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      March Bulletin   03/01/2018

      March's bulletin is up! You can find our monthly awards, some special announcements, a little more information about our upcoming events, and more +here!

Something Unpredictable

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About this blog

~ forays into the mind of a stressed out, depression-suffering writer, reader, cat lady ~

[It will probably be more lighthearted than I make it sound.]

Entries in this blog


A Difficult Month

February was a really hard month, to be honest. My anxiety was higher during the second half of this month than it has been since last fall, which is really frustrating. I worked around 50 hours and between six and seven days a week. I didn't get enough sleep. Without boring you with details, there were a lot of factors contributing to this being a not-great 28 days.

At the same time, February went by really quickly. I can't believe it's almost March. The older I get, the less I seem to live in the moment, which I suppose is probably a bad thing...


So, I have some real goals I want to achieve for March. Most importantly, I want to write. I haven't written anything this year. Nada. Not one word. And writing is something that I really enjoy, obviously, so I want to make time to do it. I'm hoping to have more chapters of Collateral (M) edited and posted by the end of March. Then maybe I can actually get around to posting its sequel, which I wrote 30,000 words of during NaNo.

In sum, I'm hoping that March will be better than February was. Already, the last few days of this month have given me hope that next will be better. I've read some great stories in the queue, had some great conversations with members here, and know that there are exciting things coming for the site next month. If I can get my own life in some semblance of order and get to writing things in March, I think that will help a lot.

Thanks as always for reading the ramblings! Maybe next month's blog will actually be about writing. ;) 


New Year, High Hopes

So it seems that I'll be blogging at the end of each month (except December, which I inadvertently missed). Welcome back!

It's a new year, and I'm really hoping that it will be a good one. January was rough. Things were busy and stressful: work, family illnesses, exhaustion, and general chaos kept me running. I didn't sleep enough. I didn't complete some of my start-of-the-year goals. But I'm still here and still plugging away.

I have a lot of resolutions for 2018. I want to learn to cook. I want to get back into yoga. I want to write and read and bullet journal. And more. I think I'll be able to accomplish at least some of those, but this year is definitely going to be a busy one.

I'm making a big move at the end of June to NYC (or, more likely, New Jersey since it's more affordable and I can still commute to the city for work). My boyfriend and I have lived where we are in New England for two and a half years, and we'll be leaving a lot behind to pursue our careers. We're excited to start there, and we're planning to get engaged, so we know that this will be a great move for us. But it's still hard to leave this place behind. It was our first real home together, and we have a lot of friends who we won't get to see as often after we go. It's going to be hard.

I'm really hoping that 2018 is going to be the year that I get into my career-job in publishing. I've been interning and working part time for the last two and a half years, and I want to really dive in when I get to New York. It's the center of publishing, so it's the perfect place to start my career.

I'm also hoping that this move won't set back all the positive work I've done for my mental health. I suffer from really severe anxiety and depression, and 2017 was one of my hardest years. I've finally found an SSRI medication that works for me, though, and I hope it can keep working despite all the life changes I'll be going through.

In sum, 2018 is going to be busy. I really want it to be good, and I'm happy with the goals I've laid out for myself. I'm excited and ready to jump in. I'm just not sure where that leap will lead.

I'm sure there's more to say, but I won't keep chatting for now. I'll likely come back to this topic in a future blog. I just have a lot to look forward to this year. I'm so glad that I'll have this community behind me while I go through it all. Thank you as always for reading!


So I'm Going to Lose NaNo...

Hello everyone!

Happy end-of-November! I'm about to lose NaNoWriMo!





And that is absolutely, 100%, this-isn't-sarcastic, okay!


Really! I'm about to lose NaNo, and I'm completely fine with it! I have accomplished so much this month!

  • I've written for this first time in years.
  • I've begun a new novel, the sequel to Collateral, that I've been wanting to write for a long, long time.
  • I've planned out the majority of that novel.
  • I love the writing I've done.
  • And I've written nearly 30,000 words!

That's on top of all the things in my personal life: starting a second job, hosting a currently-apartment-less friend all month, having a different friend visit for four days, being on a doubled dosage of a pill that makes me super tired, Christmas shopping, family stress, and everything else. In other words, this month went wonderfully.

I feel a tiny bit disappointed for not reaching 50,000—as I'm sure all of us who didn't do—but overall, I feel good. I had an amazing NaNo buddy in @bittersweetflames (hi, Carla!) who encouraged me through her own busy month. I had great advice along the way from @abhorsen. and so many others, rat-raced with some great people, and I feel great about what I've accomplished.

