Quodpot – Match 1 – Friends to Lovers
Wave after wave of anguish wracked her body until she felt that she had no energy left. Forcing herself to inhale deeply, she slowly began the process of calming herself down.
Grrr….sorry if this review looks weird for some reason I’m having trouble changing the colors on word.
Anywho! Hello, my Tart! I pulled out the above because I could feel Hermione’s anguish. The moment she fell to the ground I wanted to fall out of my chair and run to her and her hug. I never like reading about this part in their lives because this was such a tough moment for the trio. It could have literally broken their entire friendship and changed everything if Ron never came back. What if Ron had never come back? What if he had only shown up at the final battle and Hermione and Harry would have had to deal with everything on their own? I’m not sure if they would have made it—I mean they almost didn’t once he left but all the way? No, Ron wasn’t just their mascot, Ron held Hermione and Harry together.
She pulled her legs to her chest, and leant up against the frame, allowing her head to rest against its rough wood.
It’s so crazy to think of Hermione as a little girl. That’s how I picture her here, sitting there waiting, hoping, not wanting to accept reality. She has been through so much in her life and she is always the source of reason and for once reason isn’t what she needs. She just needs him to come back. She loves a boy. It’s that simple. To think she is in the middle of fighting a war and she’s a runaway but love is what’s breaking her down here. JKR really knew something when she was writing these books. Love does conquer all even when it hurts.
I think you did a good job with this chapter. You explored Hermione’s feelings well and painted a picture so vivid I felt like I could see her before me. Uh, Ron bashing? Do we have too? I don’t know if I’m here for that!
Thank you for the lovely review. No worries on the formatting!
It is weird to think of Hermione as a little girl since she always seems so mature in the series. Maturity doesn't mean she doesn't hurt or feel lonely though...and when Ron left I know she was definitely feeling it.
I know. I know. I hate Ron bashing too. I'm going to try not to really bash him...but just sort of create an alternative world. It's tough though cause I definitely ship Ron/Hermione.
Thanks for the kind words!
Kaitlin! I'm sorry for my sloth-like reviewing speed, but I'm finally here to review your entry for the Your Least Favourite Challenge!
Fluff, AU, Hermione/Harry, Ron bashing, AND novella length? You really left no stone unturned here, well done. So yeah, this is great so far. I know we're pretty much just within canon right now, but you've set it up well to develop into AU, and you've already demonstrated how close Harry and Hermione are even if it isn't romantic at this point in the story - but the potential is there.
Most of all what stands out to me is your wonderful characterization of Hermione. She is so true to character - there's a lot going on in her head, and after Ron's departure she's an emotional wreck, and frustrated because she can't find a logical reason Ron would have left. Of course she would turn to logic, and be upset when it fails her. And how she kinds of hides her emotions behind the tasks she has to do.
Your characterization of Harry is great too. He's always been really awkward about anyone showing emotions, but he does try to be a good friend, and I could feel the discomfort he's experiencing here, especially when he mentions there's just the two of them left. And then both Hermione and Harry just talk about things they have to do rather than addressing the elephant in the room because Harry doesn't talk about his feelings and Hermione can't process hers yet. It's really true to character and I love how you've written both of them so far.
So essentially, you have a wonderful grasp on these characters' canon personalities - this feels like a missing moment so far - and I look forward to seeing this diverge into fluff and AU.
Kudos to you for taking on all of your least favourites for this challenge! :D
Thank you for transferring this review over! It is much appreciated!
Thank you for such an awesome challenge that really pushed me out of my comfort zone! Hopefully, once I get settled back into real life, I'll be able to really get going on this story.