Hello, it’s me. No, not that Muggle Adele, it’s Fred Weasley, the one and only!
How about a little deal? Just between you and me, eh? I do think I should get a piece of this cake, so to say. You know, you did use my experience to write this brilliant true story. So, maybe a Galleon or two for me, yes? Or if you’d rather…I could send Percy here and he’ll bore you to death so I think it’s a fair deal!
That idiotic bloke-who-was-probably-St Peter-but-was-really-St Boring really did my head in with his philosophy, didn’t he? What a mind-numbing bloke. I should introduce him to Percy, oh that would be…I digress. What I meant to say is this – I loved annoying him! He deserved it for not being straightforward. And what can I say? I didn’t like him. Nobody tells me what do without explaining why, you know. Just ask my mum, I think she’d definitely agree that nobody tells me what to do, period.
And something is not permitted to me! Ha! Have they met me? Seriously, shouldn’t the transcendental beings, or whoever St Grumpy worked for, know I live for doing things that are not permitted?! They’re in for a surprise! They should just ask Umbridge. But she’s probably in Hell, anyway so that’s not really a possibility.
Oh man, when I was hiding out in Heaven (or wherever I was), I can tell you, I wished George was there with me. I work way better as part of our fantastic duo than alone.
And order of the universe? I don’t do order. They should’ve known that, I tell you! For omnipotent, all-powerful beings they were pretty…stupid. Try and stop me from being with my family…With George! What a bunch of…Sorry, I’ll be a gentleman and not say a bad word.
You’ve done a wonderful job in telling my story, I can tell you that much. How about I take you out for drinks, yes? But, you’ll have to take the story down. Or, you know, just say you made it up, agree? I can’t have people thinking I was Jesus or Lazarus something silly like that. It would mess up my groove!
(HC Finale -Wildcard)
This is brilliant. B R I L L I A N T.
That is all.
(Look, it's short! I promised! :P)
Best. Review. Ever.
(Hugs) THANK YOU SO MUCH!
I really enjoyed this.
BTW, one of my favourite words is psychopomp. Psychopomp. Psychopomp.
I could really picture Fred being a scourge on Heaven (or Hell for that matter) and being trouble enough that they send him back. This was terrific.
This gave me a huge grin!! Thank you so much for taking the time to review even after validating it! And I'm glad you taught me what a psychopomp is! It's a great word!
I had a lot of fun writing this and it's fun for me to be able to unburry it from the colab it got stuck in and claim it on my own author's page. And yes, Fred would NEVER go quietly would he.