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Reviews For That's All

Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 31 Jan 2019 07:50 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 12

Here I am again! :D 

I was a bit sad at the beginning... were Clara and Remus going through a bit of coldness? After the perfection that was their date in the last chapter, I didn't want to see their relationship getting strained... but of course, disagreements and times of difficulty happen and they are both too insecure and stubborn to be immune to it, right? Typical Remus, being overprotective and not wanting the people he cares about to take risks for him... And of course Clara has her faults as well, keeping things (like Adrian) to herself and not admitting that the potion is for herself just as much as it is for his sake... In her defence, she hadn't realized that until Severus pointed it out.

I loved Severus here, by the way. I'm definitely not his biggest fan, but he can be so caring when he wants to and he's such a good friend for Clara. I loved to see him in a more sympathetic light and I loved his reaction to Adrian and the way he's trying to be supportive with Clara, even concerning her relationship with Remus. It's obvious that neither man will ever like the other (and absolutely understandable,  too) but the fact that they are both making an effort for Clara's sake is just so sweet!

I also really loved that you included McGonagall here. Her conversation with Clara was so nice, it felt right for her talking to a former student. I've always loved McGonagall and I think you captured her well here! :)

I'm so glad that Remus and Clara talked it through and managed to clarify things a bit between them. I ship them too hard to see them being cold around each other. And I want more, so you'll have to update soon... just saying...

Wonderful chapter, just as always! Thank you so much for requesting and for writing this delightful story!

Lots of love and snowball hug!

Chiara



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 31 Jan 2019 06:34 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 11

BEX!!!!!!!!!!

Here with the first of your requested reviews! Finally! It only took me a month, after all... that's acceptable... right? *hides in shame*

Aww! I know I say this at every chapter, but... those two are soooo cute! The idea of the date was absolutely adorable, and I can totally imagine Remus organizing something like that. Well, although Clara is right in saying that their relationship is sort of going backwards... a first date when they'd been living under the same roof for months and got so intimate with each other is kind of funny. But it's adorable that he wanted to live with her that first date he didn't got the chance to have back in school days. :)

Everything was perfect, from Clara's indecisiveness about what to wear, to the polaroid, to their conversation over family and NEWTs, to the music festival... and the ending! That was absolutely delightful, and it's absolutely delightful that they are so in tune about where they stand in their relationship. Also, I think it's kind of adorable that in adolescent Remus' plans there was asking her if he could kiss her. He's the best! But we knew that already, right?

I probably should say more, but I want to move to the next chapter now (and anyway, I'm not sure what I could say more except repeating once again how much I adore Remus and Clara and how your story makes me feel all warm and happy...)

Lovely work as usual! See you in a little bit!

Lots of love,

Chiara



Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 28 Jan 2019 05:57 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 4

And the fragile friendship goes to the next level. I can’t believe Remus made the decision to leave because his transformation worried her. Oh wait a moment, yes I can. This is the very insecure Remus Lupin who thrives on self-isolation and self-pity and abhors relying on others.


The arguments of cigarettes is a great way for Remus to show that he cares without having to actually say the words. Plus he’s right, she needs to cut back. Of course, being Remus he wouldn’t really judge another for such actions because he’s so used to be judged himself.

 

In some ways, I don’t blame Severus for refusing to help make the Wolfbane. Here’s a man who sat by and did nothing allowing others to make his teenage years hell and given Severus’s tortured soul, revenge comes to him quite easily. Of course, we all know (including Remus) that he isn’t offering to brew the option for the werewolf’s benefit. Just like during HP’s 3rd year, he brewed it to keep the children safe and this time, he wants to do the same for Clara.



Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 28 Jan 2019 05:22 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 3

“Apparently, you could learn a lot about a person from the way they behaved when sitting on you.” Snort, Snort. If Clara is going to listen to her own advice and not get too close to Remus, perhaps she shouldn’t go sitting on his lap! Seriously, however, what a cute comic relief. I know that little, old lady. I think she was my grandmother (who can talk an ear off a stranger) and, Clara was correct. Short of apparition, there wasn’t much else to do. I wish that we had heard a bit more of the old lady’s conversation, perhaps some accidently interaction which the old lady misunderstands.


Will Clara ever get the chance to ask the Sorting Hat what in the world he was thinking sorting her into Slytherin or are you afraid that she might really take a knife to the old head topper?

 



Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 28 Jan 2019 04:28 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 1

I love the description, Shakespearean Tragedy that was her face. It’s a bit mean, but really creates a mental picture of the trials and turmoils of adolescents. Oh, the trials, poor Clara has. Comparing yourself to Lily Evans is never good advise, but nor is trying to convince Severus Snape not to think of the red head. (By the way, I love the description of Snape: “tortured soul, a wicked sense of humour and a viper tongue.” Love it! Although I think my favorite “is his top five fun things to do, lurking in the shadows”)  Your words are so creative and I just adore the writing!


Still your OC has a logical brain that obviously has a better reality check that Lavender Brown or Pansy’ Parkinson’s giggling ever will and she’s right. Severus Snape really does need to get over Lily Evans.

 



Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 28 Jan 2019 04:09 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Prologue

If your goal was to create more questions than answers in the prologue. Congratulations! I’m intrigued and almost ignored writing a review in favor of jumping into the next chapter.  The first being who is her husband? Which side is he on? (I’m assuming the light but one is never certain of such things.) It’s obvious she’s a very private person which makes Harry Potter, probably one of the more nosey book characters in existence, even more curious. Your portrayal of Potter was spot on from his innate curiosity to his borderline rude questioning, but what really impressed me was how you used Harry’s curiosity to fuel the reader’s own inquisitiveness. Like I said I have a lot of questions now.


I was also shocked when McGonagall said Clara (is she perhaps names after Clara Barton?) had been friends with Severus Snape and Lupin’s wife. First the two didn’t go to Hogwarts together so how did she connect with both? Second, you said Lupin’s wife, not Tonks. Since McGonagall knew that Harry knew Tonks, it make more sense to identify her by her given name, which makes me question is Lupin’s wife is Tonks or someone else.

 

Or perhaps I’m just an overanalyzing Ravenclaw.



Name: MegGonagall (Signed) · Date: 25 Jan 2019 04:47 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Prologue

Bex!! I’m here for the Menagerie! 

