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Squee-Worthy Reviews!

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dreamgazer220

Everything about this review from Aphoride is squee-worthy. My jaw dropped when I read it, thank you thank you :D

 

(It's AO3 for my Whispers in the Dark prologue!)

 

Hey Jill! :) So I should probably say from the outset that I'm very much a canon-pairings-in-the-end girl, haha, so Seamus/Ginny is a little new and strange for me - but, tbh, this is probably the best place to start looking at that pairing ;)

 

I love the scenario you've taken for the prologue - I hate doing them personally, haha, because they're so hard and such a pain, but sometimes they feel right - it's so tense and so emotive, and I love the way you use it to hint at something going on - emotionally, maybe more-than-emotionally, if you know what I mean ;) - between Ginny and Seamus and how it's developed over the time that's gone on. Plus, all the suggestions of just how horrible Hogwarts is under the Carrows, and how all the things which we were sort of told about in the books when the Trio got to Hogwarts happened: Seamus getting pretty badly hurt, Ginny being one of the ringleaders, the Carrows being in charge of 'discipline'. It's so clever of you to start with such a canon-compliant sort of moment and lead into the non-canon stuff, with the relationship, and it's really got me hooked :P

 

Your Ginny and Seamus are great, too - I love how Ginny's so fiery and probably is a little bit bitter about the fact that she doesn't know where Harry is or what he's up to, it's so in character for her and gives such a lovely depth to her character, you know, especially when you add in potential confusing feelings for Seamus. And how Seamus has to come and try and rescue her and get caught, or still go out even knowing that the Carrows will just get him anyway - it's the kind of stupidly brave bravery, haha, which he did kinda seem to have at times in the books and I love it. I love how the Carrows seem to know so much about what's going on between them, or are just assuming they're friends so they'll stand up for each other (or have seen them do it like a hundred times and know it'll happen again), and take advantage of it. It's so cruel, turning love and friendship into a weakness, but it's kinda scary and clever :/ Ugh... Carrows...

 

Your writing in this is so good. You do the tension and the emotions - the anger, the fear, the defiance, the heartbreak at the end - all so, so well, and they come through the story so clearly and so strongly. It's a real gift - it reads so easily in your writing, which isn't as easy as it can seem to the reader, and I love that. Your dialogue is so good, too - teach me how you do it! Please?! :P I struggle with dialogue so much - it's tricky to find the right words and phrasing for different characters, and you do it so well here. You've got Ginny perfectly, and the Carrows are so good - with the demands and the not-quite rhetorical questions.

 

Ahhh this is so good - I really wanna read more, but I gotta go do some more work (boo), but imma definitely look out for you in the review tag and things, because I've got to come back to this soon! :)

 

Aph xx

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teh tarik

I received a couple of short but really amazing reviews on FFN. Both readers had read to the end of my novel, which is something I'm already flailing about.

 

From Drifting17

I absolutely loved this entire story! It's probably the most well-written FanFiction I've ever read, it was wonderful. I've never read a FanFiction about Dumbledore and Grindlewald before as I was never that interested in the characters, but this fic has kept my attention the whole way through and it felt as though I really got to know the characters and the mystery behind them all. I really thoroughly enjoyed this whole fic, and I think the ending was brilliant too. Amazing work!

 

And from the iz:

oh my god this was incredibly good. so beautifully spun and so true to the characters. ariana's characterisation was riveting, very neil gaiman, and your take on death and the story is amazing. I think that rowling would be very impressed by this. it is literally everything I could have wanted from a closer look at this story. thank you!

 

<3333333333

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Diogenissa

Kenny (Starfeather) totally warmed my heart and made my day with the following review on Pocket Watch #1 -- Bittersweet Homecoming, Chapter 1.2! (tbh it made me near cry)

 

Hi, Karen! I came back here after a long time from "Review-mon Go!" activity.

 

Your descriptions about Barty Senior is perfect. Imagining how he showed no mercy to the suspects, I felt chill from your writing. It likely happened some innocent people were sent to Azkaban under Barty Senior's conduct.

 

I really missed your powerful words sequence. I love these expressions: "No matter whose expense, including his own flesh and blood."

 

"When the time was right he reasoned he'd tell his father everything and would make doubly sure he felt every word. Every. Single. Last. Word.

 

As I wrote down these words ^ , I felt your strong message, how people feel anger against forced obedience, especially when a father demands his son something he hates so much, we can guess the consequence will end badly.

 

You observed Barty's inner mind very well and created your world through his predicament, that's formidable and your style, Karen!

 

I would like to see how he loved his mother as well in the next chapter. I've never read about her anywhere, so I'm eager to see how you wrote about her and Barty.

 

Kenny

 

 

Thank you again Kenny -- you're amazing! <3 <3 <3 :)

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MegGonagall

mldcmx left me the most wonderful review on AO3. It was on the final chapter of The Fortunate Ones and really left me feeling warm and squishy. :)

 

 

Just when I thought this couldn't get anymore tragic. This was really, beautifully written! The most dominant thought I have of Lily was, she didn't really try all that much to reach out to Mary (it's been a while since I read the other chapters, and the wedding invite doesn't count). At the end, Mary went on about how Lily did love her a little, but I asked "did she really?" It was from Mary's POV so we may never know. I didn't really believe it, so it made this story even more tragic for me. Awesome work though! Thank you for writing such a lovely, high quality piece of a rare couple. It was really delightful to read.

