Name: Predictable Chaos (Signed) · Date: 19 Feb 2023 02:08 AM · For: Chapter 1: The Pale Steed

Hi, I'm here for the FFT Fest Review

 

Interesting story. The Percival Brothers certainly had more vices that I had considered although they were at least suggested in the original story. You did a nice job looking at how their vices have influenced them. I'm curious about Ignoatus. I always viewed him as the reasonable brother, but he embued Death's least favorite of the sins: pride.

 

I feel like this was just the beginning. If you ever finish it, I'd be interested to see where you take it and what happens to the brothers. 

Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 11 Dec 2018 09:57 PM · For: Introduction

Chelts,

I'm surprised this didn't have any reviews. It's very good!

First, Death is a she? Is there a reason you picked that particular pronoun. Perhaps as a warning to all men or just the men in this story?

Second, I love the beginning as you describe the 7 deadly sins. They are so descriptive with just enough to give the reader a great image without dwelling too long. My favorite is greed: "sly sin, tucked into corners of smiles and lurking in the subtle tones of a promise. It was exchanged in back alleyways, accompanied by the clinking of a coin, all too similar to the scurrying of rats. It smelled of sewage." I love your choice of language--really excellent writing.

The three brothers were a great choice of characters because we know so little about them but what little we can infer from Beetle Bard, you did a nice job expanding upon and setting up the family dynamics of the three with the "why were you born?" question. It appears as if the brothers have experienced most (if not all) of those deadly sins themselves which is, of course, why Death will keep tabs on them.  

Great job! Are you planning on finishing the story?

Author's Response:

I feel like many people imagine death being this creepy old sinister man, and I like the idea of the human race in general just being completely wrong. There’s more to her character actually, and hopefully, if I ever finish Stand Tall I’ll revisit this. I really liked the ideas I had, but I feel like I’ve lost some of the skill I used to have. ☹️