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Reviews For After the Storm

Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 19 Jul 2019 07:30 PM · [Report This]
Story:After the Storm Chapter: Chapter 5 A Reunion

Hey there Kenny!

 

I'm back for another review for the House Cup Finale 2019! I'm kind of bummed out that there's only one more chapter to this story. I'm enjoying the adventures of Balsa and want to find out more.

 

I'm glad to see that Shihana and Balsa are making amends with each other. It wouldn't be good if there was continued tension between them on this journey. I think they will have to work together to make sure that Lady Asura stays safe. It does make the scene in the last chapter against the wolves more interesting though. They battled side by side with each other while under the impression that they were not friends.

 

Ooh. So Tanda and Asura have the same gift of mind-reading. That's cool.

 

I'm a bit nervouse about Shihana's motivations now. Is she still secretly working for King Ilhan? It's clear that she loves him no matter how much wrong he does.

 

I would've liked a bit more description about what was going on with Lady Asura's mother, how she gave her the power of the goddess incorrectly, and the relationship with King Ilhan. I feel like a lot of stuff got thrown out in that section without much explanation.

 

I am very excited to see Balsa in battle with all of these warriors. I imagine she will be quite fierce with her short spear. I do hope that the contest wasn't all a distraction though so that they could kidnap Lady Asura while she wasn't there to protect her.

 

I hope you'll write more chapters soon. I look forward to reading more of this adventure.

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 19 Jul 2019 07:08 PM · [Report This]
Story:After the Storm Chapter: Chapter 4 To the Kingdom of Rota

Hey there Kenny!

 

I'm back for another review for the House Cup Finale 2019! I had to come back and find out if the third Empress started her devious plan to overthrow Chagum.

 

It sounds like Lady Asura is in a fair bit of danger from several different directions. Everyone wants to use her to fit their own plans for the New Yogo Kingdom. I hope she is protected in time.

 

I'm curious about them recalling Balsa for a competition. I wonder if that'll be enough distraction and if it will indeed attract all the people that they expect.

 

Mmm...The mushroom stew that Tanda makes sounds delicious. I'm excited to see that you described the meal a little bit. I always love reading food description. I can almost smell the odor coming off of it and now I feel really hungry.

 

I really like that you wrote Balsa and Shihana as such strong female characters. It's nice to see women warriors defending each other. I'm sure they'll dispatch the wolves in no time. They are fierce and brave. I'm sure they will easily defeat the pack of wolves.

 

It's interesting to learn about the dark magic that Lady Asura holds power to. I still don't really understand it all the way, but it sounds like bad memories can trigger it and that it takes a huge amount of moral compromise for her to do it. The fact that they all tell her it will send her back to hell is very worrisome indeed. I'm glad she didn't have to use it this time.

 

Another interesting chapter! I'm off the read the next one now.

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 19 Jul 2019 04:00 AM · [Report This]
Story:After the Storm Chapter: Chapter 3 The Force of Nayugu

Hey there Kenny!

 

I'm back for another review for the House Cup Finale 2019! After that last chapter, I had to know if Chagum fell victim to the schemes and if Balsa had to go back to protecting him.

 

I really liked the scene between Chagum and Tugum where they are sparring. I think the relationship between them is so lovely. It's clear that Tugum has a lot of respect for his older brother. And it sounds like the friendly competition between the two of them helps each of them be a better fighter too.

 

The third empress is an interesting character. I can see that she feels very conflicted. On one hand, she can tell that the relationship between Chagum and Tugum is very healthy and good, but the jealousy and desire for power is definitely creeping in. The way she thinks about what would've happened had Chagum not returned is very worrisome.

 

The girl who might be the return of Sarda is very interesting. I'm not quite sure what it means yet, but it sounds like it could cause a big political upheaval.

 

It's interesting that Chagum might legislate monogamy in their court system. I can see how that might make the third Emperess a bit nervous. It could hypothetically delegitimize her position, although I'd imagine a man as just as Chagum would create some allowance to deal with polygamy in previous generations.

