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Reviews For Project Azkaban

Name: javu (Signed) · Date: 08 Feb 2019 01:26 PM · starstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Strangers

Agh. This is agonizing. Teddy blurts out Victorie’s name, remembering that He knows her but can’t remember her really. Just that he knows her. But by saying her name, he says too much which makes her suspicious of him. Which then throws a wrench in them getting back together organically without remembering their lives. Yeesh.

 

I really like how you’re doing the memory stuff and memory loss. Especially how they can’t remember something until someone says it and triggers that memory or knowledge of that thing existing. 

 

Yikes yikes yikes. The transcript answered a lot but also raised a ton more questions. The people in the prison work as Unspeakables. That’s interesting. Is the Malfoy Draco or Scorpius? Or another Malfoy and you’re disregarding the Epilogue? Since the Malfoy isn’t a trainee, I’m assuming it’s Draco. Just because of age. And that feels like a redemptive career path for Draco too. 

 

So assuming that you’re telling readers the worst possible scenario that they can experience so that you can write the characters going through that horrible experience, then I’m expecting that the plan of Brandt and Co is going to go haywire. Because maybe the ‘prisoners’ don’t have an incentive to escape per se, but they’re showing signs of wanting to go outside. Or at least being curious of seeing the outside. I feel like this is something that the developers missed: the human desire to experience nature and to breathe fresh air. So... which leads us to the Fear Generator. Since you’ve built up the anticipation for it, I’m assuming the prisoners will run into the fear generator. Maaan. This is gonna be intense!

 

I’m really sorry that this took so long to get to. You requested a review ages ago and im now just getting to it. I actually read this chapter like a month ago, but didn’t get to the review. I sort of pulled away a bit from HPFT, but I’m back now and reviewing away! I’m also going to slide this in for RvG February too! Alwynse.



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 13 Jan 2019 04:38 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Strangers

Hey, Gina!

I'm here for the magical menagerie and I thought I'd take the chance to catch up with this fascinating story. :)

Okay, but... I'm worried for what's coming... this Fear Generator thing sounds... not good... and it seems like the Department of Mysteries is already losing control of the prison? And our heroes seem to be determined to get outside... nothing of this bodes well...

Poor Victoire... she seemed so scared and desperate... her reaction to Teddy broke my heart a little... and poor Teddy, too. He feels this connection but he has no idea of the meaning and now he feels like he's lost her trust...

It's interesting how different Cal and Victoire's experiences are different from Teddy and Lysander's. I wonder if there's a specific reason, or if it's just their different characters. I find it also so incredibly impressive the way you write your characters' thoughts, the few things they know and the many things they feel like they should know but don't. How neither of them is really aware of something until someone else mentions it, and then they realize that they'd been thinking the same the whole time. It's so fascinating, if creepy. This whole mental trap is incredibly well built and I'm in awe at your creativity and brilliant writing. It's just so good.

I'm sure there are tons of things I should comment on, but I can't think of them right now... the point is this is brilliant and I can't wait for the next update because I need to know what's going to happen next. Will they find the other "prisoners"? Will they find a way out? Will they be rescued or will they actually face the Fear Generator, whatever that is (I have an idea, and I'm not sure if I want to see the effects)?

Wonderful job, dear!

Lots of love,

Chiara



Author's Response:

Thanks for stopping by to leave your thoughts! I'm happy to hear that this crazy idea is working for you. :) It's the strangest thing I've ever written and I am super self-conscious about it, so your support means a lot. Things are just going to get stranger and crazier from this point forward, so I hope you're ready for a wild ride!



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 04 Jan 2019 04:34 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Strangers

GINA! I'm finally here for the review you requested a couple of weeks ago. I promise the delay was not from lack of interest (more lack of internet) BECAUSE I AM SO EXCITED TO FINALLY BE READING THIS ♥

 

I'm so curious why Victoire doesn't remember Teddy, because at least what I intepret from Teddy's recollections, it seems they may have had a relationship or at least a close friendship in the past. Which leads me to wonder if they broke up before all of this and Victoire had moved on and Teddy hadn't? I'm so curious about the history between the two of them and why they don't have the same memory flashes. At this point my assumption is that because each of them only have flashes of certain things, that those things were very important to them, and in addition to why Victoire doesn't remember Teddy, I'm also curious why Victoire remembers outside and Teddy doesn't. Maybe she played a lot of Quidditch or was just a very outdoorsy person?

