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victoria_anne

victoria_anne's reviews

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aglow

Hi there!  :)

 

I'm quite new on here but I thought I'd give it a go! I'd love to know what you think of it! Of course, I understand if you're too busy! No worries!

 

Story and Author Name, including link: Accidentally On Purpose (M) by PLUM

Warnings and Advisories: Scenes of sexual nature, profanity.

Genre: Romance, Drama, Coming of Age.

Length: 6 Chapters, 50000 words.

Summary: Jenelle Clarke took Muggle Studies in a haze of love, riding the pink rush of a pheromone ridden wave, wild and fluorescent, only to rudely find herself in the middle of a Scottish forest, with a map in her hands, banned from using magic and trapped with her ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.

 

Who ever said love was easy?

 

Ships: James II/OC

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victoria_anne

All done, thank you for requesting! And welcome to HPFT!  ;D I hope you have a great time here!

 

I'm taking a week off from work, so this would be the perfect time to get reviews in :D

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LunaStellaCat

Victoria_anne, picketh me, please :)

 

Author Name: LunaStellaCat

Story Title and link Give up the Ghost (M)

Warnings and Advisories:  Advisory (M) Warnings:  Violence, Grief and Dying, Mild Language

Genre: Drama, Romance, Young Adult

Summary:  Emmeline learns a lesson after her grandmother passes away.  Written for the Wizards Around the World Challenge:  Season 2. 

Length: There are two chapters about this.  The first chapter is 5,560 Words and it is posted on HPFT and other forums.  This is the first chapter.

Things to focus on:  This is for the Wizards Around the World Challenge, and I messed this up last time as I didn't integrate it and fold it into the story.  I tried to do some action here and move the plot, but if there are any plot holes that would be awesome.  I tried to keep this Marauder era centric.  I know I’m basically taking two OCs (This is a rewrite of a story I wrote 10 years ago.)  Is it interesting or flow well? 

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victoria_anne

Just letting you know I'll be getting to this ASAP ;D

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LunaStellaCat

victoria_anne

 

I am actually going to attempt to rewrite this.  It's  a bad, bad draft with missing potholes and doesn't make sense.  It needs works.  I am going to rewrite this, delete it off the archives and give it TLC.  So, for now, I cancel my request.  I may come back after it's ... it makes sense.  Thanks.  Sorry to  waste your time. 

 

Jenn

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victoria_anne

No worries, Jenn! Feel free to come back and request when it's done! :)

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Aphoride

Story and Author Name, including link: Imperium (M) by Aphoride

Warnings and Advisories: Mature (Hate Speech, Sexual Content, Substance Abuse, Violence)

Genre: Horror/Dark, Drama, Angst, Crime/Mystery

Length: Novel/Novella (1 chapter atm)

Summary: It is October 1949: Lycus Malfoy is dying, quarantined in his house alone but for his wife, Adelaide, who still hopes there is a miracle cure; Eileen Prince has vanished into a Muggle life, washing the dead and arranging flowers, away from the sneers she endured at school; Cygnus and Orion Black are at war with each other even as they bury their secrets six feet deep.

 

There is a murderer on the loose, shrouded in paranoia, and the old structures, things of blood and age and time, are starting to crumble.

 

And a ship arrives from Lübeck bringing Tom Riddle home.

Ships: Tom Riddle/Cygnus Black, Eileen Prince/Tobias Snape (eventual), Eileen Prince/spoilers

Areas of Concern (if any): EVERYTHING. Okay, so this is kinda new for me (I've been saying this a lot, I know, but it's been true enough each time :P) - I'm trying to strip down my writing a bit more so it's less dense, so I'm wondering how that's going? And this contains one of my first major OCs, so I'm excited to know what you think of her (Adelaide), and of all of the others - is Tom Tom enough? What do you think about Eileen and Cygnus? Is it an interesting beginning or is not enough happening? Is the dialogue as terrible as I'm scared it is? Anything you wanna mention is good too :)

 

Thank you so so much, B! <3 <3

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ImaRavenclaw

Hey Bianca, I'm back with more Lyra for you! If it has been too long just tell me and I can find you something else that needs love.

 

Story and Author Name, including link: (M) The Great Tale of Me, Lyra Malfoy by ImaRavenclaw

Warnings and Advisories: Contains profanity, Strong violence, Scenes of a sexual nature, Substance abuse, Sensitive topic/issue/theme

Genre: Humour, Romance, LGBTQA+

Length: Chapter Four is 6235 words.

Summary: In which my temper blows up, I develop a rather annoying grudge against my brother, and Hogwarts happens.

 

Thanks so much!

