Login

Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 13 Jul 2019 04:20 PM · [Report This]
Story:Respect. Power. Life. Chapter: Chapter 4

Ugh for a moment when he realized that BEllatrix didn’t now James and Sirius were animagi, I thought that might be the part of him that still wanted to protect them. It hurts that he is already thinking entirely about them as tools in a very dangerous game. They haven’t yet told him that they’re specifically targeting the Potters, but he’s ot to realize that this is life and death for them as well as him. Come on Peter, your self image can’t be that important.

 

I don’t totally buy the idea that Bellatrix truly sees Peter as a potential equal, so I read her “we promise you the respect you are due” as sort of tongue in cheek, as she knows he is not ultimately due that much respect, but he doesn't catch onto her meaning 

 

What she says about the opportunity to be a part of the winning team is a strong echo of some of his own thoughts in the previous chapter. She certainly is good at getting inside his head. 

 

I also see some wit in your last paragraph, about promises that are ridiculous in their naivete. I don’t know if this was intentional, but this seems like an even morenaive promise. 

 

I kind of expected this story to get to the point were he realizes he is specifically going to be responsible for his friends’ deaths. He had quite abit of questioning and uncertainty early on, and I wonder if that realization would reawake any doubts, or if he’d be tooo far gone by then.

 

This was an interesting story, as much as it hurt my little heart to read. I’m glad you took some time to consider Peter and at least give him a little hint of sympathy.



Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 13 Jul 2019 04:10 PM · [Report This]
Story:Respect. Power. Life. Chapter: Chapter 3

Okay, now we’re jumping forward a bit. Both of those chapters ended in very strong ways, so that plus the short chapters I’m really feeling the narrative inertia here. I like “Two days to figure out what was most important, his life or his principles” And honestly, that’s such an impossible choice, I would expect very few people to choose the other way. 

 

And I really like how you have him go about considering his choice. It’s interesting that he chose kind of a research approach. It’s almost like he doesn’t just want to choose his life out of necessity, he wants to convince himself that it’s the right thing to do, that his principles weren’t that worth it in the first place. That’s a really interesting atke for him. 

 

I don’t think Peter’s mother is ever mentioned in canon, but I like that you brought in heis loyalty to her here, and that the difference between her dying if he told gives some important context to his choices.

 

Peter being manipulated into seeing his friends as against him (and then catching himself but being unable to stop it) really breaks my heart. I would like to request a fix it fic where the other marauders assure him otherwise please. 

 

I like what you say about death feeling inevitable but him still wanting to have a say in when his happened.



Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 13 Jul 2019 03:59 PM · [Report This]
Story:Respect. Power. Life. Chapter: Chapter 2

Ah, we’re picking up right where we left off. I thought the multiple short chapters would involve different scenes, but I don’t mind this setup. I find shorter chapters more manageable, and it really contributes to the sense of drama by where you put the chapter break between 1 and 2.

 

At first it wasn’t really clear to me what the point of the polyjuice potion was, especially if she took so little that it wore off so quickly during the meeting. But it does present a really interesting narrative opportunity for Peter, to have his guard down and be interested in the first chapter and then have this big shift when he realizes who he’s talking to. 

 

Oh, Bellatrix, purring about the dark lord like she does.

 

Nooooo. Okay, so my feelings on Peter is that the other marauders did have genuine affection and friendship for him, so it sucks to here Bellatrix say otherwise. Now, I’m not sure if her saying that means it’s true, or if she’s just really good at honing in on Peter’s insecurities. I choose to believe the latter. 

 

Mm she sure knows how to drive a hard bargain.



Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 13 Jul 2019 03:52 PM · [Report This]
Story:Respect. Power. Life. Chapter: Chapter 1

I really like the description of Bellatrix, and how despite not having a wand or robes she is unmistakably witchy. I think she’s an interesting person to approach Peter over this. She doesn’t have the reputation of being the most socially smooth, but she’s passionate and can be effective at convincing people to her side through that. I don’t imagine she would really fake belief in someone, so I like to think that she isn’t just being condescending  to eter, but genuinely sees him as valuable.

 

I like that you give PEter the confidence to defend himself. I think he is often seen as spineless and needing to rely on others for his protection, so I like seeing this confidence. Or at least a bit of it, as directly afterwards he wishes one of the braver ones was there with him XD It’s a good balance that you’ve established though.

 

I also wonder how Peter knew spells that Snape had come u with.

