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Name: VaguelyCreativeName (Signed) · Date: 21 Jan 2019 02:18 PM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: The awakening

Hello Chiara, I’m here for the Magical Menagerie Event!

 

The way you’ve written Jimmy’s perspective here is fantastic! His entire world has just changed, he’s torn between his birth parents and his dad, he lives somewhere else, he even looks like a completely different person. Of course these are things that would leave anybody hurt and confused, and that really comes across! I especially liked the little rant he had at Emmeline; how you started with the mundane aspects of life in the States, then the weather, and finally the current situation of Peter being in hospital makes it very clear that Jimmy’s been frustrated for a long time, about people making decisions over his head and having to abandon the life he knew – twice in the space of a year! Overall, Jimmy’s emotions are really tangible and utterly convincing; how he swings between wanting to hate Peter, but not being able to because that’s the man who raised him, and his uncertainty about the Potters are very palpable.

 

I also really liked the exchange between Remus and James. It’s very clear that, while both of them are invariably preoccupied with Remus’s betrayal, neither of them really wants a confrontation right now, perhaps because the whole Peter situation has just reminded them that they’ve already lost someone close to them, and neither can stand to lose another friend right now, even if James is hurt and Remus feels incredibly guilty.

 

Similarly, the conversation between James and Peter: There are so many mixed emotions here, for both of them. Guilt, confusion, gratitude… All that makes it so difficult for them to confront each other, you have made it very clear that they’re both unsure what tone to use: Peter is faced with the man he betrayed, whose son he kidnapped, but also with one of his oldest friends, and James is talking to a man who just fought beside him, who saved his life and kept his son safe, but also to someone who abducted his child and was a Death Eater. You’ve really managed to capture all the tension between them.

 

This was a great chapter, and I think you portrayed the dynamics between the different characters, and the confusion and hurt that was felt by all of them exceptionally well!

 

            Much Love,

            Julia



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 20 Jan 2019 11:58 AM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: Quidditch, curses and family affairs

Right, so this chapter was brilliant! Snape's still in love with Lily and the Marauders were still rogues at school like I thought. I LOVE that Snape reckons he's got the new Marauders in front of him, just wait until they find the Map! There's something really endearing about all that to me.

 

Also, I thought the conversation with Snape and Dumbledore after the match was great, almost like a missing moment from the books and I love a good missing moment. Then Dumbledore's comment, could HE work it all out? Well I'm glad that Peter got to talk to Jimmy, even if it was to confirm that he isn't his biological father, though I am obviously glad he is loved and cared for, despite what he has done. It was very interesting watching Peter meet Neville and pointing out that it could have been Jimmy with the scar, it really brings it home just how close Neville did come to be the Boy Who Lived.

 

Oh yeah and just WHERE is Remus? I miss my werewolf and hope he arrives soon. I really want to see how he slots into this mystery... did he know about what Peter has done?? So many questions!

 

Tasha - for Magical Menagerie round two and RvG Team Red



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 20 Jan 2019 11:56 AM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: The golden quartet

As much as I'm desperate to unravel this mystery with Peter and the Potters, I really like going back to Hogwarts with the gang. Although I know the events, it's really interesting to see how a fourth person - and a Slytherin - changes the dynamic of the group. There's still a tension with Neville that I think will be a bit more awkward when Hermione joins the gang officially.

 

Also, Neville and Jimmy have the same birthdays which I think is significant, though it might just be the whole 'end of July' thing. Also, the way Snape looks at Jimmy really made me stop. He has hazel eyes, not green, so I've no idea why Snape would feel such a connection or be concerned at all about him. There's definitely something significant there and I can't wait to figure it all out. I wonder if Snape will be the one to unravel it all. I'm also interested in Snape's relationship with the Potters and if it's still tense or have things cleared up over the years. So many questions I want answers to!!