 

This was a good chapter and is a fun story so far! I look forward to reading more soon.

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 13 Jul 2019 10:09 PM · [Report This]
Story:After the Storm Chapter: Chapter 2 Dream

Hey Kenny!

 

I'm back for another review for the House Cup Finale 2019! I remember reading the first chapter of this quite a while back and I noticed that there are four new chapters posted! Time to catch up.

 

Aww. Like I said in my first review, Balsa and Tanda are so sweet. It's clear that they have such a loving relationship. He really seems dedicated to keeping her comfortable and safe.

 

One little correction that you may want to make...You call Asura the Goddess of Destroy a couple of times. It should actually be Goddess of Destruction.

 

Asura's warning is very ominous and I think it should be trusted based on her prior history with Tanda. It seems that she feels she owes him for his help and that by warning him to watch after Balsa and the New Yogo Kingdom, she's trying to help him in return. I wonder what it is that could be about to happen.

 

Chagum seems to be the emperor or king and taking very good precautions to keep himself safe. Imagine having people to taste your food for poison. It's nice that he seems to take a few moments to reflect on how loyal his friends and servants are to him.

 

Oh and here is the attempt to overthrow him and it's coming from his little brother, it sounds like. I like that his immediate response is that he needs proof. I think it's important to be loyal to family and not to fall into fear mongering traps, but he should definitely be careful. If things are as Mon says, then Chagum is in serious danger.

 

I wonder if Balsa will come back to defend Chagum.

 

This story is very intriguing so far! I'll definitely be back for another chapter soon.

 

~Kaitlin




Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 15 Aug 2018 11:18 AM · [Report This]
Story:After the Storm Chapter: Chapter 3 The Force of Nayugu

Hey, Kenny! Thank you for letting me know that Chapter 3 is up! I’m so happy to be able to review it. :)

 

Oooh so this is where the overthrow plot came to be! I just wanted to compliment you on how easy you made Chapter Four to understand, even though Chapter Three hadn’t been validated yet. I always think it’s a really good skill to write different perspectives and chapters without making the story too confusing, especially since chapters take time to update and readers may forget.

 

Your descriptions are, as always, beautiful in this chapter. I always love how you manage to surround descriptions of action (such as Tugum and Chagum’s martial arts practicing) with descriptions of the scenery next to it. For example – “From the gap of the cherry blossoms revealing the fresh green leaves…” Which is beautiful. I love the way you write! It’s even more impressive when you consider that English isn’t your first language, which is just mindboggling. <3

 

I also really appreciated the way you described the history of Chagum’s rise to power, and how the third Empress began to concoct her plan for overthrowing Chagum. I always love a good power play, and I’m so excited to see where this story goes from here!

 

Love,

Eva

 

[Quodpot – “Action/Adventure”]



Author's Response:

Hi, Eva. I am very impressed by your hard work on reviewing for the forum members. You must have needed too much energy. I really aporeciate for your effort.

 

As I responded before, what Moribito fandom is interesting, you can enjoy the spiritual Fantasy, besides, the Asian martial arts reading Moribito books, watching anime or the TV series. Even elementary school has the series in the library so that boys or girls can enjoy the strong female protagonist, Balsa and her future husband and a kind herbalist, Tanda. I tried writing the essence.

 

K

 

 



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 13 Aug 2018 10:01 AM · [Report This]
Story:After the Storm Chapter: Chapter 4 To the Kingdom of Rota

Hey Kenny! Chapter Three seems to be missing, but I wanted to continue the story anyway so here I am! Reading Chapter Four haha.

 

Ooooh so I love that Balsa’s going to be guarding Asura. I love that. It gives her something to do, and I get to see her skills in action hehe. When Shihana and King Rota were discussing the plan at first, I was so excited. I didn’t know who either Shihana or King Rota was, but at the end of this chapter I can safely say that Shihana is a very, very cool character. Still don’t know about King Rota, though.

