Helloooo! Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie - and I'm all caught up, yay!
The start of this chapter was quite tense to read, especially after the closeness and fluffiness that we've seen in the last few chapters. One thing I found really impressive about that is that you had me worried as well as Clara about the state of their relationship, even though realistically I know that the two of them are going to end up married because of the prologue. So I think that's really good writing - when I'm reading the story I kind of forget that I (vaguely) know the ending and I'm really rooting for these characters.
I can understand why the Wolfsbane potion would start to come between them - out of all the things for them to argue about (or just not talk to each other about), I definitely imagine anything related to Remus's lycanthropy as the main cause for issues, at least on his part. Clara's worries that this just means they've left the honeymoon phase (probably true) and that this is the end for them is really sad, though, and I was so nervous at the start of this chapter that something would go wrong at the end of it for them.
McGonagall's cameo was really nice! It was good to see her and I get the impression that she's retained a certain affection for Clara, which is something given how many students she's taught over the years. That linked really nicely to how warmly McGonagall speaks of Clara in the prologue, too.
Snape... really surprised me in this chapter, to be honest. I've said before that I'm really not his biggest fan, and the insinuations that he made earlier in the story would have taken far longer to earn my forgiveness than it took Clara, but I felt quite sympathetic towards him here and was impressed at some of the advice that he gave. It was quite startling that he realised she was the only friend that he really had (more introspective and less selfish than I expected of him, to be honest). His advice that she should protect herself if anything else happens is actually great advice - she doesn't want to be a victim or want to need rescuing, and her magic has already proven she's strong enough to fight. Him pointing out that she wasn't just making the potion for Remus was also surprisingly insightful and helpful for the two of them. In spite of his expected sarcastic comments, he actually took the news of Clara and Remus being together quite well, all things considered. I only hope that holds up...
And I was really pleased that the two of them finally had a proper conversation after skirting around the subject and just avoiding each other, and it led to much better understanding between them - I think now they've managed to face this first hurdle, hopefully they'll be more sensible about some of the others they're sure to encounter!
Hello again! Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie :)
Well wasn't this chapter ADORABLE???
Ah, I really liked the opening of this, and the fact that Clara's not quite sure how she feels about surprises because she's not had many of them. Severus doesn't seem like the sort of friend to organise surprises at all, and I imagine with Clara's parents being so busy running the pub they wouldn't have much time to do anything like that. It's sad that Clara's kind of isolated herself from most people around her, though - I know that's one of the things that's drawn her and Remus together, but it's still sad that she has so few friends. I'm glad that she has Remus there for her now, though.
(Speaking of friends, I'm intrigued to see what'll happen when Snape finds out that she and Remus are together, because I can't imagine that his reaction will be particularly pleasant...)
Anyway, how cute is this date? Remus taking her on a first date and basing it around the plan he had for their trip to Hogsmeade back when they were in school is so adorable, and I think it's a great way to make a first date still feel like a first date when they already know each other so well and are living together.
Remus's pride when he knew that he'd given Clara valuable information about there being cobbles made me laugh. He's not wrong - I live in a place full of cobbles and they really do not mix well with heels, something I've seen far too many women learn the hard way.
I really liked the way that you used this first date chapter as a way for the two of them to get to know each other better - or at least a bit more about their history - and that it worked in the same way for the readers. It was really interesting to know that Clara had planned on becoming a Healer if the war had been over by the time she left school. I wonder if she'll train as a Healer in the future?
Jack's backstory was so fascinating - you know already that I love things like family history so this was really no exception. I felt sorry for him, but the story felt very realistic - the war changed so many people's lives and it really did affect the relationships between siblings and family members who survived, particularly when the parents had been away from home or the children were evacuated. It was a nice detail about how he got there - he's not quite as Yorkshire as he makes out, then :P
I'd laugh along with Remus if I had any idea how to pronounce Welsh. I'm generally quite good at picking up languages but Welsh continues to baffle me, in spite of my name xD
The detail about her duelling was really cute - although I dread to think what would happen if all angry teenagers started duelling with each other to let out their frustrations. Merlin help the people cleaning up Hogwarts after that.
This was a really cute and fluffy chapter, and I really enjoyed it - these two are adorable!
Hello, Bex! Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie :)
Well, this chapter was certainly a change of tone from the last chapter, but I think that it worked really well - we needed something lighter and fluffier after the heaviness of the last chapter, and so did Remus and Clara. This was really cute to read, as they're getting to know each other better and they're just so adorable in these exchanges.
Aw, Clara being disappointed about waking up in bed alone was really sweet. It has to be because their relationship's still so new, and Clara has so many insecurities, that she doubts that Remus wants to wake up beside her. (That girl really needs a hug and to be told she's wonderful, but at least Remus seems to be doing a good job of making that point fairly clear.) But of course Remus is trying to surprise her with breakfast in bed, even if they got slightly distracted and the first pancake definitely suffered for it.
I love that Remus has a secret stash of chocolate in his bedroom, and the nod to canon there. I can imagine that becoming a sort of game between them at some point, with Clara trying to find out where on earth it is :P
The two of them were really cute here. There was something really youthful about their relationship and I think that's probably from their inexperience, but it's really sweet to read about them. I felt quite sorry for Remus in the way that he's so hesitant about everything, not wanting to pressure her into anything (that's a valid concern generally, though I don't think he needs to worry about it here) and then the added insecurities about not being good enough for her and not wanting to hurt her. I hadn't even thought about the fact that his transformation coming up might affect things.