 

Tasha - for Magical Menagerie round two and RvG Team Red



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 20 Jan 2019 11:54 AM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: A new neighbour

Right, I'm back for Magical Menagerie round two and RvG Team Red AND LOOKING FOR ANSWERS and I got a couple, so thanks for that! So Peter kidnapped Jimmy/Harry, but why? I feel there must be a reason, such as he was actually worried for everyone's safety and wanted to keep the child out of danger. I REFUSE to believe he did it because he's an awful person who wanted to hurt his best friend. Surely not. 

 

I'm so glad we got to meet Lily at last and she and James are still married! Lil Dorea is a right cutie, demolishing the house on a toy broomstick from Sirius, just like Harry did when he was a baby. This makes me really sad. They've missed out on so much of his life because he was taken. I want to know how Peter could do it! 

 

There's something so nasty about him turning up at the Potters and talking to Lily and Dorea the way he did, it's like he's rubbing it in their faces without them even knowing. It's awful.

 

I'm off to get some more answers now!  Tasha xx

 



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 19 Jan 2019 01:35 PM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: Brooms and troubles

Me again! I liked this chapter as we got to know both Jimmy and Neville a little better in how they react in different ways - especially under pressure. It was good to see Neville in the Slytherin common room, because although it seems like he's couldn't be further from a Slytherin in personality, he does feel at home there. So maybe that's important - you don't have to be a Malfoy-type to feel like you belong there, even just a little bit.

 

Of course Jimmy inherited his flying skills from his father, so that could be quite telling. I wonder if McGonagall will make the connection? Someone has to right? Didn't the Sorting Hat mention Jimmy was a Potter, or am I completely wrong there? Jimmy might make the connection himself if he looks at the old trophies. There is SO many ways this could go, I can't even make any predictions because I haven't got a clue! 

 

I got a bit of a kick seeing Ron and Hermione a little more in this chapter and I'm glad that Ron has recognised he was out of line with his opinion of Neville. I really wonder if the golden trio is going to become the golden...square? Eh. Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes next!

 

For the Magical Menegerie and RvG - Team Red! - Tasha xx    



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 19 Jan 2019 12:45 PM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: Chance meeting in Diagon Alley

I'm back for Magical Menagerie and RvG January - Team Red.

I'm officially obsessed with this story, honestly. Though on the other hand, you've left me with more questions and none of the answers I wanted, so maybe I should be a little annoyed, but I'm obviously not! That is the mark of a great writer to keep your not very patient readers waiting, so I'll let you off!

My Padfoot and Prongs are ALIVE, kicking and Aurors which is amazing. Clearly they're all still animagus, so I'm guessing their school days were pretty much as we knew them. But just how did Peter come to look after Jimmy/Harry? I take it they both have altered appearances, but Snape made the connection - if only subconsciously - within minutes of meeting him, so I don't know how long it'll last before it comes out.

The dream, wow! I honestly got a right fright when Jimmy/Harry turned out to be working with Voldemort. Clearly Peter really cares for his 'son' and is worried about him hating him when he finds out the truth, but honestly, did you have to do that to me?!

Tasha xxx    



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 19 Jan 2019 12:23 PM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: A new friend

This chapter was brilliant! The new Marauders?!! Ohh this could get VERY interesting. I loved that Snape made that funny connection literally within minutes of meeting them all. Ron being compared to Sirius is hysterical! I'll admit, I'm a little nervous about the Remus/Peter pairing as I don't ship them at all, but as literally everyone is recommending this story, I reckon you're going to make it work! I'm definitely intrigued anyway.

I love that Jimmy and Neville are pals, even if they are in rival Houses. It seems like they both feel like outcasts - Neville because he's the Boy Who Lived and Jimmy because of the information about his family. I also thought it was awesome they both referred . to Voldemort as his name, it just seems like that's the way it should be for both the characters. Though I thought it was a shame that Ron didn't want to sit with them in class - I'm wondering now if they're not really going to be best mates after all. 

