Name: PinsandKneazles (Signed) · Date: 21 May 2022 10:39 AM · For: Chapter 1

Hey Chiara, here for a tag review (if no-one jumps in first, otherwise here for a review ;)  )

 

Let me start by saying WHOA, THIS IS AMAZING!! I love the cyclical nature of the two verses, how one links into the other and back again, the descriptions, sentence construction, theme, every goddam thing. It's such a clever, beautiful piece of writing. <3 What is life without love, but what is love if you don't live?

 

What images and sounds this poem evokes. Is life circular like a carousel; does it run from a to b like a path; what if it's neither and it's a dance which doesn't go anywhere in particular? Or is it something which stirs from within, like music? Music that isn't always in tune, with a decidedly dodgy rhythm. And at what point do we say 'enough of this badly-choreographed dance, I want something new'? There's so many layers to this profound piece; I could be delving through for hours. It's the sort of piece I'd read over and over, and find different meanings in every time. 

 

You should write more poetry. You have a real talent for it <3

 

Meera <3

 

 

Author's Response:

Hi, Meera! :D

Back again to catch up with a few unanswered reviews (and for the August forum challenge, while I'm at it... :P)

Thank you so much for this wonderful review! <3 I'm so glad you liked the theme of this little poem, and its cyclical structure and all the images and descriptions! You need love to live at the fullest, and you need to enjoy life to be able to love...

"And at what point do we say 'enough of this badly-choreographed dance, I want something new'?" That's the question, right? I love all your thoughts and interpretations of this, and I'm so glad this poem resonated with you! <3

Thank you so much!!! <3 <3 <3

Name: sibilant (Signed) · Date: 06 Jul 2019 01:57 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hi Chiara!! I’m here with your requested review and oh man, I’m so excited to read this poem. As you know, poetry is one of my absolute favorite things and I love reading other HPFTers’ poetry! 

 

This poem touched me in my heart so much. I think the best way to describe how I feel right now is full. I feel like you’ve touched upon some incredibly universal and painful feelings, and I loved how you used imagery to evoke those feelings. Your use of imagery is actually what I’m most stuck on in this poem because you selected a few images that are really interesting to me, so I’m going to analyze a few of them (and then you’ll get the peek into my poet brain that you never asked for lol :P)

 

I was struck by how you compared life to a carousel, path, and dance simultaneously, because all three of things feel rather different to me. I was thinking about it more, and all of these things have a certain repetitive nature to them. A carousel is cyclical, repetitive, reliable—but also associated with childhood. A path feels more like a linear representation of life, but a path could also be winding and repetitive. A dance is creative, but often features repetition—I wonder if you were thinking of a specific style of dance in particular?

 

I loved the way you described internal conflict in this poem. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a better description of it—like normally your mind and heart are in this perfect symphony, but then sometimes there’s this note out of key. I love all the emotional depth captured in that image. I also really loved how the tone shifted wildly in the second half of that stanza—there was less of a repetitive cadence to it and it became freer and bolder—only to return back to that repetitive cadence in the next stanza. That I feel is also reflective of life—which makes me love this poem all the more! I think it’s really neat when the form of a poem and the sound/rhythm of it reflect the content. (I think that’s technically called acrostic).

 

I had similar feelings about “a dream, a hand, a smile” in the second stanza as I did about “a carousel, a path, a dance” in the first stanza. But I feel like this trio is more inherently connected; all three make me feel hopeful and joyful, which I think is very fitting for a stanza about love! This stanza features my favorite line in the entire poem: “the embrace of the wave when the sea is storming.” First off, the imagery of that line is amazing—it’s such a powerfully evocative image. But also, I feel like it’s courage in a single image. The whole world is trying to wash you away and rather than stepping away from it, you step into it. And I love the idea that courage is something you need for both love and life.

 

I think I’ll be think about this poem for a long time to come! Thank you so much for sharing it, and for requesting a review! 

 

<3 Shreya

Author's Response:

Shreya! Hello, darling! <3

I knew you loved poetry, so I was really excited for your thoughts on this! <3

I'm so glad this touched you and that the images helped convey the feelings. That's what I was going for, I guess?

Yes, they are three very different things, but I think life can have aspects of all? Repetitiveness was definitely a theme there, but life is also growing up and moving on (the path) and it's also joyous moments and unexpected events (the dance). I guess there is a common thread of repetition in all three, though. And no, I didn't really have a specific kind of dance in mind... maybe ballet?

I'm so glad you liked the description of internal conflict, the note out of key... and... I don't think the shift of rhythm was done on purpose exactly? But I love your reading of it!

There is a simmetry between the two stanzas, obviously. But yes, the images for love are more connected and joyful. I do love that line, too. And yes, life and love both require courage in some ways.

Thank you so much for your lovely and detailed review! It was so interesting reading your thoughts! <3

Snowball hug,

Chiara

Name: Downlow (Signed) · Date: 12 Feb 2019 01:36 AM · For: Chapter 1

This is an amazing poem! I myself write some (Have one on here as well) but they pale in comparison to yours. Sentence construction talent of yours is amazing! I love how you've started off morbidly to come to the conclusion. It's amazing!

