Name: pookha (Signed) · Date: 13 Nov 2020 12:19 AM · For: Glenda. Her name was Glenda.

Here with a 2nd review as promised. I knew I had to review the story with the Judas Priest song title in it. (I see Smashing Pumpkins, too, but they're not my jam; doesn't mean the story won't be, though).

 

Strangely, the book at the end that James wants to give Lily reminds me of the Voynich manuscript. That seems like something they would all be interested in.

 

This was super funny and I really enjoyed seeing the typical Marauder's prank from a different POV than normal. It was good to see Sirius messing with his brother and Travers all while trying to get back to the dorm.

 

I feel like I could learn a lot from you about description and being able to close your eyes and see the scene. You do it well without becoming Anne Rice, if you get my meaning.

 

I also really like the way that Sirius is worried about James and how much of his energy that James is spending trying to woo Lily. 

 

The double-date/not date with the Muggle friend was great and you can see the typical uncomfortableness of this situation. 

 

I really enjoyed this. It was super.

Name: Levana (Signed) · Date: 10 Mar 2018 09:57 PM · For: Glenda. Her name was Glenda.

Hey, Dan!

 

Hmm, where to start – aside from throwing ALL THE PRAISE AT YOU! Honestly, this feels like one of the most in character teenage Sirius portrayals I’ve read. You wrote that troublesome, rebellious teenager personality that he has perfectly. What he changed the Black family crest to is the most Sirius thing ever – I can’t say what it was, but you know anyway. It had me laughing, I could picture it in my head so well. I also love that Remus helped him transfigure it 😊

 

And while I’m on the topic of laughing: Sirius thinking about how he needs to ask the Hufflepuff girl how to brew that potion that she’d shared with him. The fact that he can’t remember her name is also just completely in character. Oh Sirius…. (okay, but I love him).

 

Gotta say, if I were an Animagus I might also be tempted to transform just to scare Mrs. Norris. Can’t Blame Sirius for wanting to do that, but I also love the show of his character here. His love for his friends outweighs his desire to cause trouble and give Mrs. Norris – it really shows who he is as a person. Like, yeah, he loves to cause trouble -  but his friends will always come first to him

 

(on that note [a little bit of a fast forward to later]: he shows that level of caring when he’s talking to James)

 

Oh my gosh, the part with Joy! I can… see why James wouldn’t talk to Sirius after that. But it was still so funny. Also, Joy gave Sirius her phone number, but he has no idea what to do with it! I’m crying, I’m laughing so much. Of course, he wouldn’t know what to do with it, considering his family, but it’s still so funny to read that.

 

Annnnd we have Sirius eavesdropping on Regulus (Ickle Regulus, haha) and Travers. Again, a very much Sirius thing to do. This whole next part with Regulus and Travers trying (and failing spectacularly) to find the Chamber of Secrets was just so funny. Also, gotta praise Sirius’ ingenuity here with how to trick them, because that was just perfect. Honestly.

 

Also, the fact that Regulus and Travers are falling for this. I can see falling for it the first two times since it says, “Sons of Slytherin. The End of Your Quest Is Near,” but the third time Sirius has the words say, “WHO DARES PROFANE MY CHAMBER? I DID NOT ASK FOR A SACRIFICE OF BOGIES!” That seems a bit less realistic and it’s so funny that they’re still falling for that!!!! Just when I thought it couldn’t be funnier, Sirius has them singing the Hogwarts School song and then they get caught by Filch. Oh man, this is so funny. The wall cracked too!!! This is just too funny, I love it.  

Time for Sirius and James friendship!!!! I love them. I love this part. Like I mentioned (briefly) before, this really shows who Sirius is as a person. He doesn’t want James to pursue Lily because he doesn’t like how it makes James act all responsible and what not, but instead of saying that he encourages James not to give up. THAT’S TRUE FRIENDSHIP, THAT IS!!!

 

(He doesn’t like sad, dejected James. Which, who likes to see their best friend being all sad???? No one.)

