Sarah!! Here for the magical menagerie and January rvg!
THE FINAL CHAPTER! Merlin's beard, what an incredible accomplishment. I want to state now (and I'm sure that I'll say it again many times over in this review) that I am so proud of you for finishing a gigantic project! Novels are no easy things to write, and it requires a tremendous amount of bravery to actually share something like a novel with the world. Amazing!
This chapter has a lot of finality (duh), but it leaves me happy that all the loose ties have been neatly tied. And going from the last few lines of the fic, I think you truly capture the happiness that Carson feels as she interacts with everyone for the final time. Freddy and Meg are adorable as they bicker over the apartment. I am thrilled that Louis gets the final say (open floor plan and an island). I feel like this is a big moment for him, especially since he's been teased for essentially the entire story and now he has the best idea of them all. HA! The girls (Vero, Maeve, Lizzie, Meg, and Carson) are as strong as ever here. I can tell that their friendship is going to last a lifetime. I am so proud of you for writing so many characters in a fic like this!!
Also, I know that I've already mentioned this before, but I ship Oliver and Alicia so much. They have such wonderful chemistry, and it's so obvious that they absolutely adore each other. My other main ship (besides Freddy and Meg) are, of course, James and Carson. They're such a fun couple, and it's awesome that they will be working with each other professionally. I like how that hints that they'll be together for a while (I mean, they're even teased that they'll end up married, which I have no doubt that they WILL).
Overall, this has been such a fun story to read. I am so proud of you for writing this, for taking the time to come up with the plot and characters, and for sharing. You should be proud of yourself, too! Well done, Sarah!!!
Sarah! Here for the magical menagerie! and january rvg.
The penultimate chapter... and we finally get the title!!! And Carson actually finally totally communicates her true feelings to James. AHHHH! It is so cute! And adorable. One could say... adorably cute! And I like how understated it is. It seems way more natural than a grand speech and then the declaration. Having James and Carson go into a bush, how funny and it is SOOOO them! I do get a sense of how Carson feels like she is at home when James is around. You've done an excellent job at developing that throughout this winding and turning tale!
Okay... I realize that I had written the first part of the review before passing out last night... but oh boy, was it exciting to wake up and read that Quidditch Final!!! I like how you capture James's nerves and then show him pulling it together for the game the next day. Also, I love how he throws his plan out the window in favor of sheer glory and upcoming victory. That's rather Gryffindor of him, don't you think? Anyway, the Quidditch bit was such a fun part to read. :)
And then that post Quidditch party! I like how you have the fun and silly shenanigans of the motley crew happening while James and Carson have that serious talk... It's a mature one to have, and honestly, I think they both handled it a lot better than the "I love you" fiasco. However, I hope that they don't break up because of different career paths. I know that's a thing and it's rather realistic, but as Carson mentions, she can do what she wants to do from anywhere, so hopefully that allows some flexibility for the future of their relationship (because they're so cute togeter)...
Onto the final chapter! Ahhh!
Sarah!! Here for the magical menagerie and for january rvg!
Well... this is not what I wanted for Carson in this chapter, but I think it rings very true to who she is as a person. Carson WOULD go to another continent to go to a lengthy tailgating party to drink away her worries, bringing friends who are there to either enable her drinking habits or somehow be responsible. I mean... that's what every girl needs, right? I do adore Freddy in this chapter because he is texting James and forces Carson to talk about it with him. YAY! Because she needs to do that. She cannot ignore this forever, especially since James and Carson get along so well, and I would hate for them to break up over something trivial as this because, just like Uncle Justin, I know that what Carson feels for James is SO OBVIOUS.
Uncle Justin's advice is SPOT ON. Carson needs that. She wants to be spoonfed what to do, but she knows deep down what she needs to do. I also love how Oliver calls her out on complaining about Uncle Justin's advice. It seems like everyone expects this behavior from her, and I am glad that they are giving her some tough love and support. This is an exciting moment of character growth for Carson. I KNOW she can do it!!!
Sarah! Here for the magical menagerie and rvg!!
