Hi, Beth! Team Blue!
I thought I dropped one here in the past (at the previous site), it might be a short review, so I decided to leave a longer one.
Firstly, your description of inside the cave is marvelous, I remembered how J.K.Rowling created the underground world in her books. Your story is also full of fantasy and I like it.
Rolf's grumpy mood (caused by Luna) has been continued from chapter 1, I enjoyed it very much. Then his distraction turned into the other meaning, he recognized her as a witch (woman) not just an annoying Luna Lovegood.
Her interest was focused on his study about the magical creature, the Nitor vermis as well as Rolf's obsession with them, which indicates that they will be a good pair near future and readers will feel happy with it. You did a great job here! The detailed dipctions about Rolf's feeling towards her are all fantastic.
I think I mentioned the colors of the Nitor vermis in the old review. I would like to repeat it again. Luna's POV about the colors is just terriffic and I smiled at Rolf's thought (his favorite is yellow), too.
It's very Luna-ish that she ended in her wicked gash before having a very romantic experience with Rolf. Their life is full of adventure and their interest is developed to the same route. I expect you to write more, please!
Here for our swap:
This was really sweet. I always wondered what Rolf was like and how Luna fell for him.
Just you wait Rolf you'll eventually fall for Luna and she might even convince you about a few things.
I hear Luna is a very difficult character to write but you did a great job.
I love the details you've used to describe Rolf working so hard as an opener. He seems so intent on making a name for himself, so focused on his research that he doesn't notice that he's not alone. It's funny that he thinks at first Luna's exclamation has come from the birds.
Poor Rolf! She's got him so flustered he has no words. He's got some huge chip on his shoulder about not only Luna, but other people in general, which makes me wonder what's up with him. And I like the stiff, formalized mannerism you've given him. It proves his sentiment about people being a waste of time, and that he's hyper focused on what he's doing.
Luna's in her own world here, but her knowledge of things related to Rolf's research blends in well with the narrative. She seems to be there more for the delight of discovery instead of trying to prove something to others... which, now that I think about it... must be Rolf's issue. He hates people, but he feels like he still has to show them that he's worth something. That's definitely a characterization that Luna would be able to deal with.
In my head, I always believed that Luna's "pretend creatures" had some basis in the truth. I love how open to new ideas you wrote her, and the way she reacts to the discovery that the birds really are firds, like Rolf insists. All the elements that you used were great: the details about the new species, the way that Rolf is super-focused on his work, and meeting in a tree (which for some reason, I was super excited about), gave this a great setup. And you threw in some crazy, life-threatening action, which is important too, because researching in the wild can be very dangerous! I'm sure Rolf was horrified, as was I, about the demise of his equipment, and probably a bit more upset that Luna was completely unharmed by the ordeal. I have a feeling that Luna is going to prove her worth far easier than Rolf will.
This was such a fun read! Also, I too have pictured TJ Thyne's Bones character as a great characterization pick for Rolf. Great choice!
*Transferred from HPFF*
I really love reading Luna/Rolf stories, although I don't do it nearly often enough. I really adored this one - very fluffy and lovely!
I really liked the way you characterised Rolf. Usually he's shown as being somewhat like Luna - a little wacky, but I like how you took his wackiness in a different direction. He's a scientist, not a believer in fairytales. Evidence is the air he breathes. And his desire to establish his name, different to that of his grandfather, is the blood that pumps through his veins. The kind of single-minded ness and concentrated for the type of science Rolf does is rather suited to ambition, and I really liked this rather well-rounded look at Rolf, even though the story is less than two thousand words.
I also felt as if I really knew all about the firds by the end of this! You included some lovely details about them, so that they were really part of the story, and not merely a plot device.
Can I get a sequel please? I'd love to read more about these two and how they finally fall in love and go on lots of wacky adventures and discover all the firds!
I'm finally here! Sorry for the delay. ♥
I am so excited to get into this story - I find Luna to be such a fascinating character (and so difficult to get right, but I'll get to that in a minute!), and I love seeing Rolf - from what little we know about him, he must be a fascinating guy in his own right.
You had me hooked from the first paragraph. I loved the way you described Rolf and his surroundings for two reasons: first, the picture you painted was just so incredibly vivid, and second, I could see so much depth and promise in what you said about fkejjows - it was just wonderful world-building.
I also loved the way you showed part of Rolf's motivation as being based around a desire to make a name for himself, rather than just building on his grandfather's fame. It was perfectly done - I can totally see why he'd feel that way, and while I don't know quite how old he is, if he's at all close in age to Luna I'm assuming he's probably in his mid-late 20s or early 30s. That time frame makes perfect sense for this evolution in his career and perspective, which made the character feel realistic and rich from the start.
I wasn't sure how you'd choose to depict Rolf and Luna's initial meaning. Sometimes he's shown as being immediately enchanted by her, and while I've seen that work, I think this is my favorite take on it so far. You got Luna so right (which is a feat in itself! She's so tough to write in so many ways), and his reaction to her... perfect.