 

Well, there goes all the nice things I said about Sirius (I’m kidding, mostly). But, omg that ending. I want to say, “I can’t believe Sirius did that!” but at the same time I can totally see Sirius doing that – because he’s a prankster at heart. It’s just who he is.

 

Alright, so I definitely love Sirius. I thought you did an excellent job writing him (which, I mean, you probably know this from the rest of my review). The story definitely makes sense and holds together well and it’s compelling. The humor was perfect. Like it wasn’t over the top cheesy, but it also pretty much had me laughing the whole time. I loved it.

 

I’m glad you had me read this because I really enjoyed it!

 

~Maggie

Author's Response:

Hi, Maggie! Thank you for opening up your reviewing thread to the community. It's a wonderful thing you're doing, offering your time and insight.

My main motivation for this story was to show Sirius at a happier time in his life. In the books, we see an older, wearier version of the character. He's scarred by loss and he's been pretty severely affect by his time in Azkaban. I was also beta-reading for a story where Sirius had just lost the love of his life. I needed a break from sad, serious Sirius. (pun intended)

I'm very glad you picked up on the friendship aspect of the story. It's always a major theme when I write Sirius. He is immensely loyal, but that loyalty can take interesting twists. In this story, he's very loyal to James, but also loyal to an idealized vision of the friend James has always been to him. He's reluctant to give up that version of James, even as James is growing up and starting to focus on other things, such as Lily.

I'm really pleased that you liked the story. This one was a lot of fun to write.

Thank you again for the offer!

-Dan 

Name: StarFeather (Anonymous) · Date: 24 Jul 2017 11:58 PM · For: Glenda. Her name was Glenda.

Transferred from HPFF back to

 

17th September 2015:

 

Hi, Dan. Congrats, starting your new story!

 

Ha, ha, ha ,naughty boy,Sirius. James will be involved in a quarrel including knickers.. I really enjoy your new story from the start:

 

1. You set Sirius and his brother Regulus. I have expectation how their relationship will go. How the situation around the Death Eaters and Voldemort will enter. It's very intriguing.

 

2. The friendship between James and Sirius. He wanted his mate to be happy with Lily but he doesn't want to lose him, the complicated feeling.

 

3. I enjoyed the song " Living after midnight" with Sirius . The contrast with Mozart's Requiem with two Slytherin pure-blood believers is interesting.

 

I really like you focused on his animagus ability. This is the second time for me to read Sirius in his animagus form and acts. I think you did a great job on it, too.

 

Kenny

Name: dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap (Signed) · Date: 10 May 2017 06:04 PM · For: Glenda. Her name was Glenda.

Review transferred from HPFF -

 

First, however, he’d need to remember her name. Genevieve? Gwendolyn? Why did witches always have to have such complicated names?

Seriously? You know what’s really funny? I went on a job interview today and for the life of me I could not remember the guys name. I spoke to him for almost an hour, great conversation, but didn’t know his name for the entire time. Why do people have to have such hard names? Or mumble when they say it? Haha. 

Still doesn’t fly with me that Sirius doesn’t know her name though. I hate that about guys. A guy hits on you, can spend twenty minutes talking to you and then breezily go, what’s your name again? 

Walk away dude. Walk away. 

After he calmed down, Sirius had to admit that they looked better tight.

Sirius almost makes me hate him. He really does. I have a love-hate relationship with him because he really is such a dog. 

I should probably blame the hormones, shouldn’t I?

Some poncey ballad about being the champions of the world or something like that.

Hey now, Sirius! I’ve had many fun times listening to this song in seedy bars and cheering with a drink in my hand. 

“Well you could have warned me that you have a cold,” Regulus responded weakly, looking equal parts embarrassed and dejected.

HAHA! These two. Dumb and dumber. 

Dan, Dan, Dan, you’ve done it again. I was thoroughly amused from the beginning to end. Sirius in his younger years is always fun to read about. As much as I enjoyed Regulus and Travers I liked the ending too with James and Sirius. Friendship is funny, isn’t it? You can root for your friend but give them a little hell along the way for your amusement. Lord knows I’ve done that every now and then.