Okay!!! What's going on with Meg? And Freddy? I get that we have to get everyone's reactions about Maeve and Louis out of the way and then everyone wondering how James and Carson fared, but come on! We are nearing the end of this novel, and right now, I need answers to all of these up-in-the-air relationships!!
You use the Quidditch match against Ravenclaw and the build up to James's birthday party as a clever bridge between the post-date drama and excitement of the friend group to that ending! I love all of the small details you include in this chapter: from the speakeasy theme, to James's oogling of Carson, to Maddy's frustration to not catching the snitch, to the hangovers, it's great! But that last scene really takes the cake. The ever-dreaded "I love you" moment has finally arrived... and we have our main character running away. I think the ending of this chapter is perfect: Carson cursing James because those laps are FINALLY paying off... I mean, that's an amazing novel-long build up. Awesome! What is not awesome is that Carson doesn't say it back... but she has a few more chapters to redeem herself, so I am here to cheer her on!
Sarah! Here for the Magical Menagerie and for January RvG!
Okay. THIS CHAPTER is full of all the Valentine's Day fluff that I could ever possibly want because I have similar feelings about this holiday to Carson. I absolutely died of laughter when James tricks Carson into think that their first stop of their date is Madam Peddifoot's tea shop, ahahaha!!! That is SUCH a great way to characterize James Potter, and I am thrilled that you effortlessly inserted that part of him into this chapter!
And of course, the actual date he has planned for Carson is amazing. Mexican food, a candy shop tour, and then... watching Louis and Maeve unfold? Pure brilliant, James! I think I would have liked celebrating Valentine's Day in a similar style, to be honest.
Also, can I gush about Louis and Maeve? It's about damn time that this happens!!! I also love the comedic touch that you give Carson and James hiding behind a lamp post. It is something that both of them would do as individuals, and it is even better now that they are together. Once again, Sarah, you have some great instances of characterization in this chapter! :D
Sarah! Back again for the Magical Menagerie and for RvG!
WOW. That cliffhanger from last chapter had my heart racing and then... Vero and Dan are totally chill? Hmmm, okay, I'll buy it for now. It's nice to see the friend group so concerned about their wellbeing (and then amusingly puzzled at the nonchalantness of the group)...
QUIDDITCH: As a writer, I struggle with Quidditch scenes. As a reader, I am in awe of writers who can write good Quidditch scenes. And once again, you prove that you can write some excellent Quidditch scenes--especially with all of the descriptions of the stats!!! Being a Gryffindor (and wanting the protagonist of this fic to succeed, you know, basic literary stuff), I was rooting for Gryffindor and Carson the entire time. I am so stoked that they won! And that the stats work! I am not sure how stats work in real life sports, but by golly, I am glad that it showed in this Quidditch game! And I loved the surprise with the Quidditch scouts and James (and then the surprise visit of Oliver and Justin)... and it's so cute how Oliver and Justin end up at the after party. They sound like incredibly cool adults!
Also, I want to address the chemistry between Carson and James. It's so on point! They are both so passionate about Quidditch, and I love how they are comfortable with each other and about talking about their relationship so casually in front of others... it makes me wonder what's the come in the remaining chapters, so I'm going to stick around to find out!
Sarah! Here for the magical menagerie and rvg (gold)!!
What a chapter! I think it might be one of my favorites, to be honest. Why? Well... first, we FINALLY get to meet Carson's mother and she is as terrible as Carson describes her to be. How awful of her to blame Carson for, I don't know, existing! And accepting HER wedding invitation. Geez!! You already know my thoughts about frocos, and I think it is tragic that the groom was eaten by one. Noooo... Also, I loved the joke about grandma flying in on her broom, aahahaha.
Meeting the Wood's... that was spectacularly written. Oliver is a great overprotective father. I'm glad that he is able to bond with James over whiskey because James is a good bloke. And Harry and Ginny are good contrasts to Oliver because they are way more laidback and chill about James dating someone. It's nice to see the couple is accepted by both sets of parents (well, Oliver and Alicia at least). I loved getting to explore more of Carson's family here!
Also, this cliffhanger!!! Good thing I can click the "next" button!!!
Hey Sarah! Let's get this RvG and Magical Menagerie review rollllling!