 

So I’ve been meaning to read this for a while. And when I saw it fit the requirements for the Porlock, I was thrilled. What an opening! 

 

I think I have just as many questions has Harry does, regarding Clara. Lupin’s wife! Snape’s friend?? How does that work?? I imagine neither one of them could be happy with her choice of friend or husband. I’m really excited to see the conflict there. Oh, if Snape is dead in this fic, that’s going to be super sad for her. *gasp* oh my god, is Lupin going to be dead, too? I’m already worried I won’t be able to handle the heartbreak. This story is going to break me, isn’t it? 

 

Clara is definitely mysterious. Is she still Lupin’s wife? Or was she Lupin’s wife. Like, did he remarry with Tonks, or is she out of the picture entirely in this fic? I know you can’t really answer anything, and I’ll have to read on to find out, but I just have so many questions! 

 

Harry has a little bit of nerve, doesn’t he? Just flat out being like, “I didn’t see you fighting.” Calm down, Harry. She’s healing your butt. Just because someone isn’t fighting, doesn’t mean they’re not still contributing. Gryffindors... hahaha. But then also, where has she been?? I need to know all the things! 

 

Your writing is fantastic, as always. You could very much feel the sadness of all loss from the war, but also the relief that it wad finally over. I liked the description of Harry standing there, appearing confused. Because, I’m sure that’s how most people felt in the direct aftermath of the Final Battle. You’ve spent so long fighting, that I’m sure you’re left feeling like, “Okay... what next?” 

 

I did find it funny that McGonagall finally saw James in Harry, as he was standing there looking so confused hahaha. 

 

I’m glad I had a chance to stop by! Hopefully I’ll be able to review this more for the comp, and if not, I’ll come back to it to read more! Love you!! 



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 25 Jan 2019 02:27 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 6

This was a great, fluffy and positive chapter. There's nothing like a couple of bottles of red for the truth to come out. I can't believe they both liked each other at school, how very convenient that they find themselves in their current living situation. Can you imagine James and Sirius's reactions if he'd started dating Snape's best friend? My word, to be a fly on the wall during that conversation.

 

Anyway, I really enjoyed watching Clara let loose a bit here and laugh more freely. I feel she holds back a lot of her personality - she seems very guarded. I wonder if she's always been that way or something happened during the war years that made her protect her heart so much. She seems to flippantly mention Snape's Death Eater days so I wonder if anything else will come out of that. She would have been around for a fair bit of him transitioning to the dark side, so it'd be interesting to get her thoughts about it.

 

Both her and Remus are being very open about their feelings for each other - though mainly just to the reader  - so I really, really hope they get a move on and admit it soon!

Great chapter! Tasha: For Menagerie and RvG - Team Red xxx

 



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 25 Jan 2019 02:03 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 5

I feel so sorry for Remus, he's easily one of the most interesting characters in the series. The opening section where you put "Remus was a selfish man", I really think that's how he sees himself. It's such a shame. I totally called it - he totally fancies Clara.

 

I really think with her headstrong, stubborn personality, she'd be able to kick his insecurities away, but I can't see either of them actually doing anything about their obvious attraction yet, despite the new flirting. I can't believe his cheeky comment about him wishing he'd woke up while she was changing, and the bed sharing thing - oh the sexual tension! She is such a solitary woman - by choice - and Remus is a very lonely man, though by his condition. I think they'd be good for each other.

 

I can't believe Severus caved - and apologised! As great as this is, I worry that he'll maybe use it against Remus in the future. Still, he seems to really care for Clara, well as much as Severus can care about anyone, so I think this is a rather positive character development.

 

I'm glad Remus is looking for a job as I think once he feels he has a ‘purpose' and something to do, it'll give him a bit of confidence and maybe they might actually get together!

 

Tasha - For Managerie and RvG - Team Red

 



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 22 Jan 2019 09:06 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 4

I'll love this so much! I love the budding friendship between Clara and Remus and that they've become comfortable enough around each other to get a little...snuggly. Well not quite, but it's clear they like each other a little. Clara is quite a closed book really, she doesn't seem to let go much and I hope she relaxes a little more and let's Remus in. I think they could be quite good together.

 

Snape. Oh he's such a miserable sod isn't he? He holds onto a grudge more than any character or real life human I've ever come across, but he cracks me up. Honestly, if he'd let himself enjoy a friendship, he might even cheer up. I always felt so, so uncomfortable that Remus had to rely on Snape to brew Wolfsbane when he was a teacher as I hated Snape lording it over him, and I feel he's going to do the same here if he does get around to teaching Clara how to do it.

 

I'm so concerned about what will happen to him during the next full moon. I've always wondered what he did after his animagus pals weren't around to help him out. It must have been horrendous. I really want to give him a hug, as always! Ha!

 

Tasha xx

For magical menagerie and RvG January - team red



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 18 Jan 2019 09:16 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 2

Tasha here, back for Magical Menagerie and RvG January - Team Red!


Well, well, well, Remus Lupin has turned up in the most dramatic way, landing himself in a Muggle hospital. I felt so sorry for him, he was so lonely and has no one - can I hug him please?! He seemed to open up to Clara pretty quickly about everything, that he was living rough, and that he was a werewolf, which at first I found a little strange, but then Clara noted him being at his rock bottom. It seemed like he thought he had nothing else, so he may as well be honest with her.


I really like Clara as an OC. It is so interesting that she's decided to shun the magical world as she wanted to stay away from the war and live a simpler life. Despite the war ending, she still seems scared of leaving the Muggle world, which is something I've never really read before and I really like it. 
I like how she still stands up for Severus even in that first conversation with Remus. Her loyalty to her old best friend is still there, even though they're not that close any more. Oh and AS IF he just broke into her house! I have a feeling it could get interesting when he finds out she has a new houseguest!


Great chapter! x    



Author's Response:

Hey! 

 

Remus definitely deserves a hug, but at this point he really doesn't want one. He's stuck in his ways, and believes he should be left alone. I think he was desperate and couldn't risk another full moon ending with him going to a muggle hospital. That was why he went with Clara, and she took him in for similar reasons. She's also a lot more caring and understanding than she lets on. She knows that Severus deserves all the criticism he's going to get in this chapter and all future ones, but her loyalties lie with him more than they do with Remus. 

