Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 05 Dec 2017 03:30 PM · For: Trapped

Huh, so things are feeling speaky before they start with the Ouija board? That can’t be a good sign.

 

I’m midway through, and based on the way people keep ignoring Peggy/she doesn’t want to do this/she had unclear memory/the spirit didn’t say it’s name, my guess is that Peggy is the spirit.

 

Hm, though Malia’s “No, we need to finish” sounded like it was in response to Peggy.

 

Oh, I was right! I read all the way through to the end because it was that engaging. Even though I had guessed correctly what was happening, it was still super interesting to read, and see how you made things work.

 

I liked how Peggy’s mood growing more intense changed things without her realizing it, and then her intense confusion. Poor Peggy! And of course the others are just stupid kids and not there to help her. I don’t know if I’d rather she retain her memory so that she can try to fight, or go back to not knowing the truth.

 

This was really good!!

 

Sam.

Name: Veritaserum27 (Signed) · Date: 24 Sep 2017 01:11 PM · For: Trapped

Hi there Claire!

I'm stopping by from BvB to leave you a review.  I sorted through your Author's Page for a few minutes, because you requested a review on one of your non HP stories, and I wasn't familiar with the other fandoms that you had written.

Then I found this gem.

It had no reviews, so I thought it would be good for me to be the first to leave one!  I also love suspense stories, so I was very excited.  

You did not disappoint one bit.  I *think* this is my first ever review on an original fiction peice, so I guess it's a first all around!

I want to mention your characterization, because it's really remarkable what you've done is so few words.  With the HP univers (and other fandoms as well), the reader is, presumable, already familiar with the characters, their back stories, and so on.  Even the next gen HP characters are systematically written with certain personalities.  With this peice, I didn't feel any awkwardness at getting to know the characters - straight away, I knew that Peggy was the "scaredy-cat" of the group, along with Connor, but he was a bit more brave than she was.  And I also knew that the other kid had more of a dare-devil personality.

So, admittedly, I had my suspicions about Peggy from about the middle of the story.  Probalby from the point where she said that she didn't notice a change in the temperature.  Then I went back and found some other clues.  All the same, you did a fabulous job of keeping me on my toes, because I kept reading faster and faster, thinking to myself, "Is she?  Or isn't she??"

Great job with the reveal at the end.  And I felt so sorry for poor Peggy.  I don't think she'll ever be able to leave...