I loved Clara's confidence in this chapter, though. She's been so insecure and I know she still has those insecurities, but she's found someone she trusts enough to push past them with Remus and that's so important, and I'm really happy to see that - it's nice to see her being more forward and trying to assert herself more. I can definitely understand why she wouldn't want to be seen as a fragile woman, especially after what she revealed to him last night - she doesn't want to be branded a victim or think of herself in that way, and I think that's true for a lot of survivors of sexual assault.
My favourite thing about this chapter was probably the way that you balanced the fluffiness with humour - it felt very well balanced overall and you have a talent for comedy, injecting it in the conversations at exactly the right moments, and that made it really fun to read.
Hi! Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie.
Well, this chapter certainly took another turn that I wasn't expecting - something you've been doing since the beginning of the story, so I should really be expecting the surprises by now, shouldn't I? :P But this one was much heavier and difficult to deal with than some of what's happened in previous chapters, so I was quite impressed with how you dealt with it.
The opening was really sweet, with Clara missing having Remus around when he's at work, and choosing to go and visit him. I think that really captures the feeling of a new relationship when you just want to be with someone constantly. Although it certainly makes seeing your boyfriend just a little more awkward having to have your parents around if you visit him at work. Thank goodness Rosemary took the hint and left them to their own devices for a while.
Remus and Clara flirting and talking to each other is just so sweet - and I think the banter early on in this chapter made a really effective contrast with what happened later on.
As soon as Adrian appeared and Clara reacted so strongly to him, I suspected that something bad had happened between them - I just wasn't sure what it was. The fact that he's so casual about it and acts like nothing at all has happened makes me so angry, but it's really believable because unfortunately this sort of thing happens to women (and men) all the time and the people committing the assault often get away with it.
It was so important that she was able to open up to Remus about it. I think that marks how much she trusts him and is a real contrast between Remus and Adrian, especially the fact that Remus immediately called what had happened an assault and didn't hesitate to condemn Adrian for it.
As difficult as the story was to read, and as sorry as I am for Clara, I think she's so brave. You wrote this so well - she's been dealing with this for a whole year without confiding in anyone, and she was the one who managed to throw him off (thank goodness for her magic, since in the real world people don't get that chance). She's kind of her own saviour, in a way. And as much as I'm intrigued to find out what might happen if Remus sees Adrian again, or her parents find out, I really admire Clara.
The two of them are becoming so close in this chapter and I'm really enjoying reading that, the way that this relationship is based on trust and consideration of the other person is so important, and I'm looking forward to seeing you develop that.
Hello! Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie.
Yay, THEY KISSED! WOOOO!!
Ah, I'm so glad that Rosemary's words stuck with Clara and she didn't just let herself brush them off and talk herself out of being honest with Remus. I think it really shows how close a relationship she and her mum have that she's happy to take that advice, and I think it's great advice to give - life's too short to waste opportunities. Just maybe more difficult advice to follow.
I loved all of Clara's attempts and mini plans to try and talk to Remus about her feelings and be honest with him. They really made me laugh. Honestly, imagine getting Ringo to deliver a note to someone who lived in the same flat, just to talk about feelings. I loved the Slytherin element to her character though, the determination not to give up. We didn't see much of her in school and I know that she didn't really fit in, but you're doing a great job of bringing out the elements of her character that do fit well in Slytherin.
The description of the walk was so pretty! I could imagine it all so vividly, the summer's day and the walk in one of the pretty little villages in Yorkshire (yes, I'll even concede that :P). And FINALLY!
I'm going to call this one a joint effort, because Clara stuck to her resolution to be honest with Remus by saying that she'd go with him, and Remus was the first one to kiss her. Well done, you two! I was so excited that they finally kissed and they're getting somewhere with this - and that Clara was so determined to show Remus that she wasn't disgusted by him kissing her. Ugh, these two are adorable.
Tea is one of the most British ways ever to start a conversation like this. Love it.
I'm actually really glad that they sat down and had a conversation about their feelings, though, because I think if they'd jumped into something straight away there'd be a lot bottled up beneath the surface that they were afraid to say. I'm excited that they're going to give this a try and I'm hopeful that this start means that they'll be able to be more honest with each other as the relationship progresses.
Hi Bex! Back again for RvG and the Magical Menagerie :)
Ah, the opening of this chapter was so much fun to read - I really enjoyed the insight that we got into Remus's background and the snatches of childhood memories that he has from before he was bitten (it's so heartbreaking to think how much of a normal life was robbed from him by Greyback when he hadn't done anything wrong) - and then the thoughts he had about Clara. The two of them are so cute and they definitely both like each other (I mean, they're going to end up married so I would hope they do) but it was really fun to read his thoughts when he was trying and failing not to stare at Clara, especially with the transition from the winter to summer wardrobe.
You capture the dynamics between the two of them so well here. There's just the right amount of flirtiness and tension lying beneath their easy friendship, and I'm so intrigued to see how you keep developing it.
Ah, I love that we got to meet Clara's parents in this chapter! I think all too often we don't tend to see the parents of a character who's an adult and especially if the character's Muggle-born, since it seems to be easier to kind of ignore the Muggle world. But I really love the fact that Clara's parents are so important to her and her roots mean so much, as well. Jack and Rosemary both seem brilliant!
I felt so sorry for Remus in certain parts of this chapter - early on, when he's trying to dissuade himself from trying to go any further with Clara because he doesn't want to "inflict" himself on her and her family, with his curse. And then again later, when he's explaining his lycanthropy to Jack and Rosemary. You captured his character really well there and I thought you conveyed his sense of shame and regret at that point. It was so brave of him to be honest with her parents on the first time they'd met, too.
And then Jack offering him some shifts at the pub <3 Clara's parents seem so warm-hearted and genuine, and it was so sweet of them to do that despite the fact that Remus has lycanthropy. I think they can both see how much he means to Clara and trust her judgement of his character.