 

Clever way of finding out how many there are. One person ran out in the previous chapter but that still leaves one more person unaccounted for...

 

The most nervous I was during this chapter was when the food appeared in Victoire's cell and they all decided t go back to their cells. What if the doors close? And then they're stuck in there again but this time with the knowledge that there are others? I just want to push them out the door. But I do, sort of, understand why they hesitate - this prison is the only thing they can remember. In Teddy's mind, almost, there's a little bit of Stockholm syndrome in that he sees the prison as the thing that takes care of him and feeds him and everything - in with the curiosity about what's outside is also an affection for his cell. It is the only familiar thing and the unfamiliar outside scares him. But I know better, as the reader, and the idea that they'd all go back to their cell again was just terrifying because I don't know yet whether the doors opening was a mistake or a test, but either way I was worried it would reverse.

 

Quick typo fix before I forget:

The others watched her with baited breath -- should be bated

 

Omg this end part is so interesting too. Malfoy. Is it Draco or Scorpius? He's not very popular which makes me inclined to think Draco, haha. And the thing about him retaining his memories makes me wonder if he's the person who ran out (whom I will call Person One until proven otherwise) in the previous chapter - because he remembered more? Where is Person Five? I still haven't forgotten them.

 

One of my questions from the previous chapter has been answered - these people are indeed the trial run and Teddy is not a 'real' criminal. But this chapter has raised more questions than it has answered XD Which is a good thing really. This is a mystery story after all, so it's got to raise questions. And yes, in answer to your question in your request, the mystery is definitely set up well and is attention grabbing. I'm reading every detail with so much thought, that my mind is absolutely swimming with theories that I'm coming up with and then changing them after every other line. I love that in a story :D

 

Lysander's (I'm assuming? It only says Scamander, but there is still a missing person and as far as I know Lorcan could have been here too) comment about "who else is freaking out" has me wondering how this trial group was chosen and just how much information they've actually been given. I wonder how much has been left out. I just can't fathom how anyone in their right mind would agree to the test if they actually knew everything it entailed and how messed up the whole thing is...

 

I did the math and the opening of the doors has to have been a glitch. If the test was to be five months, 124 days is just over 4 months. So it's not the end of the trial run yet.

 

I TAKE IT ALL BACK ABOUT URGING THEM TO GO OUTSIDE WHAT IS THE FEAR GENERATOR? IF THERE WAS A GLITCH THAT LET THEM ESCAPE, THE FEAR GENERATOR KILLSWITCH MIGHT NOT BE WORKING EITHER, CUE PANICKING. And they have no idea what is awaiting them outside. Omg this is so SUSPENSEFUL. But if they don't escape then they'll still be in the prison, and... will they lose their memories forever if they stay in there the full five months? Are the 'flashes' just the last vestiges of memory because they've only been there 4 months? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??!?!!?!?!?!?!?

 

The divided set up between what's going on in the prison and the flashbacks to before the trial are a really effective way of getting the full story across while still leaving enough unknown to push the mystery onward. I think it's really well paced.

 

This was another amazing chapter and I'm so excited to see where this story is going!!



Author's Response:

I'm dead.

 

Okay, I'm back.

 

I'm really not sure how to respond to this review, which us why it has taken me so long to write this. I am flabbergasted that you are enjoying the story this much. It just... it's so different than anything I've ever written and I get so self-conscious posting each chapter, so hearing your thoughts and your support is everything to me. Thank you.

 

I LOVE your theories. OMG. You are the best. I love that you're catching all the little details and the hints I'm dropping. Mysteries are hard because I want to be subtle but not too subtle that my readers don't catch anything. I love that you figured out how long they've been there and realized that the doors open has to be some sort of error. I love that you're freaking out over them being separated and worried about The Fear Generator (I am too, and I've already written the whole story!).

 

You are wonderful and I hope to have the next chapter out this week because I failed at writing the last month.



Name: javu (Signed) · Date: 30 Dec 2018 08:40 PM · [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Prison Break

This is ... different. I'm not sure how I feel about this. The beginning was confusing, but I think you wrote it that way on purpose. I did understand that Teddy was in a situation where he had for some reason been altered cognitively.

