Hi! I stopped by to leave the comments I did at Auror's Tale Story Challenge Season 2, when you got the first prize. I'll nominate this for F.R.O.G.S at hpft as well. :D
You set a shocking murder scene at the beginning of the story and described in detailed how Ron had been suffering terrible mind pain from Auror's job. Despite of Hermione's understanding and care, nobody could heal his pain. Readers can guess the main character, Ron unwillingly killed the suspect for self-defense or to save the other, from hints studded by the author, the writing style is super. The author didn't reveal everything who Ron saved in the first half, which let us intrigued very much and we can't stop reading to the end.
As we read through, we notice this is the story how Ron quit the Auror job. The conversations between Ron and his brother are well written. Ron's agonized face sipping tea at George's shop rises in our mind clearly. His gloomy feelings are woven everywhere in this one-shot. This phrase speaks for his true feeling: he gave up wanting to be the hero a long time ago. You dig down his problem through his conversations with the people around him, Hermione, George, Ginny, his colleagues and Harry. And he made a decision by himself in the end, that decision was expressed previously mentioned figuratively: Shadows in the corners of his eyes, shadows that had crept around him all days, shrouds of darkness threatening to cast their shade not upon the days past. But days to come. He accepted once to save the day, but he hated to save the minute as the author mentioned.
The story reached its climax when the author set the raid scene when Harry Potter had been a hostage. The descriptions until Ron found his best friend with the suspect, were impressive. We can portray each items in the suspect's room. And the description of the weather in Britain added the quiet and subdued but strong seasoning with a solitary hero, Harry Potter who would carry on his Auror job, which is the exact opposite way of Ron's future life.
The last scene was ended in the brighter way after Ron's mind struggle in the heavy darkness was cleared. Readers can't stop smiling at his last words, "I cook dinner" We feel happy remembering Hermine's awkward cooking skills and Ron was Molly's son.