(It was really interesting to see that they kind of seem to feel that she's wasted by staying in the area rather than going off and exploring new places and doing new things - I wonder what prompted them to think that in the first place.)
That chat with Rosemary at the end was brilliant - I'm excited to see whether Clara decides to act on it sooner rather than later!
Hello! Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie.
SO MUCH CLARA AND REMUS IN THIS CHAPTER. WOOOOO!!!
I really like the way that Remus and Clara have grown so close - how two people who've been used to being on their own for so long would easily get used to the companionship of another person being around. It's lovely to see how easily they get on and how effortless their conversation and spending time together comes, to the point that Clara even misses him when he's not here.
And I love that Remus has got a job in a library - that's so perfect for him! I feel like seasonal Muggle work would probably be a way forward for people who are dealing with lycanthropy, because nobody in the Muggle world would suspect such a thing. His failure to understand the decimalised currency made me laugh, too - it's quite funny to think that the witches and wizards who had a vague grip on the Muggle world in that way would find that a real stumbling block.
It was really sweet seeing Clara manage to make Remus open up a bit more about his friends. She didn't try and force him to speak about them and he obviously feels comfortable enough at this point to talk about them - at least about the people they were when they were in school together and they were young and carefree. Laughing about those pranks that they pulled seemed like the best way to start dealing with the loss, though I might have thought he'd have mentioned Peter a little more, too - even just something surprising about how he'd been the one to think of such-and-such a prank, maybe (though I'm not a big fan of Peter, so I'm not great at suggesting that sort of thing).
The drunk conversation brought out SO MUCH INFORMATION! Remus having had a crush on Clara when they were at school gave me so many feelings and it was so sweet to see him all embarrassed talking about it - no wonder he gave her such an intense look when he saw her kissing Snape. But I loved the story about the way she comforted the Muggle-born, as well, and all that we're learning about her character here. I'm so intrigued to see more!
Hello! Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie.
Ah, I'm so, so glad that they got through the first full moon okay! I was really worried about how they were going to manage it, but I should have known that between the two of them, both intelligent people (I'm still so impressed that Remus can do wandless magic, by the way!) they would find a way to make it as safe as possible. After all, Remus has survived up until this point. But I thought the idea of putting the wards on the area of the forest that he was in and making sure people didn't go there so that they weren't in danger from him was a really clever move!
Remus's panic when he didn't know what had happened to Clara! His feelings were definitely becoming more obvious in the opening scene, and then of course he actually acts on them - I loved the moment when he heard his friends talking to him and encouraging him on. Remus tends to be so self-deprecating (a trait he shares with Clara) but I can definitely imagine James and Sirius cheering him on when he gets all flirty with Clara.
I kind of skipped a big bit of the chapter there :P But anyway, Snape has agreed to make the Wolfsbane potion for Remus! Yay! It was very surprising to see that he'd agreed but it makes a lot of sense - the tensions between them are so evident but they also fit the characters we know. I hadn't thought before that the pair might have seen each other in between school and the time when Remus started teaching at Hogwarts, but I'm so intrigued to see how you're going to fill that gap and trace their interactions.
But yes, the Wolfsbane is going to make such a difference to Remus and I can see how happy it made him - and Clara. It'll make such a difference to both of them. And the moment at the end was a lot of tension and unusual boldness - I was quite surprised by it but I'm intrigued to see what you're yet to reveal about the two of them!
Hello! Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie :)
Ah, I really enjoyed this chapter - the way that you tracked the two of them over time and we saw them slowly becoming more comfortable with each other. I like your characterisation of both of them - Clara is a really awesome original character and I think you've captured some of Remus's characteristics really well in this. Especially how astute and observant he is, and the way that he finds the right thing to say to try and lighten the mood.
I also loved all the northern references and culture that you weaved into the story here - Ringo, and the VHS, the past Prime Minister (the current one - shudder) and of course the toasted teacakes. I kind of want one of them, now.
One thing you might want to do is take a quick look at the formatting in this chapter - I'm not sure why but there's a symbol that's appearing instead of a certain character (possibly a hyphen but I'm not sure) and it just disrupts the appearance of the chapter a little.
I think you managed to capture the apprehension of the full moon really well in this chapter. We all know that Remus had a difficult existence after the first war was over and struggled to get work, but I think you emphasised how much of his existence is month to month - and not just on what he can afford to live, but rather the fact that he doesn't know what will happen and where he'll go for the full moon.
Now that he's living with Clara, I can understand her stress over finding out what to do at the next full moon, too, and I think it's really good of her to try and find out about the Wolfsbane potion and even see if Snape can teach her how to brew it. Clara just seems to have such a big heart and tries to help people.
I really don't like Snape. I've never been a big fan, but I have to say that here he doesn't do himself any favours. I can understand that she was asking a lot of him because he was bullied by Remus's friends (and Remus did nothing to stop it) but equally, he treated Clara in a way that she didn't deserve. I kind of struggle to see why they're friends when he asks so childishly, so it won't surprise you that I cheered her on when she stormed out and left (loved Edie too, by the way).
I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next and how they manage the first full moon, especially if they can't get hold of any Wolfsbane potion to make his transformation more manageable.
Hello! Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie!
Ahhh this chapter is already giving me feelings and I barely know the characters yet, this is wonderful! Please don't put me through too much heartbreak reading their story?
The escape plan worked well, but I loved the scene with the bus journey. The descriptions of the woman who came and likes to talk to the people she sits next to felt very believable and authentic - I have definitely seen people like that on public transport and had the awkward moments of trying to avoid them, so it made me laugh to read the way that Clara managed to rescue Remus from being left alone to deal with the situation.
