wasn't right, wasn't proper, not for me at least – I have zero issues with anyone else's sexuality, I just personally happened to be straight. Ha, ha.
For some reason I kept making allusions to bisexuality (that I kept mentioning the possibility really should've been my first clue that I probably wasn't quite as straight as I thought), most likely as a way to test the waters. Flash forward to June 3rd 2017, where mum is reading a magazine and talking about the actor on the cover to dad and I.
Mum: I always thought he was like you, Val, at wind and at sails (this is a direct translation from French, but the original version still doesn't make any form of sense)
Me: what does that mean?
Mum: it means he's bi.
And on went the conversation about the actor in question, while I quietly proceeded to have an existential crisis on the couch. My mum had, for all intents and purposes, taken a rocket launcher to the closet I hadn't even realised was there, let alone that I was standing in: hearing her say "he's like you, bisexual" made me realise that oh, yes, yes I am bisexual, that's what's been going on in my head for the past months. The fact that there's no term to accurately capture what happened during this conversation bothers me: I didn't come out to her nor did she out me, technically, because you don't out people to themselves, do you?
My dad, however, required a proper coming out, and that didn't go quite so well. He made a joke about me bringing a woman home in front of a (conservative) friend, so I confronted him about it and asked him to watch his mouth because I wasn't yelling about it to the general public yet. Dad, who thought he was being funny, hadn't been privy to my existential crisis a few days before, didn't realise I was serious, and wasn't too happy that I'd fight him on this.
He then went through every item on the 'What Not To Ask A Bisexual Person 101' list, most notably "well at some point you'll have to choose" (no) and "if you marry a man, does that make you straight?" ("no, dad, I'm not gay if in a relationship with a woman and straight if with a man, I'm just bi all the time"), and was generally super uncomfortable with the entire thing. Pro tip: have these conversations in the car: whoever you're talking to can't run away. (Admittedly, neither can you.)
My sister, much younger than I, was the next person I told, and for a kid who goes to private Catholic school and is surrounded by bigots, her reaction was amazing. She told me she was proud of me for telling her, but I still think I have more reasons to be proud of her because she apparently argues with anyone who expresses a homophobic opinion. My brother was surprised, because that boy is blind as a bat and hadn't seen a thing coming, and disappointed that I hadn't told him first. Honestly, that boy.
Now (phew, that was long, I'd apologise for the word vomit but I simply can't not talk in circles), where do I stand a year later?
I still struggle, sometimes, with the bisexual label. But as a friend once told me, bisexuality is still valid even if it's not 50/50 attraction to two genders. Including myself under the LGBTQ+ umbrella doesn't come naturally; that's probably those two decades of Catholic education I mentioned earlier.
Moving countries for my postgrad degree has definitely helped in that regard, though – I found myself in a super friendly, non-judgemental environment and was out to most of my friend group really, really quickly. The friend group from my undergrad is another story – only a select few know, because the others are far less inclusive and I don't feel comfortable with them knowing.
My dad still has trouble with the concept, in a "non-straight people are fine but I'd rather it weren't my children" way. I reference bisexuality a lot to normalise it, and am proud to announce that we've finally reached a point where my dad does too, but it's also obvious that he's not 100% convinced I mean it and is kind of hoping it's just talk. The bigger problem is that he sometimes makes comments in front of people and accidentally outs me, and doesn't understand why it's an issue, but I'm working on that. I'm lucky enough to live an environment where being accidentally outed doesn't put me in any kind of danger, so annoying as it is in some respects he's almost doing me a favour: it spares me having to do the announcement myself, which I still find difficult.
This blog post is probably the most I've directly called myself bi, ever, which shows that a fair bit of road remains ahead. Overall, though, I'm looking forward to the trip.
Back again for my May update! I feel like I've done so much this month but still not as much as I wanted to. For May, my goals were:
And well, I'm still here so at least one of these goals was accomplished!
I made Head Student, which was a huge surprise! Having only been back here a month at the time, I had never expected such an amazingly sweet welcome back gift. So, to everyone for your support, it really means a lot to me.
I've only managed to complete 30/37 Sirrah chapters, editing and posting only five chapters this month. Which is pretty good, I think. I'm finally getting into the real drama where more edits need to be made, so it's going to take a little more time to complete. I also finally posted my Drarry this month (Scars from Tomorrow), which mean all of my previously completed one-shots--that didn't need fixing--are up on the new archives. I have not posted anything new, although I am slowly working on writing something. I know I said I would wait until I finished editing Sirrah to do this, but I couldn't wait. The muse took over and I had to start writing.