Phew! Meg is found... safe and sound and generally seemingly okay. I LOVE how there is food waiting for her (see my last review for details). And it is hysterical that Freddy is trying to get in on the food action. I'm sorry, Fred, but Meg's need for food far outweighs your own... and Meg is SUPER generous in being willing to share with him... though I totally agree with her condition: NO COOKIE DOUGH FOR FRED. Because... that's probably the most obvious thing (which Freddy would not know if Meg hadn't clarified, ahahaha. Oh, I can only imagine what would have happened if he ate some of the cookie dough, lol. are you up for writing an AU?)
Ahhhh, James and Carson are so cute in this chapter. It was the right amount of fluff that I needed this morning. Though... I am a little concerned that when James comes back from showering to see Louis and Freddy also hanging with Carson in his bed, he's a little upset by that because Carson mentions how funny it is that he has turned his back on Quidditch... yikes. I wonder what's brewing in his mind!!!
And Arithmancy... I think that would be a really good career path for Carson. I'm curious to see what she will end up doing, especially with graduation looming closer and closer!
I can't believe I'm getting close to the end here... I'm wondering what's going to happen, so I'll definietly be back for more soon! :D
Hey Sarah! Here for January RvG (go gold!!!) and for the Magical Menagerie! And the story of course.
My pancake comrades and I never signed up for this. It's bad enough that we're used as brunch time and time again, but to have a swan land in our midst and sniff at us like we're some common bird seed? I have never thus been so insulted in my entire shelf life, and that is counting the time someone stuck a nozzle into a tree and drained me from my natural home. And who uses a swan to deliver a wedding invitation anyway? Does someone want to display their wealth that badly? That girl, Carson, has quite the mother to make that loud proclamation when everyone's trying to eat in peace. And then to have her use me as a way to ignore somone? Keep the insults rolling, why don't you?
Sincerely, The Maple Syrup
Okay, so I've been watching this romance unfold for, like, a while now. After all, I am the perfect companion to Taco Tuesday!! I can be blended, iced, or, for some inexplicable reason, consumed at room temperature. Give me time to salt my rim and put a festive umbrella in my hair, and you have yourself the perfect Margarita! Okay, I suppose I should, like, get back to the actual human beings here. Like... the girl, Carson, is totally opening up to the boy, James. It's making her so uncomfortable, and I'm like, "Helllllllo! I'm over here! Take a few more sips of me, honey, and you won't feel uncomfortable!" But, like, this couple is kinda cute. I can't wait to see the romance totally blossom! Xoxo, Marg
I may be vomit-flavored, but that does not mean that I get to be jostled around in someone's pocket to the point where I feel like throwing up myself. What is Freddy playing at, anyway, carrying me around in his pocket? If he thinks that I'm key lime or something to give him a boost during Quidditch practice, boy does he have another thing coming. Also, why all this drama over a failed romance? It's so sappy, that now I can't tell if I'm motion sick or just sick from teenage angst. It's getting to the point where I hope I fall out of Fred's pocket and land on the grass, to become bird food. I hear there's a swan nearby... that would be fun!
--A vomit flavored Bernie's Bott Every Flavored Bean
I totally forgot how fun this story is, the first scene in this chapter is screaming proof of this. Your talent for dialogue is exceptional. I always find it to be really fun, it's amazing for building the relationships between the characters. I thought the Quidditch scene was just great for showing a mixture of character especially James in that 'Oliver' role and Freddy/Carson in that 'Fred/George' role so obviously keep in the family. I liked that little nod, my favourite lines is '"I think I caught Meg's asthma," and "He's married," - Carson's dry sense of humour is the best!
I thought it was really great to get a lot of different characters in this chapter, we really get a look into how they fit into Carson's life. I thought you did a great job at balancing all the different parts within this chapter. It was a amazing chapter for developing characters through their dialogue which always feel so natural.
So Freddy likes Meg, that's interesting. I could totally ship them together so I'm looking forward to a bit more of those two together. I can see Carson and James in some kinda matchmaker roles, the very idea is hilarious. I do like the bond that Carson and Freddy seem to have they make very easy friends and bounce off each other really well.