Maybe it's slightly cliché, but I loved seeing her sitting on his knee and the initial awkwardness of the situation turning into something that became more comfortable - especially than she'd have first anticipated. We also got an interesting insight into Clara's history here, too, in that she's not voluntarily been this close to a man before - I suspect that both her and Remus will be relatively lacking in the romantic history department, but I'm sure they'll make it through.
I loved the details about her family, as well, and the way she didn't question taking Remus in until she could help him get back on his feet. It shouldn't surprise me given how caring a person she obviously is, but it's really great to see. And haha - that last line feels like famous last words to me, Clara!
Hi Bex! Back for RvG and the Magical Menagerie again :)
Ooh, I wasn't expecting you to skip forward so far in this chapter - this is yet another time that you've surprised me with this story and we're only three chapters in. That has to be a good sign, right?
So I was kind of expecting to see Clara and Remus growing closer - maybe as friends, at least - while they were both still at Hogwarts, and a relationship starting from there. This is going to be a very different relationship and I'm actually really pleased to see it, because a lot of people meet their spouse after school, rather than during it, and it's refreshing to read stories which reflects that. And obviously the First Wizarding War is now over, so that won't be happening around them, but the effects of it are still going to be felt.
I found Clara's back story really interesting, especially her decision to remove herself from the magical world. I can definitely understand that, with a war going on that condemns her just for her blood status - had she become a Healer, she might have made herself more of a target to the Death Eaters, but as a nurse she can still help people who need it. The conflict between magical and Muggle healing was interesting to see her mention, too.
(Just a tiny "historical" point - I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure that nursing only became a degree subject in the last decade, and the training beforehand took place in hospitals and specific places to study.)
And Remus turns up in the bed! I'm really glad that Clara was the one to go and see to him, not just for the reasons that she said - what a way to bring them together! I really feel sorry for him here, and the fact that he's living in a tent in the woods is just heartbreaking. I'm intrigued to see what Clara's escape plan is and how they're going to get together from here - and so relieved she was so accepting of him!
Hi again! Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie :)
I have to admit, this was a really unexpected start to the story (after the prologue, of course) - I knew that Clara was friends with Severus Snape but I wasn't expecting the chapter to open with the fact that she was in love with him. It definitely made me ask all sorts of questions about how she got from that point to becoming Remus's wife, and made me really want to read on.
You gave us such a clear picture of Clara in this chapter, though, and I really felt for her - her insecurities over her appearance felt very familiar and easy to relate to, and I could definitely understand the jealousy that she felt for Lily Evans. I'm intrigued to see if her feelings towards her will change at all through the course of this story, since being Remus's wife is no guarantee that she'll like his friend(s).
I thought you did a great job of marking out the characters and timeframe in this story (like the details that Snape is two years older than Clara) quite subtly. The background that you included about how they became friends was also really interesting. From what we know of Clara in the first chapter, being a Healer and helping others, I'm really curious to see more of her here. The fact that she's a Muggleborn and has ended up in Slytherin, especially in this period, sounds like a really, really difficult situation, and though I don't like the way that Snape went about it, I'm glad she had a friend. Snape made her aware very early on of the currency that works for the Slytherin common room, I think.
And the kiss was so awkward - I thought you built up to it really well, and there was so much anticipation and hope around it, and then not only did Clara realise that she didn't want to be kissing the person she was kissing, but they were interrupted by the Marauders. I think that solved the crush quite quickly! It was really interesting to see the Marauders from Clara's point of view, too, but I loved seeing her stand up to them - and to Snape (the lashing out against people when he feels awkward or embarrassed is a theme, I see) - and that look that she shared with Remus!
I'm so intrigued about what will happen next, and where Clara will go from with this. The fact that she clearly has conflicting loyalties when we see her in the prologue makes a lot of sense, but I get the impression that she can't cut ties as easily as Lily can on the basis of her blood status, since she really doesn't seem to have anyone else.
Hi Bex! Here for RvG and for the Magical Menagerie.
I thought it was about time that I came and read this - and I really wasn't disappointed. Even knowing beforehand that this story was going to be a Remus/OC, I was so intrigued by this prologue. Your writing style here is deliberately vague and it gave us just enough information to really set the scene without telling us too much about Clara or what was happening to everyone around Harry. I have so many questions about her and this story already, which can only be a good thing from a first chapter!
Giving us the date of the story immediately helps to set the scene, and we know that this is happening in the aftermath of the Battle of Hogwarts. And I was immediately drawn to Clara - Harry's curiosity about who she is drew me in and had me asking questions and wanting to know more about her. So far, she seems like a brilliant, intriguing woman. I love the fact that she's chosen not to take sides in the war but is still helping people who need it - there are so many people like that in every war that happens, but it's not often that you get to see them in stories.
The expression that reminded him of Snape has me wondering whether Clara learnt it from him :P
The fact that Clara has somehow found a balance between being Remus's wife and Snape's friend is fascinating, and I sensed a real pride in Minerva telling Harry who Clara was. I'm so curious about why she normally keeps her identity a secret, and what it is that she's hiding - what her story is.
I thought this was a really clever way to introduce us to an original character through a chance encounter with one we already know so well, and I'm really looking forward to finding out more about Clara in the rest of the story!
I thought I'd pop in and leave a review for you. I'm very much intrigued by the beginning you've set up here. Clara seems like such an enigma and I can't wait to get to know her a bit more, though I suspect she isn't going to make it easy for us readers. Like Harry, I am curious to know what her story is. I was not expecting her identity to be Mrs Lupin at all but I really loved the twist right at the end. It definitely kept me on my toes.
I also really like your characterisation of Harry and Minerva as well. I thought both of them were incredibly believable. I'm always to scared to write anything pertaining to Harry because I find it so intimidating, but I thought you did a really good job with it.