 

I don’t know how you always manage to include a delicious-sounding food in every chapter, but you do. Wow, I am so hungry right now reading these descriptions of mai, that stew with the savory mushrooms. I am so, so hungry right now. Maybe I should go and eat some breakfast haha.

 

The way you described Balsa and Shihana’s fight against the wolves was so beautiful. I could envision it so easily, with the two of them both being elegant and graceful in their deadly battle, stepping around each other and just reading each other’s minds about what they were about to do next. I could totally see why the rest of the crew just stopped and watched them hahaha. Also, this line made me chuckle a bit – “What are you looking at? Throw the torches at the wolves!” – because of how perfectly timed it was lmao.

 

I’m proud of Asura for not using her magic.

 

Good job, Kenny! This story is wonderfully-written. <3

 

Love,

Eva

 

[This review was left for Quodpot, for the “Action/Adventure” category.]



Author's Response:

Hi, thank you again for your kindness, Eva. 

Shihana is also a powerful female character as strong as Balsa. I didn't watch the anime, however, we enjoyed watching the TV series and reading the books. I am sure you can enjoy them just like you did while reading or watching HP series. Both Moribito and HP fandom is full of action and adventure, that's why both children and adults can enjoy these fandoms.

 

K

 

 



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 13 Aug 2018 09:32 AM · [Report This]
Story:After the Storm Chapter: Chapter 2 Dream

Oh no! A plot to usurp the throne? That’s never good.

 

I really like how you’ve immediately leapt into the plot of the story. Right after introducing the two characters and their relationship to each other in the first chapter, you then tell us in this chapter what the story’s all about, which I definitely appreciate. Some stories take far too long to get to the plot, but yours don’t, which I like. <3

 

There seem to be elements of magic that I don’t quite understand – which is okay, since I’m not familiar with the fandom at all. What I’m gleaning from this, though, is that Tanda can swim through this dreamlike dimension, where he meets souls and spirits of other people and interacts with them. And so in one dream-like state, he meets this sweet girl named Asura. At first I was wondering who she was, and what importance she would have to the story…and then at the end of the chapter, Mon mentions a girl who can’t speak!! And in my head I was shouting, “IS THAT ASURA??”

 

Chagum seems like such a kind person. I found it super ironic when he joked about the assassination plot, which turned out to be true haha. Anyway, I hope he survives this mess! <3

 

Love,
Eva

 

[This review was left for Quodpot, for the “Action/Adventure” category.]



Author's Response:

Hu, Eva. Thank you again for your kindness. All members in the community miss you. Your insight is always encouraging the authors on the forums. Me also feel it, too.

 

I really wish this Moribito series will be translated or made for the movies in the world.  The story line indicates people should respect nature and human-beings is a small existance on the earth. The author of Moribito studied Australian aborigine, so her story is very influenced by aborigine's way of thinking about the world. 

 

I tried inserting the essence of mystic spirits using some episodes from Moribito.

 

K



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 13 Aug 2018 09:18 AM · [Report This]
Story:After the Storm Chapter: Chapter 1 Mutual Affection 相思相愛

Hey Kenny! I’ve heard you talk a lot about the Moribito fandom, so I was curious to check your story out. :)

 

I don’t know the two characters you’ve written about at all, but I love the way you’ve presented them. I love the idea of them. My favorite thing is how Tanda seems to be this good-natured, laidback, hardworking dreamer, while Balsa is very practical, clear-headed, and direct. The idea that Tanda is the cook of the family seems to make sense given both of their professions and personalities, and I gotta say, the food sounds absolutely delicious. I’m in love with Japanese food, though I’ve never tried raw egg (which has been on my to-do list for ages), so seeing that Balsa was eating a soup with raw in it made me sooo jealous.

 

The writing in this chapter is so heartwarming and pretty. Like I said in previous reviews, you always manage to add these beautiful touches of description no matter what you’re writing. For instance, this line here is just beautiful – “He loved her fiery temper, incandescence like flaming fire and her pure heart like the surface of a perfectly clear water on which nobody can pretend to ignore the truth.” I mean, that’s just so poetic. Your writing is always very poetic in the best of ways, Kenny.

