Wild Card - Critique Section
Good evening, dear! I hope you don't mind me stopping by your story, having a quick read.
I do love children (I have seven of my own) and I do love reading about them. Dear little Luna here is only nine, playing in the snow as well. Oh bless her heart. The Lovegoods are always a little bit odd, but they still are a family, and it's nice to read about them time to time. I like that LUna and her mum obviously spend a lot of time together. Even if they are doing silly things like making anti-Wrackspurt amulets - we do know that wrackspurts don't exist, right?
The amount of detail you use is just lovely: the bursts of different coloured smoke, the mention that the Lovegoods don't get very many visitors (one of these days, I should really go and pay old Xeno Lovegood a visit). The Lovegood house is also such a place of activity, with Pandora sending up all that yellow smoke to create whole new things. And Xeno mucking around with his printer.
Oh, Luna has found the hole of a Blibbering HUmdinger? I'm a little sceptical; I admit. But then again, I've always been sceptical about Pandora and Xeno's theories and inventions.
One thing I think that you do excellently well, dear, is your very adept portrayal of Luna's voice. Her long wandering trains of thought reflect nicely in your sentences. I like the whimsy in her voice, but also that childlike hope that persists, even at the end when her mother dies.
Speaking of the end --- oh Luna, that poor lamb! I wish I could take her back to the Burrow and feed her up and send her to play with my boys or Ginny so she won't be so alone. It is such a difficult thing to write a parental death scene through the eyes of a young child, but you've managed it perfectly, while keeping dear LUna in character the whole time.
This was such a lovely story, dear. I do hope things improve for Luna and Xeno. I'm sure they will; Luna is a lot more resilient than what a lot of folks make her out to be,