 

I just received this from Kristin, and I am now a pile of sobbing goo on the floor. ❤️

 

SEE ALL THE SHARDS ON THE FLOOR? THOSE WERE MY HEART. until you broke it with this chapter.

 

Their confrontation in Lily's house was... well, it was painful, but at the same time it felt so necessary. Mary couldn't possibly have gone on with all that unsaid, and I don't think Lily realized how strongly Mary had been affected by their breakup. It was important for both of them, to be honest with each other, even if it meant reopening really old wounds. And at the time it was sort of like closure for Mary.

 

I do like that it helped her redefine her relationship with Reg, and how she realized that everything she craved from Lily and had never received were things Reg gave unconditionally - I think it helped Mary realize she sort of took him for granted, and that was also really important. He is a nice guy and I like that Mary finally appreciated him. I especially love that Mary was able to tell him about her history with Lily - she allows herself to be vulnerable and stop hiding, and Reg was supportive of her and makes her feel loved.

 

And that was the last time I'd ever seen Lily Evans. Well, the last time I'd seen her alive. -- UGH just when I'm annoyed at Lily you drop THIS line. *SOBBING*

 

shackled and dressed in Azkaban’s finest -- I know it shouldn't but this made me chuckle. Like, stripes are all the rage right now.

 

It was comforting to see that they hadn't managed to flatten his hair and it was just as ruffled and wind blown as always. -- this kills me. KILLS ME.

 

aaahh, her final conversation with Lily when it was too late... there are actual tears in my eyes right now. I have so many feels about this. I personally do think that Lily always did care about Mary, though probably not to the extent that Mary loved Lily, and not in the same way. And the fact that Mary only realizes it when it's too late, and their friendship has already fallen apart... that just makes it sadder. Just the thought that it turned out how it did when there could maybe have been a chance for them to reconcile, just breaks my heart. Yeah, it would have taken time and a lot of work, but. ugh. At the same time, they just didn't have a lot of time, and they spent most of it not talking to one another because it hurt too much (at least in Mary's case). Now I wonder what Lily's reason was. Because she wasn't thinking about Mary? Or because she knew Mary was hurt/not over her, and wanted to tread lightly and not bring up heartbreak for Mary again by being around her? Either way is sad. :(

 

this chapter broke my heart, even though I knew what was coming. But I loved it. I think that sentiment applies to the story as a whole, as well. I honestly loved this story so much, right from the very beginning. This was such a wonderful portrayal of these two girls, and through the lens of a ship I've never seen in any other story. It's so full of emotion and so real and so devastating. This is some of your most beautiful writing and you should be so proud. Congratulations on finishing the story!! ♥

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victoria_anne

This one literally just came in from Jill and I just want to roll around on the floor with it <3

 

BIANCA I'M SO HAPPY YOU UPDATED, I MISSED THIS STORY! ♥

 

Whoa. Whoa. Okay, so I knew it was going to be intense when I read the description, and it was! Poor Finn! :( Having to listen to his father's screams like that. It's so chilling, especially when you think about how everyone else is enjoying the first Quidditch game of the season when the real rivalry is going on not too far from there. I also love how you manage to convince me that yes, this is exactly how it happened! I just want to snuggle Finn though, is that okay? He has so much going on and he seems so stressed, poor baby.

 

AND SEBASTAIN! IS ADOPTED! WHAT! I know we knew this, but it's weird (and I'm sure it's weird for Finn) to see the certification, the proof. Ugh. There are SO MANY GOOD THINGS IN THIS CHAPTER, B.

 

Again, boys being boys. A+. I love that Finn still makes time for his friends and that they hang out like normal teenagers. Drinking and having fun. It was a nice balance and breath of fresh air within this chapter that had so much darkness.

 

TOM. TOM, YOU'RE TURNING INTO RIDDLE NOW AND I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE, UGH. I'm glad Finn's starting to feel uncomfortable around him though (like lol with the snake. Oh Tom) and that he so clearly doesn't agree with what he's doing but doesn't know how to step out of it. It's really showing Finn's character development.

 

AND SO MUCH FINNDLEY GOODNESS IN THIS CHAPTER! Broom closets and him telling her about Hero (WHY BIANCA WHY) :( I'm glad they're sort of mellowing out around each other, and Finn was so nervous it was her! IS THAT FORESHADOWING BIANCA? *glare*

 

FINNDLEY DEVELOPMENT. FINN DEVELOPMENT. SUPER DARK GRINDELWALD STUFF. Also your flawless writing.

 

What's not to love about this chapter?!

 

♥♥♥

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teh tarik

not gonna  lie, but the best thing (for me) about the old forums shutting down is me starting to post my works at other sites and updating my accounts at ffn and AO3. because over the last few months, I've received some of the most amazing comments from people I don't know but who read my fic, LPP, all the way to the end. & some of them make me want to cry a bit haha

 

From SofiaHolzerova on FFN:

This is honestly one of the best things I've read here, love your characterisation above all. Finally someone gave the characters the depth that they deserve, especially Aberforth and Arianna. This the result when a good story and a good writing are combined - something great. You rock I'm a fan!