 

I like how you started out with the days thing. It sets the stage. And then it really sets the stage in the set-up, I think. Because he has no memory of what life was before he started counting, so how does he know to count? Some part of him hangs onto reality: the counting, his name, and a hazy image of Victorie. It's so sweet that he can sort of remember her. And at the end there, when he remembers her name! So cute.

 

I understood better from the second half. Without that, I think I'd be lost. And with the second half, I'm very intrigued. A time-space continuum -- what could possibly go wrong ? :D Plenty, I'm sure. I'm anticipating a tear in the Space or Time, since that seems to be the worst thing that could happen. So I'm thinking that either they get stuck there or they come back in a parallel universe where Voldemort won the war. Or both! Anyway, looking forward to chapter 2!

 

Belatedly reviewed for your request, and I'm also going to tag on RvG December here - go GOLD!



Author's Response:

Thanks for your review! You are absolutely right--this is the most "different" story I think I've ever written. I'm glad to hear that you're intrigued! I knew I had to include some information at the end or there would be too many questions. I hope you'll be back to read more!



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 26 Dec 2018 07:12 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Prison Break

Hello, Gina, happy holidays!

I decided to profit of the wishlists to check out this story, which I've been curious about for a while (also, I feel like I haven't read enough of your wonderful writing, so I suppose it's time to fix that...)

Wow! This is scary! This new idea for Azkaban is almost as bad as the original one? The idea of prisoners being kept in complete isolation and erased of every memory, to the point where they believe nothing else outside their cells and dayly routines exists... it's just unsettling?

I'm wondering now... are Teddy and everyone else volunteers helping the tests of the new structure (that's what I understood from the project's description, and what would make most sense, since I can't see Teddy, Victoire and Lysander all being criminals...) or are they actual prisoners? And if so, what are they there for?

I'm also wondering who broke them out and why, and what will happen now. Even if they aren't isolated in their cells anymore, they are still trapped into a sort of parallel dimension, right? And they still have no memories, although something is coming to the surface... I wonder how this all is going to develop...

Wow, this is such a fascinating idea! And your writing is just brilliant! I could feel your characters so strongly and visualize everything so vividly. You are truly an amazing writer!

Happy holidays again!

Lots of love,

Chiara



Author's Response:

Thanks for stopping by, dear! I'm glad to hear that you think the story is fascinating! Sometimes I worry that my crazy ideas are only good in my own head, so thank you for the support!

 

I totally agree--this new prison is not any better than the original. Its creator believes he has made improvements, but as you will see, others are not convinced. ;) As for the characters, well, I can't say much without spoiling things, but they are definitely still in an alternate dimension. Not that they know they are, of course. Heh heh.



Name: poppunkpadfoot (Signed) · Date: 23 Dec 2018 10:14 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Strangers

Hi Gina! I'm so excited! I totally didn't even realize that this story had a second chapter already :D So I'm here with a belated review (just in time for the holidays!)

I think you're doing SUCH a fantastic job with the pacing of this story. In both chapters you carefully give us just the right amount of information for the story (and the intrigue!) to build, without doing any info-dumping and also without leaving too much out and making everything completely confusing.

I thought it was really interesting and effective how you had all of the prisoners (or at least all the prisoners who've found each other so far... where's One and Five?!) sort of... piecing together the situation? That each of them had sort of had a different experience of the prison and that each of them realized different things about what was going on - like that Victoire knew that there was something outside the prison, whereas that hadn't occured to anyone else. (It's also so different from Azkaban 1.0, which was by all accounts experienced pretty uniformly by all prisoners.)

Ah! The transcript at the end makes me so scared for them! It answers some of the questions I had after the first chapter (i.e. are Teddy and Victoire criminals? Does Teddy not remember anything because that's an effect of the prison or has something gone wrong?) but it also means things are VERY bad! It definitely seems now that they're in a test run that's gone wrong - what with the "save yourselves" guy - and that makes this Brandt person's assurances that they won't have to face the Fear Generator (which I do not like the sound of At All) ring very hollow...

Gina, you're totally killing it with this story! I can't wait for another chapter! :D

Love,

Kayla



Author's Response:

Excuse me while I melt into a puddle.

 

But really... let me try to make words because I am so grateful for your support.