 

Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews! 



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 18 Jan 2019 08:50 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 1

Tasha back again for Magical Menagerie round two and RvG - January Team Red!

 

Well this is interesting! So Clara had a thing for her best pal, Severus, back in school. I really like this take on a Marauders Era as usually girls are in love with one of them and Snape never gets a look in, bless him! Still, Clara notices all his, what most people would class as unattractive qualities, the greasy hair, standoffish personality, scrawny arms...it did make me laugh reading that. But she loves him and doesn't care. I did feel for her when she knew he didn't have any feelings for her whatsoever and he lived and breathed Lily Evans. That must sting.

 

"He'd been doing what he probably listed as one of his top five fun things to do, lurking in the shadows" - made me crack right up! I can imagine this to be completely true as well.

 

Seeing the Marauders behaviour from someone on the outside of the Gryffindors is really interesting, because they really were little bullies a lot of the time. You got the characteristics spot on though, with Remus and Peter pretty much there for the show rather than to pick a fight like James and Sirius always were. Remus's look was very intriguing, I wonder what that was all about - does he have a thing for Clara already?

 

I'm loving this already! X



Author's Response:

It's true, Snape never gets any action in his teenage years - not that he got much in this fic either! Clara's appreciation went unnoticed...although a part of me wonders if he did know and just chose to ignore it. Rude. I really wanted to show that sometimes you don't get what you want...and sometimes what you thought you wanted turns out to be the last thing you needed! I think she looks at Severus and doesn't see the flaws, because she wishes people would do the same for her. 

 

Severus lives and breathes hiding in the shadows! I mean it would have been strange if Clara hadn't noticed, haha! 

 

Personally I'm usually torn between liking the marauders and hating them for their behaviour. Remus is no exception to that rule, like I know that Severus is a terrible person - but to treat him the way they did makes them no better in my eyes. 



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 18 Jan 2019 08:46 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Prologue

Tasha here for Magical Menagerie round two and RvG - January Team Red!

 

Anything Remus Lupin and I'm there, banging the door down and first in the queue, which is why I'm so confused as to why I've not read and reviewed every single word of this! ‘Tis good though as there is loads for me to read.

 

Clara seems an intriguing character, from what I've seen already. Minerva remembered that she had "friends on both sides", but I'm interested to find out whether this started at school or after... if she was friends with Snape, would that make her a Slytherin maybe? And was she pals with Lily? This has set up a great story already! I'm with Harry here too, in that why wouldn't Remus mention having a wife? But then I'm not sure yet just HOW au this will be, so I'm sure I'll find out.

 

I liked what Minerva thought about seeing Harry after he'd been all healed: "However, for just a fraction of a second, she was looking at James Potter, a student unsure of whether he was going to get a well-deserved detention or a slap on the wrist." For some reason I found it a really sweet comparison.

 

I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes - great job! Xxx



Author's Response:

Hey Tasha! 

 

All will be revealed in the next chapter. Clara has a lot of loyalties, and doesn't like to pin herself to one cause. So she's ruled out for fighting in this war...that amongst other reasons. Again, they'll all be explained 100 chapters later! Haha! 

 

Though Minerva's love for the marauders is biased, it was well worth mentioning. Everyone talks about how much Harry looks like his father, and I don't remember McGonagall explicitly saying she thought the same, but I think she would make the comparison if only to herself.

 

Thank you so much for this lovely review!



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2019 06:24 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 12

Helloooo!  Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie - and I'm all caught up, yay!

 

The start of this chapter was quite tense to read, especially after the closeness and fluffiness that we've seen in the last few chapters.  One thing I found really impressive about that is that you had me worried as well as Clara about the state of their relationship, even though realistically I know that the two of them are going to end up married because of the prologue.  So I think that's really good writing - when I'm reading the story I kind of forget that I (vaguely) know the ending and I'm really rooting for these characters.

 

I can understand why the Wolfsbane potion would start to come between them - out of all the things for them to argue about (or just not talk to each other about), I definitely imagine anything related to Remus's lycanthropy as the main cause for issues, at least on his part.  Clara's worries that this just means they've left the honeymoon phase (probably true) and that this is the end for them is really sad, though, and I was so nervous at the start of this chapter that something would go wrong at the end of it for them.

 

McGonagall's cameo was really nice!  It was good to see her and I get the impression that she's retained a certain affection for Clara, which is something given how many students she's taught over the years.  That linked really nicely to how warmly McGonagall speaks of Clara in the prologue, too.

 

Snape... really surprised me in this chapter, to be honest.  I've said before that I'm really not his biggest fan, and the insinuations that he made earlier in the story would have taken far longer to earn my forgiveness than it took Clara, but I felt quite sympathetic towards him here and was impressed at some of the advice that he gave.  It was quite startling that he realised she was the only friend that he really had (more introspective and less selfish than I expected of him, to be honest).  His advice that she should protect herself if anything else happens is actually great advice - she doesn't want to be a victim or want to need rescuing, and her magic has already proven she's strong enough to fight.  Him pointing out that she wasn't just making the potion for Remus was also surprisingly insightful and helpful for the two of them.  In spite of his expected sarcastic comments, he actually took the news of Clara and Remus being together quite well, all things considered.  I only hope that holds up...

 

And I was really pleased that the two of them finally had a proper conversation after skirting around the subject and just avoiding each other, and it led to much better understanding between them - I think now they've managed to face this first hurdle, hopefully they'll be more sensible about some of the others they're sure to encounter!

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

The beginning on this chapter was so difficult to write as well. Sulky Remus was a struggle to bring out, but I suppose there's no such thing as plain sailing! I think it's good to show that there can be bumps in the road and you don't have to give up right away. God only knows what would happen if these two threw in the towel at the first sign of trouble.

 

McGonagall is another character that I really love to write. I haven't put her in a story for ages, so it was tough to get back into the swing of things. She's not important to this fic, but it's nice for Clara to have another friend (if you can call Minerva that) from the magical world. Clara left quite the impression on a lot of teachers - for Minerva it was more because of how she saw Clara as a very capable witch, but a nervous one. One that let her low self esteem get the better of her. One that spent time with a questionable crowd of one Severus Snape. She was very talented, I imagine that Slughorn would have liked to add her to his collection if she had made something of herself.