 

This is not what I was going to review for the swap. Just got distracted. And I'm glad.

Author's Response:

Hello! :)

Thank you so much for the extra review, and sorry it took me so long to reply...

I'm so glad you liked the poem and my writing style in it! I'm sure your poems are wonderful, too! *hug*

Thank you so much again for stopping here!

Love,

Chiara

Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 03 Jul 2018 07:24 PM · For: Chapter 1

Chiara, this is beautiful. How are you so talented?? I am in awe. Your DESCRIPTIONS. They’re honestly jaw-dropping. Like, they’re abstract but so evocative of images and feelings and colours, it’s absolutely perfect. The line about clouds? And the one about uncertain steps to music? Incredible. <3

One thing that really stood out to me is the way the first stanza leads into the second, and then the end of the second one ties back into the first, giving the impression of being stuck, going in a circle, and that fits so well with the theme of the material (at least the way I interpreted it). (Also, the way it feeds right back into itself makes this poem the literary equivalent of a Moebius strip, I see you there :P ) Anyway, to me, and maybe this is just my own lens coming into play here, but it definitely evokes feelings of loneliness and searching, of seeing the beauty of the world but feeling like you’re on the outside looking in. (In that, I actually see a lot of similarities theme-wise between this and ‘From’, which is possibly why I relate to it so much haha) It’s a very thoughtful piece, poignant, and honestly so wonderful. I’m amazed by how much you said in so few words. Thank you for sharing it with all of us. <3 And good luck in the Chalices!

Author's Response:

KRISTIN!!! <3 <3 <3

First of all, let me tell you (since I didn't before...) that I think it's such a nice thing of you to review every single nom for the Chalices! You are the most generous person I know and I love you so much!!!

Second... I'm so, so glad this poem touched you! It means so much to me that you found my descriptions beautiful, even if they are mostly abstract images.

I wanted this to be kind of an eternal cycle from life to love and back again... I love that you compared this to a Moebius strip! (Yes, you know me too well... :P) I think the theme of this is actually very close of what you wrote in From, and there is definitely a sense of loneliness and searching in it (you know how much I loved From and how much it resonated with me as well...)

Thank you so much with one more absolutely wonderful review! You are the bestest and I love you so much!

Chiara

Name: MuggleMaybe (Signed) · Date: 05 May 2018 02:29 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hello darling!! <33

 

I can't believe I failed to review this earlier, but I'm here now. And it's beautiful. I wish I could read the Italian version, too.

 

I'm kind of rubbish at reviewing poetry but I will do my very best because you so deserve it!

 

There are a lot of lovely details in this. I love the phrase "a carousel, a path, a dance" in the first line. A carousel for circularity, for the repetition of things, for life cycles. A path for aging, for moving forward. And a dance for creativity, for being what be make of it and holding the joy we fare to give it, in the way that a dance depends on the courage of the dancer to create - and also on the music, the outside forces that move us. And having them all together is like saying it's all of those things at the same time, which feels very true and beautiful and complex. You know?

 

The rest of the first stanza made me think about two things. One was depression, and that terrible doubt I think most people experience at one time or another over the purpose of life. (And that brings me back to the carousel analogy.) At the same time, it made it think of wanderlust and the sadness of having to make choices about our lives at the exclusion of other possibilities. And that connects with the path, and the idea of taking one path and not knowing where the others wul dave led, and wishing we could know. I hope that makes some kind of sense =P

 

Also it breaks my heart that you included "a safe place" in the list of things to look for because I hate that so many people don't have that. But it's absolutely true and I'm glad you said it.

 

The repeating structure in the first lines is so cool, and how the idea cycles around from life to love and back. We could follow this cycle forever - and if we did, there would be many worse ways to approach life. Also, I like how the answers to "what is love?" are so much more still and detail-oriented, because it makes me think how love is in thse little moments. And how hard it is to balance between savouring those little moments of love and celebrating the forward mmentum of life at the same time. 

 

THERE IS JUST SO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT IN THIS HOLY BUCKETS <3333

 

Ugh. I am all filled up with feelings now because this is honestly even more profound than I originally thought when I started writing this review. 

 

You have a talent for poetry, dear!

 

much love!

Renee

Author's Response:

Renee! Omg, I love this review so much! Honestly, you notice so many things and bring up so many points that I didn't even realize were there... you are awesome! (Btw, sorry for replying so late to this...)

I think that's exactly what I was trying to say with the "a carousel, a path, a dance" line. Life is all of those things at the same time and I think you expressed it so well.

I was definitely talking about the doubt over the purpose of life, which is something I honestly feel often. But I think your other interpretation, about chosing a path over another and wondering where we would have been if we'd gone the other way is totally valid, too. And yes, it made a lot of sense. *hug*

I was thinking of "a safe place" in a more abstract, emotional way... but it is terrible to think that there are many people who don't physically have a home or a place where they could feel safe... the world is such a cruel place at times... :(

it makes me think how love is in thse little moments. And how hard it is to balance between savouring those little moments of love and celebrating the forward mmentum of life at the same time. Omg, I love this so much! I love your thoughts about this poem so much! And I love you!

