I really like how you begin this story. You get a lot of information in very naturally - that the girls are moving in with their aunt, that she has clearly been a part of their lives and they appear to respect her as they talk about how she encouraged them to question things, that the two girls aren't close to each other and that they appear to be stressed and/or unhappy.
It also seems that Minerva has something to reveal to them and that, perhaps, they might not like it as she seems to be reluctant to tell them whatever it is.
That part about Elizabeth being the only person Evelyn has left now is so sad, particularly when they aren't particularly close. Something like that could well bring them closer.
I wonder what she is asking about when she asks if it will hurt. It must be something quite uncommon if even Minerva cannot answer her as I doubt there's much she doesn't know.
Ah, it seems to be about removing their memories. Whatever happened that night was clearly very traumatic. I am assuming their parents were killed but even that alone does not seem to account for what is taking place here as many people died in the Harry Potter series and they never suggested doing this for anybody so I am guessing there is something particularly upsetting here. Either that or the girls have found it particularly hard to deal with.
I love this line: "She wanted to be rid of the dreams, which had turned to nightmares, and the memories, which had turned to bogs." There's something really emotive about it, something that seems to really capture how she feels.
And I like the part where she asks what the point of being magic is if she can't do this. She seems to be relying on "being magic" to fix everything, when of course, it won't.
Oooh, I find that part about Elizabeth battling the dark side intriguing, especially when combined with the information that the sisters are not close. I wonder if that is foreshadowing that she is going to take the wrong path later on.
Oh, I wonder what their secret is and why they seem to be almost able to make demands of Minerva. She isn't the sort of person who lets teenagers tell her what to do or who responds to blackmail. It seems to be the secret and the need to keep it that really decides her. I wonder what it is.
Review for Quadpot, Match 3: Stories with no reviews.
Thanks, Margaret! I've been working on this story for a long time, and I think what I like most about the beginning is that the girls aren't necessarily likeable. (Which might be a weird thing to say as the author!) Though you're right to see that they respect Minerva, there's definitely tension there.
Thank you, too, for pulling out that line. I think as a writer sometimes you just find lines that you love and that you're proud of—you know what I mean? : )
I hope you kept with it, because some of the answers you're looking for come pretty quickly—especially when it comes to their secrets. The girls each have their own, and htye've really taken a life of their own now! If you're still reading, I hope you'll let me know what you think!