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Reviews For This Treasure

Name: Vilja (Signed) · Date: 13 Jun 2017 08:19 AM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:This Treasure Chapter: You Make Me Smile

Oh, did I really not leave a review for this? :) Congratulations on the F.R.O.G.S award, very-well deserved, I’m glad you won runner-up in NextGen!

 

That’s my own taste, but I love stories made up of little snippets, I thought that you had just enough information in each piece, to add something new to the big story and to tell a little story on it’s own.

 

I always find that writing a Ron/Hermione is difficult, as so much has been told about them, yet you manage to do something completely new.

 

You set every scene with a date, and that helps, as you jump around in time. And I like this jumping, it really gives the feeling of how the thoughts on Ron’s mind jump, as it would be expected in a situation like this, sitting in a hospital with his wife. And he thinks of the important moments, like their wedding, the war, or when he run away from Harry and Hermione while they were after horcruxes.

 

I like that you don’t give away the name of the characters right away, your first sentences are so general, they could happen to anyone. (Just a small note: I think Hermione is called Granger-Weasley, not Weasley.)

 

My favourite scene was the one with the camera. I love the idea that she would get a Muggle camera to send pictures to her parents about their granddaughter. Ah, and she doesn’t like pictures of herself – so typical of a young mum. “One hand was resting on her hip - that meant she was getting frustrated.  Both hands on hips was a bad sign.” Haha, this is also great! I loved this line! This scene almost makes me forget the severity of the story. It’s so human to remember positive things, and even smile a little about them even in the darkest moments. But it is also sad, I can see how Ron realizes he is smiling on this memory, and how he fells even more sad about it.

 

The pacing is perfect, first time passes slow. You have several snippets from one single day. Then the next day comes. Then we jump in time. Time passes without noticing. It’s as if they got used to the situation, as if going to the hospital became part of their normal life routine.

 

 

I like how the children appear, and how they get involved, and how in the end they are the ones, that help Ron make the decision. Oh, and yes, you did upset me, but I still loved it!



Author's Response:

Hi there!  Thank you for stopping by and for the congratulations on this story!

 

I haven't written Ron/Hermione before this story, and I was pretty nervous to write about them, but it was so interesting to explore their story.  I'm so happy you liked their story and the way that the story is built up of little scenes, and the way that I jumped around in time.  I was definitely trying to show the way that Ron's thoughts are jumping around at this point as he tries to process what's happening to him and Hermione, and focusing on the happier memories interspersed with the drama.  

 

The scene with the camera is one of my favourites too, and I'm glad you liked that line - I really wanted to build up a fuller picture of their lives together and little details like that seemed to help.

 

Thank you for this review and for your kind words!



Name: Shinicha (Signed) · Date: 18 May 2017 12:01 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:This Treasure Chapter: You Make Me Smile

This story was really wonderful, extremely touching, and very sad. I can't say much more, I don't see anything I could critisize. Thank you for writing it!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for this!  I'm so glad that you enjoyed it! <3



Name: Crumple-Horned Snorkack (Anonymous) · Date: 15 May 2017 05:56 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:This Treasure Chapter: You Make Me Smile

Greetings, Sian! Although I spend the majority of my time lurking hidden in the northern boreal forest, word has reached me that this is a fic I should not miss, so I've ventured out from the trees and into the HPFF archive in order to read it.

As I sit here typing this review, there are tears sliding down my furry face. This fic was so beautiful and so heartbreaking I don't even know where to start with my review.

I just loved the way you showed their entire life through these little moments - they were all pretty short little scenes, but all together created such a full story with so much heart. It's the little things in life that really make it worthwhile, and you showed that to such a lovely extent here.

I think the section in December 1997 was one of my absolute favourites, as it's not only a missing moment from the books (which is something I love) but you added this lovely aspect to it which isn't seen from Harry's POV, when they were all hiding from Snatchers the way Crumple-Horned Snorkacks hide from humans. I loved the image of Ron and Hermione talking quietly in the tent and her leaning against him when she was cold. Details that are just lovely and really add warmth to such a time in the book when there wasn't much hope.

One of the things I've always loved about Ron and Hermione is the way they bicker with one another, and I loved all the light hearted, loving banter you included in here, like when they were watching their kids play Quidditch, or when Hermione was teasing Ron about taking way too long in the shower. Stuff like this just seems EXACTLY how I'd imagine them to be, just like they were in the books except a bit older and slightly more mature. My own best friend, the Loch Ness Monster, is horrible at bickering. If I argue with her, she splashes me with water, which is totally not fair.

