FanficTalk Archive
Unleash Your Fandom
Hey, Pix! Hello! Here for our swap (abysmally late as usual...)
I promise I will take an honest attempt at "How to retire" at some point, but for now let me enjoy another one of your great HP character vignettes, okay? :P After reading that cameo of Snape in your McGonagall story, I wanted to see a bit more of your interpretation of him, and I have to say I really loved this little moment in his life... poor Sev... I must admit that I did have fun with how you turned the whole thing around at the end... am I a bad person? :P
You really have to feel for Severus reading this... he truly was dealt an unfair hand in life... I'm not sure that justifies some of the choices he made, but I can understand how hard it must be, when you have to work twice as hard as the people around you who just have it so much easier, and still not getting the recognition you deserve. So I can understand why this apprenticeship would be important for him. Potions is the one thing where he can shine, and this is his one chance to have an enviable title, to prove his worth and make a name for himself, so of course it would be so important for him.
I almost expected his rival to be a known name... Lily, perhaps... or one of his previous housemates... or even one of the Marauders... but your choice of an unknown aristocrat is even better! Poor Severus, again, feeling so inadequate, like he doesn't stand a chance against this well-dressed young man with his super expensive potions equipment... in my head I was there saying, "Come on, Sev! Stop looking at his perfect instruments and making comparisons and just start working! The Potion Master is not going to judge based on that, just give it your best shot! You are surely much better than him!" And I was right! Severus' talent and work ethic won on Chester Flaversham the Third's modern stuff advantage. It's not the expensive instruments that make the best potioneer, right? On the contrary, the excessive purity of the potion lessened its effectiveness... I love the irony of that! Well done, Severus! :D
But speaking of irony... the apprenticeship is not what Severus was expecting to be, and he's back squeezing flobberworms, lol! :P I'm sure it will pay off in the long run, but right now I can imagine his frustration and disappointment, and it is so amusing... :P But maybe it was to be expected... what are apprentices for, if not for doing the unpleasant hard work? Still, poor Severus and his glory dreams... :P
This was another great one-shot! I love how you play with irony and give us unexpected endings and how you manage to capture the essence of the characters you write about! Your writing is always such a pleasure to read, too! I had a lot of fun with this fic, thank you for writing and sharing! And for the swap, of course! <3
Big snowball hug,
Chiara
Hi Pix! This review is for the Magical Menagerie (and because the story looks so sweet).
I love your description of Snape juicing flobberworms. It sounds so gross! I also like that he’s already tired of being a Death-Eater or, at least, a low-level one, and that he’s looking for a way out. I like how you’ve shown how ambitious he is and eager to prove himself.
Good choice to use Snape’s travel time to his test to review his desire to move up in the world. I also like how he’s totally confident the night before the test, but he loses his confidence as he actually gets to the Potion Master’s storefront. I wonder if Theodorus Netterheim’s demeanor had any influence on the way Snape would later teach his own students.
Expensive Robes is the perfect foil for Snape. I really enjoyed the time you spent describing his fancy equipment and how nonchalantly he behaved during the test. I also really enjoyed Snape’s inner monologue while he’s working. He’s angry that life is unfair, but then he pulls himself together and does what he knows how to do. And, of course, he’s able to deduce why his potion works better than Stiff Robes’s potion, even while he’s busy being angry about life not being fair.
I think my favorite part of the story is that Snape ends right where he started: juicing flobberworms. It’s so true that Apprentices have to do the grunt work!
Thanks for the fun read!
-Noelle
Author's Response:Hi Noelle!
I always felt like Snape had a great sense of ambition, and that he was always thwarted in his attempts to rise above his station in life. It's the true tragedy of his character, that he always wanted bigger and better, but was never put in a position for him to achieve that. Yes, he comes full circle, but hopefully with training, he'll get that Potion Master certificate he so badly wants.
Thanks so much for your lovely review! Both Snape and Netterheim are in Until We Close Our Eyes For Good, but that was written back when I was a wee little fic writer, and my style was so much less polished back then.