 

 

From TobermorianSass on AO3

    I found this fic quite by accident on mugglenetfanfiction nearly a year? ago I think and it's been haunting me ever since. I love everything about this and the way you've woven the story around Grindelwald & the Dumbledores in a way that gives all of them interiority and intricacy - just the thoughtfulness with which each character is executed in this is incredible. I love also the fact that this is so much an Ariana story, that Ariana is a mover and shaker in this, rather than just a spectator. It's a fascinating and original take on her character - she's clever, so clever, and perceptive, but also oh so torn up and traumatized and haunted by death. I absolutely did not see that twist coming re. the Thimble reveal and actually made several excited squawking noises at my phone - and it was so perfect too. I'm really really in awe of the way you've woven all these various strands of plot together to come to the grand finale & its denouement.

 

    But the thing I love absolutely the most about this fic is the mythos of the Hallows you've worked into it, with the figures of the three women haunting the text and haunting the characters. Its also largely the reason this fic has become so indelibly printed on my brain: the imagery of the mythos and its workings is just so clear and visual and visceral and there. I adore it. Thanks for writing this incredible fic, I really really enjoyed reading it.

 

 

And from an anon Guest at FFN:

 

I was very impressed by this story, it managed to be entirely original and believable set within the Wizarding World, even going so far as to be canon-compliant.

It was stories like this that I had in mind when I began reading Harry Potter fanfiction, sadly I have found very few that are on the same calibre as your story.

I was most impressed by your characterisation of Grindelwald as I felt you captured the essence of the character hinted at in the books-he is arrogant, playful and violent (and despite it all I can't help but like him). Albus is very well characterised also, he definitely feels like a young Albus Dumbledore. Ariana in this is fascinating and I love your own origin tale to the Deathly Hallows (which I prefer over Beedle the Bard's version). I agree with other reviewers here it is indeed one of the best works I've seen and I can not understand how it does not have more reviews/favourites. I hope you continue to write works in a similar vein to this one (in my head I'm imagining a story on the founders).

Thank you for creating such a beautiful story!

 

:'( :'( :'(

 

 

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MegGonagall

Can we just all agree that Paula is the sweetest person on the planet? 😍 All of the reciews she left me on Fortuitous were amazing, but the first one was just so, so, so kind! Thank you, my love! ❤️

 

18th October 2016:

Hello lovely!

 

I'm starting with you for a project I've been working on for the past few months. Every week or so I'm trying to post reviews (prewritten) for some of my favorite people in the world. I’m mostly starting with you because you’re the sweetest (shh, don’t tell the others).

 

You have a lot to stories to choose from and I don’t typically read Snape stories for a number of reasons. Mainly oh my goodness some of the characterizations I’ve read are the most ridiculous things I could imagine. I’ve also never read a Snamione (is that what they are called?) but I saw this and I knew that if there was ever one to be my first, it should be yours. (I was right ny the way).

 

The prologue, while short in words, is not short in substance. You paint this just absolutely amazing scene here and maintain it. This is a thing I can't seem to do. I'm okay with writing pretty imagery for the first few lines and then just drop it. You've kept it alive and it makes your writing next level. I swear I could smell the river and hear the pop of her apparating. I could almost see him in the window and I can definitely feel the beat of her heart in my own. You're one of those writers that should absolutely be doing this for a living.

 

We’ve only got a glimpse of characterization but your Hermione feels so organic. Especially with the bit about her almost losing her nerve but then doing it anyway because she'd been working up the courage all too long and needed it get it over with. Your Severus is also mighty seductive for someone like me who isn’t always keen on him.

 

I had decided if I absolutely wasn’t into Snamione I wouldn’t post this review and I’d just pretend I never read it and you’d never ever know, but I am posting it and going to the next chapter.

 

Report Review |  Respond

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Dojh167

From Elisabeth on my Scorbus story "Dear Self-Satisfied Pompous Gorgeous Insufferable Assface"

 

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

 

I can't even.

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Stella Blue

Two lovely reviews that made my day!

 

This one on AO3, from erdufylla on Icarus:

I am so enjoying this WIP! I can't remember when I last enjoyed such a fanfic -- this one isn't just well written, the story is unique and interesting. I can't wait to see what happens to our spunky heroine next!

 

And from Felpata_Lupin on The Order of the Serpent:

HPFT Werewolf Team Review! :D

 

Hello, my lovely Kristin!

Finally here to catch up with this wonderful story!

 

I loved this chapter! Also, an Halloween chapter, how appropriate! :P

And some Marauders and Sirius/Melanie! Yay! Love it!!!

 

Ahahah! I loved Sirius Apparating right into the living room, that's so much like him. And they really resolved to conjure furniture every day! Eheheh! Definitely cheaper! ;)

 

The party was lovely. I enjoyed the choices for the costumes. And yes, Peter's was the best one! :P

 

That was an interesting discussion, about fate and free will. I guess a bit of both? Like choices influence fate and viceversa? But I think free will is predominant. Fate can give us conditions and opportunities but it's up to us to grasp them and build our own path. That's how I see it, at least...

 

Oh, Merlin! That was a really dark and unexpected turn! (Actually, I did expect something like that, because of the chapter title. It was still a bit of a shock that sudden change of mood).

 

Oh, Merlin! The poor man! Things are getting gruesome already... so scary... And poor Mandy and Melanie, they must've felt so guilty... But at the same time, it must've all been so sudden and so scary. I can't blame them for not intervening...

