Here for the reviewing event!
Ouch. That one hurt. Sirius' state of mind while in his childhood home always gets to me, but this makes it even worse. He's probably not in a state for any relationship right now, even though he still loves Remus, and one on hand it's good of him to get them together, but on the other it hurts so much to see him like that.
And that last bit.
"Your gaze is not on me but on Tonks as I fall back and away from you forever. My last thoughts are of you and the knowledge that you can be free to live and love without my shadow following you."
The fact that he's thinking like that really shows a lot about his mindset. He can't think about himself anymore. All he thinks he is is a burden to Remus, and man, that's just so sad. You can tell how far he's fallen into depression, and as someone who's been struggling with that myself, it just makes me so sad because I know the feeling, and I also know that those feelings lie, but Sirius never got the chance to push through that and be happy again, and he should have. He should have ended up with a family again with Remus and Harry and his friends. He should have gotten his innocence recognized. He should have been free, but then he just died.
Amazing and heartbreaking work.
The first paragraph alone has my heart breaking! I do love your universe's SiriusxRemus to RemusxTonks, and this particular fic helps fill in some of the gaps between the two relationships (you know, other than the obvious of Remus believing Sirius betrayed James and Sirius being carted off to Azkaban for 12 years). And Sirius is just working with friendship, trying to rebuild what they had before, only to feel like the rug was ripped out from beneath him when Tonks came into the picture (literally, stumbling into his arms, awesome word choice, by the way).
"You never were good at rejection but you excel at pretending we never existed." -- OUCH. That quote is packing mega hits.
It must be extremely disheartening for Sirius --solely because he loves Remus and thinks Tonks will be good for him-- to try to hook Remus and Tonks up. I mean, he even goes past trying to make Remus see Tonk's feelings for him to encouraging Tonks to go for it. (It makes me sad, too :(, but it's hard because I ship both pairings!)
Sirius' continued downward spiral seems to be directly correlated with the blossoming relationship between Remus and Tonks -- and it's just so SAD, Rose! At the same time, there's this beautiful beginning to a relationship and suddenly I'm not sure how to feel.
"the moon and brightest star in the sky only cross paths for a short while but always stay in the same sky." You're batting home-runs with the quotes in this fic! I've skipped plenty between the first and this one (mainly because I don't want to copy half the fic into the comments), but this quote particularly struck me because of the weighted symbolism and imagery. SO good.
AND you finished up with Sirius' final thoughts before his death. AND those thoughts are of Remus, who can now be completely free to love Tonks, without Sirius as a constant reminder of a love that once was.
I nearly forgot how crazy you can make me with your writing! Goodness, I'm going to need a minute to recover from this one -- it hurt my heart SO GOOD.
Obviously, it was a spectacular piece! Great job!
Hey, here for the BvB review fest!
This is such a poignant way of making Remus/Sirius and Remus/Tonks both work. I really haven't seen anything that bridges the gap like this, and I loved it even more than I thought I would.
Because it makes sense. While there's obviously the temptation to think that Remus/Sirius pre-Azkaban could just pick back up after Sirius escapes Azkaban, it's really not that simple, and you do an amazing job of showing that here. Of course things have changed - neither of them is the same person they were, and Remus has had over a decade of interacting with the world that Sirius hasn't. It's not so shocking that he'd find someone else, and unfortunately, it also doesn't surprise me that his reaction to that would be to avoid the possible issues it might bring out in his friendship with Sirius rather than confront them. I feel like Remus often avoids rather than actively addresses when it comes to love.
And I loved the way you depicted Sirius throughout this - he was clearly in quite a lot of turmoil, but that his loyalty to his friend overwhelmed his own desires worked with everything we know about Sirius. He was fiercely, fiercely loyal - I don't think there was anything that would have convinced him to give up the Potters if he had been made their secret keeper. And he clearly carried some pretty significant scars from his time in Azkaban on top of that - that he'd put his feelings on the back burner rings so true.
The ending of this really broke my heart. You did an amazing job with it, though, and the ending was fitting - it was just heartbreaking as well.
[review transferred from HPFF]
This is. Just beautiful. Why don’t I read more of your writing? Oh yeah, because f the ubiquitous cries of pain from anybody reading anything by you. And the fact that it takes a very powerful force to get me to read at all. Right.
In the opening paragraph I wasn’t certain if the narrator was Remus or Sirius - I’ve seen dynamics of them go both ways. I personally tend to think of Remus as the more piney one than Sirius, so it’s interesting for me to read it like this.
I like that Sirius is aware of the attraction between Remus and Tonks well before Remus is. I’m a little surprised that he is willing to put so much effort in helping them be happy together. I personally would find it very hard not to be bitter, and I wouldn’t put it past a lot of people to sabotage. I wouldn’t generally think of Sirius as highly compassionate, but either way his actions go to show just how much he prioritizes Remus’ happiness.
Ouch, yes, there are definite parallels between Tonks and Sirius. I had somehow never seen that before.
“You never were good at rejection but you excel at pretending we never existed.” There’s the pain.
This story isn’t just watching a crash in slow motion, it’s watching someone watch a crash in slow motion.
“the moon and brightest star in the sky only cross paths for a short while but always stay in the same sky.” Perfect metaphor is perfect.
Welp, yeah, that was painful.
I'm intrigued to see you writing Wolfstar! I have to admit that I haven't read a lot of it, although I wrote my own for the first time recently, so I really enjoyed this.
I loved the way that you used second person for Sirius to address Remus here. It was so clear from the start who the speaker and the object were, and I think it really helped us to understand their relationship, at least as Sirius experienced it. I also liked the way that it created this sense of detachment and separation between the two of them, the way that Sirius is narrating this, because it seems to be all the things that he wanted to say to Remus but never found himself able to.
The sense of wistfulness in this was really wonderful. I got a really good impression of how much Remus still means to Sirius, and how he really wants them to go back to the couple that they were, but he's accepting Remus's decision to remain as friends and realises it's too late.
Poor Sirius, hasn't he suffered enough? But then for him to still love Remus and have to watch and see him fall for Tonks, and Tonks fall for him, and the way that the two of them grow closer as well - Sirius on the outside of it all, looking in and not being a part of the love that's there. It's so horrible for him, especially when he still loves Remus - and he has to hear Tonks talk about it, too. But I think it also shows the depth of his love, that he's willing to be there for Remus when he can be and encourage his happiness rather than causing more problems.
The ending was so sad and bittersweet, the way that Sirius had to watch Remus arriving at the Ministry, and that Remus is the last thing that he saw before he died. And that he thought he was allowing them unfettered love now, but in reality maybe it stopped Remus from allowing himself to commit to Tonks properly in the year following Sirius's death because of the guilt?
I loved the way that you wrote this and I thought you captured their relationship really well - it was very unusual to see their relationship taken from this moment, too!