Pix
Hi, Pixi. Thank you again for joining Auror's Tale Story Challenge Season 4.
When I finished reading your story, this turned to be one of my favorite fanfictions. This is the best canon, you created how excellent Snape’s potion ability was. And I like the plot, the process how he could achieve the goal to be an apprentice.
Without new-aged contraptions, he could show his talent to a master. I wished he would beat the rich competitor, I believe the readers will pray for him to win while reading this, just like me. The joy of reading HP world is got from the protagonist's success in the end. Just like I enjoyed the process how Harry conquered his miserable fate, I could enjoy your Snape's success story. I often held my breath at each scene feeling empathy with his angsty thoughts.
You haven't ended this story as just a success story. You prepared the comical last scene. In spite of the blue print Snape had in his mind, he ended with squeezing flobberworms after all his effort. :D Many kudos on your work.
K
Author's Response:Hi Kenny!
Ah yes. This was a prize review. Wow. You really liked this story. That's so great. Thank you! Snape had to be at the top of his game in potions. I figured he was a hard worker, and he'd be the best there was. Thanks so much for the awesome review!
Pix
Hello again Pix, here for 4/5 prize reviews! :)
Alrighty so I'm not one who usually likes to read about Snape but I actually quite enjoyed this piece for him! So I'm a chemistry major and I just LOVE anything that's written when a huge focus of it is on Potions because that's essentially what I want to do for a career, ya know? An apprenticeship under a Potions Master is something I never really thought about for Snape, mostly because I've never really thought about what he did between the end of the first War and when he started teaching at Hogwarts. I think it's a nice interlude for those times and makes a lot of sense! The parallel between the flobberworm essence at the beginning and then cycling back to it at the end was nicely done. It emphasizes the sometimes unrealistic expectations people have when they exit school and what kind of job they'll then have right away -- idealizing to quickly leads to disappointment when your first job isn't everything it's cracked up to be, and that's a life lesson that I think everyone should learn. It means people, in this case Severus, can grow and understand how it is that you get to a certain stage and get respect -- hard work, perserverance, and time. I like the differences between Snape and his materials and the Flaversham guy's demeanor and materials -- it's a nice reminder that money can't always win and be the best, which is refreshing in this day and age. Well done, Pix! :)
~MadiMalfoy x
Author's Response:Hey there!
I was wondering if you'd appreciate all the chemistry references. I think of potions to be very close to muggle chemistry. They've got a lot in common, sans magic. I'm glad you liked the story! I would love to do a Potions-centered fic with you someday. It would be so much fun!
Pix
Hi, pix!
I adore the way you write Snape. We've covered this at length in the past. This story was no exception.
You did a marvelous job of drawing out all of the differences that separate Snape from his well-heeled housemates. He really is an odd fit. Odd fit to Slytherin, odd fit to his friendship with Lily, odd fit as a Death Eater, odd fit as a Hogwarts teacher... he never really fits wherever he goes. At the same time, he aspires to be able to mesh with all of these things. Well, perhaps not the Hogwarts teacher part, but certainly the rest of it. He craves something better in life. Something above his meager childhood in Spinner's End. That's what led him to the Dark Lord's service.
I absolutely love the mockery of Chester the Third. Perfect Snape inner voice!
The double-twist that ended the story was beautifully done. It was great to see His Chesterness brought low and even greater to realize that Snape's "prize" was not at all what he'd imagined.
Great job! I really enjoyed this.
Author's Response:Hey Dan!
Wow. I really haven't been responding to reviews, have I? The shame!
This challenge was so fun to do, because I got to revisit my fixed characterization of Snape, and also do something different with him. Also, Netterheim is SO MUCH FUN! I'm glad I could revisit him as well. Chester was a great foil. And also, he's ridiculous. So there, Chester!
Yeah, the twist. Glad you liked that. Thanks so much for the review!
Pix
Ever the Snape fan, my eyes zeroed right in on this one to review and I definitely was not disappointed. With detailed description and excellent vocabulary, I could really feel Snape's self-satisfaction with himself at Hogwarts yet how desperate he was for this apprenticeship and, of course, the jealously toward his competitor.