 

Thank you for stopping by and offering your thoughts. I'm glad that you're enjoying the story thus far and I LOVE hearing all of your theories about the characters, especially Brandt. He is a favorite of mine and I've been having a lot of fun fleshing out his character. You'll see more of him in chapters to come--or rather hear from him, since he's not in the prison. I hope the next chapter does not disappoint!



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 16 Dec 2018 11:10 PM · [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Strangers

Hi Gina! I’m back again for December RvG! Also, because I’ve read the first chapter of this multiple times now (once during the POGs, once for the SOTM review column, and just now to write that last review - honestly, how I never managed to write a review until today still confuses me), I’ve been super pumped for this second chapter to come out and for the story to continue.

 

Once again, you’ve managed to capture so much confusion in Teddy’s thought processes and the behaviours of the other characters - it’s really interesting that you’re exploring the totally different ways that their time in prison has impacted them - Teddy and Lysander were oddly secure in their isolation, while it really took a toll on Cal and Victoire. It’s just really interesting how the same scenario can impact people totally differently - gah, the psychology of this whole thing is just SO. COOL.

 

I also really love that each person has maintained totally different flashes of memory (and that one of Teddy’s was Victoire’s name, because awww) because those differences mean that they’re all contributing different facts to the situation to figure out where they are and what they should do next. And everything about the gap between Teddy and Victoire is heartbreaking at this point - especially from Teddy’s POV because he’s having these feelings he can’t describe which just makes me think that ‘oh my god he’s in love with her but neither of them remember.’ MY HEART.

 

And then the end of this narrative section is such a great little hook for the next chapter, because they’re clearly about to go through even more crazy trials in either attempting to break out through the windows or going through the new maze of hallways in the prison. I get the feeling that even more mind games are coming up  next.

 

And then the transcript. I didn’t realise this was going to be a thing in every chapter when I reviewed the last one, but I LOVE THAT IT IS. It’s such a great way to get glimpses of the world outside of this alternate reality that all the characters are living in, as well as get context for what’s actually happening in the chapter. And we get glimpses of the character’s real personalities before they were brainwashed (mind-wiped?) going into the prison. The brief flashes of humour here - “please strike that from the record” - are really well-placed, and the use of only last names establishes a nice bit of intrigue trying to match people here to the people in the earlier narration (some people are easy, but Cal isn’t, and also I’m curious as to which Malfoy they’re referring to, because I’m assuming Draco but it could be Scorpius so who knows).

 

But also. I feel like there was SO MUCH FORESHADOWING HERE AND I AM SCARED FOR THESE POOR CHARACTERS. The ‘we have programmed a kill switch’ line makes me think that for some reason the kill switch isn’t going to work and the prison is going to completely take over and develop a mind of its own, and the whole Fear Generator part is…… OH GOD YOU’RE GOING TO PUT THEM ALL IN THE FEAR GENERATOR, AREN’T YOU? I have no idea if either of these were meant as foreshadowing (or if you’ve thrown some red herrings in here), but I get the feeling that things are only going to get way, way worse for these characters from here.

 

Anyways, this chapter was incredible and I’m so happy that you wrote this story for your NaNo project because I NEED MORE.

 

-Taylor



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 16 Dec 2018 10:46 PM · [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Prison Break

Hi Gina! So, I keep swearing I’ve reviewed this first chapter, but somehow I haven’t? So I’m here doing that now, and also counting this for December RvG!

 

I really love that this story starts by throwing you straight into the action, without a clear understanding of how we got to this position in the first place. It leads to a lot of suspense and questions - what did Teddy do to get put Azkaban? Did he actually commit a crime or was he falsely accused of something? Why is his thought process so thoroughly addled? You do a great job of using his confusion and foggy mental state to really set the scene and show just how much he’s been affected by his time in this magical prison.

 

And then the ending of the chapter is where everything clicks into place, and it’s perfect. I like that you included this report-style excerpt at the end of the chapter - it allows all the events we’ve just witnessed to click into place and gives them more context, but by having it at the end of the chapter you still get that action-packed beginning in this chapter as well. Also, the concept of a self-sufficient prison where time exists on an altered plane of reality is so intriguing and so horrifying all at once? And, although I’m not sure about this, the proposal makes it sound like this might’ve been the trial run, which means Teddy could’ve  actually been completely innocent and entered into this willingly, only to have the it turn from just a trial into his whole perception of reality.