 

I really want to know what happens now, so please, update soon! I want to see Mandy in action! (I like Mandy, she's great!)

 

All my love and snowball hug!

Chiara

 

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Aphoride

So the last week has been very odd for me, and difficult in various different ways (though I've been here a lot more, which has been great <3), and today I got this review, which just completely made my week - and did not at all nearly make me cry, what are you talking about... From atrophied (traintravks) on ao3:

 

i honestly have no idea why this has no comments and i genuinely have no way or ounce of worth in order to articulate something truthfully about this pice of work. (can i even call it a fic?? that just seems demeaning and horrid to me in your context.) this is living breathing art,quite literally love. i want to liquefy it and inject it into my bloodstream and drown myself in this and store it in my lungs until it hurts to breath. in all honestly every word you write is holding the universe up and it could cause earthquakes and typhoons and still manage to feel like home.it hurts my soul and i thank you so much for that,this is breathtaking and beautiful and everything i've always wanted,you deserve the world and you're so talented it hurts my heart and makes me want to immortalise you. this should be considered literature. it is,to me personally. this is canon for me on every level and idk who you are and your life but golly gosh am i glad you're alive, x.

 

I just.... <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

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MegGonagall

I just received one of those reviews that leaves you speechless and makes you smile from ear to ear. It was left by a member named Alyoop on HPFF. This really made my day. It was on Saving Severus Snape.

 

I really wish I'd read more closely so that I could have left some constructive criticism, spotted any mistakes, or reviewed the other chapters... you know, something helpful?

 

The reason I didn't is this: you've written one of those stories. You know the kind - the kind that you draws you in and before you know it you've sat for a good hour(s) and devoured all that was there. It's a lovely thing, that. Update soon.

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MegGonagall

It's reviews like this one, from llamahat on AO3, that make me want to open my laptop and

raw

 

damn, I honestly never thought I'd ship hermione and snape until i read this fic, I'm loving it so far, can't wait for the next chapter ❤️

 

Squeeeee! SSS has converted someone!! 💚

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Stella Blue

If anyone had any doubts as to whether or not Renee is the loveliest person in the world, let me confirm: She is. This amazing review she left on Icarus really just made my whole week.

 

WHY AM I ONLY JUST NOW READING THIS FIC?????? And also, hello dear! *hug*

 

I am a bum and get really intimidated when I aim to review every chapter, so I'm ashamed to say I've waited until I was all caught up to review. (Just to be clear though, I read this in one night. It's 4:30am but I could.not.stop.)

 

I should probably try to write an actual review, since I've cheated you out of reviews on chapters 1-11, but I don't think I can do a true, thoughtful, composed sort review because, ahem, I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH OMG AND I CAN'T BE SENSIBLE WHEN I'M SHOUTY AND FULL OF LOVE FOR YOUR WRITING. Ugh, Kristin! You are SO GOOD. Every time I read something by you I am utterly blown away.

 

 

 

Things I Love About This Fic:

 

- Lily Luna. People don't write her all that often, and it's a shame. I really love how you've written her. She's smart and interesting and compassionate, but also insecure and rash; she so wonderfully human and it's beautiful. You get inside her head super well with the narration, too. Maybe I"m projecting a little here - it's very possible - but i get a strong sense that Lily tries to act like everything is fine for her, but really she isn't very happy or comfortable with herself or her life. For example, in her observation that time in the alternate universe has made her more assertive about making friends, I could see in her a lack of confidence and growth toward better confidence and I love that. You really set this up super well, because her life at home is kind of crappy - unemployment stinks, she's single and feels lonely about it, and now she'll need a new flatmate. (I also need a new flatmate. I wonder if Lily would have me? ;)) And that gives her sci-fi adventure so much punch because even though she messed up, it's clear why she *needed* to do this (not to her, perhaps, but to me), and the adventure isn't only a great adventure - it's a chance for growth. I think genre fiction misses that sometimes and I'm happy you haven't. It makes this story really rewarding to read.

 

- QUEER FEMALE PROTAGONIST. Enough said.

 

- also: FEMALE MUSLIM ENGINEER. AMAZING.

 

- For lack of a better word, it's simply really, really interesting. My personal head cannon is that the Big Conflict of the Next Gen era is the statute of secrecy, so I am biased in favor of this alternate universe idea. The way you lay out the recent history in the alt. universe is very clever. I think you're right on target in the implication that magic and technology can accomplish a lot more when paired together rather than isolated from each other. That said, I never would have imagined the idea for this fic, with space travel and other planets. It's so original and absolutely fascinating to read about. And the plot has me constantly on the edge of my seat. (I repeat: It is 4:30am. Could.Not.Stop.)

 

- Marta and Lance are both utterly captivating OCs. I adore Lance, and Marta is unpredictable. I think all stories need a good, solid, unpredictable someone in the mix. =) Generally, I enjoy all the OCs in this story, but those two are the big stand outs so far. (I suspect I will love some of the crew members, but I've only really had one chapter with them so I'm reserving judgement.)

 

- This is often quite funny. Unsurprisingly, since you are hilarious. (I love the puns. Never abandon the puns.)

 

- I like the pacing. I confess, at the beginning I was surprised we didn't get to the "sci-fi part" more quickly, and I felt a bit impatient. However, now that we're in the sci-fi part, I'm really glad you gave me some time to meet and understand Lily and her word and the people in her life, before things got crazy. Without that foundation, the rest of the story would not be nearly as engaging. I think you made a wise choice to focus on character first.