 

Severus is one of those people who isn't very forgiving himself, and presents himself as an unemotional person. He's only capable of being rude, resentful, angry, indifferent...etc. It's rare to see him smile. I think to have him jump to her defense and try to poison Adrian would have been great...but not in character. He knows that if Remus knows, then he's offering more than enough support. She had to be reminded of her own capabilities, even if it meant going to Azkaban for it. Severus would rather that.

 

Things should be a lot better for Remus and Clara now, they've found a routine of sorts - and they're starting to grow up a bit. Yay! 



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2019 05:58 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 11

Hello again!  Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie :)

 

Well wasn't this chapter ADORABLE???

 

Ah, I really liked the opening of this, and the fact that Clara's not quite sure how she feels about surprises because she's not had many of them.  Severus doesn't seem like the sort of friend to organise surprises at all, and I imagine with Clara's parents being so busy running the pub they wouldn't have much time to do anything like that.  It's sad that Clara's kind of isolated herself from most people around her, though - I know that's one of the things that's drawn her and Remus together, but it's still sad that she has so few friends.  I'm glad that she has Remus there for her now, though.

 

(Speaking of friends, I'm intrigued to see what'll happen when Snape finds out that she and Remus are together, because I can't imagine that his reaction will be particularly pleasant...)

 

Anyway, how cute is this date?  Remus taking her on a first date and basing it around the plan he had for their trip to Hogsmeade back when they were in school is so adorable, and I think it's a great way to make a first date still feel like a first date when they already know each other so well and are living together.

 

Remus's pride when he knew that he'd given Clara valuable information about there being cobbles made me laugh.  He's not wrong - I live in a place full of cobbles and they really do not mix well with heels, something I've seen far too many women learn the hard way.

 

I really liked the way that you used this first date chapter as a way for the two of them to get to know each other better - or at least a bit more about their history - and that it worked in the same way for the readers.  It was really interesting to know that Clara had planned on becoming a Healer if the war had been over by the time she left school.  I wonder if she'll train as a Healer in the future?  

 

Jack's backstory was so fascinating - you know already that I love things like family history so this was really no exception.  I felt sorry for him, but the story felt very realistic - the war changed so many people's lives and it really did affect the relationships between siblings and family members who survived, particularly when the parents had been away from home or the children were evacuated.  It was a nice detail about how he got there - he's not quite as Yorkshire as he makes out, then :P

 

I'd laugh along with Remus if I had any idea how to pronounce Welsh.  I'm generally quite good at picking up languages but Welsh continues to baffle me, in spite of my name xD

 

The detail about her duelling was really cute - although I dread to think what would happen if all angry teenagers started duelling with each other to let out their frustrations.  Merlin help the people cleaning up Hogwarts after that.

 

This was a really cute and fluffy chapter, and I really enjoyed it - these two are adorable!

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

I think Severus' idea of a surprise would have been very self involved and have more to do with his own enjoyment than Clara's. Like, oh come on we're going to pick these super rare ingredients...that I need. Her parents love her dearly, but they were earning money and making a living to support her and help their daughter live life to the fullest. Surprises and presents didn't come very often, but she didn't mind. 

 

I don't see Remus as the kind of person to be all about hearts and flowers, but I think it was important for him to do this for his girlfriend. I see their idea of a date being pizza and wine, or just spontaneous walks. He's not a grand gesture sort of guy, in my opinion at least. I think he's still trying to prove that he wasn't all that bad in his teenage years, and that if they had gotten together in their teens, she might have been impressed. If she hadn't been then, she certainly is now. 

 

It was important for them to try and date like "normal" people, whatever that is. They got to know each other better, they both love hearing about one another. It was a nice break to do this in Hogsmeade rather than in Sparrow Bridge. 

 

Jack's backstory is a sad one, but like you said, it isn't uncommon. He's southern born, but a northerner at heart. His siblings might come into play later on - or at least his sister will given that they live in the same area. 

 

Clara and Severus were definitely the stranger, more outcasted sort of students. I like to think their use of duelling wasn't very common, or at least if it wasn't it might have been supervised by staff. Maybe there was a duelling club! 



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2019 05:21 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 10

Hello, Bex!  Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie :)

 

Well, this chapter was certainly a change of tone from the last chapter, but I think that it worked really well - we needed something lighter and fluffier after the heaviness of the last chapter, and so did Remus and Clara.  This was really cute to read, as they're getting to know each other better and they're just so adorable in these exchanges.  

 

Aw, Clara being disappointed about waking up in bed alone was really sweet.  It has to be because their relationship's still so new, and Clara has so many insecurities, that she doubts that Remus wants to wake up beside her.  (That girl really needs a hug and to be told she's wonderful, but at least Remus seems to be doing a good job of making that point fairly clear.)  But of course Remus is trying to surprise her with breakfast in bed, even if they got slightly distracted and the first pancake definitely suffered for it.

 

I love that Remus has a secret stash of chocolate in his bedroom, and the nod to canon there.  I can imagine that becoming a sort of game between them at some point, with Clara trying to find out where on earth it is :P

 

The two of them were really cute here.  There was something really youthful about their relationship and I think that's probably from their inexperience, but it's really sweet to read about them.  I felt quite sorry for Remus in the way that he's so hesitant about everything, not wanting to pressure her into anything (that's a valid concern generally, though I don't think he needs to worry about it here) and then the added insecurities about not being good enough for her and not wanting to hurt her.  I hadn't even thought about the fact that his transformation coming up might affect things.

 

I loved Clara's confidence in this chapter, though.  She's been so insecure and I know she still has those insecurities, but she's found someone she trusts enough to push past them with Remus and that's so important, and I'm really happy to see that - it's nice to see her being more forward and trying to assert herself more.  I can definitely understand why she wouldn't want to be seen as a fragile woman, especially after what she revealed to him last night - she doesn't want to be branded a victim or think of herself in that way, and I think that's true for a lot of survivors of sexual assault.

 

My favourite thing about this chapter was probably the way that you balanced the fluffiness with humour - it felt very well balanced overall and you have a talent for comedy, injecting it in the conversations at exactly the right moments, and that made it really fun to read.

