FanficTalk Archive :: Unleash Your Fandom

Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 07 Jun 2018 08:46 AM · For: What lies beneath

Hello! I’m perusing the POGs nominees for trim voting, and figured I’d swing by and drop a review on some of the stories!

This is a really interesting story – Apollyon being gay but unable to come to terms with it, so it manifests in his unequal doling of punishments. (I really like that you managed to include Arthur and Molly in this story too.) And of course Dumbledore is the one to bring it to light – not only is he just an incredibly perceptive man in general, but he’d know better than anyone what it’s like to have that secret and be unsure of how to come to terms with it.

Anyways, this was a lovely little read!



PS: Somehow I’ve never reviewed How to Tame a Marauder but I just want you to know that discovering that story was literally what got me into fanfic like 7 years ago, so thank you for that. <3

Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 11 Dec 2017 12:39 AM · For: What lies beneath

Hey, dear!

I can honestly say that I have never read a fic before with Apollyon Pringle, before, but I love what you've done with him. He's basically a grumpy janitor, and I love grumpy janitors. And, following true to that nature, he hates springtime and those blasted kids with all the flower petals and whathaveyou! I feel so bad for Arthur but he should have known better than to track all that mud through the castle (and thank goodness Dumbledore won't let him string the kids up by their ankles). Professor McGonagall is totally right, though, he's definitely afraid of getting close to people, so I'm glad when she's finally able to get him to admit about his sexual preference/orientation. Professor Slughorn, eh? Well, that certainly would make an interesting pairing. I dig it.

Awesome job with this!

-Rumpel

Name: MuggleMaybe (Signed) · Date: 31 Jul 2017 10:01 PM · For: What lies beneath

Hello Mel!

Oh, Apollyon Pringle! Now that's what I call a unique character choice! I'm excited to see what you do with him! He certainly seems like an old codger type on frst impression, haha.

Those thoughtless, no good students! Wil lthey ever learn? ;)

Okay, but think how easy it would be for a wizard to do custodial work. You just say the spell and ~voila~

bit hard to be sympathetic, considering that

Aw, he's intimidated by Fabian and Gideon? That's kind of cute, in a way. Assuming they aren't actually jerks. Jerks aren't cute.

Incicdentally, I absolutely love Arthur Weasley &hearts

A stinging hex??! A CANE??! OH MY. This was definitely a different era in school punishment.

"Kids these days..." He reminds me of a scooby doo villian haha

OOOOH, very nice use of the quote!!! =D

Awww. He thinks he's the only one. *hugs apollyon*

i'm a little weirded out because the Prewetts are students and Dumbledore and Pringle are staff = P

It's honest, though.

I can't even imagine haviong to have this conversation in the 1960s. Thank goodness for Minerva and Dumbledore, you know?

Thank you for saying he would never touch them.

OH MY GOD NEW HEAD CANON SLUGHORN IS 100% GAY. I honestly never thought about it either way before but YES.

Mel, I can't believe how ORIGIANL this story is! How did you ever think of it???? You did a great job with a strange assortment of prompts. Well done!

xoxo Renee

Name: clairevergreen (Signed) · Date: 31 Jul 2017 07:04 PM · For: What lies beneath

Hey, Mel!

I absolutely love your take on the challenge. I feel like most times, coming out narratives are focused completely on teenagers and young adults and forget that adults have coming out stories as well. It's definitely not what I was expecting to read for this challenge, but I'm so happy that I got to read it!

I think that you handled everything in here really well. It's kind of a delicate subject, but I never felt like it was too much or crossed a line. It was a really neat way to work in the coming out aspect, which was a really interesting angle. This kind of goes back to how you chose an adult over a teenager, but it makes sense that if he's internalized everything for so long that it would come out in ways like targeting male students over female students.

Apollyon is written really well and I love how you've slipped canon details into it to make it feel even more real. You absolutely nailed Dumbledore and McGonagall in this too. They're not easy characters to write and you do it flawlessly.

Wonderful story, Mel! Thanks so much for your entry!

Claire

Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 23 Jul 2017 11:01 AM · For: What lies beneath

Hello Mel,

So I'm here for your challenge 3rd place review, I thought I would choose this one because I'm mainly impressed with your ability to get three different challenges.

I think this is a really interesting piece that you've created. I love the way you've taken a canon factor that we know about Arthur and his scars from Apollyon Pringle so you've used this event as a trigger for this one-shot. I think that's really clever way to weave in canon. I know you're a canon expert! so I enjoyed this little touch.

I think you've done a great job as handling such a sensitive issue. I thought the little details and hints that you've dropped into this like him disregarding molly by mis-remembering her last name like she's not important but refer to her brothers. It was quite a brave way to go about coming out challenge as it's focused on his behaviour at work with children but I think you've explored the issue subtly but it's an intense scene.

you've handled some of Apollyon's fears and thoughts about being gay in a quite a real way because it's a hugely complex issue for him. you've given his struggles a real strong voice throughout this so well done for that. I really felt his struggle and his bravery to admit it which can't have been easy for him. You've created this quite nice bond between Dumbledore and Apollyon during their conversation. It's interesting that you have a double coming out here with Dumbledore also admitting that to Apollyon too. I thought that quote was perfect Dumbledore-y thing to say so good choice of character for that one.

this is a really powerful piece Mel. <3

- Abbi xo

Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 14 Jun 2017 11:22 AM · For: What lies beneath

Hi Mel! I thought it was about time I came to stop by your author's page again, and I was really intrigued about how you had managed to combine these three challenged into one. I'm so impressed by the way you managed to fit them all together and create a story which reads so seamlessly (actually, I should just expect this by now with your writing, shouldn't I?)

I don't think I've ever read anything about Apollyon Pringle before (and it's not surprising since he's a super minor character) but I enjoyed the way that you characterised him here. It felt like we got to know him really well through this story and you were very effective in making me feel sympathetic towards him, even in such a short space of time.

Reading this story did make me wonder whether the choice to have a Squib as the caretaker was a deliberate one after Apollyon exercising his power a little too much on the students.

I really liked the way that you chose to use major canon characters in this story to anchor us into the time period and make us feel as though we know Apollyon better. I wasn't sure what to expect when McGonagall asked him to come for a meeting in her office, but it was strangely sweet to see what happened.

I loved your characterisation of Minerva McGonagall in this story. Both she and Albus Dumbledore are really interesting (and difficult) characters to write but your portrayals of them were brilliant. I thought you wrote their dialogue really well and it was also wonderful to see the softer, more understanding side to Minerva. It isn't something that gets shown very often, and particularly not in fanfic, so I loved seeing her tactful approach to the issue here, trying her best to be sensitive and protect her students.

When I started reading this, I wasn't sure how you were going to include the 'coming out' in the story, and I was a little wary of what Albus and Minerva were getting at, at first, when they talked about the boys he punished, but in a way it felt like those punishments were an outlet for Apollyon's internalised homophobia and taking revenge on the boys for the way he feels towards men, when he believes he shouldn't have those feelings.

It felt like a huge thing for Apollyon to admit to himself, but it was wonderful of Albus and Minerva to be there for him and create an environment where he felt comfortable enough to admit his sexuality to himself and to them. You could tell it was a huge relief for him to let go of the secret which has been burdening him for this time, and to have the sympathy and understanding of Albus, too, who knew exactly what it felt like to be gay in a world which doesn't always accept it.

I've never seen a story where Albus has admitted to anyone other than Gellert that he's gay before, so it was brilliant to see him using his own experiences to help others - it showed the really generous, warm-hearted side to his character. I really enjoyed this piece and the way you worked in the quote and the other challenge criteria!

Sian :)

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