 

This whole thing really gives me strong Stanford Prison Experiment vibes, in that it’s an experiment that seems like it’s gone completely out of control and the people in prison have started to convince themselves they belong there and don’t remember the outside world - except all of this is magnified because it’s in a magical prison so there’s all sorts of additional factors at play, like the altered timeline and memory wipe.

 

This is such a cool and interesting concept for a story, and I’m really excited to see how it develops from here!

 

-Taylor



Name: TidalDragon (Signed) · Date: 16 Dec 2018 10:09 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Strangers

Howdy again, Gina! I was psyched to see this in my thread, even though I obviously failed to refresh it and missed this instead of plowing through the multi-chapter ahead of yours first. Sorry!

 

So, I really like the transcript in connection with the rest of the chapter. It looks like they've escaped their cells a little under a month before the "simulation" ends and I'm more than a little concerned for their safety and potential contact with this new danger - the Fear Generator. Perhaps they will track down Malfoy and he WILL remember not to leave the prison, but at the same time, everyone's memories are gone and so it's very possible that he won't and then...you've already built the suspense. DUN DUN DUN.

 

I also like the way you handled the group bewilderment and their tiny recollections - "flashes" - that come as they begin to understand certain concepts and by extension the world again. One thing I'm am curious about in that regard is their retention of vocabulary. It seems that the obliviation went deep enough to erase their identities and as they have to begin to reclaim these words and concepts, it's interesting that their vocabularies haven't eroded in the sense that they just don't know the words for things anymore. I suppose the obliviation is quite targeted (we know it can be targeted to varying degrees in canon), but it was just something interesting to me, even if only on a sort of philosophical level. It would be hard to escape together without being able to communicate though wouldn't it (:p).

 

As usual your dialogue is awesome and the introduction of certain character dynamics is nicely done as well. I'm interested to see what becomes of Teddy as "the enemy" in Victoire's mind and this Cal character who seems like she was either a partner recruit or something or is...interested...in Victoire. In fact, tracking back to the earlier chapter, I'm pretty interested in Cal generally. I get the sense that there's a lot more to her given how quickly she "remembered" herself before. It felt almost like she was covering her tracks with the "Cal" statement. Who can say. In any event you've succeeded in getting me puzzled already so...CONGRATS!

 

Still loving the story! Keep up the great work!



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 14 Dec 2018 03:22 PM · [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Strangers

 

Hey Gina!

 

A little birdy told me that you had updated! ;) so I'm here to continue spreading some Christmas joy as well as for RvG.

 

GINA. THIS IS AMAZE. I said that you were a good story teller in my last review and this could not be more true! How unique and inventive is this story? It kinda has the whole package because it's got a love story aspect but it's a twisted mystery too.

 

Teddy's inner monologue is excellent, his confusion is so well played. I feel for him that he remembers only bits and pieces but Victorie is the one thing that he seems so sure of. (that and the prison being in charge!). I'm shipping them so hard! There are so many questions to be answered but I adore the narrative, how it'll come together piece by piece like a jigsaw. I thought the description of the outside by victorie was interesting. She seem to come alive speaking about that.

 

I'm obsessed with how you've structured the story between the two split sections. I think it's such a clever way to do things so it gives the reader more information than the characters is really interesting. It'll be cool to see the character's figure out all this stuff. 

 

What happened to 1 and 5? where are you? is one Malfoy? he seems unaccounted for at this point right? I think my head is ready to explode at this point. 

 

HOW DID THIS PLOT COME OUT OF YOUR BRAIN?! It's insane and I'm obsessed with this story. 

 

- Abbi xo

 



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 13 Dec 2018 05:44 PM · [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Strangers

Hi Gina!  I was so excited to see you'd posted a new chapter of this story, and I'm stopping by for December's RvG Review Battle :)

 

Ah, this didn't disappoint at all!  This was so amazing - baffling and chilling and intriguing and just brilliantly written.  You've managed to give us a little more information about the prison set-up and the people who are inside Azkaban at the moment, but at the same time I still have so many questions, possibly more than at the end of the first chapter, and I'm so curious to find out what's going to happen!