 

Okay, I’m more or less on the Peter defense squad, and even I think leading with him having a great mind is laying it on a bit thick. Bellatrix sure knows how to manipulate what she wants though. You also make a good point that becoming an animaus at a young age is an impressive achievement that not just James and Sirius should be credited for. I wonder if Bellatrix was aware he had done that, or if there’s more to the ability for complex sells she referred to.

 

Also a good lead for her to say they want him to spy on Dumbledore, not his friends.



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 10 Mar 2018 06:38 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Respect. Power. Life. Chapter: Chapter 4

Of course I knew it would end like this. And once again, what's more shocking is how quietly it all happened, like it was no big deal at all. Of course, it's obvious that it was, break something else. Promises made as a teenager, ridiculous in their naiveté. I love this sentence, so simple and so powerful, just like Peter's choice is. And even if I hate him for it, I feel like I can't completely blame him, when he's been offered everything on one hand and torture and death on the other. And yet, it is just so wrong, and I can't even...

This was such a great trip into Peter's psychology and a possible way he was tricked into the Death Eaters. I will admit, it's very different from my headcanon, but it was so convincing and so realistic and so well executed and so terrifying. Spectacular job, my dear!

Thank you so much for entering the challenge and for giving me this enthralling story!

Lots of love,

Chiara



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 10 Mar 2018 06:23 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Respect. Power. Life. Chapter: Chapter 3

Oh, poor Peter... well, actually, he should just tell Dumbledore, if not his friends, what's going on. I do understand he's trying to protect his Mum, still... you can't keep something so big for yourself, it's just too much. How could Bellatrix know if he asked for help? Dumbledore would have a solution...

But yes, I suppose I would be terrified of talking to anyone about it too. What's shocking about this is how coldly he's considering everything, evaluating the chances of one side of the war against the other, as if morals had nothing to do with it. Being so practical in a situation like this... it's weird, but it makes sense? And the way he observes his friends, suddenly seeing all the flaws Bellatrix listed... come on, Peter! Get yourself together! They love you and you know it! Stop being so spiteful!

But I do understand his thought process... I don't like it, but I understand it... and I love how you ended this, with him reassuring his mother that everything was fine. I could so picture that moment, I loved it so much. I wish I didn't know what decision is going to take in two days, but sadly I know... :( I guess I'll move to the last chapter now...



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 10 Mar 2018 06:06 AM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Respect. Power. Life. Chapter: Chapter 2

I knew it was Bellatrix! Well, I wasn't completely sure, but I did have a feeling it was her... and wow, their exchange... I'm a bit shocked about how straightforward she was, but it is perfect for her character. And how quietly and naturally she threatened to kill him if he refused... Of course his first reaction was a dry no, but I loved how naive and childish his complaints were and how relaxed she was in her answers. I loved that she used all those arguments about how his friends never cared for him, which is what part of him surely believes already, even if he's denying it now. The way she's playing all the right cards, and then that threat of murder at the end... once again, I'm just curious to know what happens next, so I'll move to the next chapter immediately. Great characterization and dynamics, anyway, I'm really loving this so far.



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 10 Mar 2018 05:50 AM · starstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Respect. Power. Life. Chapter: Chapter 1

Hey, there, Mel!

I'm here checking out entries for my Peter challenge! Sorry it took me so long to come here, btw, I thought it would be better to read all entries together... well, I'm here now! ;)

Interesting first chapter... I'm not sure why Peter decided to go to an appointment without even knowing with whom whilst in the middle of a war he's fighting... curiosity and an unusual for him overconfidence, I guess? I still think it was a bit crazy, but I will accept it. Curiosity can be a quite powerful thing (since we are talking about power) and he is a Gryffindor, after all, so...

I absolutely loved his thoughts, how he wishes for James or Sirius to be there to give him support at first, how bitter and disbelieving he is at the suggestion that he is powerful... it's all so very much like him. I especially loved the contrast between his low self-esteem and his pride, like when he used the word oxymoron. It's funny, because in one of my fics I described Peter's life as a "neverending series of oxymorons", so we are in synch on this (and I love figures of speech, btw).

Now I'm really curious about how Peter will react at the request. I really want him to just say no and leave, but since I know how things are supposed to go, I guess this isn't the case? Why are making me sad already? Well, guess I'll just move to the next chapter and find out.

Chiara



Submit a Review