Hey there, Kaitlin! :) So, as it happens I didn't realise you'd written a story about Kendra, so when I was looking down your page for something to review, I saw this, wondered how I'd missed it and decided to stop by, so I hope you don't mind ;)
I have to admit, I do love Kendra - I feel she's kind of an unappreciated character, even if she is a super minor character, because of everything which happens to her: she loses her husband to Azkaban, raises their three kids on her own, manages and raises an Obscurial as best she can, and is eventually killed before she can even see any of her kids leave school and actually become proper adults. And she just... does it all. It's an amazing kind of bravery and strength, and just... you really brought that all out in this story - it's so much like the way I think of Kendra, yk? And I just love - from how she's so afraid of the Obscurus, so worried about Ariana, and how she has to stamp all of her own emotions down - her fear, her worry, her anger - because Ariana comes first. Always. Even at the end, where it's so ambiguous as to what happens - whether this is when she dies or not - she's just throwing herself into danger because Ariana is more important than herself.
Your writing in this is so lovely, too - I loved how you described Ariana as the Obscurial and not; it was so heartbreaking and so creepy to read your descriptions of her rocking back and forth and the dark, dark eyes and the wisps of black smoke coming out everywhere. You really brought the Obscurial to life and made me visualise it so clearly - and all the emotions in this, Ariana's self-hatred and panic, Kendra's fear and active stamping it down, gathering her own strength and her courage, were brought out so so well by your writing.
Also, I loved the references to shrapnel and bricks and glass exploding and Kendra throwing herself bodily onto Ariana, almost - it really reminded me of how bombs go off, yk, and how sometimes, sometimes, people throw themselves on them before they explode to save others - it's a horrific and unbelievably brave thing to do, and I don't know if you intended to invoke that kind of thing in this, but it reminded me of it, and I loved it. It gave this really dark, dangerous undertone to the whole thing, which suited the story so, so well and brought out the Obscurial thing with Ariana :)
This was a great one-shot :)
Thanks for stopping by! I'm kind of nervous about you reading this one. You write that era and the Dumbledore family so well. I don't know if my little story will match up.
Kendra definitely is under appreciated. I feel like her whole life is one misery after the next, but she always soldiers on and does the best she can for her family.
I'm glad I did the obscurial justice. I remember seeing that concept come to life in fantastic beasts and as soon as it was mentioned, I knew instantly that that was what must've happened to Ariana. It was so vivid and clear...and I just wanted to get even a fraction of that onto the paper.
Yeah. Kendra seems like the sort who would do such a thing. I didn't necessarily intend for it to be similar to a bomb going off, but I'm happy that it is....because in a way, that is what Ariana was. A ticking time bomb of pent up anger and suppressed magic.
Thanks for the lovely review!
Powerful, nifty stuff you have here. Powerful in the imagery. Ariana's fit and her repetition of the slurs that were hurled at her by the muggle boys. Nifty in the way you conceptualized the dark magic emanating from Ariana and made it a visible, tangible thing.
I liked Kendra's unwavering love and protectiveness. Even after she knew the danger, she still refused to abandon Ariana.
Great little story! I hope you did well in the challenge!
Thank you for dropping by. To be honest, it was all inspired by the obscurus bit in Fantastic Beasts, but I'm glad the imagery worked. I'd never thought of a visual manifestation for her disorder before, but it seemed to make sense.
I'm here to review for my female challenge! So my challenge is all about your characterisation for your lead character and the situation which led them to be 'strong'.
I really enjoyed your choice of character, I haven't really read any Kendra before and we don't know too much about her from canon so I think it's a interesting choice. She seems liked an amazing character for you to cover as I know you love to write about minor characters so if anyone can do a character like this justice, it's you.
I thought your situation that you chose highlighted Kendra's personality perfectly and her reasons behind who she is (or who has she become), her daughter Ariana. I thought writing about a mother was a really good idea for this challenge because that really does give women a new and different strength because suddenly there is this uncontrolled love, I really felt the strength of her love. It was a very powerful written piece.
you've packed buckets full of emotions in here and you've created this really special bond between the two characters here. I thought all of this worked so well for the challenge as well. I felt like I've got two strong female characters with Ariana though too, I think Ariana is strong though it's near impossible for her. I thought the bit when you wrote about 'wading' through Ariana's darkness as she's being pulled apart by this is heartbreaking but just gives me such strong image, Kendra is truly fearless in this moment. I love that.
I really enjoyed this piece, it was a simple scene with huge emotions running through the whole thing! Thank you so much for entering my challenge!
- Abbi xx
I'm glad you liked the choice of character! TBH, I had been toying around with writing this story for quite awhile, but your challenge finally gave me the inspiration to get it on paper.
I always felt like my mom was one of the strongest people I know, so I thought it might make sense for this challenge to write about a mom.
Ariana is definitely strong too. She's trying her hardest to hold it together, but the magic is literally busting out of the seams.
I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for a lovely challenge!
My first thought was what a difference between mothers, Kendra and molly Weasley when hearing common place explosions in their house. Kendra is met with fear, whereas Molly would just roll her eyes.
i know exactly what fan theory you read and I absolutely love that you chose to write about it. I happen to believe that theory so reading it in action makes me happy and I think it fits really well and you've done a great job with it. Any mother is strong, but a mother with a special needs child is extra strong, and I think you've shown how much kendra wants to put her daughter first and make sure she's safe and happy. Poor Ariana repeating what she heard from those boys :(
Good luck with the challenge!
Have I told you lately that you are the sweetest for leaving me all of these reviews lately? They always make me smile.
Definitely a big difference between Molly and Kendra.
OMG. I believe this fan theory so hard. Like I will be so mad if it doesn't turn out to be cannon.
Thanks for the luck and the review!