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Alopex

Staff Review Thread

Recommended Posts

StarFeather

Link to Chapter(s): Chapter 4 HP and Druidic Magic (M)  (Though I know you may feel hard to jump in the middle of multi-chaptered story,  I don't think it's so hard, 'cause the story begins around Hogwarts Rebuilding. ) 
Word Count: 2250 words
Summary: Someone will be missing.
Advisories: Hate Speech, Sexual Content, Spoilers, Violence 
Genre: Action/ Adventure, Angst, AU, Crime /Mystery, Hurt/ Comfort, Romance
Main Characters: Harry Potter / Ginny Weasley
Ships: Harry / Ginny
Areas of Concern: I think more descriptions are needed here and there. Please let me know where to add more descriptions if you find. Any thoughts welcome.
Preferred Staffer (if applicable): I really appreciate anybody who will spare your precious time for this.

Edited by StarFeather

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CambAngst

Here is an odd duck among my A/P. Curious what somebody thinks of it:

 

Link to Chapter: Dark Legacy (M)

Word Count: 7,610

Summary: “They’ve lived like this for hundreds of years,” the witch replied. “When the Statute of Secrecy was adopted, most of us chose to hide in plain sight. They didn’t want to conform. They chose this life instead.”

Advisories: Domestic Abuse, Sexual Content, Violence

Genre: Action/Adventure, Crime/Mystery, Drama

Main Characters: Susan Bones, Justin Finch-Fletchley

Ships: None

Areas of Concern: I've never felt quite sure about the underlying premise of the story. I based it on one short line in one of Roisin's chapters about recidivist wizarding families passing down heirloom wands. I'm curious whether the primitives in this story are something that feels like it "fits" in the HP universe.

Preferred Staffer: I'm most grateful to anyone who is able to spare the time.

 

Thanks!

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pookha
On 8/9/2017 at 8:45 AM, Alopex said:

[b]Link to Chapter(s):[/b]Time Well Spent (M)
[b]Word Count:[/b] 3700
[b]Summary:[/b] Harry has a terrible breakup with Ginny and starts to spend more time with Luna. A seventh year story.
[b]Advisories:[/b] substance abuse
[b]Genre:[/b] angst, romance, hurt/comfort
[b]Main Characters:[/b] Harry, Luna
[b]Ships:[/b] Harry/Luna (duh, does no one know me at all )
[b]Areas of Concern:[/b] This was an early story of mine, so feel free to comment on anything. 
[b]Preferred Staffer (if applicable):[/b] anyone is fine


 

I always have trouble with this form for some reason...

 

Edited by pookha

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Ineke

I did StarFeathers!

 

Slot 1: CambAngst

Slot 2: pookha

Slot 3:

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Shadowkat678

Story and Author Name, including link: A Christmas in Azkaban (M) by shadowkat678

Word Count: 2707 words

Summary

Hope is like a flickering candle. It can be snuffed out, but it can also be relit.

The Christmas Eve before Sirius' escape, an unlikely encounter with two young Aurors drags up memories of a time thought forgotten long ago...

Warnings and Advisories: Rated T for violence and spoilers. Deals with implied PTSD and depression. 

Genre: Angst, Dark/Horror, General

Main Characters: Sirius Black

Ships: NA

Areas of Concern: I remember being told in one older review that I used "telling" more in this oneshot than I normally do, and was wondering if some spots could be picked out with suggestions on how to "show" more. Also, I feel like the dialogue is awkward, as short a section as it is. As that's my weakest point in writing I'm not sure how to fix it, but I'd really like some suggestions. I tried to edit it before taking it from the HPFF archives and moving it to here, but something still feels wrong. Since I'm entering this in Call For Stories, I'd like to fix anything that would sound weird read aloud if possible.

Prefered Staffer: NA

Edited by LadyL8
Added rating to mature link

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TidalDragon

Kat's review is complete!

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Renacerá

Current list:

 

Slot 1: CambAngst  (@RoxiMalfoy has claimed this!)