 

Marvelous job with this chapter! I can’t wait to see what the next one holds. <3

 

Love,

Eva

 

[This review was left for Quodpot, for the “Action/Adventure” category.]



Author's Response:

Thank you Eva, spending your precious time for this, even you didn't know the fandom, Moribito.

I am glad to know you enjoyed imagining the food you've never experienced.

Be careful if you try the raw egg, I am afraid it doesn't good for a person whose stomach is not strong enough to digest it. ;)

 

As Moribito fandom is not known well, I hope more series will be translated in the future. Many thanks again, your encouraging words are helpful for me.

 

K



Name: Pixileanin (Signed) · Date: 09 Jun 2018 06:49 PM · [Report This]
Story:After the Storm Chapter: Chapter 3 The Force of Nayugu

Hi there!  Tag! I wanted to come back to your story to see where it leads.


Now the path is clear.  I’m starting to get a feel for the political movements in the story.  It’s interesting that the third Empress is still maneuvering for her son’s position of power, even though he seems to be content in the position that he has, and likes and supports Chagum.  


I saw a show once that had this type of political maneuver, where the mother was trying to get her child into power against another person.  So this type of thing seems familiar to me as a storyline. It’s also interesting that she’s using Chagum’s mother’s position against his idea to introduce monogamy into the system.  If she could stop his idea from becoming law, it would benefit her son, and also herself.


She seems to be very crafty, this third Empress.  Of course I don’t know all of her backstory, but I imagine that most of what she is doing is not just to give her son the power, but to make her own position more powerful.  I think she craves the position of the mother of the leader more than she craves the leadership role for her own son. At least, that’s what I am feeling from her character.


I am curious to see what the girl’s reaction will be when she meets the third Empress.  I wonder if the girl has control over the potential power she has, or if it’s hidden from her.  


Fascinating plot.  I’m waiting for chapter 4!

 

Pix



Author's Response:

Hi, Pix! Thank you for your kindness to care my story.

I really appreciate your care the other lions as well.

I guess it's hard for you to understand this fandom, as you have not read Moribito books, only two of them have been translated into English.

So I'd like to say thank you for sparing time to read this chapter.   

 

I think you captured the essence of this story very well. I respect your understanding the entire storyline.

I try to get together information Uehashi, the original writer of Moribito and reproduce her fandom mixed with my original idea.

 

Thank you again for your awesome review!

 

K



Name: Bardic Magic (Signed) · Date: 06 Jun 2018 06:54 PM · [Report This]
Story:After the Storm Chapter: Chapter 2 Dream

Kenny,

I really must see (or read) this Moribito! I did just a little research so I could get the feel for your story...wow...it sounds like a great storyline.

 

Please explain the "Sague/ Sagu". I'm guessing they are different states or aspects of the spirit world?

 

So, Asura is the girl from Taru tribe AND from Tanda's dream/spirit state...interesting! Oh...I just figured it out (I think)! Sague/Sagu is the physical realm? So, Asura can't talk in the physical realm because she bound her powers in the physical realm?

 

Wow...this is getting good! The political intrigue is a nice addition.

 

I'll go straight to the next chapter!

 

Kevin



Author's Response:

Hi, Kevin! It's always my pleasure seeing your awesome review.

Your feedback reminded me of introducing Moribito's world such as Sagu. I'll write a blog about more information of Moribito Fandom.

  Sagu is the place most of human-beings can't see. A few people can feel the existence and sometimes can see the spiritual creatures there. Water- spirits spend their lives producing new lives just like the animals or humans in our world. Their power is enormous. They influence the living things in our world, mostly in the shape of the season, spring. The concept might be similar to Easter, joy of new lives.

 Asura has the opposite power against water spirit. Her power was said the same level as the old queen who had controlled people in the old kingdom, when Taru people were in the highest rank in the society. But the power was considered as the evil one,  so the magical power which could destroy everything had been sealed. Asura happened to have the same power. But her mother was killed blamed for leading her daughter to be the goddess of destroyer.