 

- i'm very very tired now and surely forgot important awesome things, so just in case: I like all the things about this story!

 

 

 

Things I Do Not Love About This Fic:

 

- lack of additional chapters

 

 

 

This story is very nearly as brilliant as you are, my dear, and that's saying a LOT.

 

Much love,

Renee

 

♥♥♥♥♥

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Diogenissa

Kevin (TidalDragon) just left me this absolutely awesome review in which I highly doubt I will ever find the words for on Braided:

 

Howdy Karen! I am stopping by with a birthday AND holiday wishlist review for you!

 

This story is so incredibly dark, but so incredibly well-written. There isn't often a lot of exploration of many of the Death Eaters beyond Barty Jr., Bellatrix, and Lucius and even then, most of it is done in the context of battle (or war over a longer period) which rarely leaves time for the mental delving you do with Dolohov here. Needless to say I think his characterization was excellent and the explanation of how he survives Azkaban relatively unscathed thanks to the depths of his evil and his sickening (if nevertheless incredibly unique) keepsake.

 

The flashbacks were also truly chilling thanks to your powerful and precise descriptions and painted Dolohov clearly as relatively equal-opportunity cold-blooded killer, which harkened back to the bit at the beginning of how Voldemort had lured him in, preying upon Dolohov's dark desires and demanding his loyalty in exchange for the perfect opportunity for him to kill with increasing freedom.

 

Incredibly well done.

 

I just can't --- thank you so much again! <3 <3 <3

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clevernotbrilliant

Just got the absolutely amazing review on To Whom It May Concern from Liz and I'm still freaking out about it tbh  ;D ;D

 

Tag... BvB... *salute*... I just... WOW.

 

Okay, I normally save technicals for last, but here recently I have been forgetting them by the time I get to write the review, so let me do this a bit backwards. This is the only thing I found:

 

-And I found the nails on a the ground.-

 

Okay, onto review! I just... WOW. Ivy is just so REAL to me. Like, literally, I could be here. I'm not stuck behind a desk, but I'm stuck in a factory and all my friends went off to school and are doing their things and I just... I need Ivy to be real so we can bemoan our lives together! So, ahem, I obviously connect with Ivy... >.> But seriously, you put a lot of backstory into this first chapter- hinting at the unrequited romance, explaining how hopes and dreams became paying the bills while her friends lived their hopes and dreams? And the whys as well- family names go a long way! And I already love Wesley- he's my kind of beloved comic relief side character.

 

The interview was amazing- even as it was happening, the reverence with how they talked about the Nundu had me sitting here, imagining it, loving every second of it, big silly grin on my face. How do you WRITE so well? SERIOUSLY! You already have me hooked and there's only one chapter, that's not FAIR! I normally go for the one-shots so that I don't get trapped, but this looked so interesting and I wanted to read one with Molly and I found it interesting that Harriet was a Dursley and I got SUCKED IN! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT.

 

Okay, in side note, I think I know how Rose felt now... Anyway...

 

In short, this is so freaking amazingly written, the characters are just- I can't even begin to tell you how much I love them and there's only been four so far and I barely know Harriet! I'm so looking forward to the rest of this, I can't wait to see what you do with it!

 

-Liz

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dreamgazer220

I got this amazing review from Aph and it just totally made my day <3 <3

 

Hey there, Jill! :) So I thought I'd stop by this one, since I've seen it around and anything dark/mysterious/tragic is right up my alley :)

I don't generally tend to read that much Hogwarts Era stuff - too many weird AUs, haha - so this is slightly odd for me, but a good odd :) I love the way this is set in the fourth year - so much potential for interesting things! The Yule Ball, the tasks... so much stuff! Especially with the twins, and the whole Fred-taking-Angelina to the ball thing :P

I love the way you set this up, too - with the conversations with Cate's ex-boyfriend and then her brother and the twins. It's so mysterious, giving so little away - obviously something happened over the summer which seriously shook her, but you don't say anything about what, which is so frustrating, but so perfect for a first chapter :P And then the thing about 'Cate's reckless summers' - oooh, this is already exciting, and throwing up so many questions!

Your characters are great too. I just wanna say first how much I love that Rob and Cate haven't just fallen out of love or stopped caring about each other now their relationship's over - it's so real to life and can be so painful, but people rarely seem to remember to include that side of it in fic, you know? So yeah, I love that - it's a small thing, but it's so good :) Cate's great, too - I love how she's friends with Fred, et al., how she's so hesitant to talk about personal things, gets snippy easily, and just struggles with emotions. It happens and it's something I love seeing portrayed well, like you do it, because it's often just Another Convenient Character Trait To Emphasise The Growing True Love Between X And Y, because she'll talk to him, ofc (grr :P). But she's so real - as all of your characters are - and Rob is too, and I can't really hate either of them, because there's so much you haven't told us yet, but it's so awkward and painful and hard, and they're both struggling so much with whatever's gone on. Poor chillins :P Also, you do the twins and Angelina, etc. fantastically well. I have no idea how, because I struggle with them so much - I've never written them and never will, too scared :P - but you've nailed them there and it's super impressive :)

As always your writing is wonderful - you have such a lovely style in this, with the introspective sections, and your beautiful dialogue framing it all. It's so lovely, and so clean and emotive - you write so compact but there's so much in it, you know? You don't waste words - everything is written so precisely and so perfectly.