I did notice one spelling mistake at the beginning. Well, not a spelling mistake, more of a missed word. It's in the second sentence, I think you've forgotten ‘go', as it should be, "he couldn't place what had caused his left leg to ‘go' limp". I don't know if you're overly concerned, but I thought I'd point it out just in case 😊
But great work and I'm looking forward to reading one.
Hey, here for a review!
I liked your writing. It flows very well and has a lot of nice subtle description. The dialogue is distinctive as well.
I will say a few parts of this had me scratching my head. Specifically the Mrs. Lupin bit. Is this an AU? What happened to Tonks? As one of my favorites, I was thinking, that has me a bit worried!
Then I read the A/N. :P
Harry also seems to be acting a bit different than normal, especially around someone he just met. Of course he did just fight a war and kill a dark lord, so maybe he shouldn't be acting normal in the first place. Though I wouldn't think someone would find it too weird that a healer would just give their name.
I see that the characters mentioned say Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Severus Snape, so I'm guessing they're not dead. In that case, I'm wondering how things went differently in the storyline besides just the final battle. I'm also wondering what she was involved in. The Order?
Anyway, good job. It seems like it should be interesting, and the first chapter left readers with a lot of good questions. :)
Hi Bex! I’m back for the next chapter!
Okay, I love how much clearer of a picture we get of Clara in this chapter - it starts to explain some of the hints we get of her from the first chapter and put them into place. The fact that she’s a muggleborn Slytherin is incredibly interesting, and does explain how she’d end up with ties on both sides, especially when Snape is the one who protected her when she first got sorted.
Also, I really get that thing she had with Snape - where she realised she was actually more attracted to the idea of having a crush on Snape than she was actually attracted to him. I feel like that’s actually a pretty common thing, especially when you’re a teenager and are still trying to figure out what liking someone actually *means*, so I thought that was a really interesting plot point. And the bargain they had about her being his back-up plan if he hadn’t been kissed by a certain point.
Clara’s comments on Lily were also super interesting - I feel like most OCs in Marauders Era fics tend to like Lily, or at least feel relatively neutral about her, so it’s kinda cool that Clara *doesn’t* feel that way and actually dislikes Lily. And it’s pretty fair, really - watching someone who you consider relatively equal to you get all the recognition can be frustrating, and having the boy you’re interested in (or at least have convinced yourself you’re interested in) be into that same person is definitely cause for dislike. I wonder if her opinion of Lily is going to change at all as the story continues and Clara (presumably) gets a little closer to the Marauders as she starts to get to know Remus?
Ooh, I’m all for Clara being the one to put James and Sirius in their place when they’re acting like brats. You go, girl. But also I feel like that look with Remus is definitely the start of something, and I’m also super curious to know what’s on his mind that’s causing him to look at her like that.
Another great chapter - I’m really liking this story and Clara so far, and can’t wait to see what happens next!
This chapter was really important to the story, it explains a lot more about Clara and I feel like to jump from a 30 something Clara to a 20 something Clara would have left a lot of gaps. Teenage years always offer insightful and embarrassing moments and I am all about writing those!
I remember just liking the idea of having a crush on someone and being infatuated with that, rather than the person themselves. When I was around that age at least. So it made it a lot easier to write. As a teen I was definitely more like a Clara or a Snape than a marauder, one of the golden trio or any of the next gen - so that probably helped me a lot during the planning process! It was a bit of a last minute decision, but this scene has always been mentioned or has floated around the story a lot, especially in the beginning. A bit like a Miss Vanjie moment from Drag Race!
To Clara, Lily is that girl. The one that's pretty, popular, clever, well liked and to top it all off - she isn't a bad person. There are no flaws, and when Clara looks at herself and sees all these things that are "wrong" with her - it makes her hate Lily even more. Her emotions really are fuelled by jealousy. Because of course she can't just be perfect, she has to attract the attention of the once person that Clara wants. Well, she thinks she wants him.
You'll find out why Remus was looking at Clara like that in future chapters. I mean the next one might throw you off a little bit....but it's all going to come out eventually!
Hi Bex! I feel like I’ve heard about this story constantly, but I’ve never actually R&R’d it - so I’m here doing that now, and also spreading a little holiday cheer!!
This is such an interesting point to start the story on, and from such an interesting perspective. I’m assuming, given that this is a Remus/OC story, that Harry won’t be the narrator for the entire time, but he’s a great choice for this first chapter. It means we get a glimpse of Clara without really knowing all that much about her just yet - instead, we just learn about her mannerisms and a few hints about her behaviour, and then the backstory from McGonagall at the end of the chapter. It’s a really interesting and unique way to introduce a character, and it has me super curious to learn more about Clara.
I think you’ve already set her up as a really interesting character - she was friends with Snape but married to Remus, which is a major bridge between two totally different worlds. And it does help explain why she’d choose to not participate in the war at all, although I’m truthfully a bit curious as to how that would work with Remus being involved, because I feel like being married to someone that’s so closely involved with the war would push you to get involved yourself. It’ll be really interesting to see how that dynamic affects her relationship with Remus.
Also. Ok. I know you said this was an AU, but like, how much of an AU?? Because if it’s not an AU in regards to deaths in the last battle, then ugh my heart is already breaking for her, because she’s gone off in pursuit of a husband that she doesn’t know is dead yet, and that’s going to be absolutely heart wrenching when she finds out. But I guess that’s a potential heartbreak for another time, because I feel like the next chapter is going to go back to the beginning of their story.
This was a great set-up for the story and a great introduction to your OC, and I’m excited to read more!