 Including political things, I need to explain on my blog more. Thank you for reminder, Kevin!



Name: Bardic Magic (Signed) · Date: 06 Jun 2018 06:31 PM · [Report This]
Story:After the Storm Chapter: Chapter 1 Mutual Affection 相思相愛

Hello Kenny,

What a serene and heart-warming beginning.

 

We see that Balsa and Tanda are warriors at heart and enjoy the ritual of teasing eachother with playful banter. We also see that they love eachother quite dearly.

 

I like the way you've shown us their personalities by using vivid descriptions of nature. It contrasts their natures...both powerful and serene.

 

On to the next chapter!

 

Kevin



Author's Response:

 Thank you again, Kevin. I'll stop by yours as well after voting for PoG on the forums.

 

Balsa and Tanda are protagonists in Moribito. Your insight let me think over more information which should be intoroduced on the forums.

The author of Moribito didn't write romance between Tanda and Balsa much. She focused on political intrigue, nature and war more in her books.

As HP fanfiction authors write more about romance, I followed it.   :)



Name: Pixileanin (Signed) · Date: 24 May 2018 07:48 PM · [Report This]
Story:After the Storm Chapter: Chapter 2 Dream

Hi Kenny!  I’m back for our review swap on Chapter 2. :)


So, this is where my knowledge of Moribito is going to be a challenge.  I know this is a dream, and I know that Tanda is in a dream state, and has been called by someone.  I assume this dream state is different from “Sague”, but I can’t wrap my head around the two different states.  It seems to be that the dream state allows him to go into other dimensions, but “Sague” is more of a meditative, grounded state?  I hope I can understand these things better as I read on. The concept is fuzzy within the first two paragraphs. This is definitely where I wish I knew more about Moribito and how things are supposed to work.


Ok, so I understand that Asura has come to warn Tanda of some danger that is coming to his wife.  I also got the feelings of jealousy that Tanda had when he learned that Asura sensed this danger before he did.  The political situation went a little over my head, and I don’t think the English in that section was as clear as you wanted it to be.  Asura, as the Goddess of Destruction, must have great power, and be something of a Seer into the future, or maybe she simply senses danger, since her powers are locked away inside of her?  Is her power so great that she was unable to control it? Ack! I am missing backstory here, but I’m trying. :)


The end of the first scene is very clear.  Tanda knows exactly what his wife is going to do when she gets this information.  She’s going to put herself into danger, and that’s exactly not what Tanda wants at all.  The description of how he goes back to “Sagu” is tender, showing the closeness of their relationship.  I get the feeling that they’ve just returned to a peaceful state, and they haven’t been away from the war for very long.  He’s not too keen on the idea of going back to the danger and turmoil so soon, or ever. I don’t blame him.


Chagum seems like a decent sort of guy.  The peace in his kingdom does him some good.  Now I understand the timeline. It’s been a year.  He comes across as a grateful and benevolent man. I like him already!  


So Chagum has a younger brother, Tugum, who has a mother, the third Empress.  Hmm… the way you presented it, I assume that Chagum has a different mother, and the third Empress wants her own son on the throne instead of Chagum.  Chagum seems to have a good relationship with Tugum, I guess...Maybe? He doesn’t think too much of Tugum, and asks directly about the Empress’ plans.


This Mon fellow, I find him interesting too.  He used to be an enemy, but Chagum has pulled him in close.  This is a wise man, this Chagum.


Ok, I hope you can see what I got from the story so far.  The plot is very intriguing, and after seeing the characters talk about what’s going on, I’m starting to get a better picture of the political turmoil that Asura warned Tanda about.  


Cool development!

 



Author's Response:

Hi, Pixi! Thank you for your deep insight here! I'll really appreciate for it.

Yes, Moribito Fandom contains many aspects, such as political issues, conspiracy, battles in the field and global warming related nature, the origin of all living things that are mostly from Aborigine's thinking way. The author of Moribito's has studied about Aborinige in Aurstralia for a long time. 