Even the sentence structure added to the mood. Using shortened sentences at one point. (He wanted this. He needed this. This was his ticket out of despair and destitution.) It helps the reader understand his desparation.
The arrogance of Flaversham is very description ("looked like he'd be shaking his own hand and patting his own shoulder.") and creates a great mental picture.
I also like how the story has a moral: Work ethic over family wealth to reach your goals and the irony of how Mr. Flaversham lost because of his wealth.
As soon as I finish this review, I'm off to read the sequel!
Author's Response:Hi!
Thanks for giving this fic a chance! I'm glad you liked the desperation and the jealousy. It was the theme for the competition this was written for. And I'm happy that you're interested in the sequel! It's a long one, and full of Snape, so I hope you like it. :)
I loved hearing your thoughts on this piece!
Pix
Hi Pix! Here for Gryffie Review Tag! This is different than anything I've read from you before and I really enjoyed it (just like everything else I've read from you)! I love your characterization of Snape and think you've done well at capturing his feeling of second best. Never gets the girl, never gets the friend, not goint to get the apprenticeship, but then look, he does! He's so surprised that he's the one because he's so sure he's going to be second best again and I think you did a great job at capturing his feelings about that all through this!
I found it to this to be such an interesting take and really thought you covered the jealousy theme well. It was neat to see him go into this thinking he was ready for it all and could see himself in the position to all of that suddenly changing when he starts feeling more jealous and those feelings of second best start coming in more. Really enjoyed this take on Snape!
-Sarah
Author's Response:Ah, yes. You may be saying that quite a bit if you keep reading my stuff. "Different" seems to be the one constant you could use to describe my stuff in general. Haha! I'm glad you enjoyed it. This is a prequel to one of my longer stories that I wrote quite some time ago. I spent a lot of time with Severus Snape inside my head, and believe me, it was a very uncomfortable experience. It paid off for this, though. I was able to just jump on in and revisit him for this one-shot. It was a fun walk down memory lane... maybe not for him... but he never gets a break anyway. lol.
Thanks for your review! It made me smile!
Pix
Hey Pix! It's been far too long! Great to "see" you again!
Well let's take a look at your story now. Right off the bat, this story seesm to really capture the essence of Snape- from his dark and brooding nature to the insecurities, social isolation, unrecognized genius, and crippling self-pity, it's all encapsulated there. When he encounters Chester, you could really just feel the pure resentment.
The apprentic competition was a really interesting idea. We never really see what post-Hogwarts education/training is like and how the students get in on the entry level of certain careers, but this seems like a believable way to do it. You could see a lot of the "Half-blood Prince" in the way that Snape goes about making the potion- knowing all the tricks of the trade beyond just waht's in the book.
And of course he ends up squeezing worms again at the end. Don't all entry level jobs basically go that way? This felt all too real haha
Author's Response:Well, HELLO there stranger!
Yeah, there's a bunch of realism thrown into this magical scenario. Human condition and all. Haha. I think I'm getting beter at these things. I remember your reviews to Until We Close Our Eyes For Good, and that was a wild ride. This piece was a little detour back to that world, but I was only visiting. Don't want to get too lost back there. I think I had to go through author-character therapy after that story. But Netterheim is still one of my favorites, so he was fun to revisit.
The post-Hogwarts education thing always bugged me. I'm not from the U.K., and so I have to concept of how people over there transition to careers and such. It seems like such a large hole, and I love filling holes with ideas, so, BAM. There it is.
It's so good to see you around! I hope you have time to hang out with us again every once in a while!
Thanks for the review!
Pix
Any access or use of the FanficTalk Archive is conditioned upon compliance with our Site Guidelines and Terms of Service and the Copyright Policy and Privacy Policy contained therein. Should you have any questions about them, you are very welcome to contact any of our archive validators. For advanced searching, please click here.
Any characters, source code, text, or titles contained herein which are recognizable as copyrighted material are the sole property of their owners.