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

Hey Sian! 

 

I was getting so bogged down in all of that angst, it was nice to have a fluffy, funny chapter that didn't really have much relevance to the fic itself but just explored this new relationship between them both. Remus really wants to impress Clara and treat her like the queen he believes that she is. It's appreciated, but she doesn't really need that. She interprets things like that as treating her with extra care, and makes her feel less of a person. Or at least, it does at the minute. That will change eventually. 

 

At first I thought that his transformation might just affect him the same way every month, but I've decided to change that up a bit. Instead it varies - because I mean it's a bit like a female cycle. Some months you power through with the help of exercise, sometimes you get mood swings, sometimes you're bogged down in one particular emotion, sometimes you have lots of energy...or none at all. 

 

Thank you! I really want to write more comedy, especially in the form of plays and sitcoms - so it really means a lot that you like what I've been trying out so far. 



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2019 01:00 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 9

Hi!  Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie.

 

Well, this chapter certainly took another turn that I wasn't expecting - something you've been doing since the beginning of the story, so I should really be expecting the surprises by now, shouldn't I? :P  But this one was much heavier and difficult to deal with than some of what's happened in previous chapters, so I was quite impressed with how you dealt with it.

 

The opening was really sweet, with Clara missing having Remus around when he's at work, and choosing to go and visit him.  I think that really captures the feeling of a new relationship when you just want to be with someone constantly.  Although it certainly makes seeing your boyfriend just a little more awkward having to have your parents around if you visit him at work.  Thank goodness Rosemary took the hint and left them to their own devices for a while.

 

Remus and Clara flirting and talking to each other is just so sweet - and I think the banter early on in this chapter made a really effective contrast with what happened later on.

 

As soon as Adrian appeared and Clara reacted so strongly to him, I suspected that something bad had happened between them - I just wasn't sure what it was.  The fact that he's so casual about it and acts like nothing at all has happened makes me so angry, but it's really believable because unfortunately this sort of thing happens to women (and men) all the time and the people committing the assault often get away with it.

 

It was so important that she was able to open up to Remus about it.  I think that marks how much she trusts him and is a real contrast between Remus and Adrian, especially the fact that Remus immediately called what had happened an assault and didn't hesitate to condemn Adrian for it.

 

As difficult as the story was to read, and as sorry as I am for Clara, I think she's so brave.  You wrote this so well - she's been dealing with this for a whole year without confiding in anyone, and she was the one who managed to throw him off (thank goodness for her magic, since in the real world people don't get that chance).  She's kind of her own saviour, in a way.  And as much as I'm intrigued to find out what might happen if Remus sees Adrian again, or her parents find out, I really admire Clara.

 

The two of them are becoming so close in this chapter and I'm really enjoying reading that, the way that this relationship is based on trust and consideration of the other person is so important, and I'm looking forward to seeing you develop that.

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

Welcome to a fic by bex, little plot, lots of dialogue - and more twists and turns than you could ever want or need! Their relationship is still pretty fresh, and Clara is used to having him around a lot. So when Remus isn't there, she misses him, but feels silly and immature for thinking like that. It's all new, and both of them just want to be around each other all the time. It's sweet really. 

 

Ugh Adrian. I couldn't think of a name for him for the longest time, in the fic I'd just had him titled as several expletives - thankfully I didn't leave any in the chapter! I mean, the fact that Remus could call him a monster even when Clara reminded him that he had called himself that once upon a time shows real growth. Or at least it does in my opinion. Remus knows he isn't the terrible person he makes himself out to be, and though he's not completely sure that he deserves Clara...he knows for certain that Adrian never did. 

 

One thing that I'm going to make sure with this Adrian sub plot, is that Clara is her own saviour. A lot of women have to deal with assault by themselves, or they try to, and I think for Clara to do that too sort of shows how strong SA survivors are. 



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2019 12:40 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 8

Hello!  Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie.

 

Yay, THEY KISSED!  WOOOO!!

 

Ahem.

 

Ah, I'm so glad that Rosemary's words stuck with Clara and she didn't just let herself brush them off and talk herself out of being honest with Remus.  I think it really shows how close a relationship she and her mum have that she's happy to take that advice, and I think it's great advice to give - life's too short to waste opportunities.  Just maybe more difficult advice to follow.

 

I loved all of Clara's attempts and mini plans to try and talk to Remus about her feelings and be honest with him.  They really made me laugh.  Honestly, imagine getting Ringo to deliver a note to someone who lived in the same flat, just to talk about feelings.  I loved the Slytherin element to her character though, the determination not to give up.  We didn't see much of her in school and I know that she didn't really fit in, but you're doing a great job of bringing out the elements of her character that do fit well in Slytherin.

 

The description of the walk was so pretty!  I could imagine it all so vividly, the summer's day and the walk in one of the pretty little villages in Yorkshire (yes, I'll even concede that :P).  And FINALLY!

 

I'm going to call this one a joint effort, because Clara stuck to her resolution to be honest with Remus by saying that she'd go with him, and Remus was the first one to kiss her.  Well done, you two!  I was so excited that they finally kissed and they're getting somewhere with this - and that Clara was so determined to show Remus that she wasn't disgusted by him kissing her.  Ugh, these two are adorable.

 

Tea is one of the most British ways ever to start a conversation like this.  Love it.

 

I'm actually really glad that they sat down and had a conversation about their feelings, though, because I think if they'd jumped into something straight away there'd be a lot bottled up beneath the surface that they were afraid to say.  I'm excited that they're going to give this a try and I'm hopeful that this start means that they'll be able to be more honest with each other as the relationship progresses.

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

I think if she hadn't taken her mother's advice...we'd be here forever. Clara isn't the most forward person or knowledgeable when it comes to romance. She tried bless her, but in the end it was her and Remus' combined efforts that brought them together. 

 

That walk really captures what I like about our little corner of the world. I'm not big on winter, but I think that in the summer the countryside can be really beautiful. 

