*Transferred from HPFF*
Gah! I can't believe that I only just found this story! Sirius is one of my favourite characters, and as much as it breaks my heart to read them, I do so love stories that encompass all of his life. This was really great!
I loved the idea of the microfiction challenge! I wish I had the talent (or the time, oddly enough) to participate, but I just adore reading the entries, and yours is just fantastic! First of all, I love that this is 777 words long - let the sevens abound! And that it's comprised of thirteen stories - that most unluckiest of numbers, as well as the next worst times tables (after the seven times tables, of course) - that just makes this so much better!
I especially liked how you didn't dwell on one "theme" I guess is the best way to put it. You included everything, from his parents opinion of him, to his Sorting, to his friendship with the Marauders, to young love, to his devotion to James and Lily. Naturally, Azkaban plays a large role here, and I liked how you focused on his Animagus ability. I think it's one of the best pieces of prose written on the subject I've ever read.
And that ending! OMG. Tears. Tears everywhere.
Loved this! As usual, all your writing is gold :)
I absolutely adore the short, concise sentences--the brevity works so well for this microfiction in particular, given the huge range of time you're covering! From Sirius' dissapointment at home, it seems there's not much of note, other than perhaps additional dissappointment, until he's finally sorted into Gryffindor, when he's finally happy. It's like his first taste of freedom from his oppressive family and finds a new family of his own--his three friends. I love the idea of 'four become one' in this. It speaks volumes for what the Marauders stand for. And then there's the sweet bit with Dorcas (Dorrie, what an adorable nickname!) that ends tragically, and I feel so bad, because i know this is not even the beginning to the misfortune that Sirius will face. Then, of course, you've covered Lily's despair and the tragedy that follows on Halloween. I love the way you've broken the narrative with Sirius' thoughts, frantic, unbelieving...because his best friend is dead and his other friend is the reason. And then his time in Azkaban spent keeping himself (somewhat sane) with only the fact that Peter (the traitor) was still out there somewhere when *he* should have been the one rotting in Azkaban. Anf finally, he's free again, to stop Peter, to save Harry, to free himself. And then, Sirius greets Death and it feels like he's finally, actually free this time.
You've done an amazing job encompassing SO much in such a short word count! Amazing little fic!
Hi :) I read this quite some time ago, but only came back to leave a review now.
I loved the idea of writing paragraphs made up from words the multitude of seven. "seven is the most magical numbar" indeed! I always especially appreciate format constraints, like whn you have to find a way to tell a stoy limited by word count, and I think you did great on that!
Furthermore you had a lot of information hidden in your text, I liked that. The way you opened (by stating the full name of Sirius Orion Black) is already very noble. And I think it's perfect that you end with the same phrase, playing around with the words.
It's impressive how you manage to tell the whole life of Sirius in so few words: his childhood, his youth, and the dark years. It also give thsi piece a nice touch that you play around with names. Apart from the full name, you sometimes call his just by given name, or even Padfoot, these tiny things give so much depth to your writing.
And and even have seven hidden in your Azkaban paragraph ("seven days?")
I don't want to repeat everything you said here, but I liked every word of this story, so carefully written, and edited!
What I missed a little is for you to tell something new, that is not merely putting in words what we already know. You did that with Dorcas Dorrie, but I would have loved to have more, maybe even longer paragraphs.
Overall this was a very enjoyable read! Thank you!