Hey there Gina! :) It's been far far far too long since I read anything of yours, and, honestly, this caught my eye so bad when I was browsing through the OF section, so I just had to stop by ;)
I'm always so so impressed by people who can write things like prose poems because, if I'm being totally honest, I don't exactly understand how they work, haha, but it seems super difficult and confusing and hard to get it right. But, that said, prose poetry is one of my favourite things to read, because it's always so beautiful. And this really, really isn't any kind of exception. It's just stunning?
Like, it's a really short story - and such a simple idea: a mermaid diving and then coming up onto land - but it's so complete and so vivid and so beautifully written that it made me smile and it created such a perfect image in my head, yk? The simplicity of it is so sweet and just kinda lets your words bring it all to life. Sometimes less is more and you've just so perfectly shown that there.
Your word choice is amazing. I just gotta say... it really, really is. 'Incandescent pearls of air', the sun described as 'bleeding low', 'burnt orange', 'no longer pure'. I mean just... ugh. It's so so good. I think my favourite is her hair 'stirred into watery suspension' - it just. it describes it almost too perfectly? There literally isn't a better, more succinct, way of saying it. It just... is. exactly that.
I love as well how well you evoke the mystical and the mythical and how effortlessly the description all flows with such a strong rhythm. The castle in the background, the mention of aching, now-human lungs to match her legs. How I can almost feel how cold her legs must be. How it feels as though it could be anywhere and everywhere at once; and it feels so normal, so every-day.
This is amazing. Honestly. I'm completely lost for words - hence this review is a lot shorter than I usually write - but I just... it's hard to find things to say other than just repeating over and over again that this is so impossibly beautiful. But it is, and you should be told that a thousand times over ;)
Hey, Gina! I'm here with a very belated review for the Nifflers event. This is on behalf of Stella Blue/Kristin.
Man, every time I read something you've written, I remember how much I love it, and wonder why I stayed away from your page for so long. I simultaneously enjoy and miss reading your writing. And this poem was a perfect example. I must admit, I know next to nothing about poetry, and I think this might be my first prose poem. I was under the impression that a prose poem was one that didn't rhyme, but this read more like a drabble to me. Part of the reason I enjoyed this piece was because it sat in between what a poem and a prose piece is. And you say so much with so little! I love how because there's so few words, it could be read as a mermaid shedding her tail in the literal sense, like a selkie. Or it could be read as a human who feels like they're a mermaid when in the water. But despite it having so few words, it's still so descriptive. That is one of the (many) things that I love about your writing. Honestly, your descriptions are just... *sighs dreamily*
This was such a lovely, enjoyable read!
I love the analogy woven into this. While the mermaid has her tale in the light of day, everything is bright and vivid. Your word chocie is beautiful, making everything feel so vibrantly alive, like freedom. Then, when dusk calls, and she's forced to leave her tail behind, the mood changes drastically. Everything slows, and the word choice and imagery brings the macabre on so suddenly it's almost shocking.
While there are a lot of different analogies I can think of, the first that comes to mind is the circle of life, where when the mermaid has her tail, it is representative of youth. She is full of life and energy as she dives just as deep as she can, the sea is hers. It reminds me of being young and free and having the feeling that you're unstoppable, like the world is yours. Then as the sun sets, it reminds me of aging. The mermaid retires her fins (being unable to swim freely in the ocean's depths) in the same manner that the elderly can no longer do the things they once could.
The loss of light and decent into night (or darkness) could be representative of life and death in this instance (light representing life and darkness representing death), and the way the sun is setting ("the sun bleeds low, burnt orange, no longer pure") screams of the process of aging and dying, especially when you take into account that youth generally represents innocence and the image of blood, in terms of death and dying.
Of course, then there's the more concrete evidence with the dying light, which of course, reminds me of death, as do the bodies growing algae (which reminds me of old things, because old things are known for growing things like mold -- though that one might be a bit of stretch).
At any rate, I loved this (in both a concrete and abstract sense).
[Quadpot | Match Three -- review a story with no reviews.]
Thanks for stopping by! (And sorry for the late response...) I loved reading your interpretation. The beautiful thing about poetry, in my opinion, is that the poem is just as much yours as it is mine, because we can all interpret it as we wish. I like the idea of the poem coming to life over and over again through each person's eyes. So thank you for sharing your vision with me. It's so cool to see. :)