Name: Renacera (Signed) · Date: 07 Apr 2019 08:46 PM · For: Moonlight

Hello there!

So, I came across this story while searching through 'Puff-written dramas! I'm not a huge fan of Ron/Hermione, but the summary interested me, and I'm really glad I took the time to read this!

This story is so original! I've never seen anything quite like it, and that makes me super happy. I've been a part of the HP fandom for over a decade, so completely original ideas aren't too common, haha. But this was, and I like that a lot.

I think your plot is great. I can completely see how this scene would play out in canon, and I love that it integrates so well into the story we know. Since the books follow Harry, it leaves a lot to be explored with what the other characters were doing when they weren't around him.

I love that you've chosen Ron as the one who wanted to tell Hermione of his feelings, instead of the other way around. It was really sweet that he was finally ready to admit that...but also so sad with what she had to do.

I completely believe that Hermione would put Harry's mission and the war above her feelings, even if it hurt her to do so. This was such a clever way to show her dedication to helping Harry and "saving the world," so to say.

The only constructive criticism I might offer would be to read the dialogue aloud to make sure it all sounds natural. :)  There were a few places where things sounded a bit stilted or overly formal, rather than easily flowing together.

Overall, really good job!

Best,
Emily

Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 13 Aug 2018 01:47 AM · For: Moonlight

Oh my god this one-shot did not go the way I was expecting it to go. At first I clicked on this story with a smile, thinking that it would be a cute, fluffy Romione one-shot. I hadn’t read Romione in a while so I was really excited to see where this one would go! Romione is one of my favorite ships, and it’s a shame that I don’t read them more often.

 

When Ron was admiring how pretty Hermione was in the Common Room, my heart warmed a whole lot. I like how much he likes her features, and he doesn’t want her to change anything about the way she looks. He just likes her. It was really sweet of him to ask her to go on a walk with him in the moonlight. And when he confessed to Hermione, I was expecting a cute response of some sort.

 

But you totally surprised me omg. I was not expecting Hermione to pull her wand out and Obliviate him. In some ways, that terrifies me a little, because imagine the things she could do to people if she kept Obliviating them without their permission. Like, it’s not a very good thing to do. I know she Obliviated her parents later on, but that’s a moral dilemma for another time. In this instance, I don’t see much of a reason for why she would have to wipe Ron’s memory? It wasn’t like he heard some top-secret information or anything.

 

Anyway. Is this the start of Lavender and Ron’s attraction to each other? Hehe.

 

Fun one-shot! I liked the twist. :)

 

Love,

Eva

 

[This review was left for Quodpot, for the category “chapters with zero reviews on them.”]