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Name: abhorsen (Signed) · Date: 27 Jun 2017 10:32 AM · starstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Emotionally Constipated Chapter: the young and the clueless

Hey, here for the BvB review fest!

 

Wow. It's interesting to go straight from Bad Blood to this, because it's such a different tone. I loved this, too, though - it was such a cute take on Lily and James. Lily-as-oblivious-but-interested and James as interested-and-confused is a wonderful take on the beginning of their relationship - it captures a lot of the awkwardness that I think was probably there, but it makes it incredibly endearing rather than actively uncomfortable.

 

And there were a lot of details that just made this one-shot. I loved the way Peter snapped at them - I can totally understand the "... yeah, this is all very nice, but I'm trying to sleep here!" Sirius's advice was spot on - but I can totally sympathize with Lily, here, even moreso than James.

 

Because I've totally been that girl. Super embarrassing story here - when I was in college, I told an old friend from HS that I had a crush on him - and then totally brushed off his IMing me whenever I was online for awhile to chat and say, "Hey, do you want to do something?" as him just trying to stop me from feeling awkward about it all. In retrospect... um.

 

So I can totally see where Lily's coming from, and I can also see Dorcas's response being "Oh my god, shoe-meet-head please, what is wrong with you?" At least Lily made it right pretty quickly after that - I feel like if she'd given herself enough time to process what happened, she might have been overwhelmed with embarrassment!

 

I did notice a couple typos - the "James" after "You think that'll work?" should have been capitalized, but it wasn't. You also switched to present tense a couple times - e.g., Now she finds out she could've...

 

Those are minor, though, and this was adorable.

 

[review transferred from HPFF]



Author's Response:

SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG WITH YOUR RESPONSE TO THIS I'VE BEEN AWAY FOR A WHILE BUT I'M BACK AGAIN!

Yeah, this and Bad Blood are kind of complete opposites of each other so it can be a little surprising if you go directly from one to the other.

I love for Lily and James, I cannot count the amount of nights that I've spent hours just reading fic on them and I've wanted to write something portraying James as dorky and nervous for a while so I'm so happy to hear that I pulled it off.

I didn't want to forget Peter, he gets forgotten a lot so I made an active effort to include him as much as I could. I would've been the same as you in the situation, it's easy to spot when someone likes someone else but I'm completely oblivious if it's ever directed at me.

If I remember, I'll definitely go back and fix those typos, thank you for pointing it out and thanks for leaving a review!



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