I have been posting reviews though! Not one every day like I said, but more like a smattering every few days. I managed to post a total of 23 reviews this month, albeit mostly on Slytherin author stories as I've also been super busy either nominating stories for the MFWHATAs or reading the other nominations so that I can properly make my votes. But now that that's over, I can finally go back to reviewing a little more regularly and writing as well.
I still have not made a Writer's Journal but it's slowly in the works.
I have written up a little sneak peak list of stories I want to write/continue. I have yet to decide if I should make it a blog post or save it for the Writer's Journal... please feel free to weigh in here.
On a completely separate real life note, I had a job interview this month. I spent most of the first two weeks of May stressing over it, and then the next three stressing as I waited for a response. I did not get the job, but I suppose I figured that when they didn't get back to me within the week like they said they would. Of course, government jobs take time to get. All I can do is keep applying until I'm finally the best candidate for a job. Plus, I can only get better with the more interviews I do, as terrifying as it is. And I might also look elsewhere. It's sad though, I do love the place where I'm working. I love the people I work with and I've made some great friends, but I just can't keep doing it anymore. Retail is killing me (i.e. literally driving me crazy) , and it doesn't help that the area is so bad and just unsafe. Not to mention, working jobs where you stand all day is just taking it's toll on me and my ankles, knees, legs, back, posture. Not that sitting all day is good for you, but it'd be nice to work somewhere where there's a bit of both.
I've also got some exciting real life things coming up! It's summer and there are carnivals every week! I may be going to one tonight, if it doesn't rain (which seems unlikely right now) and my friend is still able to make it. If not, there's always another carnival. And I will be attending a wine fest next Saturday with some work friends and that should be super fun. Already got my VIP ticket so we will be getting all the perks. So I will be getting my drink on that day and actively supporting local businesses and the community at the same time.
And I may be acting (for the first time) in a short film. A co-worker/friend of mine has entered this cool film making fest to make an anthology of local creepy myths and legends, so it will just be a short little sketch (like a mini horror movie) and if it's chosen to be included, there's a possibility it could be put on Netflix. I'm not saying it will be great, the friend has never made a film before, and it's mainly meant to be a sort of learning experience for him. Plus, the other actors and I, aren't practiced actors by any means, but it should be fun. And I figured it could help me face my own insecurities and fears, not being a fan of seeing myself on camera or receiving judgement from other people. Plus, the role was practicality written for me, all expletives included .
I am really bummed a dear friend of mine is getting married at the end of the month and I don't think I will be able to attend. The wedding is four or five hours away, and I just don't have the means or a working car to make it and I'm sad because I love her and miss her and would like to be there to support her on her special day.
But that's enough about me! Choosing to stay pumped for new possibilities and trying to keep a positive outlook even though it's hard because I'm a realist at heart.
Also Happy Pride Month to everyone! I can't wait to see what the awesome staff and prefects have planned for us this month!
Edit: I almost forgot to mention my goals for June! So, this month, I hope to:
Write and finish two new stories
Continue editing and posting Sirrah
Continue my daily reviews
Look for and hopefully apply to more jobs
Be a better, more positive person
(note: I opened my computer intending to write a quick 100 words on this new story, and instead spent three hours writing this 900+ word blog... . Same thing, right?)
Somehow it's the end of May, and I made it through another month. Welcome back to my ramble-blog!
May was very long in some aspects, and in others it flew by. I was very busy—what with a conference I attended, then a visit from one my sisters, then a ton of family in town for my partner's graduation from law school...I'm exhausted. I don't feel like I've slept well literally in weeks.
The bad news is the aforementioned exhaustion, busyness, stress, and some really bad anxiety mid-month.
The good news, though, is that I did a little bit of writing (finally!), got to see family, and my partner and I finally picked out an engagement ring for me! He's planning to propose sometime later this summer, and I'm obviously really excited about that.
In terms of writing, I've had such a desire to write and edit and post stories. I actually have that drive again, which is awesome. It feels like it's been missing for a while, and I'm happy it's back. Hopefully June will be more productive for me! Wish me luck!