I can't help feeling a bit sorry for Albus when the family are talking about how he was a disgrace to the family through his poor ability to hold his drink even though it was really funny scene! I really love the silly nature of this fic, it's just so fun to read!
- Abbi xo
For: Magical Menagerie
wait what story about oliver (or alicia?) and condoms and letters? i want to know! or judging by the postscript it's the funning story?
the whole back-and-forth between carson and james about quidditch (quodpot) was really cute, especially carson's last line, very funny!
to me, it seemed like carson really likes quidditch, so i'm not sure why she seems to cmplain about freddy (actually james) making her be on the team? is it just her default sarcastic mode?
tim the slytherin (wow that rhymes :O ) seems the least liked person by the freddy&james&louis gang, i wonder if he's really that bad? is it just because he's in slytherin? if i remember correctly, albus is in slytherin as well, but what about lily and the rest of the weasleys? are we going to meet them soon? it's cool that carson guilt tripped the boys into being nicer though i do wonder at the comment about how he's going to hurt meg :o
can i just say that the funning equals marrying joke with freddy crying from laughter into carson's shoulder is one of the, er, funniest (haha!) things i've read in a while?! poor oliver when he hears his kids talking about how they're going to fun lots of people :D and purple pygmy puffs is an adorable name for a boy band (i love thinking up names for wizarding bands, restaurants, clubs, shops).
megan seems interesting - her personality seems to work well with carson's, they're already exchanging witty remarks! but carson's line about the woods being a flying family, not a running one is pure gold!
you've introduced a lot of characters in this chapter and honestly, i'm not sure if i managed to remember them all but i'm sure i'll get the hang of all of them pretty soon. it makes sense since carson doesn't know anyone so everyone is new to her (and to us :P).
i'm excited to see how carson deals with all this new-ness with her transfer. she doesn't seem to think much about her american friends, school or home so wonder whether that's because she doesn't want to think about those or maybe she wasn't that close with anyone there.
oh a birthday party for carson! to be honest, i would've liked to see george's cake, it probably would have been something hilarious. i like how in this chapter, even though james and fred appear it's still very much centered around carson and the way she fits in and interacts with her family, especially with oliver. i'm a bit surprised at the totally laid back attitude oliver has towards her (at least in terms of offering her a cigar) but it just goes to show that their relationship has a lot of layers and sometimes it's more like friendship than the typical father - daughter relationship. carson is very fun and sarcastic and i get the feeling that a lot of that is actually her trying to sometimes disguise her true feelings, especially when it comes to her mother and her numerous stepfathers. she may appear like she's totally cool with everything but i think that in reality she's also hurt by her mother's behaviour/her way of life. i do love the fact that she manages to be happy despite her family situation (of course, it helps that oliver and alicia are great) *_*
i love carson's character - she is sassy and witty and snarky. i loved little carson in.moments like these and this teen carson is a lovely, lovable character. i'm definitely intrigued by her mother and what exactly happened for carson to come live with oliver and alicia! by the way, the family dynamic you've set up is great and it's cool t o read about a healthy relationship between a stepmother and child - alicia seems like a good mother who loves carson almost like she is her own daughter. oliver is a lucky guy! quidditch seems to permeate every part of carson's life, courtesy of her dad, and i honestly can't even see it happening any other way with what we know about oliver and his quidditch obsession. i think you wrote hom well - he is still the oliver we know, just older. this was a great introductory chapter and i'm excited to read more!
Hey Sarah! Here for the Magical Menagerie and also January RvG (Team Gold!).
Your opening scene is the perfect pick up from where I left off. Oh my goodness! I can totally believe Uncle Justin would be the one to catch him, and I love his price for his silence: a shot (or two or three, lol). He seems so cool and down to earth, and his nickname for James (Boy Toy) is so refreshingly used! Normally, it's used in a more negative context, but Uncle Justin, while teasing her as is their relationship, acknowledges that Carson doesn't need an official partner in order to have a respectable relationship. Does that make sense? He's validating her choice to have a more undefined relationship.
Dave... ah. I really appreciate him here. He's such a good ice breaker (like a polar bear). There's so much unspoken tension between Meg and Tim, I love it! I would feel so awkward if I were Carson, sensing it but then also trying to figure out how to get my bestie out of that situation! Freddy's devious picture-taking is also another great way to get Meg away!