This is probably the only time that we'll ever hear from Harry's POV - I do love writing it and it just felt like a good choice. I mean when starting a fic where everyone's in the dark about the "mysterious" Clara, I thought I'd offer perspective from someone who's involved in Remus' life, is a bit clueless (bless him) and knows virtually nothing about this new character. That and - he's fun to write!
She really is part of two different worlds, I mean excluding POA - would Remus and Severus ever have a conversation again? Probably not if they could help it....but they will be. Unfortunately for them both. I think regarding why she isn't involved, it's sort of to do with the fact that she isn't Tonks. He met Tonks because of the order, she was already a fighter and this war pushed the two of them together. Whereas Clara meets him when the first war is over, she was a muggleborn who hid because she was scared of what wizarding society would do to her and she's all about her own interests rather than good vs evil. So her relationship with Remus, his thoughts on her being part of the war too - it's all going to be different. I mean I might get around it by having her involved very much behind the scenes. You know, harbouring certain people, being part of safehouses, treating the injured...but she won't be part of any fight if she can help it.
In regards to AU - I've finally decided on how it will end...but I'm not telling. Things are definitely going to change pre battle, that I can say. But will Remus and Severus still die...you'll have to wait and see!
Thank you so much for this wonderful review!
Bex!!! <3 <3 <3
I'm here for your wishlist, dear! And because I missed this story... :)
Aww... those two are so cute? I just love them so much! <3
I loved Clara's disappointment when she woke up and Remus wasn't beside her... :P I knew he was planning to bring her breakfast in bed immediately, honestly. :P Ah, their banter! It was to die for! And everything else... I can't get over how adorable they are, Siriusly!
Obviously Remus is so scared of hurting her... even without the thought of Adrian (Merlin, I hate him!), being scared of hurting people is like second nature to him... and with the full moon so close and him not feeling completely in control... of course he would have that kind of reaction... but I can totally understand Clara's disappointment, too. (But also, Remus is the sweetest... just in case my thoughts about him weren't obvious already.)
I'm not sure what else to say, except repeating over and over that this was just plain adorable! I can't get enough of Remus and Clara, really! I love this story of yours so much!
Happy holidays, dear! And a huge snowball hug to you!
Awww, thank you so much Chiara! I hope you enjoyed the holidays.
These two are really cute. There's a lot of youth in their relationship. Everything's new and exciting and Remus doesn't have much more experience than Clara so they're going through a lot of emotions step by step. Part of that is Remus battling the whole - wanting to snog her senseless but also not wanting to hurt her because everyone he's loved has left (Or he's left them.). Whereas Clara really wants to be taken seriously, she wants this relationship and wants to feel like the grown woman that she is. It's so confusing for the two of them, but oh so cute! They'll work something out eventually. I mean their talks just seem to go nowhere, right?
This one was a nice break and a lot of fun to write, so I'm glad you enjoyed this!
Ooh! Such an intriguing first chapter!
I love the idea that this mysterious character, Ciara, decided to not take sides in the war. I mean, I personally think she should have, because to not speak out against evil is to allow evil to flourish, BUT, having said that, I think it makes for really interesting character development for her to just refuse to take part, and to show equal humanity to both sides. It's intriguing and unique and it makes me want to know more about her. I feel like she was forced to hide and I'm not sure why.
I also liked how Harry wanted to know more about her and she shut him up real quick. It made me chuckle.
I'm curious how McGonagall knew about Ciara when no one else did. And why she felt like it was okay, at the end, to reveal Ciara's true identity to Harry when she had been hiding for so long. I hope Ciara is okay with the revelation. I have a feeling Harry will not rest until he knows more about her, and I'm curious as to how she and Remus met, married, and maintained a relationship during the war as Remus fought and she remained neutral. Unless Remus didn't fight in your story, as it has already diverged from canon.
A great start! Just enough mystery to grab my interest, but not too much that I feel totally lost and confused. I like that it's tied to canon but it doesn't rely entirely on canon, so I feel like anything could happen!
Honestly this is so weird when a legend like yourself comes and reviews MY chapter. This is such a surreal moment.
It's going to be a while before my story returns to this time period, but her reasons are a joint effort. I keep going back to this chapter and consider changing it - but no. I think to keep her out of the war completely whilst being married to REMUS LUPIN is going to be the biggest challenge ever - and I'm here for it. There are reasons I've chosen, including her own beliefs, but there'll be something bigger. It might even affect their relationship. Who knows! I feel like I'm 100 chapters away from there...but I also hope it won't take that long.
You're so right, if Clara buries her head in the sand then she's just allowing the war to continue. It's a rubbish view to take, but I feel like it's a bit of a slytherin thing....if that makes sense. Had she not been a muggle born, she would have most likely chosen the winning side. Another terrible thing to do, but really she's a walking contradiction. She's only really interested in her loved ones, it's not about "peace on earth" and being a pacifist. Had there been a war that hadn't involved her friends and family, she wouldn't have cared. But it involves persecution of people like herself and her loved ones - so she's involved. She hates it.
Remus will probably be less active in the war than he had been. Some things are definitely going to change, but again - it feels like a long way off. As you can see, I'm just telling myself this like my procrastination is acceptable. It really isn't. I have no idea what I'm doing.
Thank you so much for this review!!
I'm here to spread some Christmas cheer for the holiday gifting event! I'm reviewing as I go! enjoy my random thoughts:
I read the prologue a while ago but I'm really happy to be back! I really like how it starts with Clara's inner monologue about her appearance. In regards to hair, I really feel this as a girl with mega curly hair. I feel her pain. I loved this line 'Shakespeare level tragedy that was her face.' - I just had to laugh at that line. Poor Clara, I love the first half of the chapter is just her inner thought process to do the story telling. I think it really works so the reader is very much inside her head.