May was also really fun in the 'Puff CR with different reviewing activities and games we played. I love you, 'Pufflings! You're so wonderful, and I really enjoyed hanging out with you all so much this month.
Looking forward, our big move away from our current city is approaching. Our lease ends here on June 30th. I'm excited for our next step in life, and I'm so happy for my partner's new job, but it will be really hard to leave here. It's been our first real home together, and we have so many friends we'll be leaving. It's going to be a huge change. Hopefully I can find a job I love and thrive in. And hopefully the transition isn't too hard.
June is bound to be crazy, so we'll see how it goes. Thank you as always for reading and being patient with my rants. You all rock.
I'm back with another pointless entry! Some of you liked my inner ramblings, and I enjoyed looking back on it too. So without further ado, here's a second installment of what's been going on in my head in the last 72 hours:
why do all my fics sound like essays and not actual fics. I read all these pretty sentences and I'm just like "nonetheless" and "with that in mind" bex no one is grading this, I'm sure your year 6 teacher would 100% approve of your connectives but damn Gina can we try and be descriptive???? CAN WE???
I'm trying to fight my writing style by actually reading. I haven't kept up to many of my 'new years' goals - but I have read at least 2 books a month. I read two books in a week the other day.
It's just a shame a lot of these are factual biographies.
SPEAKING OF - the factual biography I'm currently reading is about Britain's 'first' female serial killer and this writer is really on team Mary (Mary's the killer fyi) . She killed her kids??? and her husbands???? There's lots of proof, even if it is from the Victorian era. Okay I get that you're mad about the press being harsh on her but what's new?
I'm not saying I'm an expert on British serial killers but I'm pretty sure I'm an expert on serial killers
wow I need to stop reading criminal biographies. BUT the one about jack the ripper that I read was so objective and thought provoking and I have no regrets about taking it on holiday - in fact a lot of people were really interested and asked me questions. Yes my reading of three books definitely makes me a certified historian, ask away [insert cool emoji]
Maybe I should've done a history degree instead of drama
acting is all well and good but i've really limited myself - what the heck am I going to do with my life????? I want to go into the entertainment industry but I've left it so late. Extra work rarely brings you anything but extra work, if I get a 'proper' job I'll kill my dreams, part time jobs aren't the best idea for a bex like me bc my social anxiety is so crippling, but I can't afford headshots or doing free work because of things like rent and food etc, etc
and I have v limited work experience (nice going bex)
maybe I should just become a youtuber/social media kid who advocates mental health
actually I would LOVE to do that but I don't think I have the right look/voice/brain for social media
I suck at everything why am I like this ohmygod
These last few weeks I've had the biggest desire to just run away, change my name and start afresh. Go to a town where nobody knows who I am and just start again, but it isn't that simple.
And I couldn't move anywhere without taking my nan with me she's an absolute gem
insert totally new train of thought
I can't believe I read a book in only a few hours
to be fair it was a really good book, but as always the first book was better than the sequel
the plot twist was everything though, I mean I didn't even see it coming
maybe that's because I was so invested in the romance side plot and the civil war main plot
and then BAM - reveal
speaking of reveals, r-r-RUPAULS DRAG RACE (gentlemen) START YOUR ENGINES
yes the theme music for rpdr does enter my head at any given time
Clearly Ru has ruvealed (hehe) her top three, Miz Cracker, Aquaria, and Eureka
but if it's a top four gig like last year then unless Asia messes up next week, she'll be in the top 4
At this point I kinda want cracker or Asia to win
Originally my top three were mayhem, cracker and monet & welp we all know how that went
IDK I'm just grateful that RPDR got me into the world of drag
I just watched Paris is Burning and it was such an eye opener
I've seen a few drag shows recently
AND IM GONNA SEE BIANCA DEL RIO LIVE THIS YEAR
[burst into everything is coming up rose's]
last summer was honestly the worst time of my life and I was in such a terrible place, so while things can only get better I really want this summer to be different.
Seeing Bianca Del Rio live, socialising, maybe doing a little bit of travelling would make all the difference <3 <3
//end inner monologue
books mentioned (In case anyone's interested):
Mary Ann Cotton: The West Auckland Borgia by Martin Connolly
The Complete and Essential Jack the Ripper by Paul Begg and John Bennett
A Hope Divided by Alyssa Cole (no.2 in the Loyal League)