*Transferred from HPFF*
Hey Meg! I won't be around on your birthday, so I'm popping in now!
This story, man. I just. Right in the feels. The symptoms you've described lead me to believe that this is a particular syndrome, and if it is that syndrome, I also have it. I'm nowhere near ready to think about having children, but I know infertility is a very real possibility. I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. I can't even imagine what it's been like for you. I'm a med student though, and I'm super passionate about removing the taboo around talking about "women's health issues" like infertility (and miscarriage and pregnancy in general). There's a part of me that's cheering that you wrote this story because it's so so important to talk about stuff like this.
I'm sorry that I don't have anything to say about the story itself in terms of characterisation and dialogue and all those story craft things. I read this story yesterday though and I needed a full day to process my feelings about this before writing something. So I guess that means a pretty good story. I understand that this is a deeply personal story for you, and I feel really privileged to have read this. Thanks for sharing, and happy birthday once again.
Oh Meg. This hit so many chords with me. As someone who has had difficult pregnancies – and miscarriages – I totally get where Hannah is coming from. My first miscarriage was in my first pregnancy, and I felt everything that Hannah was feeling: that there was one thing I was put on this earth to do, and I couldn’t even get that right. Less of a woman? Totally.
In other words, Meg, this is real. So real. So real that I was sitting here reliving that experience that was so many years ago now. I have memories of sitting alone in the house, thinking, this is how people feel when they slit their wrists. And I considered it, too, but then didn’t want my husband to come home to that. Hannah is every woman who has been through this. And we get her. We really do.
Themes aside, this was also very well written. There are fics that deal with a sensitive theme in a sensitive manner, but the syntax lets it down. That’s not the case here. There are a couple of minor things I might have picked on if I was betaing, but nothing that detracts from the story. And you have a powerful story here.
Oh, and can I just say, good on Neville? I know he was beginning to say the wrong thing, but men never do know what the right thing to say is in this situation. At least, that’s been my experience. But he means well and her worst fear – that he would leave her because of this – doesn’t eventuate. He’s a bigger person that that. And I love it.
Great job with this one, Meg. It must have been hard – yet probably therapeutic – to write, but I think you’ve succeeded admirably. J
Ugh I am waaay too spoilt for choice on your author page! I had to close my eyes and choose one at random! And it's led me here ♥ But oookay you're already breaking my heart. I know people who are like Hannah (not the infertility though) who have just wanted to be mothers, and that's all they've wanted to do with their lives, and it's wonderful because they make beautiful, perfect mothers. But if that was to be taken away from them, like it has been for Hannah, it would be the worst thing in the world. Aw I can't imagine what she's going through, but my heart breaks for her and I think you captured her emotions and thoughts perfectly, and I'm so glad she has Neville to lean on. He's super sweet and Hannah will never be alone ♥ I'm sorry to hear you've been going through similar issues, but I know you are just as strong and beautiful as Hannah, and amazing things will come your way no matter what ♥
Love Bianca x
*Transferred from HPFF*
Gah, this story is heartbreaking. Especially so after reading the A/N at the end. I definitely understand writing as a kind of catharsis for emotions though, as this is something I've done as well when going through difficult things, so I really hope that writing this helped you process things. I'm so sorry you're going through this *hugs*
It's so sad to read Hannah feeling like less of a person, or defective. I can understand why she does, because this one thing she wants that most women are capable of biologically and she's unable to. I can kind of relate to her in a sense, in that for me, depression and anxiety are what make me feel like a defective person, like I'm not the same and not as worthy as a person as someone else. I think it's only too easy to see ourselves just in terms of our flaws, when as Neville points out at the end, there's more to a person than that. After all, who decides what makes a person 'whole'? I know it's a cliche saying but no one is perfect, and just because Hannah happens to have that particular flaw doesn't make her any less of a person, because no one is really 'whole', in one way or another. Poor Hannah, though. I know it's all fine to just talk about flaws being a small part of a whole, but it's never easy to see that right when you're going through the worst of it, and I feel so bad for Hannah as she tries to process this information and how it affects her and Neville.
And it's not just her feeling like less of a person, I can tell there's definitely themes of her feeling like less of a woman, as well. But the ability to have children isn't what defines a woman. And of course Neville sees this - I just love Neville in this story, and how he is supportive of her and loves her no matter what, with the large flaws and the small, and still wants to marry her. Because for him, their love isn't about whether her reproductive system works properly, it's about the fact that the two of them care about each other and work together through the hard times. Despite how sad most of this story is, the end section with Neville has so much hope. Things may be rough, but it's easier to face difficult things with loving people by your side, and that's what she has. I just love Neville, and I'm so glad Hannah has him to help her through this hard time in her life. That ending section just shows why they're such a wonderful couple.
sorry this review partly turned into a philosophical tangent about feminism. I think honestly there's a lot more I could say but I do want to bring it back to the story :P I do like that you made me think about these things though. You can always tell good writing because it leaves you thinking afterwards.
Last but not least I want to say bravo to you for writing this story. Wonderfully written and heartbreaking story, but still so positive at the end. I hope things start looking up for you *hugs*