Reviews For One, Two, Three, Open


Name: pookha (Signed) · Date: 24 Aug 2019 12:45 AM · For: Chapter 1

 

Review for the review event. "Story with a number in the title."

 

I like the nod to drapple in the opening. It's a classic Draco trope and it's funny to see here, immediately.

I really like the glimpses of a coming reformed Draco we see here. He knows he's been set an impossible task and he tries to make the best of it, by trapping the Death Eaters and going to Dumbledore. 

 

I like the hints of what could be a Draco/Harry coming up, with him realizing that Harry isn't what Draco thought. Or, I could be reading into this :)

 

Well written and leaves the reader wanting more. It's quite believable that Draco would be able to fix the cabinet like you said and that he would use his family connections to threaten Borgin with Greyback. I also like that Draco was concerned about Greyback in the castle especially, even more than Bellatrix.

I've always wondered about why the twins sold Draco the powder and didn't just kick him out. Sometimes, I think, greed wins out with the twins. You do a good job here of showing them being suspicious, but not saying anything.

 



Name: cambangst (Signed) · Date: 01 Jul 2018 08:32 AM · For: Chapter 1

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Hi, there! I'm here from the Review Tag thread on HPFT!

 

I love a good, in-character Draco Malfoy story. He's one of JKR's most interesting exercises in character development, going from a disposable antagonist and punching bag in the early books to a very nuanced and complex study in regret by the end.

 

I didn't pick up on the AU label at first, so I was definitely a little surprised when the plot started to twist near the end. Looking back on the whole piece, I'm curious as to whether you've ever thought of this as the first chapter of a longer story rather than a one-shot. There are interesting places this could go. Most stories that show Draco "breaking good" have him changing his allegiance earlier. This would be a very different plot twist. He's been part of the Death Eaters for longer. He knows more things. Something to think about.

 

I liked the way you threaded Snape's potions book into the story. It's our first entree to his thoughts about Harry, which are still quite negative at that point.

 

This sentence read strangely to me:

 

It was as though Borgin & Burkes was formally announcing who they were supporting, in the hopes that the Ministry would've ever show up and decide to walk in.

I wasn't sure how to parse the last clause. Did you mean to say, "in the hopes that the Ministry wouldn't ever show up"?

 

I thought you did a good job of slowly developing Draco's new plan. Letting the reader guess what he was playing at. You added in the pieces one by one.

 

As far as Draco's visit to WWW, I had a bit of a tough time with that. He's very recognizable. That would have worked easier for me if he'd taken measures to disguise himself, and if it had been Verity at the till instead of Fred.

 

"As he said this, Draco thought, I'll be getting to Dumbledore, but not in the way you expect." -- Ooh! Chills!

 

He kills Greyback! Awesome. Go, Draco!

 

And then we come to the cliff-hanger. Except it isn't, because this is the end. Can it not be the end? Please?

 

Neat idea. I really enjoyed reading it!

 

-Dan



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