 

Also, I loved the subtle changes of POV in this chapter, it felt really organic and I knew exactly who's head I was in at all times. Great job there!


Tasha - For Magical Menergerie and RvG January - Team Red.    



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 19 Jan 2019 11:58 AM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: The Sorting

After reading the first chapter I really meant to stop by again, but I am finally back. This is fantastic! Your writing is really amazing, Chiara, and that moment when Jimmy shoves the hat back onto his head was SO good. 

 

I was just as shocked as him when he discovered his father isn't actually his father! Is this actually Harry? Who was raised by...Peter Pettigrew... I'm so interested in his backstory now, I can't wait to unravel all this! Did Peter still betray the Potters in your AU or is he innocent in it all? Arghhh, I want to know nooow!

 

And Neville is in Slytherin - now that is going to be a funny one because I can't imagine Neville sharing a room with Malfoy and coming out of it unscathed to be honest.

 

I just can't believe that this starts just like the actual Harry Potter series, but is completely skewed in the best possible way. I liked the ending with Ron and the twins too. Your characterisations are spot on by the way. I love this already.

 

Tasha xxxHere for Magical Menagerie and RvG January - Team Red    



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 19 Jan 2019 02:53 AM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: Epilogue

Chiara! Here for our massive review swap, the Magical Menagerie, and for Gryffindor's Janaury RvG!

 

WHY HAS THE EPILOGUE COME SO SOON? Chiara, nooo, I really, really do NOT want this story to end. (which is quite the testament to your writing because you are leaving the reader wanting more, more, more!!!)

 

You have done every single character in this epilogue justice. I am serious. (Or am I Sirius? Hmm... you'll never know!) From Peter's absolute despair to Remus's heartbrak to James's frustration that Emmeline gets Harry more than he gets him to Dorea's sass to Lily's support to Neville's resentment to Harry's confusion, goodness, everyting is SO GOOD.

 

You tie everything together while leaving things open to continue. AT THE SAME TIME. How do you manage to do that? I am SO excited for SECOND YEAR and what that's going to mean for the Golden Quintet... and the Marauders.

 

Also, I want to comment on the male figures in this novel. You have a lot of them, and they are wonderful (and not-so-great--looking at YOU, Peter) people. I have noticed that you have a child-father relationship as a central focus. From Jimmy-Peter to Harry-James. Both of these relationships are incredibly complex, full of regret and pain and... love. I am speaking as someone who has also lost a parent when I tell you that I can tell that this has played an important role in this story, and I don't think people who haven't gone through that loss will quite be able to understand the complexity you've created here. It's like reading the Potter books growing up: never having experienced such a loss, and then you reread the series again after the loss, and suddenly, you understand things in a completely new light. This is what you've done here for me. And I thank you.

 

Thank you for having the courage to share a story like this. Thank you for thinking about this wonderfully unique AU. Thank you for taking the time to write this (especially considering that Engish is not your native language). Thank you for swapping with me and for asking me to beta.

 

I am so proud of you, Chiara, and grateful that I've got to go on this journey with you. Well done!



Name: Finefrenzy__ (Signed) · Date: 18 Jan 2019 05:55 PM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: The Hogwarts Express

Hey Chiara!

 

I've heard so many good things about this fic that I just had to come and check out what all the fuss is about 😉 I absolutely love that you opened with being on Platform 9 ¾ and with the Hogwarts Express. It takes me right back and gives me such a warm, fuzzy and nostalgic feeling.

 

If I'm being honest, I've never really immersed myself in the world of AU fanfiction, but this was a great change up and I think that you have executed it really well.

 

I thought it was great how you tied in what we know of the events of that first train ride, without it being a carbon copy. You definitely gave it your own twist and flavour. Like Neville being the one with the scar? I've never read anything like this so I'm really excited and intrigued to see where you take this. Thanks for the awesome read, and I can't wait to continue on.