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LunaStellaCat

Link to Chapter(s):[url=http://archive.hpfanfictalk.com/viewstory.php?sid=1430&chapter=1]Monster(M)[/url]

Word Count:5700 Words (One-Shot)

Summary:It is sometimes difficult to distinguish between the monster and the man.  Written for the Body Positive Challenge and Wizards Around the World Challenge:Season 2. 

Advisories: Domestic Abuse, Sexual Content,Language, and Hate Speech

Genre:Drama

Areas of Concern: I’ve been told that I don't implement culture.  Are there plot holes?  Is it a moveable plot?  Realistic dialogue and characterization?  Is it enjoyable?  Anything, really.  It was going to be part of a chaptered fic but I wanted it to stand alone.  

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mymischiefmanaged

Hi Bianca, I'm back again! I know you've read the first few chapters of this already but I wondered if you could review the latest chapter you've read? I haven't had a lot of feedback on the more recent few so would be great if you don't mind! But just go for whichever chapter you feel like :)

Story and Author Name, including link: Long Live the Queen (M), mymischiefmanaged

Warnings and Advisories: Mature. Contains profanity, substance abuse, strong violence, scenes of a sexual nature, and sensitive topics.

Genre: Next generation drama/romance/angst

Length: 13 chapters, 39023 words, each chapter is usually under 4000 words

Summary: A drug fuelled, hierarchical Hogwarts, led by one Lily Luna Potter

Ships: lots! But all changing

Areas of Concern (if any): Just the usual - what do you think of the characters and is it interesting? Is there anything glaring in the style that you think needs to be changed.

 

Thank you thank you! And let's catch up soon! xx

Edited by LadyL8

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victoria_anne

E!!! I'll get on these as soon as I can! It's great to see you again and yes let's talk soon :wub:

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Aphoride

Story and Author Name, including link: Imperium (M) by Aphoride

Warnings and Advisories: Mature (Hate Speech, Sexual Content, Substance Abuse, Violence)

Genre: Horror/Dark, Drama, Angst, Crime/Mystery

Length: Novel/Novella (2 chapters atm)

Summary: Chapter 2: in which Eileen is found in her seclusion by an old friend, Adelaide receives a visitor she wasn't expecting, Tom gets what he wants (again), and Cygnus and Orion Black have very different ideas of how far 'duty' follows a man. 

Ships: Tom Riddle/Cygnus Black, Eileen Prince/Tobias Snape (eventual), Eileen Prince/spoilers

Areas of Concern (if any): So many :P What do you think of Eileen's visitor and her relationship with him? Is it actually mysterious or is there just not enough for it to make you curious? How is Adelaide (she's like one of my first major OCs so I'm nervous :P) - is she interesting or just kinda dull in this chapter? Do you have any thoughts on Tom and what he's getting up to; his relationship with Cygnus, etc.? Any thoughts or comments on the general shape of the plot so far, characters, writing, etc. would be amazing <3 

Thank you so much, lovely <3 <3 

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victoria_anne

I'm only seeing this now, sorry Aph! I'll get onto it straight away :)

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Shadowkat678

Story and Author Name, including link: Words and Silence by Shadowkat678 (M)

Warnings and Advisories: Rated M for domestic abuse and violence. Tagged spoiler. Deals with implied PTSD and depression. 

Genre: Angst, Dark/Horror, General

Length: 2130

Summary

"They say words can't hurt you, yet they do. Like a thousand hot knives carving each letter into your slowly beating heart."

For the Phobia challenge: Monophobia, an acute fear of being alone.

Also for the Proverb Challenge: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Ships: NA

Areas of Concern: This is in second person POV present tense. I've recently edited it before putting it up on these archives, and since this is a challenging POV and tense to do, I want it checked for flow.

 

 

Story and Author Name, including link: A Christmas in Azkaban (M) by shadowkat678

Warnings and Advisories: Rated T for violence and spoilers. Deals with implied PTSD and depression. 

Genre: Angst, Dark/Horror, General

Length: 2707 words

Summary

Hope is like a flickering candle. It can be snuffed out, but it can also be relit.

The Christmas Eve before Sirius' escape, an unlikely encounter with two young Aurors drags up memories of a time thought forgotten long ago...

Ships: NA

Areas of Concern: I remember being told in one older review that I used "telling" more in this oneshot than I normally do, and was wondering if some spots could be picked out with suggestions on how to "show" more. Also, I feel like the dialogue is awkward, as short a section as it is. As that's my weakest point in writing I'm not sure how to fix it, but I'd really like some suggestions. I tried to edit it before taking it from the HPFF archives and moving it to here, but something still feels wrong.Since I'm entering this in Call For Stories, I'd like to fix anything that would sound weird read aloud if possible.