Slot 2: pookha

Slot 3:

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1917farmgirl

Can I get on this list?  And is it okay if I just throw my author's page up here, because I'm not sure who will end up getting my review?  It someone snags it that has been reading my Merlin story, I'd love you to go on to the next chapter if you want.  If not, or if you are tired of that story, feel free to just pick whatever. :)

If this isn't how this is supposed to work, please feel free to just ignore me. 

1917farmgirl (K-M stories)

Edited by 1917farmgirl

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Alopex

I have done pookha's review.

  1. CambAngst ( @RoxiMalfoy are you still doing this?)
  2. 1917farmgirl
  3.  

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Pixileanin

Oh, is that an open slot I see??

 

Oh To Dream, Oh To Sleep

Link to Chapter(s):http://archive.hpfanfictalk.com/viewstory.php?sid=1701 (A)
Word Count:1923
Summary:  Gideon Prewett is tired. And hungry.
Advisories:none
Genre: Action/Adventure, General
Main Characters: Gideon and Fabian Prewett
Areas of Concern:  It's new. I'm insecure.
Preferred Staffer (if applicable): Whoever can stand it the best.  ;)

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MegGonagall

I did Jill’s review. :) 

  1. CambAngst ( @RoxiMalfoy are you still doing this?)
  2. Pixileanin
  3.  

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MegGonagall

1. Pixileanin

2. 

3. 

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just.a.willow.tree

hi :ninja: 

Link to Chapter(s): five lives+ (M)
Word Count: ~6800
Summary: Four lives Astoria saved. And then the fifth.
Advisories: hate speech, sexual assault, violence
Genre: general
Main Characters: Astoria Greengrass
Ships: n/a
Areas of Concern: Just want to hear your thoughts on the development of each section! Thank you <3

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Renacerá

1. just.a.willow.tree

2. 

3. 

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Levana
Posted (edited)

Link to Chapter(s): Then Time Stood Still (M)
Word Count: 4,360
Summary:  

Quote

He didn't want to believe it, George tried to deny the truth that was right in front of him. At a certain point though, he couldn't continue to deny it. The missing presence by his side, the second half of a joke that was left unsaid, left a gaping hole in his heart. It was the missing hand on the famous Weasley clock though, that was final piece of evidence. After seeing that, George couldn’t deny it anymore; Fred was gone, and he wasn’t coming back

Advisories: Suicide
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Main Characters: George Weasley, Ron Weasley
Areas of Concern:  the flow and how I handled the themes and characterization
Preferred Staffer (if applicable): anyone who has the time, thank you <3

Edited by Levana

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MegGonagall

1. just.a.willow.tree

2. Levana

3. 

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Veritaserum27

I've just completed just.a.willow.tree's review!  Here it is.

Two slots open.

1. Levana

2. 

3.

  • Thanks 1

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Slytherin_Ravenclaw_Chick
Posted (edited)
 
Word Count: 2003
Summary: A Hufflepuff would never blackmail a head boy, tell off a professor, or join a secret society. That would just be Reckless.
Advisories: M for safety, will have some strong language and mild sexual scenes in later chapters
Genre: Drama
Main Characters: Albus Potter, Rose Weasley, Scorpius Malfoy, Alice Longbottom (Jr), and an OC Hufflepuff
Ships: Albus/OC, Rose/Scorpius 
Areas of Concern: Honestly this is a story that I’ve been working on for years now rewriting and trying to get this idea actually out on paper (or rather digitally) and I want to make sure it well written, compelling, and that the characters are interesting. 
Preferred Staffer (if applicable):[/b]  any would be wonderful :) 
Edited by LadyL8
Unrated mature link

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potionspartner

Link to Chapter(s):http://hpfanfictalk.com/archive/viewstory.php?sid=1832 (Mature Rating)

Word Count:All seven chapters (still WIP) is about 15,000 but the chapters run between 1700 and 2700. Please review any chapter you want.