So I guess this is a blog about the journey, not the destination.

How did NaNo go for you? Did you meet your goals? (Congratulations!) Did you fall short, but still feel good? Did you fall short and feel disappointed? Any feelings, post them below and we can reflect!

Thank you for reading!


Learning to Write Again

I'm out of practice.

I haven't really written something substantial in years.

And I don't really know how to start up again.


In terms of fanfiction, in 2014, I finished Rule Breaker (soon to be renamed Collateral and posted on HPFT). It was a project five years in the making, and I absolutely loved writing it. After that, though, I wrote very little. In 2015, I posted two one-shots and two chapters of what was meant to be a novel until I lost interest. Since then, I've written nothing. For over two years.

Now I'm getting ready to write the sequel to Collateral, entitled Rendition. I want to tackle it for NaNo this year. I'm really excited about it. But I can't seem to figure out how I'm going to do this. I'm so out of practice writing. Over the last month or so, I've edited some of my HPFF stories and transferred them to HPFT. It's been cathartic. I've really enjoyed improving them. Trouble is, I haven't actually been writing anything, just editing. And now I want to jump in with both feet.

So, how do I do this? I've considered entering some challenges to get my writing brain moving again. I think that might help as a short-term fix. I'm not sure if it will help in the long term though. I don't know if I'm any good at writing anymore. There's just a lot of self-doubt with it right now. I know I should just grit my teeth and plunge forward, but that fear of failure isn't so easy to overcome. True, no one will really know if I "fail" at writing—I'll be the only judge/jury/executioner on that—but it still brings me pause.

I'm a compulsive planner when it comes to writing. I love knowing where I'm going before I start. But I haven't even been able to bring myself to sketch out the greater plot of Rendition past the first few chapters, and NaNo starts in a week. Ohhhh man am I screwed.


So, that's the end of that rant. Any advice? Words of wisdom? Words of comfort? Shrieks of empathetic understanding for feeling exactly the same way?


Beginning the Transition

Hello HPFT friends!

I can't believe I'm really here! I've been active again for a couple of weeks now, and so far, it's been great. I've been a part of the HP-fandom community since 2006, and I definitely missed the HPFF forums when they shut down. Now that I'm active again on HPFT, I'm excited to begin really transitioning to this site! Part of that has been changing my username and creating an HPFT archive account. The next step is transferring my HPFF stories over to HPFT and getting back into writing. So...I'm here for advice! You don't have to have read my stories to help out here, but if you have, I'd love to know that too as it might inform your advice also!

Of the 28 stories I have posted on HPFF, only 16 of them may come over to HPFT. The ones not being posted on HPFT are staying on HPFF as they are and will remain unedited potentially forever (as their quality isn't such that I feel they're salvageable—some are over ten years old!). Of the ones that may move, 9 almost certainly will, after being spruced up:

  • 1 novel: all 50 chapters of Rule Breaker will absolutely move, but will be retitled Collateral
  • 1 short-story: 3 chapters of Permanence
  • 7 one-shots: Requiem and ResurrectionHappy New Year, Hermione GrangerSirius Black: Matchmaker ExtraordinaireAfternoon TeaFor HerThe Final Journeyuh-lone

And 7 may move with significant changes:

  • Complete rewrites of As the Rain FallsFrom Ashes We RiseIn and Out of LoveSavior
  • On the fence about sprucing My Brother in light of actually experiencing this type of loss
  • May edit Eighteen Pleats to return it to OF, which I've written it as before
  • On the fence about The Parish, if I'm still interested in pursuing it

Finally, I have 6 much shorter one-shots that had previously been entries for HPFF House Cup events that I'm fond enough of that I may post them as well.


So, here's the part where I need advice! I understand that the HPFT queue allows two chapters at a time (and five at the beginning of the month). Should I post my shorter pieces (one-shots and the short story) first, or just bang out Rule Breaker and do the others later? I'm on the fence about what will be more logical. I'm working on the sequel to Rule Breakerhey, let's start calling it by its new name!—Collateral now, but don't have anything ready to post, but I'll want to edit the chapters of Collateral before it goes up, and...it's fifty chapters long.

Any advice? What would you do? What did you do if you've already transferred your stories from another site to this archive?

Thanks, friends!


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