I haven't read much Founders-era stuff before (unfortunately, not much of it exists!) so it was a real treat to come across this one. And being about a founder's relationship with her child? Even better!
Okay, first and foremost, I really liked how you depicted the negative aspects of Rowena's cleverness here. While founders fics are indeed rare, one thing they all tend to share is "Salazar is bad and the rest are saints." The other three were bound to have their faults. Here, Rowena is arrogant and a bit paranoid - hardly an angel. And I think that's wonderful.
However, on the flip side of that, I do wonder how much of what Helena says about her mother should be taken with a grain of salt. She's a teenager ranting about her mother; how much is she blowing Rowena's actions out of proportion? You nailed Helena's voice here. It's so believable for her age, and I love the way her thoughts are somewhat ramble-y, as if she's always on an internal tangent. It's completely appropriate for the age she is, and you handled it beautfully.
I also applaud you on your use of the old-timely lanaugage in Helena and Rowena's dialogue. Of course they'd talk slightly different than we do, having lived a thousand years ago, but you didn't go overboard or make it illegible. I think you struck a good balance between old and modern dialect, and I was able to understand everything.
Well done with this!
I'm here for the Winter Wonderland, representing Team Phoenix. I don't think I've read anything of yours in a good while now, so I thought I'd come by and check out a story. This one looked really interesting. I haven't read many founders stories, and the ones I have read have never focused on the relationship between Helena and Rowena. But I think that's a really interesting relationship, so I'm curious to find out more about them. Anyway, I'm gonna stop talking now and start reading.
Wow. This was really interesting. I like that Helena almost sounds a little bit jealous and bitter, and that you kind of can't tell if Rowena is actually lying or if that's just what Helena believes that she is doing. Her reaction to Helena's words seemed to genuine to me, but Helena obviously don't think so. Then again, Rowena did come across a little bit snobby. So yeah, I thought that was interesting. Anyway, you did a great job with the language too. I like that you have some words of that time, which is obviously the words Helena would be using, but you also don't go too overboard with it so it's not readable (cause I've seen some stories that have gone too overboard with it and that just makes it take twice as long to finish a chapter, because you have to work out what they're actually saying). I thought it was a perfect mix and I really liked that.
I also saw a strange comparison I've never seen before. Helena reminded me a little bit of Petunia, both jealous and bitter about not having something. For Petunia that something is magic, for Helena it's her mother's love. So yeah, I'd never thought about that before, but they did seem a little bit similar. I liked that. It was really interesting. And also, I just have to say that this line made me laugh: "For someone who everyone claimed was the brightest witch to ever exist, mother really was quite daft".
So yeah, this was amazing. I really loved it. Great job! And thank you so much for sharing!
Hey, Hi, Hello, it's been a hot minute.
I've wanted to write a Founders story for a really long time to be honest, I still do, but it would be such a huge undertaking just from a historical research perspective to keep things accurate while also weaving magic into it that I just,,,,,,haven't had the time and this one-shot is the closest that I've ever come. I think the relationship between Helena and Rowena would be really interesting to explore from a whole host of different point of views to be honest especially because they didn't get along the best when Helena got older (but it also doesn't attract a lot of readers so the chances of finding something like that are,,,,,pretty small to almost zero).
IMO, Helena is most certainly jealous, not only of the diadem and the fame and fortune that it brings her mother, but also probably bitter that her mother didn't devote as much attention and love to her as she wanted, Rowena never really sounded like a maternal character to me from what we did know about her. Throwing in the thees and thous honestly gave me so much anxiety because I barely know how to use them and am in no way qualified to understand how to properly insert them but I in enough that I knew what I was saying throughout the story. I think the point where you have to stop and thinking about what you wrote is when you've inserted too many thees and stuff.
I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed and thank you so much for the lovely review.
So I'm here to check out your founders fic, I think this is a really interesting piece. I've not really read anything before that explores this relationship between the two women. I thought you did a great job here at getting Helena's pov across and I think she has a very clear voice within this that I really liked. you can feel the mood changing through out this story. the reader can really feel Helena's pain at the first then her anger and at the end it's almost going to this ruthless phrase.
you've portrayed her journey within this story so well like the change in her character is alarming! I thought the language was smoothly done as obviously this is set in founder eras so the language would have a lot of different but you nailed that while still making it very easily readable. It was another for the effect that worked! I really enjoyed seeing sassy Helena coming out in this! It's obvious that she is going to use this attitude but it also show for a very Slytherin behaviour here form her, "I took satisfaction in knowing that I had upset my mother." that's some pretty involved teen angst there. This is really a good little one shot and very unrated time period to tackle. I thought you did a great job of capturing this historical moment!
- Abbi xo
Ayyyy I guess we're kind of in the same boat, because I've never written anything set in the founders era before so the kind of English that they spoke and the sentence structure that was used was honestly the most difficult thing about writing this. I'm really glad that I got Helena's POV good because it's honestly a source of worry for me whenever I think of this oneshot. I'm so happy to hear that the language worked, I know that the founders era was way way before the English that we have today existed, I think their version of English is probably something along the lines of the original text of Beowulf (which is basically in another language if you really think about it).
As for the Slytherin side of Helena, I think a lot of Ravenclaws often find that they toe the line between being a Ravenclaw and Slytherin.
Thank you so much for leaving this review!