The ending of the chapter, oh my goodness! I was really wondering what all the hubbub was all about. Turns out... people thought Freddy and Carson were dating? Lol. I mean, they do have chemistry, but not that kind of chemistry. You cleverly use this silly rumor as a way for Carson to publically acknowledge that she is, in fact, dating James (and, to clarify, not Freddy). I love how open and accepting and supportive everyone is of their relationship. I feel like this much enthusiasm and positivity is missing from friends in fics. Kudos to you for including it!
Hey Sarah! Happy Holidays! (And also RvG)
Hahahahaha! Meg's reaction to Carson's reappearance the next day is priceless. So is Carson's! You do a great job at illustrating how Meg teases Carson into telling her exactly what she wants to hear: the status of Carson's relationship with James (or maybe not exactly what she wants to hear because they only 'fell asleep'). Meg is so endearing here, and Carson is a little more forthcoming with how to feels. Love this little scene!
That Hall of Fame speech had my heart all warm and fuzzy. It's nice to see the entire Wood family together (and on stage for everyone to see? Priceless, with Justin and Carson's gestural exchange as the cameras go off). It's clear in this scene how much Carson loves her family, and I'm so glad you included this scene in this chapter (and fic overall). You should write a fic that's dedicated entirely to the Wood family going on vacation or playing family Quidditch (crashed by Uncle Justin, of course)!
I also like the interaction of the Potter-Weasley-Granger clan, too! The talk about future careers... yeah, I've definitely been there, and I love how all the kids approach it, ahahaha!
And then Carson and James's final scene together... the chemistry! I love how normal they feel with each other, despite taking their relationship to a new level. It shows how deeply rooted their friendship is and how much they like each other. I love how they continue to bond over Quidditch facts and stats and snogging! Who catches them at the end?! I gotta come back to find out!
Hey, Sarah! Here for the holiday wishlists, and I've heard so many good things about this story that of course I had to come check it out.
Okay, first of all, I love any good story that features Oliver Wood as a father, so I'm really enjoying this already. You start off with a light mood here, which is refreshing, especially since Carson's moving from her home and going to be attending Hogwarts starting her seventh year. She seems overall okay/relieved with the move, to be honest, which makes me wonder about her mom. We've gotten hints, of course -- the model career, the string of boyfriends/husbands, but I'm eager to see how this mother/daughter relationship is going to play out, and I'm hoping her mom is going to make an appearance or two in the story itself.
Can I also say that I love that Oliver's a good father? I don't know why, but it just feels refreshing to see him with his kids and his family and that he's not thinking his Quidditch career is above any of that. I also think it's different that you have him with Alicia, but I like it a lot. They seem like a good couple and I can already tell they care about each other.
I also really enjoyed how you went through some of the different homes Carson's had growing up -- the pitch, several different houses, etc. She seems to be pretty grounded despite all of that, and having a famous father, which is cool. I really enjoy her relationship with Oliver; I can tell just from this first chapter that they're close, and I'm glad she has that strong family with the Woods. But she's also kind of awkward around meeting people or people she's not comfortable with -- ie George and Freddy, so I'm very curious to see how she's going to handle going to Hogwarts. She seems confident but not overly so, at least when she's in her comfort zone.
Overall this was an excellent, light-hearted first chapter! You've introduced a lot of characters, but it didn't feel overwhelming at all, and I can appreciate Carson's humor in the narritive. I'm excited to see where this goes.
Keep up the excellent work, and congratulations on finishing the story! That's definitely a huge accomplishment ♥
Hey! Back reviewing for RvG December - Go GOLD!
I felt like this chapter further established Carson’s interpersonal relationships. The scene of Quidditch practice showed how Carson tends to complain about things but how she still works hard. And her complaining is all good fun. If it was just her, I don’t think she’d complain or voice her complaints. But her complaining, in jest, is a way she jokes around and thus bonds with others.
Good job job showing and not telling how famous Oliver Wood is. If you had Carson have an internal monologue about how famous her dad is, it wouldn’t have a big impact. But that’s not what you do. You have another character gush about Oliver Wood. It’s a good way of getting across Oliver’s fame.