 

The two of them definitely need to work through the idea of a relationship together. Neither really knows what they're doing and if they just acted on feelings then it wouldn't last very long. They need to talk about everything, their emotions, what they want - and get over their low self esteem. Both of them. Nothing really needs to change, they're still friends, they still live together - now they're living more truthfully - and there's romance in the mix. Eventually it will be a lot easier for them to be honest with each other, but for that to happen a couple of bumps in the road have to happen first.



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2019 12:19 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 7

Hi Bex!  Back again for RvG and the Magical Menagerie :)

 

Ah, the opening of this chapter was so much fun to read - I really enjoyed the insight that we got into Remus's background and the snatches of childhood memories that he has from before he was bitten (it's so heartbreaking to think how much of a normal life was robbed from him by Greyback when he hadn't done anything wrong) - and then the thoughts he had about Clara.  The two of them are so cute and they definitely both like each other (I mean, they're going to end up married so I would hope they do) but it was really fun to read his thoughts when he was trying and failing not to stare at Clara, especially with the transition from the winter to summer wardrobe.

 

You capture the dynamics between the two of them so well here.  There's just the right amount of flirtiness and tension lying beneath their easy friendship, and I'm so intrigued to see how you keep developing it.

 

Ah, I love that we got to meet Clara's parents in this chapter!  I think all too often we don't tend to see the parents of a character who's an adult and especially if the character's Muggle-born, since it seems to be easier to kind of ignore the Muggle world.  But I really love the fact that Clara's parents are so important to her and her roots mean so much, as well.  Jack and Rosemary both seem brilliant!

 

I felt so sorry for Remus in certain parts of this chapter - early on, when he's trying to dissuade himself from trying to go any further with Clara because he doesn't want to "inflict" himself on her and her family, with his curse.  And then again later, when he's explaining his lycanthropy to Jack and Rosemary.  You captured his character really well there and I thought you conveyed his sense of shame and regret at that point.  It was so brave of him to be honest with her parents on the first time they'd met, too.

 

And then Jack offering him some shifts at the pub <3 Clara's parents seem so warm-hearted and genuine, and it was so sweet of them to do that despite the fact that Remus has lycanthropy.  I think they can both see how much he means to Clara and trust her judgement of his character.

 

(It was really interesting to see that they kind of seem to feel that she's wasted by staying in the area rather than going off and exploring new places and doing new things - I wonder what prompted them to think that in the first place.)

 

That chat with Rosemary at the end was brilliant - I'm excited to see whether Clara decides to act on it sooner rather than later!

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

It is my biggest headcanon that Remus tells everyone he hates summer because of the heat, but he's grateful because having to transform in the winter when it's so cold and bitter - isn't that fun. I mean at one point he lived in a tent, he probably had to endure some awful weather when he was living rough. He might have enjoyed snow as a child because things were easier then. Now with Clara and the Wolfsbane, he has a new found appreciation for summer.

 

I have a lot of background information on Clara's parents that I want to share with everyone, more family members that I'd love to introduce...but I'm not sure how relevant they'd be to the story. Jack and Rosemary are very sweet people, and I think in this era - the sense of community was so strong. The pub brought a lot of people together, so the landlords would have been known throughout the town. They're a well respected couple, so whether she likes it or not, Clara's well known by other residents too. 

 

Rosemary is pretty observant and wise, she's definitely a slytherpuff - like Clara! To the point, but still caring. 



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 11:30 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 6

Hello!  Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie.

 

SO MUCH CLARA AND REMUS IN THIS CHAPTER.  WOOOOO!!!

 

I really like the way that Remus and Clara have grown so close - how two people who've been used to being on their own for so long would easily get used to the companionship of another person being around.  It's lovely to see how easily they get on and how effortless their conversation and spending time together comes, to the point that Clara even misses him when he's not here.

 

And I love that Remus has got a job in a library - that's so perfect for him!  I feel like seasonal Muggle work would probably be a way forward for people who are dealing with lycanthropy, because nobody in the Muggle world would suspect such a thing.  His failure to understand the decimalised currency made me laugh, too - it's quite funny to think that the witches and wizards who had a vague grip on the Muggle world in that way would find that a real stumbling block.

 

It was really sweet seeing Clara manage to make Remus open up a bit more about his friends.  She didn't try and force him to speak about them and he obviously feels comfortable enough at this point to talk about them - at least about the people they were when they were in school together and they were young and carefree.  Laughing about those pranks that they pulled seemed like the best way to start dealing with the loss, though I might have thought he'd have mentioned Peter a little more, too - even just something surprising about how he'd been the one to think of such-and-such a prank, maybe (though I'm not a big fan of Peter, so I'm not great at suggesting that sort of thing).

 

The drunk conversation brought out SO MUCH INFORMATION!  Remus having had a crush on Clara when they were at school gave me so many feelings and it was so sweet to see him all embarrassed talking about it - no wonder he gave her such an intense look when he saw her kissing Snape.  But I loved the story about the way she comforted the Muggle-born, as well, and all that we're learning about her character here.  I'm so intrigued to see more!

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

I think it's just natural development. It probably would have been a lot harder for them both to live together and try to lead two seperate lives, especially given that they only see each other. Clara doesn't really connect with anyone at the hospital and Remus is a bit out of place in the library. It's a good job for him, but I think he feels unfulfilled. Although, I know that a lot of libraries do these storytime sessions for young children - and my heart melts at the idea of a young Remus Lupin reading children's books.

 

A lot of normal people struggled with the new decimal system when it came out, so I'm told. My nan once told me she sometimes forgets and tries to count money like that. It's crazy. Remust definitely doesn't have any sort of grip on muggle society anymore, thank god Clara's around to help him through it.

 

Honestly, I need to try harder with Peter. It's so difficult to write him, I just can't get into his head. I'm going to try and write him in somehow, and make sure people know that Remus is thinking about him...not that she should. Traitor!

 



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 11:00 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 5

Hello!  Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie.

 

Ah, I'm so, so glad that they got through the first full moon okay!  I was really worried about how they were going to manage it, but I should have known that between the two of them, both intelligent people (I'm still so impressed that Remus can do wandless magic, by the way!) they would find a way to make it as safe as possible.  After all, Remus has survived up until this point.  But I thought the idea of putting the wards on the area of the forest that he was in and making sure people didn't go there so that they weren't in danger from him was a really clever move!

