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Reviews For The Last Biscuit

Name: Gryffin_Duck (Anonymous) · Date: 23 Oct 2018 08:12 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Last Biscuit Chapter: The Last Biscuit

This was so sad! But beautiful at the same time. I love the idea of Minerva giving all her students biscuits over the years. The books never talk about how much counseling the Heads of House surely have to do. They're almost like substitute parents for the students while they're at school. 11 is so young to be away from home for so long. I imagine she consoled a lot of crying children every September. 

You wrote this beautifully! There is a bit of extraneous code after the last line. I'm not sure if that's something that was accidentally copied in or if it's something the archive is doing. 



Name: WriteYourHeartOut (Signed) · Date: 23 Oct 2018 05:55 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Last Biscuit Chapter: The Last Biscuit

Hello there!

What a sweet story! I love how you were able to make a favorite Harry Potter character's death so lovely and peaceful and almost not sad at all! Considering the way most of them have died, it was really beautiful to see a natural death. I also love that McGonagall kept her sharp mind all the way through her old age, and it was only her body that gave up in the end.

The way you tied her biscuits into her death and allowed for them to take us down memory lane and get some additional backstory on where it all began was just really enjoyable and clever and nice. It made for such a nostalgic piece of writing and turned what's normally a very dark subject into something rather peaceful.

Beautiful job! Just a few nitpicky things I spotted:

"The sun shun* through her open windows" - shone, not shun

"And as her soul rolled into Death’s arms, all that he* saw was her loved ones enjoying her biscuits." - *she, not he

Also, you have some odd notations at the end of the chapter that I don't think you meant to include, but probably got accidentally copy+pasted in: "p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 16.0px Cambria} p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 16.0px Cambria; min-height: 19.0px}"

Lastly, I wish we'd have gotten a bit more background in regards to her relationship with Lily and why she was a top three person. We know about Remus through canon, and you provided your own background about her grandmother, but I'd have loved to understand what that something special was involving Lily that made her edge out other favorite students and people from her life. Just as an added bit of insight, is all.

Overall, I really enjoyed this. Thank you for the lovely read!

Tanya



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