And that last line is so harrowing and so weighty. It's a great ending :)

I really, really enjoyed reading this :) I'll have to come back some time ;)

Aph xx

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BellaLestrange87

I just got the most amazing review on Hanging on a Wandtip:

 

I'm amazed at how much you were able to accomplish in 756 words.  Like, wow, I'm so pumped for what's coming.  I'm not sure how you did it but I feel like I can totally picture everything in my head.  The man standing in the freezing cold to the fact that it's pitch black to the fact that we clearly have some untoward characters in a room scheming about something. And I feel this "don't blink or you might miss it!" mood oozing out of the chapter. 

 

Your description of death is so well done.  This may be blasphemy on this website but those last 3 paragraphs may be better than any description of death I've read from the great JK herself. 

 

At this point, my review is probably as long as your chapter!  So I'm just going to finish with a well done and I'm excited for the next chapter.

 

A better description of death than JKR herself?  ;D

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StarFeather

Thanks to Margaret, I decided to set this one-shot to begin with another journey with Harry.

 

Love the mention of the currach.

 

*grins at their having taken part in a boat race*

 

Sadly, the Traveller's wife dying young is only too realistic. The life expectancy among the Travelling Community is extremely low - 61 for men and 70 for women.

 

This sentence sounds a little odd: "James sensed Lily use the magic." Did you mean "James sensed that Lily had used magic"?

 

There should be a comma after "she isn't a doctor's daughter," and not a full stop as "he replied" is part of the same sentence.

 

I'm also not sure he would say that at all. While it was usual in the '70s and '80s for members of the Travelling Community to leave school after primary school and he probably WOULDN'T expect his daughter to go on to any kind of secondary school, it was also the law that children had to attend school until the age of 15 and pretty much everybody except the Travelling Community would have done so. Free secondary education had been introduced more than 10 years before this story, so I'm not sure remaining at school beyond the age of 14 (which had been the legal age for a long time before it was raised to 15) would be associated with the wealthy. Especially when the Mercy, Presentation and Christian Brothers orders had been providing education to the sons and daughters of the poor for over 100 years by this point.

 

The Travelling Community leaving school so early is partly due to discrimination that meant schools probably didn't care to try and ensure their attendance and partly due to cultural differences between the Travelling and settled communities.

 

I like the fact that Snape tried to warn her.

 

I imagine Hogwarts would be quite difficult for a girl from the Travelling Community - being completely unable to leave the school for two years and then only leaving on the odd weekend when she is used to being outside almost constantly, continuing her education and being treated in many ways as a child at an age when her culture would say she should be an adult and thinking of marriage, being surrounded by settled people who she would certainly have had negative experiences with. And then all the difficulties of being a Muggleborn at Hogwarts.

 

The Travelling Community are vastly underrepresented in fiction so good to see them here.  (reviewed by MargaretLane at "Life on the Run, Chapter 1: A Currach on the Shore") 

 

Her story challenge in the old site was so fun to write. I wish she'll have time to set another story challenge. Her thoughtful prompts and her voice in the community are our treasure!

 

 

 

 

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dreamgazer220

Claire left an absolutely amazing review on chapter 1 of Two Birds, One Stone today that just totally made my day. :D

 

There is literally nothing that I do not like about this story. Absolutely, literally nothing.

 

Jill I freaking love this so much. I relate to Hannah way too much for my own good. Like seriously, I think I would be in love with her if James didn't also exist. They are so incredibly real and I feel like I really know them and want them to be my best friends. But really, I love how James immediately jumps to Hannah's defense and offers to beat the jerkface up. He's a real ride or die and we all need someone like him in our lives.

 

I also love all of the backstory that you've peppered in throughout this. It's just the right amount to give me a sense of the characters, but not overload me with info. You also set your world up so well, especialy with the bits about Tom and Hannah and James' standing Thursday night dinner.

 

IS THIS A FAKE DATING FIC OH MY GOD I HAVE BEEN BLESSED BY THE LORD GOD ABOVE

 

...ahem...

 

Anyway, I can't see how this could possibly go wrong. Nothing at all, nope. Smooth sailing from here on out, am I right folks?

 

Oh, crap, I forgot to comment on the fact that shE IS DEAN AND SEAMUS'S DAUGHT I AM ONCE AGAIN WHAT THE KIDS CALL BLESSED

 

Also: "..she all but laughed in my life..."--> I think it should be laughed in my face?

 

In all seriousness, I'm really sorry that you gave me this really nice supportive review and then I give you this jumbled mess of a review. But just know that I truly love this and once I'm no longer drowning in semester projects (aka probably tomorrow when I'm procrastinating :P)

 

Just <3 <3 <3

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MegGonagall

Oh my god, Em always leaves the best reviews ever! This was so sweet, yet also hilarious. I laughed out loud at one point, and my fiancé looked at me like I was a crazy person lol. Love ya, Em!!

 

This was left on my new fic, Hermione's Totally Accidental Time-Traveling Mishap on AO3.