And... drumroll please! Introducing: Drew - a potential love interest! With blue eyes she could gaze into forever! Later on, James puts his arm around her! I’m not sure if this is just casual friendship or the start of something at this point. Maybe both?
Sarahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I had to wait to review this until I could form coherent sentences, but I am SO PROUD OF YOU for finishing this thing, even though I’m so sad I won’t have any Home updates to look forward to anymore. (Although, like, Maeve the baker/Louis the law student AU really needs to happen.) This story is incredible and all of your characters have felt so real and relatable and I’ve been so invested in this story throughout.
I have to say, this is really the perfect ending - it’s so fluffy and happy, which is very much how I like my pics, hehe. Carson’s Got Ya party just brings all the storylines together, and really cements the whole theme of the story in that she’s really found a home in more ways than one. I will forever love your take on dad-Oliver and his sense of humour.
I love that James ended up at Puddlemere and that he made his decision entirely independently of Carson’s job. The fact that he’s getting trained to death is totally expected, and it’s so in character that Freddy and Carson would be giving him hell for it.
I’m so happy that Meg and Freddy are happy together as well, and they seem to be moving along pretty quickly - Freddy’s comment about no surprises and Meg being his best friend was absolutely adorable. And Meg’s pickiness about her apartment (aka island vs peninsula, which is a very important debate honestly) does not surprise me one bit.
The grad school line with Lou and Maeve is so true - all my friends currently in grad school are just like that, lol.
The last scene was just the perfect thing to end on, with Carson being so comfortable with Oliver and Alicia and her half-siblings (her new family!), and James fitting into all of that perfectly. And THAT LAST LINE. IT WAS SO GOOD AND BROUGHT EVERYTHING FULL CIRCLE AND BACK TO THE TITLE OF THE STORY AND IT WAS DELIGHTFUL.
Anyways, moral of the story: you are amazing, this story is amazing, I am so sad that Home is over but I cannot wait to continue to binge read everything you ever write ever. <3
I’m sure you hear this a lot, but the “please don’t be filled with condoms” thing is really funny. And that James chokes on his bacon and everyone else’s reactions really add to the hilarity. I also think it shows how comfortable Carson is with her dad and Alicia. Although I suppose it also shows that she’s comfortable with casual sex, or at least joking about it.
Your wit never ceases to amaze me. You should give a tutorial! “My Mom says it’s cute!” “Probably to get you to stop doing it.”
I appreciate The Office reference. I like it when authors sprinkle in some Muggle/RL pop culture.
I’m glad Carson got on the boys’ case about being mean to Tim. Carson probably doesn’t fully understand the House rivalry, but still. It’s nice, and it shows her courage to stand up to friends she just made and her conviction of what’s right and wrong.
And again, I’m sorry, but I’m overwhelmed by the number of characters in this chapter. It’s like I want to get used to the ones introduced last chapter but more were introduced in this chapter. But other than that, good job!
Alwynse for RvG November- Go GOLD!
Thats it! What about a sequel?
Tasha back for the November RvG - go Red!
This is honestly one of my new favourite stories. I adore Carson! She cracked me up the whole way through this and I adore her teasing Oliver. I haven't laughed this much at a story for ages. I like how they're both a little afraid of Alicia!
“Oliver,” Uncle George says. “I’m dead serious, I’ll offer you Fred as a son-in-law right now—“ - this was gold. I can literally hear that coming out of George's mouth. I wonder, if maybe Carson and Freddie might end up together. I'm also looking forward to seeing your interpretation of Fred and James too.
I also really feel sorry for Carson, especially numbering all her step-fathers. It seems that despite her sense of humour - sarcastic, which is my favourite - she's had it pretty rough. Though, at least she liked one of them I guess. I really want to know what happened to her when she was in the States with her mum, and seeing how she reacts to life at Hogwarts rather than her other school.
I love that Neville is assistant Head - I mean, could anyone foresee that happening during those first few years!
Tasha here for the November RvG reviews.
I love stories that involve Oliver Wood. I always thought he was really funny during the books, so I do enjoy seeing him crop up - there should be more stories about him.