I really like it when characters aren't close to Lily because we do get this perfect idea of her. It's cool that we get to see her from another POV. I love Clara's dark sense of humour (just dark humour in general) but I love her debating with herself.
I have more questions - snape?? what we know she marries remus later, very interesting that Snape is a love interest of hers too. It is a bit hard for me to personally imagine Snape as a love interest but I love the way that she describes him and it suits him so I can see why Clara would like him. I would find it pretty difficult if I was Clara trying to live up to Lily. I love how sassy she was in the interaction with the marauders. she is a little firecracker and I'm here for that.
I love the end of the chapter is focus on her little interaction with Remus, I'm looking forward to seeing more of this pairing! I really love Clara's personality - it's a great balance that you've crafted. I look forward to reading more soon!
I'm really glad you enjoyed Clara's inner monologue. I tried to remember how I felt when I was fifteen and encorporated that into Clara's character. It definitely made writing it a lot easier.
I never saw got the hype surrounding Lily. Don't get me wrong, I don't despise her like Clara does (In fact her hatred and jealousy is a little bit frightening.) but I don't appreciate her like a lot of other readers do. I like to write characters with an obvious flaw, so she's always been a little difficult for me. Some people have really mastered her characterisation, but I'm not there yet. So I think I channelled my frustrations through my writing, haha!
Honestly the idea of Clara having a crush on Snape emerged as I was writing. I mean how many people can say they've been attracted to him. It would have been so problematic if they had been an item, in fact it wouldn't have worked. At all. That's another thing I like to write, disasters or worlds that entertain breakups and heart ache and awkward cringey moments - they're fun...for me. My characters, not so much.
Thank you so much for this wonderful review! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you!
Hi, Bex, my dear! :)
I've been away from this story for too long, so I'm profiting of the Interhouse Camaradie Challenge to read on and see how Remus and Clara are doing... :)
Okay, I didn't expect the turn this chapter took... but as soon as you introduced Adrian, his gestures, his words, Clara's reactions... I imagined what must have happened... and then when Clara confessed Remus everything... Oh, my god! I'm still shaking in anger! And the fact that she actually thought it was her fault... it's just awful, but also so very real... unfortunately... :(
I love how Remus is the exact opposite of Adrian, how he wants to make sure that he doesn't cross any boundaries without Clara's will and permission. And I love how he's not scared to call things with their name and how he tries to convince Clara that she's not to blame. I found also so interesting how he used the word "monster" here and how he recognized himself that he's giving it a completely different meaning. Honestly, I just really, really loved all of his reactions. He's just so wonderful.
And btw, Adrian aside (I really hope Remus will give him a good punch if he crosses him again), I can't get over how adorable those two are! They are just so sweet together and it's so obvious how much they care for each other and I love all their teasing and their chemistry and just about everything... and it makes me sad that this episode has put more uncertainty on their relationship (because obviously now Remus is even more scared of potentially hurting her... and she's scared of disappointing him... why would they even worry about that???) But I loved the final scene, it was just so lovely to just see them snuggle together that way... and I really hope they'll overcome their fears soon, because they deserve to be happy together, okay?
Sorry, this review is a huge mess, as usual... just know that I've loved this chapter a lot (like any other chapter I've read so far...)
I'll try to be back soon! (If I don't, just poke me. Or come back to visit my review thread, so I don't forget to come back to this awesome story!)
Lots of love,
This chapter definitely moved the story in a bit of a different direction. Adrian isn't someone here for a long time - in fact I don't even know if he'll be mentioned again (as of my latest chapter, anyway.). In the real world most situations like this dont get a resolution - and this world is my own creation, but it isn't a perfect one. So I'm a little unsure where I want to take this side plot as of yet. I don't regret adding this though, I think it was important to show that this is very real and it doesn't make a person weak.
Remus is most definitely the total opposite of Adrian. In every way. Although Clara isn't too keen on him treating her like glass, hopefully that will change soon as well.
Thank you so much for this wonderful review, they're never a mess - I love reading them!
BEX!! OMG, this chapter!!! What are you doing to me right now?!?
Ok, hold that thought. Hello, dear, I am here (late, as always) for your August Hot Seat review, lol!! XD
Like, seriously tho, you know that I have been DYING for some time to come back to this. Dying, I tell you!!! And WOW, was I ever not disappointed!! OMG, Marauder alert!!! And they were PERFECT too!!!! <3
I feel so bad for Clara, because I can totally relate to liking someone who does not reciprocate those feelings in the same way you do. It sucks, and it’s painful. But I especially liked the detail you put in when she finally did kiss him, about how she felt no sparks or anything, because he wasn’t right. I love how she was instantly able to identify that he was not the “man of her dreams” and break off that crush and essentially move on. It shows great strength in her character.
I loved the ending, so much. Siriusly. (Especially the dramatic Remus stare!!!) =P
But more than that, I really, really, enjoyed getting to see young Clara, and hear the backstory on her friendship with Severus. I adore her personality so much already, and I really like all of the details you out in here about why she left the magical community, and how she was studying medicine during the war, and just EVERYTHING, OMG!!!
Bex, you are so talented. You know precisely how to tell a story, and your writing slays, girl!! I loved everything about this soooo much, and I absolutely cannot wait to come back for MORE!! I love Clara so much, and I find myself wanting to know everything about her. I am especially looking forwards to seeing her interactions with Remus now as well. Thank you so much for writing this amazing fic and creating such wonderful Characters!!!! ♥️♥️♥️
Hey Deana, sorry it's taken so long to respond to your lovely review!
I'm so glad you came back to read this fic - and that you got to see the marauder chapter.