 

MEG

 

This is one of the most fantastic things I have read ever. The way you've typed up your characterisation is absolutely brilliant—I loved how you so blatantly pointed out the their quirks, but in the most creative way possible. I like how you don't explicitly say that Hermione could straighten her bushy hair with magic, but rather that Hermione is so terrific at magic and she's got this bushy hair she wants to, but doesn't straighten with magic. It's more of a here is fact one, oh and here is fact two, they may or may not have anything to do with each other, you decide.

 

Brilliant.

 

'The bat of the dungeons.' YOU'RE SO AMAZING.

 

All the adjectives ever used to describe Snape in one paragraph—genius. His always billowing black robes has brings this image to my mind that there's just some fan somewhere in his classroom and it's sole purpose is to make his robes billow—like some model's hair in a pantene commercial.

 

Speaking of models. . . Sirius Black. OH MY GOODNESS, MEG. Your descriptions of him are nothing short of phenomenal. I mean, you've always been terrific with descriptions though. ;) Is his glorious mane of perfectly-conditioned hair constantly billowing as a result of some unseen source of wind too?

 

Emmett, I cannot wait to see where you go with this story because it is truly, truly fantastic—everything you write gets me excited for more of it and this story is no different. So KEEP WRITING BESTESTHPFTBFFSOULSISTERBRAINTWINFRAND BECAUSE YOU'RE FANTASTIC.

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Aphoride

Got this review this morning and honestly, I don't know whether it's incredibly lovely or incredibly sad - both, possibly - and it's strangely emotive, but I just had to post it here because it's so, so sweet and was really an amazing surprise :) <3 (From a x. on ao3 on chapter 27 of L'optimisme)

 

it's 11:27 p.m here on a random tuesday in june in a tiny town in ireland,and i'm sitting here just wondering how something can possibly hurt so bad yet heal so much. i actually have tears in my eyes and a really heavy heart and i just finished my last final in secondary school today and i feel so lost. yet this brings me solace and hope and just thank you for posting today of all days and thank you for allowing me to feel a sense of home when my own physical house is just a shadow of what it once was. thank you for existing and for reminding me of the inexplicable powerful magic of art. i need to read this so many more times so it can seep into my bones and reside in my ribcage till all i am is just dust. just thank you for everything and your beautiful brain. anything that i am ever going to be capable of saying will never be enough.

 

(Honestly, I have no idea how I'm meant to respond to this at all...)

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MuggleMaybe

Wow, Aph! That review is beautiful!

 

Meanwhile, I got this wonderful review from our very own Dojh167

HERE FOR THIS

 

I love both Lee and Oliver, but they are both so blatantly wrong for Alicia (our headcanons or not).

 

Having a first kiss during a quidditch after party makes me think of Harry and Ginny’s first case in HBP, and though this kiss is quite different, it’s a nice nod to that.

 

I like the ambiguity you used to describe Alicia’s awkwardness around Lee in the beginning. It’s not totally clear if it’s because she likes him or because she doesn’t, or a mixture. I think that works really well, because the root of those feelings isn’t totally clear to Alicia either.

 

There is a great simple evocativeness to a lot of your lines, like “She’d just leaned over and done it, no trouble. Like it was nothing. But kissing wasn’t nothing. Kissing was something.” and “prayed they’d forget the question so she didn’t have to say not yet out loud.” These lines work really well because they feel very earnest and genuine.

 

I’m really glad Alicia ended that kiss when she knew she didn’t like it.

 

I’m not sure if the timeline of this lines up with My First Date(s), but in my mind the stories are part of the same universe. Not actually the Polyverse, because I don’t think that Oliver has ever considered kissing a girl in his life, but maybe a little bubble universe. Polyverse AU.

 

“She could have a crush on Oliver” This is so real, kill me now. That wanting to be normal. Wanting to like a boy not for the sake of the boy, but for the sake of liking a boy. Deciding to have feelings that aren’t there. This really gets me.

 

“It was cool and vacant, like arriving at an empty house. Nobody home. They pulled apart.” WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN’T ALL THAT GREAT, IT’S PERFECT

 

Did Oliver think it was a date or not? His behavior when asking her to go seemed like it, but not during. I’m applying my He’s Super Gay headcanon to this story.

 

One thing I really like about this is that Alicia doesn’t necessarily spend a lot of time anguishing about her sexuality, but more that the factors that she would anguish about are underlying anyway. It’s very real. Obviously

 

I enjoy your characterization of Katie. “Always sweet, and kind, and deceptively fierce” is a great description. Gryffinpuff?

 

I know I said Polyverse Katie doesn’t have partners other than Alicia, but she might test that for one night with Angelina. Those three girls together…. It needs to happen at least once.

 

Oh, Katie has a secret crush? I would expect the truth or date to focus on Alicia, so that was interesting.

 

“Someone turned on the wireless and why hadn’t they already been dancing? Dancing was brilliant. The Weird Sisters were brilliant. Other people joined them on the dance floor, and that was brilliant.” That line is brilliant.

 

All the hugs for everyone who needs them for the end of that section.

 

Omg the three girls hanging out is so intensely beautiful and nostalgic. How did you make that so magic.

 

I was surprised with Katie being so bold in “Alicia lifted a finger and traced the outline of Katie’s form.” Or did she mean that in a platonic way? XP It read as incredibly sensual, so I was a bit confused about how sensual the characters both thought it was.

 

Face touching. How are they still making words. xD

 

“and oh, god, she had never considered this.” Mic drop.

 

That ending. The last eight paragraphs. Chills and tears.