 

Remus's panic when he didn't know what had happened to Clara!  His feelings were definitely becoming more obvious in the opening scene, and then of course he actually acts on them - I loved the moment when he heard his friends talking to him and encouraging him on.  Remus tends to be so self-deprecating (a trait he shares with Clara) but I can definitely imagine James and Sirius cheering him on when he gets all flirty with Clara.

 

I kind of skipped a big bit of the chapter there :P  But anyway, Snape has agreed to make the Wolfsbane potion for Remus!  Yay!  It was very surprising to see that he'd agreed but it makes a lot of sense - the tensions between them are so evident but they also fit the characters we know.  I hadn't thought before that the pair might have seen each other in between school and the time when Remus started teaching at Hogwarts, but I'm so intrigued to see how you're going to fill that gap and trace their interactions.

 

But yes, the Wolfsbane is going to make such a difference to Remus and I can see how happy it made him - and Clara.  It'll make such a difference to both of them.  And the moment at the end was a lot of tension and unusual boldness - I was quite surprised by it but I'm intrigued to see what you're yet to reveal about the two of them!

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

They pulled through, just about! Remus is such a skilled wizard, I mean I read over his pottermore and wikia pages and they said he can do wandless and non verbal - which to me is pretty impressive. I keep meaning to write a scene where he teaches Clara some important bits of magic, but I always end up forgetting. 

 

The two of them are definitely very alike, neither party thinks they deserve much - but seems to be under the impression that the other deserves the world. It's cute, bless their ridiculous hearts. 

 

I think if Snape hadn't agreed to help Clara, she might have forgiven him eventually - although things wouldn't be the same. I'm actually really excited to write the year that Remus starts teaching, if only for all the interactions between Snape, Remus, and Clara. It's going to be hilarious. Before then, Remus and Snape probably won't meet much, if only for their shared love for Clara. 



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 10:19 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 4

Hello!  Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie :)

 

Ah, I really enjoyed this chapter - the way that you tracked the two of them over time and we saw them slowly becoming more comfortable with each other.  I like your characterisation of both of them - Clara is a really awesome original character and I think you've captured some of Remus's characteristics really well in this.  Especially how astute and observant he is, and the way that he finds the right thing to say to try and lighten the mood.

 

I also loved all the northern references and culture that you weaved into the story here - Ringo, and the VHS, the past Prime Minister (the current one - shudder) and of course the toasted teacakes.  I kind of want one of them, now.

 

One thing you might want to do is take a quick look at the formatting in this chapter - I'm not sure why but there's a symbol that's appearing instead of a certain character (possibly a hyphen but I'm not sure) and it just disrupts the appearance of the chapter a little.

 

I think you managed to capture the apprehension of the full moon really well in this chapter.  We all know that Remus had a difficult existence after the first war was over and struggled to get work, but I think you emphasised how much of his existence is month to month - and not just on what he can afford to live, but rather the fact that he doesn't know what will happen and where he'll go for the full moon.

 

Now that he's living with Clara, I can understand her stress over finding out what to do at the next full moon, too, and I think it's really good of her to try and find out about the Wolfsbane potion and even see if Snape can teach her how to brew it.  Clara just seems to have such a big heart and tries to help people.

 

I really don't like Snape.  I've never been a big fan, but I have to say that here he doesn't do himself any favours.  I can understand that she was asking a lot of him because he was bullied by Remus's friends (and Remus did nothing to stop it) but equally, he treated Clara in a way that she didn't deserve.  I kind of struggle to see why they're friends when he asks so childishly, so it won't surprise you that I cheered her on when she stormed out and left (loved Edie too, by the way).

 

I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next and how they manage the first full moon, especially if they can't get hold of any Wolfsbane potion to make his transformation more manageable.

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

Hey Sian! 

 

I recently just read over some old chapters....and I have absolutely no idea what's going on with that symbol. I'll fix it as soon as I can! I don't have microsoft word anymore - and all my old chapters are on word docs so I have no idea how I'm going to fix it...I'll sort something out though. Thanks for letting me know. 

 

I'm not sure how northern this fic is going to get, but I had to put a few references in somewhere! In future chapters I'm worried it got a bit too reference-y, so I might purge a few later on. Not every character is a rich high flyer from London. I'm trying, and probably failing, to represent the northern working class, haha!! Although, I actually hate toasted currant teacakes. Bread shouldn't have fruit in it. 

 

Clara does have the biggest heart...not that she'll admit it to anyone. If she hadn't been sorted into Slytherin I'm absolutely certain that Hufflepuff was the next best house. She's incredibly loyal and caring - but then if she had been placed there...this story would have been totally different. 

 

It seems to be a common theme with people who review this fic, Snape isn't their favourite at all. I can completely understand that, I don't really like book Snape that much. He's absolutely dreadful...but he's so fun to write! In every fic I write, he always turns up somewhere. I don't want to write him in a way that's OOC, he's Clara's friend...but he's still terrible. Finding a balance between the two has been interesting to say the least. 

 

We all know an Edie! There's probably going to be a lot of minor characters that are 60+ just saying what they think in this fic. It really breaks it up inbetween all the talk of werewolves and magic, haha!



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 09:51 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 3

Hello!  Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie!

 

Ahhh this chapter is already giving me feelings and I barely know the characters yet, this is wonderful!  Please don't put me through too much heartbreak reading their story?

 

The escape plan worked well, but I loved the scene with the bus journey.  The descriptions of the woman who came and likes to talk to the people she sits next to felt very believable and authentic - I have definitely seen people like that on public transport and had the awkward moments of trying to avoid them, so it made me laugh to read the way that Clara managed to rescue Remus from being left alone to deal with the situation.  

 

Maybe it's slightly cliché, but I loved seeing her sitting on his knee and the initial awkwardness of the situation turning into something that became more comfortable - especially than she'd have first anticipated.  We also got an interesting insight into Clara's history here, too, in that she's not voluntarily been this close to a man before - I suspect that both her and Remus will be relatively lacking in the romantic history department, but I'm sure they'll make it through.

 

I loved the details about her family, as well, and the way she didn't question taking Remus in until she could help him get back on his feet.  It shouldn't surprise me given how caring a person she obviously is, but it's really great to see.  And haha - that last line feels like famous last words to me, Clara!