 

 

Rhi 😊



Name: MuggleMaybe (Signed) · Date: 15 Jan 2019 05:19 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: Chance meeting in Diagon Alley

Hello <3

 

I couldn't resisting reading one more chapter, so this one if for the magical menagerie. Only, Chiara, this chapter did not answer any of my questions! I am more curious than ever! You are so tricky! =P

 

Now, I had thought that James and Lily died in Liar but I must be remembering incorrectly.... *goes to check*... AH, I remember now. So Lily is also alive? Very exciting!

 

But oh my god, can you imagine if Peter had revealed himself? I wouldn't blame James for being furious with him. I'm not very violent, but I would even understand James attacking him. No matter the circumstances, no one wants to be separated from their child.

 

Also. SIRIUS IS ALIVE. This is an aspect of the story that I had not considered, although it does make sense. And seeing him and James together a aurors, alive and well, really tugs at my heart. 

 

(Incidentally, I agree with Peter that Sirius as a voice of reason is comically unexpected. lol)

 

Oh, I almost forgot to mention the dream! It's super intriguing, and I wonder if there will be a way for Peter to learn that this alternative reality truly coul dhave occurred, or if it will lways be only a nightmare? It is heartbreaking to imagine your own child murdering you that way, my goodness.

 

As ever, this was brilliant, and your brilliant, and I adore you.

 

xoxoxo Renee



Name: MuggleMaybe (Signed) · Date: 15 Jan 2019 04:59 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: A new friend

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Hello Chiara, my dear! <3

 

 

I’m sorry I was so horrendously slow with this review for our swap. I promise I didn’t mean to make you wait!

 

 

I can’t believe I’m SO behind on Jimmy, but I’m excited that I’ll get to read all of this. (Hopefully soon!)

 

 

Aw, of course Jimmy would have trouble sleeping after a shock like the Sorting Hat gave him! Not only challenging his identity, but his trust in his father figure too. Poor kid! I’m almost surprised he believed the hat, because it would be so shocking!

 

 

Ahaha, like two other people I know, Jimmy is not a morning person. =P Nothing seems interesting when it requires getting out of bed, Jimmy. I hear you! ;)

 

 

I like that you kept Harry’s difficulty eating when he’s nervous from the books.

 

 

Aw, poor Jimmy has had so many disappointments. He’s a bit of a pessimist, isn’t he? I like that because I feel that he picked it up from Peter, which totally makes sense.

 

 

OMG, Ron’s line with his mouth full is PERFECT! Hahaha

 

 

OH! NEVILLE! I am very eager for this! 

 

 

Aw, hugs for Neville. I’ll be your friend, Neville! Aw, but yay! Jimmy and Neville are going to be friends! Right? Please say yes, or I’ll cry.

 

 

Dang Malfoy ruins everything =P 

 

 

AW BUT THEY ARE BONDING OVER THEIR PARENTS’ DEATHS. Which is kind of a horrible thing for me to be happy about, but this was such a missed opportunity in the original series.

 

 

Boo, Jimmy needs to stop being rude to Ron!

 

 

HUGS FOR NEVILLE (Yes, again, because Neville is my forever favorite)

 

 

“The toad girl” hehe

 

 

“Jimmy thanked Merlin that Severus Snape wasn't the solution to that crossword puzzle's definition, it kills with looks, otherwise he would've been as good as dead, at the glare Snape threw him.” —> THIS IS A BRILLIANT LINE

 

 

Interesting that we get to see inside of Snape’s head too.

 

 

Okay, I’ve finished reading. 

 

 

I loved loved LOVED the interactions between Jimmy and Neville! Your Neville is interesting because he is very in character, but at the same time he definitely is this other version of himself, with the scar and fame and a different family story. And the bond between them makes so much since in your new universe.

 

 

You write such lively dialogue, I can always imagine your characters talking as if it’s a movie. I really enjoy that! 

