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Stella Blue

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Story and Author Name, including RATED link:Fight or Flight (M)

Warnings and Advisories:Violence, Hate Speech, Sexual Situations 

Genre:Drama 

Length: 4400 Words

Ships: Rolf Scamander and Luna Lovegood and Charlie Weasley & Rolf Scamander

Summary: Rolf Scamander makes a mistake and turns his back.  

Areas of Concern: Plot, Characterization, Dialogue Culture, Anything.   This was written for the August Prefect Challenge.  

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  • 4 months later...

This thread is open again for requests!

 

(This thread is not limited by review slots - I'll take any requests, and reviews are done on a first come- first served basis.)

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Kristin! :wub: You know I can't resist your review thread, right? :P

Can I request for chapter 16 of Jimmy? Also, is it okay if I don't use the form? (I just woke up, I'm too tired for fancy posts...) :$

Love you! Snowball hug!

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Oh well, in that case...

Story and Author Name, including RATED link: Right party (M), Tecla Sunrise
Warnings and Advisories: profanity
Genre: Humor, romance
Length: 1817 words (complete)
Ships: Oc/James ii vaguely mentioned
Summary: It's a prequel of my other short story Wrong number, but it's not necessary to read it: it's a short one-shot in which my oc goes to a party and realises she needs to stop moping and move on!
Areas of Concern: Grammar! I'm such a noob at writing in english and your rules are sometimes different, and also vocabulary/phrasing! thank you so much :loveshower:

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Kristin's review thread is back?! :bliss:

Story and Author Name, including RATED link: Haunting Shadows (M) by dreamgazer220
Warnings and Advisories: eating disorders, sexual content, substance abuse, violence
Genre: angst, drama, hurt/comfort, romance, crime/mystery
Length: Chapter 9 is 2850 words
Ships: Fred Weasley I/OC, OC/OC
Summary: 

Quote

 

“Get some sleep.  Insomnia isn’t romantic.” 

After a terrifying night in July, 1994, her life is changed forever.  While Hogwarts hosts the TriWizard Tournament, Catherine Lawrence isolates herself into sleepless nights while she struggles to come to terms with her new reality. As she attempts to decipher if the voices and the ghosts haunting her are real or imaginary, Catherine fails to notice those who reach out.  But Fred Weasley could be the one person to shed light into her fortress - if she can learn to let him in.

 

Areas of Concern: This is a big chapter - not length wise, but content wise, so I'm curious to see how the reveal goes in terms of narration and story-telling; it goes back and forth between past and present, so I'm wondering what you think about that, and how effective it was to reveal some of the truth; I'm also curious about characterization in regards to reactions. Also: this has a trigger warning for a panic attack, so if you're not comfortable reading that, I totally understand! 

Thank you! :hug:

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Story and Author Name, including RATED link: Lightning Love (m)
Warnings and Advisories: sexual content, violence 
Genre: Humor, romance, drama
Length:  16k/ 5 chapters 
Ships: all of them. Lily/lysander, them/ ocs
Summary: 

Love strikes as fast as lightning and burns as slow as the sun for some. With others it takes many attempts to combust and backfires with an unpleasant bang. For some the spark never comes at all.

What will be the love story of Lily and Lysander? 
Areas of Concern: Is the story interesting? I'm having serious doubts about it and think the plot is too slow or not captivating. 

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Story and Author Name, including RATED link: The Bro Code (M) by Wandlessmagic
Warnings and Advisories: Contains profanity, Scenes of a mild sexual nature
Genre: Drama, Humor, and Romance
Length:  3,301 words
Ships:  James Potter II/OC, and Fred Weasley II/OC
Summary:
Everyone's life is governed by an internal code of conduct. Some call it morality. Others call it religion. We call it The Bro Code. Violations of the Bro Code may result in a fine of up to $250,000 galleons or in some cases, permanent dis-Broment.
Areas of Concern: Pacing particularly towards the end, Humor because I have read it through so many times its no longer funny to me haha, and Characterization/Dialogue, is it realistic?  And of course anything else you spot that needs to be worked on

Edited by wandlessmagic
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Story and Author Name, including RATED link: Lilies by the Lake (M) by ReillyJade
Warnings and Advisories: Profanity, violence, hate speech
Genre: Drama, Angst
Length:  2,377 words
Ships:  George/Angelina (present, but not the main focus)
Summary: George couldn't believe the nerve of them all. They talked about him as if he were a saint. It was a pathetic disgrace.

