Hey, I'm here to review for Team Bronze! :)
I really hated Pansy in the books (as did pretty much everyone else, I think), but this story caught my eye both because I was really curious to read your interpretation of her and because I think that tackling Pansy Parkinson and second person narration all at once deserves some serious kudos.
I was not disappointed.
I loved your prose; the alliteration was a really nice touch. The general tenor of the story was a little compulsive, and the alliteration added to that without overdoing it.
I also liked the way you handled Pansy's character. She's clearly not a very good person, and I didn't feel particularly sympathetic toward her, but she also didn't feel like a caricature. I thought that you walked the line between caricature of a villain and sugar coating her very well.
One of the moments that stuck out to me the most was in the first section: Daphne looks the most passable - you will place yourself next to her. That says so much about Pansy's attachment to status and how much her self- worth is wrapped up in her appearance - especially since you follow it up with the letter from her mother and her assumption that her appearance is stopping Draco from noticing her. It's really sad, but depressingly realistic.
I felt like the confrontation with the Trio was a tiny bit overdone - Pansy herself was fine, but their reactions seemed a bit off to me. Hermione didn't really say anything at all, and Ron's temper in particular seemed to rise strangely quickly, even for him; if Pansy had insulted someone, sure, but she only took a few points from Harry and alluded to danger outside of Hogwarts. It just didn't seem worth actually threatening to jinx/hex/curse/whatever her. Neither of those things were exactly news, and it's not even like she threatened him.
Overall, though, I really enjoyed this. Excellent job!
[review transferred from HPFF]