 

 

I will try to get back to this pic again very soon. I have so many questions I need answered! Why is Neville in Slytherin? Will Jimmy confront Peter? Will Jimmy become friends with Ron and Hermione? What is Draco’s story like? I can’t wait to find out everything! :D

 

 

Wonderful work, my dear!

 

 

Love and hugs,

Renee xo



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2019 07:48 PM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: Chance meeting in Diagon Alley

 

Hey Chiara!

 

I'm really pretty confused considering where the last chapter left off from but I guess it makes sense that it was a dream sequence. The scene was beautifully written, I love that emotion that you've packed into it. I can really feel how Peter is feeling, how worried and scared. It makes me feel so excited about what you have planned for this story and I can't wait to see that significant of all of this later. 

So this was a really interesting chapter as I'm starting to get the hints about what has happened in the past and how it relates. It's pretty mental that James and Sirius are lived. I've never read anything like this before. I thought their conversation was very revealing about their relationship with Peter. I thought the characterisation for James in this chapter was particularly good. 

 

I think Peter really cares about Jimmy but I guess part of their conversation reminds the reader that Jimmy (Harry) also has a family that love him very much. I'm not sure if I'm suppose to like Peter or not. I think you've dropped a lot of hints about future story lines. I love it when authors leave the breadcrumbs like that! It's great storytelling!

 

I love forward to coming back to this story soon! The plot thickens!

 

- Abbi xo

 

For: Magical Menagerie 

 



Name: Sleepingbagonthesofa (Signed) · Date: 13 Jan 2019 09:35 AM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: In death of Silvia Lupin

 

What are you doing to me!! Chaira this chapter was actually excellent in the most heartbreaking way. You write your characters and their emotions so well and Remus here was just... He's Remus and I want the best for him but I just want to hug him now.

 

He is very very close at this stage to figuring it out, he's the only one perhaps who pauses enough to read into Jimmy's actions and not just take him at face value like grown ups often do with children. The comparison to the marauders, and also what I imagine to be largley a memory of James, doing almost exactly the same thing is a perfect analogy and it is SO CLOSE! Obviously I've already read on but I just want him to figure it out now.

 

The scene with Mary and Silvia was so touching. It shows how much Peter's actions have affected everyone around him, not just those we think of first but also builds a more solid background for Peter and Remus's relationship/dynamic. Their mothers were best friends so Peters betrayal must have been ever harder for Remus to take.

 

Once again, my poor baby!

 

Delving more into Peters background and family was also super interesting here. It was a very clever way of showing and not telling us more about him, bringing his mother into this! (Sidenote: Peter is part Yaxley, Aye? LOVE IT!)

 

Remus's mother dying was just the heart ripping twist that I wasn't expecting to come at this stage in the story. He's already suffering so much. I just want him to be happy! WHY CHIARA? WHY?

 

Anyway, as if you didn't know already this chapter was amazing an I will be back with another review soon!

 

All my love,

 

Deni <3

 

(Review left for Team Leucrocota and January RvG)

 



Name: Sleepingbagonthesofa (Signed) · Date: 13 Jan 2019 09:19 AM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: Theories and apologies

 

This is my one problem with this story: You are making me sympathise with Peter and I really don't like it! On the one hand he does care about Jimmy, he is a good father and he clearly doesn't want his son taken away from him (oh... the irony) but on the other he litterally kidnapped the boy and has now put him in the same room as his parents where he could possibly work it all out and euuugh! Also there's that moment where he can't think of himself and his freedom first and it's just so pathetically Pettegrew and now i'm conflicted and chiara i was perfectly happy in my Peter hating world and now i'm not so this is alllll your fault!!

 

Anyway this chapter was incredible. There is so much going on right form the off!

 

Jimmy has basically worked it out now but he's released at the same time that maybe there are things you don't want to know. The revelation about Harry Potter/ Peter Pettigrew is something that no child would ever want to know so the fact he's now facing the possibility that his father was a death eater is just awful. The kids were brilliant in this chapter though! It's just so very them, there's a mystery and of course "Harry", Ron and Hermione + Neville would want to get to the bottom of it!

