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Reviews For Escaping the Maze

Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 24 Oct 2018 01:15 AM · [Report This]
Story:Escaping the Maze Chapter: Chapter 1

Review for Maze #1 Challenge

 

Review is done through the lens of a rambling Claw who recognizes her severe deficits in reflective reading.


Several sentences into Escaping the Maze, I realized that I didn’t recognize any of the character’s names. “Hmm, must not be a Harry Potter story.” I know, I have not so deep thoughts. About …“ of the way through the story, I realized that I had no idea which character was which, so I scrolled back up and actually read the introduction information. “Oh CSI, I can do that. Oh no, Maxim Ride.” Vague memories of wrapping a blue book for my son’s Christmas present, a book I never cracked open. Never fear maxiumride.wikia.com to the rescue. Perhaps I should have done a bit of prereading before jumping straight into the story. So, after reading up on the Flock, I enjoyed the first chapter.


There is a nice combination of dialogue and action. Your pacing is good and you’ve still created at atmosphere of fear among the flock when the word Erasers is heard. You also have some nice descriptive language but this one jumped out at me: “In short, they stood out like vultures in a flock of doves.  Or, you know, maybe dirty, mutant, bird kids in a crowd of humans.” which brings me to a question. Are avian hybrids considered the vultures compared to human doves? Or is it more their dirt and grime that is being referred to?”

 

While I don’t know Maxium Ride, the writing is very good and keeps a reader’s interest.



Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 23 Oct 2018 02:34 PM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Escaping the Maze Chapter: Chapter 3

Hi, Jill. I came back to your story grabbing a chance at the forums activity, Maze review challenge.

 

I read through three chapters and I chose to drop my thought in this chapter, 'cause I felt this chapter sounds the most maze-ish story among the three chapters of your story. The boy named Iggy is blind and it sounds he has been wandering in the maze, he couldn't run away from the bad guy who seemed to have been abusing him. And his condition, the handicapped situation made it worse, he was trapped in a maze.

 

 I wonder why you seem to like writing about a person who has destiny to be abused or is forced into the situation, 'being a slave to someone' since I read your other stories, Andromeda and Merlin. I guess you may encounter the students who were in the smilar situation in the past to Merlin's or Iggy's...   or just you like sad situations when you write a story? Hmm... your theme looks like a maze itself.

 

Anyway, the previous chapters are fabulous, I guess readers can't stop reading to know the next, what will happen, expecially to Iggy. We hope he will be happy after two real policemen help him. It's scary, you can't see anything and moreover, he was forced to sit up for hours in a dark room alone feeling fear he would be killed (finished) soon. I'm relieved to know he will be okay after the two cops found him.

 

Though I don't know the other fandoms you picked up for this story, I feel for Iggy and your warm heart in each description of the two policemen who tried to rescue Iggy. I believe Iggy will find a way out of the maze, the fear.

 

K

 

 



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