 

I really really love this. And, you, obviously.

 

Fun fact, the first time I saw the title I accidentally read it as “Skewered By Truth.” Kinda different.

 

Sam.

 

This review made my whole week, honestly, because I can tell Sam was almost as excited about the ship as I am. And also because her Katie/Alicia is one of my most favorite fics <3

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clevernotbrilliant

So Sian always leaves amazing reviews and she left this absolutely perfect one on Hypothetically that absolutely made my day <3

 

 

Hi Claire!

 

Ah, I loved this!  I know you said that you weren't really sure what you'd planned to do with this story (or at least that it didn't come out the way that you'd initially imagined it) but I really enjoyed this story.  I loved the way that it felt so understated and subtle and yet it dealt with something that was so huge for the characters.

 

Your characterisation of Seamus and Parvati in this piece was really great - I haven't read very much of Seamus in fic when he's not with another character that he's romantically involved with (let's be honest, it's usually Dean :P) or fighting against the Carrows, so it was really nice to see this moment of friendship between him and Parvati and get to explore their characters in that context. 

 

The way that you opened this, with Seamus's frustration and his confusion over his feelings for Dean was great - I kind of wanted to reach out to him and give him a hug, but I was really pleased to see the strength of his friendship with Parvati, and the fact that he felt like he could talk to her about his feelings (hypothetically, of course) for Dean.  Of course, part of that is probably because he suspects Parvati's feelings for Lavender and knows that she'll understand, but I really enjoyed reading that friendship between them.

 

The ending was so lovely to see, with the more hopeful prospects for the future - Parvati is definitely right! <3

 

Sian :)

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dreamgazer220

I went and requested a staff review on my newest fic, mostly hoping for some honest feedback since it was a fandom and pairing I'd never written before.  Paula left me a review that had me grinning from ear to ear, even as I went into work:

(There be spoilers ahead - you've been warned)

Quote

Hello lovely!

I’m so glad that you’re stuck firmly in the bellarke camp with me. Also no spoilers, but the foreshadowing here is truly unbelievable. I can’t wait for you to get to the part and then look back and then be like ‘whoa, I’m a prophet’.

I am in love with the way you’ve portrayed post trauma Clarke with the whole love is weakness thing and not feeling anything outside of guilt and grief since

Spoiler

Finn’s death in regards to Lexa’s death,

but then WHAM! She’s having a fit because she dreamed she killed Bellamy. Like sagging in relief when seeing him. Mhmm. And I mean really her grieving after

Spoiler

Lexa

seems right. I mean,

Spoiler

she loved Lexa

, but she also loves Bellamy, even if it’s like pulling teeth to get them together because they’re seriously the most stubborn.

Ugh I hate Pike. Just the mention of his name makes me think rude thoughts. And the whole Pike’s spying thing really gives me nasty big brother feels. He’s the worst.

I think you’ve seriously nailed the easy banter between Clarke and Bellamy. The dialogue flows really well and sounds true to the show and their relationship in general. I really liked this line "But since I see everything's fine, I'll leave you to your one-man war." because it feels so much like a Clarke/Bellamy interaction. She’s always calling him out on his martyrness (totally a word) and he’s always battling something or other. They are a little rough around the edges and almost seem callous toward each other, but there’s so much underlying concern and love for each other. It’s like he just can’t rest in peace. Although clearly she can’t either since she’s waiting on Roan or the other grounders to betray them.

This entire prelude was so heartbreaking for me. Like him not siding with her over Pike absolutely shattered my soul so to see the uneasiness here brings that feeling back. The idea of Clarke spitting on the jacket made me laugh a little though. She has the same reaction to it that Octavia had.

“Now that she thought about it, there was probably a very good reason she shot him in her dream.” Yeah I full on snorted with this line.

Honestly can’t a guy take a hint and go after the girl? Absolute idiot.

Also after seeing the state that Jasper ends up in I can’t imagine wanting to try his method of coping. I guess if you’re desperate, right?

I’m glad he came back for her. Y’know. Like she eventually came back for him.

WE DESERVE THIS TO BE CANON. THE KISS! I’m counting it as a canon.

I really like the mirroring of “you think I’m an idiot?” that was totally 10/10 fluffy cuteness.

Okay, so the characterization of everyone, not just Bellamy and Clarke, was wonderful. I know the others were just background mentions, but it all just felt right. I’ve spent the last week reading Bellarke fanfics and honestly even if this wasn’t your fic it’d still be in the top of my list. So cute! So well done! And most importantly it left me feeling happy and warm hearted with just the right amount of angst which is all I really need in life.

Everything about this review is squee-worthy, from her specific feedback to the lines that she points out. I look at it every time I need to smile, so thank you!! :wub:

Edited by dreamgazer220

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Veritaserum27

I woke up to this short but sweet gem left by hereiskkb

Quote

I just binge read the entire thing in 2 days! And I have got to say, this has been one of the most satisfying fanfics I have ever read! I thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this story! And I beg you to keep writing! Scorpius stting against the head of the bed with Rose and Carina embraced within his arms just melted my heart! I literally cried, and I haven't done that for the HP universe since reading The Deathly Hallows! Thank you for these feelings... and here's to hoping you continue as soon as you can!

P.S. : Scratch that last line! Take your time and just blow us away!
 

Oh, man.  I *needed* this review today.  :wub:

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