 

I think what really made this chapter was the scene with Peter and his mother though, it's another point to prove how much he cares about family and there was so much quiet emotion packed throughout it. Very very well written. It lends his character more context and really, it's the thing that has pushed me to be a full Peter-convert. As much as i hate it because he stole a baby!! But he also did that to protect Harry so aaaghhh!

 

I hate my internal monologue on this rn but I love you and this story so much.

 

I will be back...

 

Deni xx

 

(This review was left for Team Leucrocota and January RvG)

 



Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 13 Jan 2019 03:02 AM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: A Rosier's perspective

Hi, this is for the Magical Menagerie review.


I knew Samantha Rosier would come back to play a part. Poor girl. I can’t image it’s easy being the unpopular girl in Slytherin. I bet those girls take catty to a whole new level.  The interactions with Hermione and Samantha are particularly interesting and I’m betting very accurate. Samantha has been taught the horrors of “mudbloods” her entire life. I can completely see her screaming and reacting like that when Hermione tries to comfort her.


I also like how you are shifting Jimmy’s attitude a bit to be more abrupt and honestly mean. This kid doesn’t have the same personality as Harry (and nor should he with a different upbringing) but I can completely see his snippy attitude emerging because of all the stress with his father.


And nice job bringing Hagrid into the picture. If I’m not mistaken, we have a baby dragon that needs to hatch soon. Perhaps Samantha will have ideas on how to get rid of a dragon without getting caught.

 



Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 11:30 PM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: In death of Silvia Lupin

It’s all coming to a head. Jimmy’s persistent questioning in the last chapter. (I just wanted to slap the brat for his rude questioning especially if I hadn’t understood his reasoning.) Remus’s hyper observation and analysis in this. I want to race ahead and find out when the explosion will happen, but I’ll stop a bit to write this review.


I love Remus. (He’s my 2nd favorite character in the HP world.) I guess I’ve always rooted for the underdog (or perhaps underwolf) and he’s still struggling: financially, by missing his mother’s final breath. (Ouch, that was really mean to do to the character. Although everyone would tell him it’s not his fault, that he’d been supportive of her for the weeks and months prior. You know Remus will internalize it and mope about it forever, yet you do it to him anyways.)

 

And now Peter’s mom is reentering the picture. Yes, something big is going to happen soon. The question is just will it be in the next month or so or will it be typical of HP world when everything falls apart in June?



Name: Sleepingbagonthesofa (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 11:23 PM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: Christmas

 

I have been thinking about this story all day. This is so addictive.

 

The fact that lily runs an apothecary is so so perfect! It's just the sort of thing i can imagine her doing in a domestic, peaceful life outside of the order! She would be so perfect for it. Dorea continues to be delightful honestly she might be my favourite character in this whole thing because she is just AMAZING.

 

AND OH MY GOD JIMMY IS MEETING DOR I REPEAT, JIMMY IS MEETING DOR!!!

 

I love a good christmas chapter and this was honestly perfect. All the marauders there and some Remus/Lupin hinting (and Peter trying very hard to not be that Peter in this scene) and JIMMY BEING IN HIS PARENTS HOUSE OH MY GOD aaaaghhhhhhhhh! There are no words for how frustrating this all is.

 

But back to the start. I loved the difference from PS here in that ron goes with Jimmy rather than the pair staying at Hogwarts. Peter is so sweet and SUCH a dad when he's playing chess with Ron. I really like that character point of him being good with games like that. The diaries were a really cute present something almost a little tom riddle's about them but i guess i'll have to wait until a possible next story for that thread to be pulled on!

 

But back to the dinner and oh my god he's SO CLOSE!!! Asking about other Potter's kids is just agh... SO CLOSE!! He's basically worked out who he is and i just wish he would come out and say it already. You are driving me mad here again! Now, straight onto the next chapter!