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

This was written around the time when my car had broken down and I was getting a lot of public transport. I actually don't mind the conversation with people on public transport ....though it isn't as common these days. Blame technology, I suppose. 

 

I accept all the cliche love, this was just so mean of me to do to them (Especially Clara.) but it was really fun to write. I think I wrote 2k+ just descibing a bus journey? How the heck did that happen? Yes, so while it's unspoken that Remus probably has a little bit more experience than Clara - the two of them don't have much romantic history. I think as well, she's probably been in closer proximity to people like Severus Snape...but she doesn't really look at him the same way she does as Remus. Severus is automatically ruled out of any romantic prospects, whereas Remus...well he just hasn't been ruled in yet ;)



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 09:26 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 2

Hi Bex!  Back for RvG and the Magical Menagerie again :)

 

Ooh, I wasn't expecting you to skip forward so far in this chapter - this is yet another time that you've surprised me with this story and we're only three chapters in.  That has to be a good sign, right?

 

So I was kind of expecting to see Clara and Remus growing closer - maybe as friends, at least - while they were both still at Hogwarts, and a relationship starting from there.  This is going to be a very different relationship and I'm actually really pleased to see it, because a lot of people meet their spouse after school, rather than during it, and it's refreshing to read stories which reflects that.  And obviously the First Wizarding War is now over, so that won't be happening around them, but the effects of it are still going to be felt.

 

I found Clara's back story really interesting, especially her decision to remove herself from the magical world.  I can definitely understand that, with a war going on that condemns her just for her blood status - had she become a Healer, she might have made herself more of a target to the Death Eaters, but as a nurse she can still help people who need it.  The conflict between magical and Muggle healing was interesting to see her mention, too.

 

(Just a tiny "historical" point - I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure that nursing only became a degree subject in the last decade, and the training beforehand took place in hospitals and specific places to study.)

 

And Remus turns up in the bed!  I'm really glad that Clara was the one to go and see to him, not just for the reasons that she said - what a way to bring them together!  I really feel sorry for him here, and the fact that he's living in a tent in the woods is just heartbreaking.  I'm intrigued to see what Clara's escape plan is and how they're going to get together from here - and so relieved she was so accepting of him!

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

Actually one thing I never wanted was for them to interact at school. It was one thing I didn't like about the HP series. So much of life seemed to revolve around school, grades, career, relationships and I think it's important for people to know that isn't true. I think as well it was important because Clara has this clear opinion of Remus as a marauder, friend of the bullies and pranksters. It gives them more of a journey, I think, given that we know they're married in the end. 

 

So, about the nursing thing! This was something that had me confused for ages. I was trying to find the point when nursing became a university degree and stopped being trained in hospitals but I couldn't find it. I read a few things on wikipedia about it being a degree since the seventues that I was sceptic about (given the only knowledge I have on nursing in the mid 20th century is based on the carry on films ahahahah!) , it was the 80s - the era of open university and new degrees. I just winged it and hoped for the best. Maybe I'll just put it down to it being an AU fic, haha! 

 

I nearly made him live in a broken down cottage in yorkshire, because I think that's where Dumbledore said he found him...but that's not nearly as tragic! I'm so terrible to them. 



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 03:39 PM · [Report This]
Story:That's All Chapter: Chapter 1

Hi again!  Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie :)

 

I have to admit, this was a really unexpected start to the story (after the prologue, of course) - I knew that Clara was friends with Severus Snape but I wasn't expecting the chapter to open with the fact that she was in love with him.  It definitely made me ask all sorts of questions about how she got from that point to becoming Remus's wife, and made me really want to read on.

 

You gave us such a clear picture of Clara in this chapter, though, and I really felt for her - her insecurities over her appearance felt very familiar and easy to relate to, and I could definitely understand the jealousy that she felt for Lily Evans.  I'm intrigued to see if her feelings towards her will change at all through the course of this story, since being Remus's wife is no guarantee that she'll like his friend(s).

 

I thought you did a great job of marking out the characters and timeframe in this story (like the details that Snape is two years older than Clara) quite subtly.  The background that you included about how they became friends was also really interesting.  From what we know of Clara in the first chapter, being a Healer and helping others, I'm really curious to see more of her here.  The fact that she's a Muggleborn and has ended up in Slytherin, especially in this period, sounds like a really, really difficult situation, and though I don't like the way that Snape went about it, I'm glad she had a friend.  Snape made her aware very early on of the currency that works for the Slytherin common room, I think.

 

And the kiss was so awkward - I thought you built up to it really well, and there was so much anticipation and hope around it, and then not only did Clara realise that she didn't want to be kissing the person she was kissing, but they were interrupted by the Marauders.  I think that solved the crush quite quickly!  It was really interesting to see the Marauders from Clara's point of view, too, but I loved seeing her stand up to them - and to Snape (the lashing out against people when he feels awkward or embarrassed is a theme, I see) - and that look that she shared with Remus!

 

I'm so intrigued about what will happen next, and where Clara will go from with this.  The fact that she clearly has conflicting loyalties when we see her in the prologue makes a lot of sense, but I get the impression that she can't cut ties as easily as Lily can on the basis of her blood status, since she really doesn't seem to have anyone else.

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

This part of the plot was definitely a surprise to me as well....but it seemed to work. I like writing relationships that aren't successful, feelings that never come to fruition or just anything that isn't a normal relationship. Severus is pretty oblivious to such things, especially given that his obsession with Lily is well underway. Speaking of Lily - a lot of people have picked up on Clara's obvious dislike for her and I think it's great. For me, Lily is the mary sue. I love it when people write her as this imperfect person - because all I heard in the books and films is how brilliant she is. The worst part of Clara's dislike and jealousy is that Lily really is a good person, had their circumstances been different they might have been good friends. 

 

That was probably the most awkward interaction I've ever written. There was so much pressure on Clara for that kiss to be something and then when it wasn't ugh god...how cringey. I think she was quietly thankful for their interruption. Even if it was James and Sirius. 

 

I think given that Clara is everything Lily isn't, or at least that's what she thinks, it would be difficult for her to cut ties. She feels some sort of obligation, and not only that, but if she cuts them out - who else is there? 

 

Thank you so much for this brilliant review!



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