Summary: Voldemort has returned and Severus Snape has survived his first meeting with him; however, his position is insecure and his loyalties questioned by his master.  Desperate to convince the Dark Lord of his obedience, Snape launches a plan to appease him. It should take years to develop giving Dumbledore and Potter the time they need to fulfill the prophecy.  However, when Voldemort changes the plan, Severus realizes that he has inadvertently brought a muggle to the
attention of the Death Eaters. Now he is trying to save her from evil all while convincing her that he is actually part of it.

Advisories: hate language, sexual content (brief), sexual assault (one-mostly implied), substance abuse, violence (Voldy strikes again.)

Genre: General, Romance, Little bit of Dark

Main Characters: Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore, Remus Lupin, Voldemort, Original Character

Ships:Severus Snape/OC

Areas of Concern: Characterization, adding detail, anything constructive you can add Preferred Staffer (if applicable):

THANK YOU FOR YOUR IDEAS/INPUT!

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Alopex
On 3/30/2018 at 11:41 PM, Slytherin_Ravenclaw_Chick said:
 
Word Count: 2003
Summary: A Hufflepuff would never blackmail a head boy, tell off a professor, or join a secret society. That would just be Reckless.
Advisories: M for safety, will have some strong language and mild sexual scenes in later chapters
Genre: Drama
Main Characters: Albus Potter, Rose Weasley, Scorpius Malfoy, Alice Longbottom (Jr), and an OC Hufflepuff
Ships: Albus/OC, Rose/Scorpius 
Areas of Concern: Honestly this is a story that I’ve been working on for years now rewriting and trying to get this idea actually out on paper (or rather digitally) and I want to make sure it well written, compelling, and that the characters are interesting. 
Preferred Staffer (if applicable):[/b]  any would be wonderful :) 

We just noticed this is a story posted someplace else, and the staff review thread is for stories posted on the HPFT archives.  But even if it weren't, HPFF has unfortunately disabled the reviewing function, so we cannot fill this request anyway.  :(

The list currently stands as follows:

  1. Levana (claimed by @TidalDragon)
  2. potionspartner
  3.  

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MegGonagall

Two slots open! 

1. Levana (claimed by @TidalDragon)

2.

3.

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scooterbug8515

Link to Chapter(s): Life Reflected in Death (M)
Word Count: 3044 words
Summary: When faced with death Regulus cannot help but reflect on his life and the things that brought him to this point.
Advisories: Sexual Content, Violence
Genre: Angst, Dark/Horror
Main Characters: Kreacher, Regulus Black, Sirius Black, Voldemort/Tom Marvolo Riddle
Areas of Concern: Flow and feel of the story.  Would love to know how this reads.
Preferred Staffer (if applicable): Any staffer

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Alopex

I have done scooterbug's review, so we have two spots free now. :)

  1. Levana ( @TidalDragon are you still claiming this?)
  2. -
  3. -

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TidalDragon

We're wide open for requests friends!

1.

2.

3.

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StarFeather
Posted (edited)

I'm in the state of writer's block. :headwall: A kind encouragement will be helpful or stern concrete feedback will keep me going. Thank you in advance.

Any story you feel like reading, I'll really appreciate for.

My works (T to M)

(If you need specify it,

Link to chapter: Chapter 6, HP and Druidic Magic (M)

Word Count : 2242 (Mine is really rubbish. I know I could write more in detail...)

Summary: Morgana, an ancient witch tries to use Verina, Bellatrix Lestrange's secret child. 

Harry tries to keep going while sometimes his dark past haunts him.

Advisories: Hate Speech, Sexual Content, Spoilers, Violence 

Genre: Action/ Adventure, Angst, AU, Crime/ Mystery, Hurt/ Comfort, Romance 

Areas of Concern : How to create the villains, how to build up the characters or any thoughts will be welcomed.

(I managed to let the villains enter.  Just a vision popped up right now. I might be able to describe her like the one, for example, in Selene's fic... )

Preferred Staffer (if applicable): Anyone who likes reading Action, Adventure, Crime, Mystery, Hurt, Angst...

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by StarFeather

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