 

Deni xx

 

(This review was left for Team Leucrocota and January RvG)

 



Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 10:27 PM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: Quidditch, curses and family affairs

Hi, this is for the Magical Menagerie review.


First I love how you still had an epic catch of the snitch even if the seeker didn’t swallow it. (Although I’m still trying to understood how Neville caught it, but Jimmy caught it to or was at least close enough to get the credit. Did Jimmy catch Neville’s hand or something?)


I also like the muggle reference to movies and the boys’ reactions. I never understood why the wizarding world never latched onto the ideas of pictures. Afterall, they already had moving, talking portraits.

Dumbledore’s behavior is quite strange. This part particularly intrigued me: "I'm not backing off. I'm saying I don't like that boy. He reminds me way too much of Potter."

"And how it is, I wonder..."

Dumbledore almost seems like he already knows the truth which in itself isn’t that suprising because Dumbledore is often omniscient. What intrigues me more is why hasn’t he said anything? Why didn’t he confront Mr. Portmann or tell someone else of the truth?

 

Another intriguing line is from Peter “What would've happened if he'd chosen otherwise? “  What exactly did Peter do and didn’t do compared to the book?

 

 

This has been very well planned out and I look forward to connecting the dots. It’s worthy of a JKR award for preplanning and twists.




Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 09:29 PM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: The golden quartet

Hi, this is for the Magical Menagerie review.


One of the things I love about fanfiction is when people take a scene and just change it slightly or from a different character’s point of view. I’m always thinking. Well, since the author has changed x, how is she going to handle y?  Some of these scenes are the perfect examples. Neville finding the door while searching for them. Neville breaking from the Slytherin prefect to find his constantly in trouble Gryffindor friends. I have a feel Neville is going to be doing that a lot. After all the golden trio has just become the golden quartet.


Two things caught my eye that I wonder how you are going to handle them: 1) Samantha Rosier: The Slytherin version of Hermione, perhaps? And 2) a short passage about Snape: “His black eyes met Jimmy's hazel ones for a moment. Jimmy could read in there the usual disgust, but there was also something else... concern, maybe? Was that even possible?” Besides typical teacher concern, why is Snape looking at Jimmy. As far as Snape knows, the boy has no connection to himself nor does he look like anyone he knows. (His eyes are even hazel, not green. Was that purposely put in at this point?)

 

Sorry, I know I ask a lot of rhetorical questions. I’ll go back to reading to answer them.



Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 08:49 PM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: Chance meeting in Diagon Alley

Hi, this is for the Magical Menagerie review.


The dream description was fantastic. I could real feel both the love Peter feels for Jimmy but the underlying guilt that accompanies it. The line “ His unsaid beg for forgiveness hanged in the air, almost a physical presence, taking up all the space between them. “ was particularly moving. Then the fear moved in with Voldemort’s arrival and Peter’s own lack of self-esteem. Overall a great scene that really helped the reader delve into the characters.

 

The next scene was equally revealing and of course brings up more questions. The biggest being, what exactly happened in October, 1981? Why did James trust Peter with his son? Why is there still a price on Peter’s head? And what were James and Sirius talking about with the voices? Like the rat sitting in the Leaky Cauldron, I have a lot to mull over.



Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 08:31 PM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: A new friend

Hi, this is for the Magical Menagerie review.


One thing I find interesting in this chapter is character’s personalities-how some have changed and some haven’t.


Poor eleven year old Ron. I think he will always be vilified as the immature and egotistical sidekick who can’t see past the end of his nose nor understand that one doesn’t talk with his mouth full and you’ve given more full marks as for such reputation here.


The one that interests me is Jimmy. Gone is the quite, demure boy I remember from the first book replaced by a snickering child who instead of taking notes in Potions, writes nasty comments about the teacher. At first I was shocked but it makes sense. Here is a boy who was raised, not at the abused maid, but by a loving father. That’s bound to impact her personality.