 Sagu represents the source of all living things. Most of Sagu creatures are water spirits. They have powerful energy. When they produce new lives, their power get enormous and they influence our world as the season, spring.

 

 Asura's power stands in the opposite of Sagu spring power. Her power was forced to be active against her will by the other Taru tribe people including her mother who was killed being blamed for that.Taru tribe are in the lowest in Rota Kingodm, but they were in the highest in the past for they had the goddess of destruction called Taruhamaya. Asura's power came from the goddess.

 

 Talking of Mon and the other fellows, there was a story from the book 1 of Moribito. I need to explain about it in detail including Chagum's half life in my blog! Thank you for reminding me of it, Pixi!

 



Name: Pixileanin (Signed) · Date: 15 May 2018 01:12 PM · [Report This]
Story:After the Storm Chapter: Chapter 1 Mutual Affection 相思相愛

Hi Kenny!  I'm here from Review Tag. FOR YOU!

Just starting off with a disclaimer that I have NO CLUE about this fandom or characters. Call me a newbie.  I'll just roll with reviewing this like an Original Fiction story.  Because... no clue.

These two characters are so sweet together.  They truly care for one another.  I was sorry to hear about Tanda's lost hand in the war.  It's so telling, the way that Balsa notices how her husband had so many skills in spite of only having one hand.  She looks for the strengths in him.  I like that about her.

I also like a man who is willing and adept at domestic chores, and also someone who knows how to put food together with grace.  There's that too.

This might only be my impression, but the way that Balsa described the weather and how she missed her bed, it appears that she hasn't been in that hut on the mountain for very long.  It makes me wonder where she came from, and what she left behind.  

Thanks for a lovely start to the story!  I should like to read more of it.

Pix



Author's Response:

Hi, Pixi. Thank you for stopping by. You are the second person to drop feedback here. With feedback, I can continue this story. I guess it's hard to leave a review on the other fandom you don't know. I feel for you, the other new fandoms posted on the forums let me feel in the same way.

 

You captured the right image. Balsa has been on the hard long journey fighting many enemies to survive. She saved two children in the books. They made animation and TV drama after the books by Uehashi Nahoko hit in the market.my child's mate is a big fan of her books like Harry Potter fans.

 

Tanda is also the victim of the war. Our history is pathetic. We lost the previous war and Okinawa is still suffering from post war things. And we had the horrible Tsunami and earthquake in 2011. People from and in Tohoku still endure the pain. But government never give up Nukes entirely.

 

Uehashi has studied about native people in Australia. The story is very Asian but the whole story is brilliant Fantasy and was highly praised in German as a piece of great literature for children.

I will add more information about Moribito Fandom later.

 

K



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 24 Feb 2018 05:36 PM · [Report This]
Story:After the Storm Chapter: Chapter 1 Mutual Affection 相思相愛

Hey Kenny! 

 

Just dropping by to leave you a review! I wasn't sure about reading this particular story as I'm not familiar with the novel, anime, or manga that this is about. I was happy to see it was easy to follow even without knowing the background.

 

This was a really sweet scene between partners. Tanda seems to really care for Balsa. You can see it in his actions. He serves her food, clears plates, teases her, and covers her with a quilt when she falls asleep. That's such a nice dynamic. 

 

I thought your description was really nice throughout this. It was really lovely writing! 

 

Good job! 

 

~Kaitlin



Author's Response:

Hi, Kaitlin! Thank you for stopping by while your adventure cross the world. :D

We miss you on the forums, at the same time, it's our great pleasure to know you enjoy a new journey with Mr.Tart. :)

 

It's always a fun read to your reviews and blog. This chapter has some spots describing Uehashi's perception around food in Moribito series. I am happy to know you could capture of them, of course, I know your career, it's plausible. :)

 

It's honour you felt each sweet moment between Balsa and Tanda, which Uehashi hasn't focus so much.

 

Thank you, again. Can't wait for the next blog, Kaitlin:D

 

Kenny

 

 



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