Areas of Concern: This is the only time I've ever written angry, ranting George, so I'm concerned whether it's too out-of-character. Also, the tense switches midway through the story, and I wonder if it's too jarring.

Thanks!! :wub:

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Do you read Original Fiction? Feel free to ignore me if you don't :P

Story and Author Name, including RATED link: Quantum Decadence (T) by azimuth
Warnings and Advisories: Violence
Genre: Action/Adventure, Crime/Mystery
Length:  1340 words

Ships: None yet.

Summary: It's 2015 and the world is perfect. 

In a world ruled by science, where religion and superstition no longer exist and have become little more than horror stories, an occult shop opening in the middle of a normal little town terrifies Salil. But why is it that no one else can see it? Except for that crazy old crone that mans the bangles stall...

It's 2015 and somewhere in the shadows, something terrifying is brewing.

Areas Of Concern: Is it understandable, or is it too confusing to follow along? Is the flow too awkward? I would also love to know your thoughts in general.

Thank you! :wub:

 

 

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Hi Kristin! I wrote a thing :P 

Story and Author Name, including RATED link: five lives (M) by justawillowtree
Warnings and Advisories: hate speech, sexual assault, violence
Genre: general
Length: ~6800
Ships: n/a
Summary: Four lives Astoria saved. And then the fifth.
Areas of Concern: I wanted to know, what do you think of Astoria's character? And how interesting is each individual section? Also, is there a distinct difference between the tones of the first four and then the fifth? Anything you can think of would be wonderful as well! I'd love concrit on anything that jumps out at you.

Thank you <3

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Hi, Kristin, love! :wub: I wrote something and I'm a bit nervous about it so I would love your opinion...

Story and Author Name, including link: Shattering, dying, healing (M) by Felpata_Lupin

Warnings and Advisories: Mature (Violence)

Genre: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort

Length: one-shot - 2024 words

Summary:

And then it hit him, his cousin was truly gone.

A missing moment from Liar.

Written for dreamgazer220's Say Goodbye Challenge.

Ships: none (maybe slightly hinted Jily)

Areas of Concern (if any): Does it flow well? Does the structure work? Is it emotional enough or does it feel like just a recount of events? Are James' reactions believable? Is it interesting? Does it even make sense at all? (As you can see, I'm soooo confident about this one... :couch:)

Edited by Felpata_Lupin
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  • 3 months later...
 

 

Hey, are you still reviewing?  I just finished a thing and would love to hear what you think!

 

Coffee and Curse-Breakers (M) by Pixileanin

 Self-Harm, Slavery, Substance Abuse, Suicide, Violence

Action/Adventure, AU, Crime/Mystery, Hurt/Comfort

22K (4 chapters)

Then she saw it.  Two broken, wavy lines across the top of his wrist, not pink from the coffee spill, but actually glowing from under his skin.  At the same time, she felt her own wrist burn like it never had before.  The marks were shockingly familiar, like the underside of her own arm. They matched hers.  

No.  It couldn’t be this man.  There had to be some mistake.

Tonks/Bill W

It's new.  I'm insecure.  Also, concrit away.  I'm always trying to make stuff better, and I wrote this REALLY FAST.

Thanks,

Pix

Edited by Pixileanin
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Hey Kristin!

I know you are not around a lot at the moment, but I have a new chapter of Jimmy, so... (of course, there's no rush, whenever you have time...)

Story and Author Name, including link: All the truth about Jimmy Portman (M) by Felpata_Lupin

Warnings and Advisories: sexual content, violence

Genre: angst, AU, drama

Length: chapter 22 is 3241 words

Summary: 

Quote

Destiny is the result of people's choices. And any single choice can change it completely.

In this AU the Marauders are still alive and free (more or less...), Neville Longbottom is the guy with the scar, and Harry... Well, just read and find out!

Ships: James/Lily, Peter/Remus

Areas of Concern: Nothing in particular, just curious about your thoughts on the new chapter. :wub:

Edited by Felpata_Lupin
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  • 1 month later...