His reaction actually brought something important that often gets overlooked, because Luna is such a popular character among fans: she's really quite annoying sometimes! Hermione's irritation in OotP in particular is not unreasonable, and neither is Rolf's here. Luna marches to the beat of her own drummer, and while that's a lot of fun, it can be infuriating when you encounter it in an actual person, especially if they're mucking something that you worked hard for up.
I love the quote at the end - I can't wait to read on! Amazing job!
[review transferred from HPFF]
Transferred from HPFF
26th July 2016:
Hi, Beth! I came back here for your Hot Seat Review!
Ha ha ha, Hurricane Luna! Nice! It's entirely different from Molly's sorrowful story I read yesterday. This story has cheerful and comical mood. It's entertaining. Newt Scamander's centric movie is coming, so I had much expectation before I read this story. You didn't betray me. Rolf's observation scene is very interesting. I wonder what the new species, the fkejjows are like. Did J.K.Rowling write about them? I have to check them in Newt Scamander's book later.
The timing when Luna entered is super! His activity as a scientist, observing firds boosts anticipation for a romance, even if Luna's dressing looks funny. Observing a mating pair raising its young from a hatchling hinted that their romance (Rolf&Luna) will also begin. Rolf can't forget her. Your description about her and their first encounter is super! The visual scene remains in our mind for long. I could imagine his confusion at her annoying chat and behavior (a kind of stalking). I love the scene with Rolf falling from the tree the best.
I'll be back soon.
I'm super excited to be here yay. So this is a pairing that I really haven't read before so I was interested to see what you did with the characters. I always imagined Rolf to be similar to Luna I guess but I really enjoyed this version of him. I can see him and Luna are going to be really work more in a chalk/cheese way.
I like how subtle some of your characterisation from the first sentence when you're just setting the scene we already get a sense of the type of person Rolf is from the way that you describe carefully getting out his things. it's such a small detail but I can already see he's quite strict, practical and sensible character. I'm so impressed that we get to see that through his actions and not just his thought process. it's great story telling.
I loved having a little snippet into Rolf's working life, I really like how you set it up and give a lot of description into his routine. In fics we don't see too much of magical jobs so I enjoyed getting that information but also help set the scene. I love how Luna just pops up so randomly and scares the life out of Rolf!
I love the obvious contrast between Luna and Rolf in this chapter, how calm she is and how annoyed he is getting. It injects a subtle humour isn't this chapter which I really like and it sets up a really strong dynamic between the two of them, I'm looking forward to see where you take this story. the quote you used to inspire this piece is amazing btw xD
- Abbi xo
Hi Beth! I couldn't resist reading some more of your wonderful writing, and since Luna is one of my favourite characters, this seems like a pretty perfect combination.
I'm pretty fascinated by your title - Hurricane Luna. It seems like such a contradiction in terms, because Luna is always such a calm, friendly person, but I really like the idea that she could turn Rolf's life completely upside down, so that he doesn't recognise it from the life he was living before, and in that light it's a brilliant title and concept.
Rolf Scamander is a character that I've only read in a handful of one-shots before, I think, and I was really interested to see your characterisation of him here. You managed to include so many aspects of his character in this one chapter, and it was brilliant. He's so determined to make a name for himself and achieve something in his own right, rather than revising his grandfather's work, and that seems to cause him to be a very scientific and serious person. He doesn't seem to like people very much, either, and I can see how he'll work well with Luna for that already, because she's someone who always tries to be true to herself and doesn't seem to care that much about what other people think of her.
It made me laugh that Rolf had been studying the creatures for days, and was so serious and exact about it - thinking he was making a new discovery - and then Luna appears and says she's been sitting there watching him for days, and her and her father have known about the creatures for a long time. It was so interesting to read their first interaction with each other, and I'm looking forward to reading more of this story when you post it!
Hello, I'm here for the winter wonderland event!
I have missed your writing, Beth. And it's not that I don't miss all the angst that I'm used to from you, but I found this very enjoyable and equally satisfying. Although I might be slightly (okay, largely) biased because LUNA. And honestly, comparing her to a hurricane is both contradictory and absolutely perfect. She has such a light presence, but when noticed and taken into account, she becomes very hard to miss. She also does creep up on you out of nowhere propelled by her sense of wonder.
Rolf is just perfect. He is so serious (ah, scientists. We really do need to learn to chill.) and methodical. He is the complete opposite of Luna who believes in all sorts of things and doesn't try to find an explanation for everything. They will totally balance each other out. Although knowing Luna, she might have a bit of a predominant power. After all, she is a hurricane.
And that quote truly is stunning and inspirational. I think you did it justice with this lovely story.
Overall it was pretty good. Liked the discription. Pretty decent flow. I will say I think the ending was fairly abrupt. Even if you just added a few extra lines that would have added a better closing, it would be fine.
I'm curious though on how they end up getting together after this! :D