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Reviews For A Slow Shattering

Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 04 Dec 2017 02:36 AM · [Report This]
Story:A Slow Shattering Chapter: Sharp Edges

I really liked the phrase “carbonized, charred remains of a dream.” Not only i it cool imagery, the alliteration also kind of ties into the alphabetic thing you’ve got going on. Even though we’re halfway through the alphabet by this point, that line draws our attention to the letter C, kind of taking us back to the start of the alphabet and interrupting the sense of steady progress that the alphabetize sentences gives.

 

Xanthic! Cool word!

 

There’s a kind of crescendo to this story, that shows in both Alessandra’s mounting emotions, and the alphabet. I don’t know if it’s just me, but the last letters of the letter feel very dramatic to me. Maybe it’s from years of children shouting “W! Y! XANDZ!” Anyway, there is some sense of that for me in the rise at the end of the story, so I think you did a good job tying Alessandra’s emotions to it. A think “a slow shattering” is a good way to put it.

 

There I was wondering how you were going to incorporate Z, and you did it so smoothly that I almost missed it XD

 

I think you did a really good job with this! I wish you had time for my Constraining challenge, but you’ve got to see the world! Hope you’re doing well <3

 

Sam.



Author's Response:

Hey Sam! 

 

Thank you for the lovely review! It's always fun playing with odd challenges like this. Makes me have to think a little bit harder.

 

To be honest, the W,x,y and z were all pretty tricky. Not going to lie, I definitely had to pull out a dictionary a time or two. 

 

Glad you enjoyed it! <3

 

~Kaitlin



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