Thank you so, so, so much for this incredible review! You made my day a thousand times!

So much love and hugs, my dear!

Chiara

Name: Renacera (Signed) · Date: 02 May 2018 02:55 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hello darling Chiara!

This was so lovely and I'm so glad I found it to review!

First off, I think it's important to say that I completely understand these feelings and you did such a good job of portraying them. I know the sensation of creeping anxiety and FOMO — Fear of Missing Out. But then when you're so anxious that you actually can't participate in certain things because you're too stressed. Which then makes you stress even more!

I've grappled with anxiety and depression since I was very young, and I really connected to the lines, "Maybe you're missing something: that will to rejoice, to jump, to fly." Because I've felt like that often. And then the line, "the embrace of the wave when the sea is storming" really, really resonated with me. This was just beautifully written.

Honestly, you do such a good job of capturing your/the "author's" feelings here, and I love it. It's so well-written, and I'm glad to have found it.

Thanks dear, and I hope there are more sunny days than cloudy ones in your future. <3

Best,
Emily

Author's Response:

Emily! Hello, dear, and sorry for taking so long with this reply!

Oh, I'm so glad this poem touched you and that you could relate to what I was trying to say. (Of course what I mean is that I'm glad my writing resonated with you, I'm so sorry you have to deal with anxiety and depression and that you are familiar with all these feelings...)

Yes, there is this vicious circle in which you really want to take part in things but then it's just too much for you to handle and it only makes it harder to find the will/strenght/energy/whatever to participate in things... And it is truly stressful... Like, you want to find an equilibrium, but the more you look for it, the more it seems to escape you... am I even making sense?

Thank you so, so, so much! And I hope your life is just as brilliant and beautiful, too!

So many hugs,

Chiara

Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 08 Apr 2018 08:13 PM · For: Chapter 1

Oh, my goodness, Chiara, this beautiful, beautiful poem touched me to the very bottom of my heart. With everything you choose to publish, I just love your writing more and more and more, until I think I can’t possibly adore you more than I do, but then you manage to surpass yourself with the next one.

 

This might sound a bit strange, since I don’t understand a word of Italian, but would it be possible for you to send the original one to me? Already, the English translation is so beautiful, but I just want to see what it might look like in your native language. Meeting you has made me wish I could understand Italian, so that I might be able to read any future original works of yours haha. Anyway, you definitely don’t have to send me the original if you’re uncomfortable with that, I was just super curious to see how you write in Italian. <3

 

(And maybe I’ll learn some Italian, too, haha.)

 

I am being entirely truthful when I say that while reading this poem, emotion welled up in my throat until I could barely speak. There’s something about this poem that is just so universal, so pure in thought and emotion, that just really speaks to me. The first two lines especially are so beautifully written, and I can’t get over how they make me feel-- “But what is life? A carousel, a path, a dance; / Music which vibrates from inside, synchrony of mind and heart.”

 

I absolutely love the parallelism between the two stanzas and how it flows in a continuous circle between the two. This line that repeats-- “does it all make sense? Is it worth to keep dreaming?” --makes me feel hopeless and hopeful at the same time, and omg Chiara I don’t have the words to tell you how much I love this. If I could, I would give it a hundred stars. I have so much love for this.

 

So much love to you. <3

 

~Eva

Author's Response:

Eva! <3

Aww, you make me blush... I'm so glad this poem touched you!

Honestly, I never really know how to reply to reviews on my poems... but, yeah, I'm just happy that this resonated with you and that you liked the metaphores in it.

I love parallelism and circularity, so I'm glad you liked that aspect. And the fact that you felt both hopeless and hopeful makes me so happy because that's exactly the feeling I was trying to convey.

Thank you so much for your review, it made me so happy!

Lots of love to you,

Chiara

Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 08 Apr 2018 02:30 AM · For: Chapter 1

WHAT. EXCUSE ME. WHAT. 

 

How dare you hide this from me for months?! Chiara, I loved this! I don't even know where to start! Mostly, I think it's that I can relate to this. I understand what you're trying to say and I've been through it. Life is fragile enough as it is, but even the smallest things can rattle us and make us question ourselves, which is what I think you're trying to say in the first verse (which is my favourite, by the way.) 

 

I love the way the poem is a circle. I love the repitition. I wish I could say more but I'm still drinking it in. Please write more like this and never keep something like this away from me again :P 

 

I love you, you talented being!

Author's Response:

Ah, B... I'm sorry... but posting personal stuff, like poems, is never easy, and I wrote this in Italian, so translating it was a bit of a struggle... well, anyway it's here now, right?

I think you can guess that I wrote this in a bit of a low moment... and well, sometimes I just can't help but wondering about the purpose of my life and what I'm doing and where I'm going and is it really worth to keep running the way we do everyday...?

I really love circles and repetitions and I'm happy that you enjoyed this about the poem.

Thank you so much for your lovely review!

Love thee, little B! <3