I think we've all been in Clara's shoes of liking someone who doesn't return your feelings. It's awful and no one should ever have to go through it more than once, but we do - in fact I think it's part of life. I think teenage hormones, loneliness and general adolescence is what created her "crush" or whatever it was she thought she felt - for Severus. The sooner it was over, the better for them both. I mean as you'll find out in future chapters, I never let ANYONE forget it. Well, maybe Severus, who's apparently oblivious to such things. Even though they've joked about it. Blame it on the firewhiskey.
Bless Remus and his dramatic stare. Fun fact, when I wrote that in I had no IDEA why Remus was looking at her like that. I just wanted to write it and hoped that I'd figure something out later on. Thank god I did.
Thank you so much for this review. It really lifted my spirits and helped motivate me to crack on with this fic!
O/ Heya, Bex! I'm running so late and I'm SO sorry ;_; !
Ahaha! Clara's number one tip for werewolf seduction: wear his shirt...and nothing else. Because pancakes can wait, dammit. And fresh coffee is a necessity. A necessity. Who drinks instant coffee? :P But, hey, shirtless Remus and Clara and Remus' shirt. Together, they have a complete outfit. Again, they're adorable and domestic and I want to squish them, they are just too cute.
Hmm. Clara has a much better plan for what to have in bed than Remus' breakfast surprise (as sweet as it is). Yay! Forget the breakfast! Hehe! And them having some 'together time' ;) feels so natural and flirty and loving and needy -- I love it. It's so perfect for these two characters. But it's all fun and games until somebody burns the pancakes.
Remus giving Clara hickies is pretty much the best thing ever. Hickies are something that reminds me of what teenagers do, which makes perfect sense for these two. Their experience with love is so juvenile that it makes sense that they're taking things slow and they do things that people who are in love for the first time do. <33 God, I love these two so much.
Clara's neighbor is going to have to be extremely understanding if they're going to be doing that to his lounger, haha! But heck, it sounds like a wonderful marathon...like, 10/10 do recommend. It's sweet that he's always so concerned with her needs and feelings and general well-being. Plus, Remus' ...erm... need to use the bathroom *cough* and Clara's laughing about it was hysterical.
All the sexual tension! You're killing me! And haha, Remus' teasing about flirting with her mom... You definitely have a knack for humor and I love it with these two.
As I said, I'm VERY sorry that this is late <3.
Hey Rumpels - I've missed you!
I feel like their lack of experience in the world of relationships is what makes them a bit needy and clingy with each other. I like this affectionate side of them - though it will soon start to tone down a bit. There'll be lots of dating, lots of cute moments - I usually write a lot of angst so this is all so new to me!
I'm glad you liked the comedy between the two of them as well.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review Rumpels <3
SLYTHERIN HOT SEAT.
I've seen this story around heaps, so I thought I'd drop in and give it a go. I really miss the era of Marauders fics where Sirius and/or Remus was paired with an OC, and then they spanned into a post-Second Wizarding War AU. They were all the rage circa 2007, which is when I started reading fanfics, and this has just taken me back and made me feel so nostalgic.
This was a strong start. You've set up Clara as this mysterious woman, and I want to know more about her. I am wondering if Remus has died during the Battle of Hogwarts in this AU? That might obviously be a spoiler! I'm trying to figure out all the parameters of the AU, I guess.
The only thing that stuck me as a little odd in this chapter was Harry. I couldn't quite figure out why he was so intrigued by Clara in the first place. He goes into a lot of detail describing the way he sees her, and it just didn't make sense to me why he'd do that?
An excellent start, Bex! I'm excited to see where this goes!
I had absolutely no idea that sirius and or remus x oc were all the range in the late 2000s, I think I was reading a lot of Snily and Tom x Minerva back then! It's not surprising that I'm ten years behind everyone else!
You'll find out what happens to Remus, but not for a long time. I have lots of endings planned - it's just a matter of picking one!
I think that generally Clara was a bit of an abnormality. So I generally assumed he had met most of the order or those affiliated with the "good" side of the battle. He had never seen this woman, heard of this woman but she didn't bat an eyelid at him. She also reminded him of a certain Potion's Master and that struck him as rather odd because, Severus Snape is quite individual to himself. Lastly, I think it's very much post battle mind. He's disorientated and he isn't thinking clearly. I debated writing it just entirely third person without a POV but it was a lot more fun to write from Harry's perspective and it needed someone who had no idea who she was and Harry seemed to fit that role nicely.
Thanks so much for the review!
I've been meaning to check this story out for ages so finally here I am! So I thought this chapter was interesting, you sew some many sews here which is going to amazing to see unfold. This chapter has really got my attention, I can't help wondering what had happened to Clara to get to this point. She's so mysteries and you've set up her inner monologue nicely, I can't wait to see her develop more over the course of the story.
I think my favourite part of this chapter was Harry's POV looking at Clara was wondering about her. I liked how you were able to show Harry's feeling towards this stranger and how she interested him. It showed off his vulnerability after everything that had happened to him. When he questions what she looks like happy, there is something very powerful and poignant about that statement. there is also some beautiful imagery in this section.
I'm really looking forward to seeing what you're going to do with this story but I found this chapter really engaging and really has my attention. I assume we're going to find more about Clara so the rest of the story from the past. One aspect I am looking forward to seeing how you handle that. Great start to this story!
- Abbi xo
Quodpot - Match 1 - Friends to Lovers. <3
Thanks so much for the review. I'm really glad you liked Harry's POV - I loved writing from his perspective and I miss it. That's the downfall of starting near the end I suppose!
Yes, after this point the story takes place in the 1980s (mostly) and then we jump around until we get back to the start of this fic aka the end of my timeline...time jumping can get a bit confusing, haha!