And the story of the car accident - GAH this broke my heart. It was just so sad and I was really, really hoping she'd wake up at the last moment, but ultimately I think I knew she wouldn't, so each section in 2036 was just so difficult. :'(

I also want to point out how much I love the non-linear timeline - it adds so much to the story in that all these memories of happy times keep surfacing as he grieves, and I think that the broken nature of the narrative really complemented Ron's feeling of brokenness at the possibility of having to say goodbye to Hermione.

Amazing story, with my favourite couple in the Potterverse. This story really is a treasure. I love it. But now, I must take my leave so I can go cry in the woods with Bigfoot.



Author's Response:

Greetings, Crumple! It's so nice of you to venture out from your cosy habitat to take a look at this story!

 

Oh dear, I'm both sorry and not entirely sorry that this story made you cry - part of me is happy that the piece was good enough to make you feel something about it, which is what I'd hoped for with this!

 

I'm so pleased that you liked the different moments I chose to write about to illustrate their life together - I really wanted to focus on the little things, the ones that don't seem important at the time but come to mean a lot more than other 'big' occasions. It's great that you thought they helped to flesh out the background of Ron and Hermione's life together and create something more rounded between them. I'm really pleased you liked that scene in December 1997, as well!

 

Ron and Hermione were a real challenge for me to write as usually I avoid writing about any characters who play such a big role in the books and feel much safer writing about minor characters, but I'm so pleased that you liked the way I wrote them. It turned out that no matter how much I tried, there were no other characters who fit this idea as well, and I'm so happy that I managed to capture their characters. It's such a relief! (And I'm very sorry to hear about the Loch Ness Monster splashing you when you bicker - you need to come up with some sort of retaliation!)

 

The ending and the car accident were really sad - I was actually crying myself as I wrote the last few scenes of the story because I knew that I had to write it and it wouldn't work another way. I'm sorry to make you sad but I'm glad that it had an impact on you too!

 

Yay, I'm glad you liked the non-linear timeline too! You might know (because I've always thought that Crumple-Horned Snorkacks know a lot more than people give them credit for) that I'd originally intended this for a challenge which gave me part of the inspiration for the story, so I'm really pleased it worked!

 

Thank you so much for this absolutely amazing review - I'm so grateful for it!



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 02 May 2017 02:43 PM · [Report This]
Story:This Treasure Chapter: You Make Me Smile

(Upload them and Bianca will come)

Seriously, I scroll through recents, see your name, and have to click.

Oh gosh... am i going to end up in tears? *grabs tissues* I love how it jumps around in time so much. I think it adds to the sadness, that the present-day is so sad but it's broken up with happy memories, which makes me wonder what you're planning at the end...

Ron as a grandfather being called Grumpy is hilarious. I can totally see that.

Aw, I know it's in Ron's POV but Harry is suffering too. I kind of got so caught up in sympathy for Ron that I forgot. But Hermione is all their friend (not sure if that sentence is grammatically correct but I'ma blame it on the feels)

Side note: Hermione saying "Delete it" is amazing. But he kept that photo! Bless!

Nooo why?! Sian this is sad and unfair but so beautifully done! Like I said before, I just love how it was broken up with memories. So so so gorgeous. 27th December 1997 was my favourite. As a canon moment, it's just so amazing and so important for the two of them.

Love Bianca x



Author's Response:

Bianca!  You've really been spoiling me with all these reviews, and I'm terrible for not replying to them sooner!

 

Eep, I think the idea was for people to cry at this (goodness knows I cried buckets when I wrote it) but I'm sorry?  

 

I'm glad you liked the way that the story was told out of chronology and the scenes jumped around - I didn't want it to feel too jarring, but I was hoping that it would help to build up a bigger picture of their life together and intersperse the sadness with happy memories.  It was really fun to write the happier moments that they shared, some of them big moments but some of them just the little things - because it's the little things that you remember, more often than not, when a person is going or gone, and they're the ones which are most important even when they don't feel like it.  I'm so glad you liked that memory, too!  I felt like it was important to include to tie into canon, but I was worried about writing it because of that.  

 

Thank you so much for this wonderful review!



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