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      May Bulletin   05/01/2018

      May's bulletin is up, with all kinds of interesting information (including a tool to mass transfer all reviews you received on HPFF to HPFT's archive). You can check it out +here.
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victoria_anne

victoria_anne's reviews

Recommended Posts

Tecla Sunrise

What? How had I not noticed this thread?

My story needs your love fosssho!

Story and Author Name, including link: Uncertain future (M) Tecla Sunrise

Warnings and Advisories: Profanity

Length: 7565 words

Summary: James and Elizabeth have been a couple for four months.
They’re falling in love and everything is going perfectly.
Until James mentions a Sunday lunch with his family.
"Absolutely no"

Genre: fluff, romance, bit of angst but in the future

Areas of concern: I'm concerned about the general feeling of the character as I'm changing pov every chapter! <3

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victoria_anne

Baby I am on this right now!

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quill2parchment

B <3 I haven't been here in too long but I finally got around to writing a chapter and I want to see what you think! 

Story and Author Name, including link: In this Darkness by Quill2Parchment https://www.harrypotterfanfiction.com/viewstory.php?psid=337709 

Warnings and Advisories: M Contains profanity, Strong violence, Scenes of a sexual nature, Sensitive topic/issue/theme, Spoilers

Genre: Romance

Length: Chapter 21 is 6728 words

Summary: Sometimes the greatest darkness is the one inside of us. 

Ships: Lily/OC

Areas of Concern (if any): Times when the story feels like it's dragging. And, of course, anything else you might notice. 

 

Thank you <3 

Edited by quill2parchment
  • Like 1

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manno-malfoy

Hello! I would really appreciate some perspective on my newest story, please. :$

 

Story and Author Name, including link: Between a Hurricane and the Sea (M)

Warnings and Advisories: Language, Substance Abuse

Genre: Romance, Drama

Length: Chapter 1 is 2,281 words

Summary: 

They were forces of nature: a hurricane and a sea --The Sea. And she was just an island.

Ships: Rose Weasley/OC, Lily Potter/OC

Areas of Concern (if any): So I'm super, super concerned about the stylistic choices I've made with this story. I'm worried that there's too much of it that it's overbearing and takes away from the story. Also this is a small story in the verse of my novel, so I'm worried that it doesn't stand on its own all too well, so I need some feedback on that. I'm also here for anything else you might notice. I'm more than open for all critique.

 

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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Pen2Paper

May I? I'm in need of new perspective!

Story and Author Name, including link: Heaven Can Wait(M) (HPFF link) by Pen2Paper

Warnings and Advisories: Profanity, Mild Violence, Substance Use

Genre: Romance/ Drama (Pre First Wizarding War)

Length: 8 Chapters , Ch1 5576 words

Summary:

  Quote

"Mudblood" 

The word hung in the air for a long moment. No one who heard it knew the full gravity of it. They knew what it meant, sure. But why was it said? What happened next? ...

 

The story of how Lily and James and their friends grew into the people we remember from the books.

Ships: Lily/James 

Areas of Concern (if any): Plot development, Reader interest, Characterization :) It's a story I started way back when but had to put on hold for a long time. I'm slowly getting back to it and writing in general. I've been editing most of the chapters, some lines felt flat and corny I cut them out completely but I've tried not to disturb the original writing too much that it becomes unrecognisable. Anyway  knowing how you feel about the story and characters would be a big help! Thanks in advance :)

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victoria_anne

@Pen2Paper I'm so sorry about this! I'm getting to your review now, and I'll transfer it over to HPFT too :)

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just.a.willow.tree
Posted (edited)

Hi Bianca!

Story and Author Name, including link: a caged soul (M) by justawillowtree
Warnings and Advisories: domestic abuse, hate speech
Genre: drama, general, hurt/comfort, romance
Length: ~3k
Summary: 

Quote

Locked in a tower, forbidden to see the world. Such is the stuff of fairytales.

Except, this is Hope's reality.

Ships: Dominique Weasley/OC
Areas of Concern (if any): So this is based on a fairytale, and I want to know whether I've managed to write an adaptation where the fairytale inspiration is clear but without being too much of a copy, if that makes sense? And also I want to know your thoughts on the two characters, and whether the story is intriguing, and if you would want to read more of the story (since I'm planning on adding more). :P

Thank you! :rose:

Edited by just.a.willow.tree
I keep doing this, where I post without finishing :P
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sunshine_locks

heya! i've got a new chapter out, and i'd love some feedback! 

 

Story Title and author name, including link: Miracle (here! M) by Hasane

Warnings and Advisories: profanity, violence, scenes of sexual nature (the latter is nonexistent as of now and the violence is because I needed it for the premise of the story in the beginning)

Genre: romance, humor, angst

Length: chapter 5, 3,336

Summary: She was told it was a miracle, but it was more akin to a curse, if one looks at how much she lost. 

Or alternatively: What would happen if a wizard gave a muggle a blood transfusion?

Ships: Albus/OC (eventually), Scorpius/OC

Areas of Concern: Mostly just coherency, grammar, and such. It makes sense to my eyes, but I've read it a thousand times so. 

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victoria_anne

I have assignments to write, so.... SEND YOUR STORIES MAH WAY :thumbsup:

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potionspartner
Posted (edited)

Story Title and author name, including link: Even the Best Laid Plans by potionspartner http://hpfanfictalk.com/archive/viewstory.php?sid=1832 (M)

Warnings and Advisories: hate language, sexual content (brief), sexual assault (one-mostly implied), substance abuse, violence (Voldy strikes again.)

Genre: General, Romance, Little bit of Dark

Length: At the moment 7 chapters, but still adding. Review any chapter you want.

Summary: Voldemort has returned and Severus Snape has survived his first meeting with him; however, his position is insecure and his loyalties questioned by his master.  Desperate to convince the Dark Lord of his obedience, Snape launches a plan to appease him. It should take years to develop giving Dumbledore and Potter the time they need to fulfill the prophecy.  However, when Voldemort changes the plan, Severus realizes that he has inadvertently brought a muggle to the attention of the Death Eaters. Now he is trying to save her from evil all while convincing her that he is actually part of it.

Ships: Severus/OC

Areas of Concern: Characterization, adding detail, anything constructive you can add

 

THANK YOU FOR YOUR INPUT

Edited by LadyL8
Unrated mature link
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Pixileanin

Hey... you still reviewing??

 

I have something that needs comments.

 

Coffee and Curse-Breakers (M) by Pixileanin

 Self-Harm, Slavery, Substance Abuse, Suicide, Violence

Action/Adventure, AU, Crime/Mystery, Hurt/Comfort

22K (4 chapters)

Then she saw it.  Two broken, wavy lines across the top of his wrist, not pink from the coffee spill, but actually glowing from under his skin.  At the same time, she felt her own wrist burn like it never had before.  The marks were shockingly familiar, like the underside of her own arm. They matched hers.  

No.  It couldn’t be this man.  There had to be some mistake.

Tonks/Bill W

It's new.  I'm insecure.  Also, concrit away.  I'm always trying to make stuff better, and I wrote this REALLY FAST.

Thanks,

Pix

 

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victoria_anne

giphy.gif

I'll get to it asap ^_^

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