Login
Reviews For Persuasion

Name: esmeraude (Signed) · Date: 10 Sep 2017 11:47 PM · starstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Persuasion Chapter: An Adventure

Kaitlin, hi!

This is the first fanfic that I've read about Madame Maxime, and I love that you've chosen to fill in a missing moment in canon with her and Hagrid in search of the giants; this chapter feels like it would fit in with the books really well. Your descriptions of their surroundings are gripping, and when I read that line about the sound of footsteps following them I had to check there was no-one in the room because honestly, I was creeped out in all the best ways and your writing made what happen feel so genuinely real.

You've done really well with their speech here -- I'm always nervous about tackling characters with strong accents, but you've achieved a good balance between their accents and not making their words unreadable. *bows down*

It was interesting reading the Death Eaters' conversation about Maxime's appearance, but I'd have liked a little more of her thoughts in this section. We know from canon that she takes offence when Hagrid calls her a half-giant, so although I know Maxime is in no position to take offence here, I'd like to know more about that affects her emotionally, especially since this is for the Plus Size Challenge.

As a reader, I definitely want the second chapter already! You've done a good job of leaving readers with unanswered questions to tempt them to read on, and there's a lot I'd love to know -- we know that Maxime survived, so what happens to those Death Eaters? How does Hagrid get out of that tiny cave entrance? And of course, I hope there are no serious ill effects from what that horrible Death Eater did... *shakes fist*

Overall, this was a super story to read! I really enjoyed it, and if you ever find yourself on an airplane somewhere with words to write, I strongly suggest chapter two of this fic!

~Isobel <3



Author's Response:

Hey Isobel! 

Thank you for the lovely review! I'm so glad you liked the start of this story. I too had never really read anything with Maxime as a main character, so I thought I should change that. 

That is such high praise and I'm so flattered. I always try my best in fic to keep the character voices as authentic as possible. I do really enjoy writing accents though. I have a lot of stories featuring characters with specific speech patterns. 

I get what you mean about exploring Maxime's feelings a bit more. I had intended for it to sort of develop throughout the story, but as a solo chapter I can see why it might need a bit more. 

Ohh. I'm really working hard to get back to writing my WIPs now that I'm home. It's been driving me crazy to have them sitting there unfinished, so I'm working very hard to get them done. I have a list and am making decent progress getting through it so far. I hope to be back to this story soon.

Thanks for the love! 

~Kaitlin 



Submit a Review