Edited by LadyL8
Added mature rating
  • Like 1

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just.a.willow.tree

Story and Author Name, including link: red luck by justawillowtree

Warnings and Advisories: none

Genre: drama, fluff, romance

Length: 4665 words

Summary: I never realized how much I loved the scent of peppermint, until it was three days till Christmas break and Rose still hadn’t asked me to visit her family.

Ships: Rose Weasley/OC

Areas of Concern (if any): I want to know if the fic flows as one cohesive story, and also if the cultural aspects come through strongly enough. Also I'd like to know what you think overall! <3

  • Like 1

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sunshine_locks

I am largely in need of some reviews for my stories for motivation as well as CC so, here goes nothing. 

Story Title and author name, including link: Miracle (here! M) by Hasane

Warnings and Advisories: profanity, violence, scenes of sexual nature (the latter is nonexistent as of now and the violence is because I needed it for the premise of the story in the beginning)

Genre: romance, humor, angst

Length: if you only read the first chapter it is 3,826 words.

Summary: She was told it was a miracle, but it was more akin to a curse, if one looks at how much she lost. 

Or alternatively: What would happen if a wizard gave a muggle a blood transfusion?

Ships: Albus/OC (eventually), Scorpius/OC

Areas of Concern: Mostly just coherency, grammar, and such. It makes sense to my eyes, but I've read it a thousand times so. 

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victoria_anne

All done :)

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Aphoride

Story and Author Name, including link: Imperium (M) by Aphoride

Warnings and Advisories: Mature (Hate Speech, Sexual Content, Substance Abuse, Violence)

Genre: Horror/Dark, Drama, Angst, Crime/Mystery

Length: Novel/Novella (3 chapters atm)

Summary: Chapter 3: in which Cygnus and Druella have lunch (and discuss more than they realise); Tom catches up with some old friends - and asks an important question; Adelaide makes a trip, desperately looking for something; Eileen meets the handsome boy again and he's not quite what she expected. 

Ships: Tom Riddle/Cygnus Black, Eileen Prince/Tobias Snape (eventual), Eileen Prince/spoilers (one-sided)

Areas of Concern (if any): What you think of the plot and characters so far - what do you think of Druella and [spoilers]? (You'll know who I mean when you get to it :P) What were your thoughts about Adelaide and where she went, who she met? Any thoughts on Tom and his gang? How do you feel the plot's moving - is it too slow or too obscure? Anything else you wanna mention is lovely, too! 

Thank you so so much :wub::hug:

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sunshine_locks

Hi hi hi i loved your review on the first chapter of Miracle, so would it be too much to ask for you to review the rest ?? If you don't feel like it just decline and i'm cool with that. I'm sorry, i didn't know if i could ask you to review all four chapters or just one this is all some huge experiment for me,,,

Story Title and author name, including link: Miracle (here! M) by Hasane

Warnings and Advisories: profanity, violence, scenes of sexual nature (the latter is nonexistent as of now and the violence is because I needed it for the premise of the story in the beginning)

Genre: romance, humor, angst

Length: for all three chapters it's 15,197 words.

Summary: She was told it was a miracle, but it was more akin to a curse, if one looks at how much she lost. 

Or alternatively: What would happen if a wizard gave a muggle a blood transfusion?

Ships: Albus/OC (eventually), Scorpius/OC

Areas of Concern: Mostly just coherency, grammar, and such. It makes sense to my eyes, but I've read it a thousand times so. 

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victoria_anne
Posted (edited)

@sunshine_locks That's okay! I enjoyed it so I'll review the other three (I think it was) over the next day or two :) 

Edited by victoria_anne

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Felpata_Lupin

Hey, B, my love. So, I finished and posted the story I was working on yesterday and I would love if you could check it out? :rose:

Story and Author Name, including link: Shattering, dying, healing (M) by Felpata_Lupin

Warnings and Advisories: Mature (Violence)

Genre: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort

Length: one-shot - 2024 words

Summary:

Quote

And then it hit him, his cousin was truly gone.

A missing moment from Liar.

Written for dreamgazer220's Say Goodbye Challenge.

Ships: none (maybe slightly hinted Jily)

Areas of Concern (if any): Does it flow well? Does the structure work? Is it emotional enough or does it feel like just a recount of events? Are James' reactions believable? Is it interesting? Does it even make sense at all? (As you can see, I'm soooo confident about this one... :couch:)

  • Like 1

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just.a.willow.tree

Story and Author Name, including link: five lives (M) by justawillowtree

Warnings and Advisories: hate speech, sexual assault, violence

Genre: general

Length: ~6800

Summary: Four lives Astoria saved. And then the fifth.

Ships: n/a

Areas of Concern (if any): How do you feel about the way I characterized Astoria? Do you think the ways that the first four lives were done are interesting enough? I'd especially like your thoughts on the fifth life, anything that you find. Concrit would be super appreciated! Thank you so much <3

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