Neville is also interesting. Although you described him almost as a bumbling fool, his conversations with Jimmy don’t reflect the unsure boy from the story. Of course, I’m sure in the Slytherin common room, that side of Neville is much more likely to be seen.




Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 08:05 PM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: The Sorting

Hi, this is for the Magical Menagerie review


I’ve seen this story around in many place, suggested many times, but hadn’t gotten around to it. Then when I asked for suggestions for the Magical Menagerie Review, Emma practically shoved the link in my face, so I gave into peer pressure and here I am.


I never actually read the story summary, so questions started flooding through my head. Where is Harry?  Oh, Neville has the scar, so I guess we don’t need a Harry, but wait the Sorting Hat said the name. It seems every turn, you answer one of my questions but then two more pop up. Why is Neville in Slytherin? There can’t be a more anti-Slytherin character. Of course being the chosen one would certainly have impacted him-the desire to prove himself versus his reputation from infancy.


So, here I am with a thousand questions. Who is his father (although with a name like Peter)? Is he really Harry Potter and why protect him since Neville is the chosen one. Why was Neville sorted as a snake? Did Quirrel somehow influence hims (afterall Harry did have that dream from the turban says that he should have been sorted into Slytherin.)

 

Okay, enough questions. I’ll go read chapter 3 and find out.



Name: adorably cute (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 07:11 PM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: Brooms and troubles

Back again! January RvG, go red!!

 

I love seeing this crew at Hogwarts! you do an amazing job at twisting the scenes we already know and love to fit a narrative that you've created! It's a fresh twist on things and it's so incredible! It's still fun to see Jimmy and Neville's friendship- they've defintiely got slightly different personalities than what we're familiar with from the books but they've still got bits and pieces of the boys we know and love. I love that Neville is still the Herbology expert and Harry is still like ughhh this sucks.

 

Flying lessons is always awesome so that was cool to see. It was neat to see how this went down here- the sequence of events after Neville fell leading to the duel. I thought if was neat seeing Harry get on the team still and Malfoy still wanting to duel him! Again, your personal spin on events was neat! Then Jimmy, Ron and Hermione still sneaking out after dark to go and duel but meanwhile Neville realizing his friend was going to get in trouble and going to warn them! It was the first time we saw his Gryffindor side and that was cool to see as well! It seems like Ron is starting to warm up to him too and hopefully their friendship will start to grow from now on as well!

 

Another great chapter Chiara! Can't wait to see where you go from here!

-Sarah

 



Name: adorably cute (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 05:26 PM · [Report This]
Story:All the truth about Jimmy Portman Chapter: Chance meeting in Diagon Alley

Hi Chiara! I'm back! Here for January RvG as well!

 

I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT FIRST SEQUENCE WAS A DREAM! A DREAM? How did you even come up with that? Actually, this whole chapater. A LOT HAPPENED CHIARA! The dream sequence was WILD! Peter (the REAL PETER apparently) is definitely feeling some guilt! He's also definitely noticed that Jimmy hasn't written to him since starting school and he clearly needs some reassurance.The scenes where he's imagining Voldemort talking to him were really interesting- I was super curious as to how he ended with with Jimmy/Harry then if Peter still, clearly definitely betrayed the Potters to Voldemort!

 

So James and Sirius are still alive THAT'S COOL! They're working as Aurors ALSO COOL! Ohhh is the robbery they're working on the one where Quirrel tries to break into Gringotts to steal the Stone? James does seem very responsible but I imagine just growing up and this whole thing with Harry having to live in America and him not knowing what's really happened to him must have really changed him. It's neat that he and Lily have a daugther too! Harry has a sister!! 

 

Lots of questions!! What voices are James and Sirius referring to? Where are they coming from? They obviously have no idea that Harry and Peter are back in the country--what's going to happen when they find out? I can't wait to keep reading and find out!



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