Ack! I just saw these. I'm so sorry for neglecting this thread (I kind of forgot about checking it after it sat there dormant for a few months :couch: ) Anyway - Pix and Chiara, I've (finally) done your reviews! :hug: 

 

And yes, I am still 100% up for reviewing, so go right ahead, if you're all right with a turnaround time of a week or two. I will be checking this thread more regularly from now on XD

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Well, I'm a bad person, so... :P

Story and Author Name, including link: All the truth about Jimmy Portman (M) by Felpata_Lupin

Warnings and Advisories: sexual content, violence

Genre: angst, AU, drama

Length: chapter 24 is 4729 words

Summary: 

Quote

Destiny is the result of people's choices. And any single choice can change it completely.

In this AU the Marauders are still alive and free (more or less...), Neville Longbottom is the guy with the scar, and Harry... Well, just read and find out!

Ships: James/Lily, Peter/Remus

Areas of Concern: As always, I'd just love to hear your thoughts! :wub:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi!! :waving: I'd love some feedback on my Scorbus piece - it's the first time I've ever written them and my first time writing angst in years.

Story and Author Name, including RATED link: Magnolias in the Country [M] by ShadowRose
Warnings and Advisories: Substance Abuse (merely for a lot of mentions of firewhisky)
Genre: Angst, and a touch of romance
Length: 1882 words
Ships: Albus/Scorpius, Rose/Scorpius
Summary: In all honesty, Albus would rather be literally anywhere else than the wedding between the love of his life and his cousin.
Areas of Concern: I'd just love any sort of feedback you've got! If you've got any CC, don't hold back. ?

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Hihi! :D I'd love a review if possible? 

Story and Author Name, including RATED link: Antebellum (M) by Aphoride
Warnings and Advisories: Violence (murder, animal murder)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Dark/Horror/Drama
Length: One-shot (5828 words)
Ships: mentioned Tom Riddle/Cygnus Black
Summary: 

Antebellum (adj.): occuring or existing before a war. 

August 1945 - October 1949

The world is in flux; history is not yet past and the future is not yet here. 

Tom Riddle is patient. 

Areas of Concern: The flow (it's written in a kind of stream-of-consciousness type thing, so it's meant to flow from one thing to another but I'm not sure if it works or just feels skippy/confusing), the characterisation (what you think of Tom Riddle in particular - it's more a character study than anything else), how well you think I did getting the themes in (it was for the Prefect's Challenge - so holiday/vacation, pride month themes (Tom's asexuality), meeting the family (Tom meeting Cygnus' family)), the feel of it and the general story themes (I wanted it to be sort of light-hearted-ish (as lighthearted as something involving Tom Riddle could be) with him on holiday, learning, exploring, developing, etc., but there's a lot of themes of despair, rebuilding, the aftershocks of war, etc.), and anything else you want to comment on! :) 

Thank you, lovely! :wub: :hug: 

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Guest Tanda

Hi, Kristin. If you can find time for this, I really appreciate.  (I'm not in haste, so please take your time.)   

Story and Author Name, including RATED link: Year of the cat (ALL) here, hpft by StarFeather.
Warnings and Advisories: None
Genre:Angst, Humor
Length: 199
Ships: None
Summary: This was written for Rumpelstiltskin’s 'A Poetical Mood Challenge'. I would like to dedicate this poem to @melian melian’s “Year of the snake”.

Areas of Concern: I've never written poems in English so much. I just want to know if I did right or not. So any feedback and advice will be welcomed. Thank you in advance.

Edited by Tanda
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  • 5 weeks later...

Hello there! Would you mind terribly reviewing the first chapter of a Percy Jackson fic of mine, if you feel familiar enough with the fandom?

Story and Author Name, including RATED link: Hold Tight and Pretend It's a Plan by Rynna Aurelia [Rated M]

Warnings and Advisories: Temporary major character deaths and violence in the first chapter; swearing, PTSD, panic attacks, later on.

Genre: Action, Hurt/Comfort, Mystery, Canon Divergent.

Length:  Nine chapters, 36K.

Ships:  Past Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase.

Summary:  Olympus has fallen. The second Gigantomachy has ended, and in Gaia's triumph, the world has been torn apart.
But the Fates look on at their meddling, and undo what should never have happened.
Percy Jackson is returned to his twelve-year-old self, memories intact and determined to save everyone, of course. But he is not alone. The Moirai underestimated the strength of the Lord of Time when stealing his power, and there is something about this particular demigod brat that intrigues him...

Areas of Concern: Does it remain coherent the entire time, and does the flow work well in engage readers? I tend to make the jump from Point A to Point D in my writing, as well as in POVs, and assume that everyone else made the same conclusions. Thank you for any feedback you can offer me!

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