Anyway, that opening chapter was realllllly well done. I read a lot about awful divorces and custody battles, but this felt very real and let's face it, quite possibly exactly how it's done in the magical world. Her mother seems like quite a bit of work, seeming constantly annoyed that Carson wasn't more like her. I'm looking forward to finding out more about Carson's life before Oliver got custody. It seems like there was a pretty significant event that made it finally happen.
I really loved your description of Parker: At age 10, he’s already exactly like Dad. He’s very competitive, very determined, and relatively unreasonable when you tell him he’s wrong. Pretty fun to wind up, though. - exactly how I picture Oliver!
I loved Carson's relationship with her dad. They have a really good banter and have a similar sense of humour, which is brilliant. I loved George's quip:
“Such love,” Uncle George says. “Nice to know you treat your children the same way you treated your Quidditch team.”
That had me cracking up!
I'm looking forward to reading more of this and finding out what adventures she gets up to at Hogwarts!
"It's just not going to be the same." "Yeah, it'll be better." Such a witty family. But I'm happy that Carson gets some good mom-time with Alicia. Though Carson doesn't say anything, I can tell she's touched by Alicia tearing up.
"Plenty of guys to fun." Nice save, Carson. I love her slips and how she tries to mend it. And the innocent kids in the mix makes it adorable and funny. And then later she tells Oliver, "Remember you love me!" haha.
So... I mentioned in my review for chapter 1 that I originally thought the main pairing would be Freddy/Carson. Just curious, did Freddy ever like Carson, or was his touchy feeling behavior just Freddy being Freddy?
Okay okay, since I've read most of this story, I know the "I'm not your brother-in-law!" joke, and I LOVE it. You build it, chapter after chapter, and then ! ... well. You climax the joke and it's fabulous! I'll be sure to mention it when I review that chapter.
You have so many good lines... maybe next chapter I'll start listing my favorites. But I love, "It's a little too soon for the L word."
My one crit is that I feel like you introduce too many characters in this chapter. You introduced a fair few in chapters 1 and 2, but most of them were canon characters. In this chapter, with the exception of canon Louis, there's Liam, Dan, Megan, Maeve, Vero, and Lizzie who are all introduced. When I read this story the first time, I remember getting confused.
But other than that, your story's still going strong. Carson's character is awesome, per usual.
Alwynse for RvG November - Go GOLD!
I don't know why, but I really like this interaction:
""Ok, yeah," she nods, looking a little spaced out. "That--that's a good idea."
She doesn't move, so I give her a little push. "Go!" I hear her laughing as we both walk away."
I think... there's something so realistic about it that I like. It's important in writing to keep things realistic: realistic consequences to actions and behaviors is a biggie, but also realistic ineractions and dialogue. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I think it's in that ballpark.
Aaaaand, ladies and gentlemen, would you please lift your hands to welcome JAAAAMES POTTER! Woot woot! I love how James enters the story and scene. Literally enters. I know there's nothing special about it, but I like it. Or maybe... it's how James and Freddy enter together. Yes, I think that's it. They head right in and go straight for Carson. Yup, it's that confidence that I like. And the chill, cool, laid-back vibe between Freddy and James.
But before that, Carson's conversation with her siblings while making the sangria is so precious. She's so blunt about her mother and how her mom was, well, a bad mom. Of course, we learn later in the story Carson does have problems from her mom's behavior. But in the meantime, how she jokes about it is really funny!
I love how you let the reader in on the inside jokes between the adults of Harry's generation, but how Carson is left out. "That's an awful lot of attitude for someone I allowed to marry my sister." My goodness... with those few lines, you give me a whole mental picture of all the Weasley brothers, minus Percy, giving Harry a hard time over the years. Hahaha.
And don't even get me started on how Carson numbers her dads! How did you come up with that? I'm astounded by how your brain comes up with funny things. My brain does not work that way. And I really wish it could.
Harry: "Is this what I have to look forward to?"
George: "I'm dead serious, I'll offer you Fred as a son-in-law right now--"
I just... love your sense of humor. This comment will probably be reoccuring in future reviews.
Alwynse. RvG November. Go GOLD!