 

The opening was so heartbreaking - Teddy just knowing Victoire's name, but making himself into an enemy in a way because of that, because nobody knows that information and they haven't spent time with other people for - I'm not sure how long, but possibly up to five months?  The way that you played with the ideas of what they know and remember was fascinating - Teddy knowing Victoire's name because of what she means to him, and yet he doesn't remember there's such a thing as outside until it's pointed out to him.  It kind of reminded me a bit of when I'm trying to think of a name or something that I know I know but can't remember until someone else says it, and then I know it instantly.  The memories are all vanishing from them - or being taken - and yet it seems that they haven't succeeded in taking everything from the inmates yet.

 

It was also so interesting to see the way that the different inmates had been responding to the imprisonment, especially after reading the second half of the chapter when we learn that their purpose is to create an environment that they won't want to leave.  Teddy and Lysander both seem to have grown quite comfortable and happy in their cells, but Victoire and Cal haven't.  I'm sure they - or the prison (eep!) - will be noting all of that down with interest.

 

Teddy's suggestion that the prison is the one in charge, rather than there being someone behind it, definitely doesn't seem to be as far from the mark as we might have thought, especially when we see the prison changing completely so that they can't get back to their cells.  I have so many questions about what's going to happen - where the other inmates are, how long they've been here for.... This is just so intriguing!

 

And then the final section of the chapter, with the partial transcript of the briefing.  So they're all Unspeakable trainees - that seems so entirely unethical!  Even if they were able to give consent as adults, they're surely entitled to be trained fully before they're asked to participate in something like this... And I'm curious about where Malfoy is, too, and what he's doing in the prison - whether he's working with the people on the outside, or minding his own business, or will end up relying on the others.  There are so many possibilities that it's really fascinating.

 

The last paragraph has me so worried, though - I suspect that the trainees are going to try and get out of the prison at some point, but despite their promises, I'm not sure that the Ministry will hold true to their promise not to make any of them face the Fear Generator, which sounds absolutely terrifying...

 

Sian :)



Name: adorably cute (Signed) · Date: 13 Dec 2018 11:14 AM · [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Strangers

GINA HOLY HELL! CHAPTER TWO IS JUST AS AMAZING! ALL HAIL!

 

I am here with your requested review and also for December's RcG and I apologize in advance if this is a hot mess, though I will try and comment on everything that you asked me to comment on in a reasonbly coherent manner.

 

To start, YES it grabs my attention, oh my god does it grab my attention! POOR TEDDY WHO KNOWS AND LOVES VICTOIRE WHO CAN'T REMEMBER A THING ABOUT HIM MY HEART IS BREAKING! You wrote everything about that SO WELL throughout this, all those little moments, where he just wants to love and protect her but doesn't want to scare her anymore than he already has. I just--I LOVE THEM SO MUCH ALREADY AND WANT ALL THE NICE THINGS FOR THEM GINA, I NEED THEM TO BE OKAY!

 

I love this squad--they each bring something to the table and I think it's going ot be amazing seeing them work together to get out of this prison. They already work so well together, figuring out that they were even trapped in a prison (and learning about OUTSIDE, just the CONCEPT OF OUTSIDE was another heartbreaking piece, poor Victoire so so sad after and Teddy, just wanted to help her stand to look out the window and then comfort her, and noticing THAT SHE'S LOST HER SPARK OMG I AM DYING). 

 

I love how sure Teddy is that the prison is in charge--there is so much that he's very confident about and yet still so much that he has no idea about and I'm curious to see how that will play out as the squad starts working together more to try and escape. Liek Victoire was so confident about there being an outside and I'm excited to see how everyone's knowledge will come together. ESPECIALLY NOW THAT THE PRISON HAS CHANGED! That was a wild twist, not going to lie; now they're commited to this and they have to move foward.

 

My guess right now is that Malfoy is probably prisoner 1, hiding out somwhere and that his legilimency skills have definitely helped make him not panicky like this crew. Prisoner 5, of course, was the save yourself guy, who panicked and threw himself into the void and I have absolutely zero idea what happened to him--is he sitting safely back in the ministry? dead in a ditch? facing the fear generator alone? honestly have zero clue, kinda want to find out. Is Cal Emilia Zabini? She was so confident in her name but she could ahve been remebering something differently.  I AM VERY NERVOUS ABOUT THIS FEAR GENERATOR GINA! IT SOUNDS VERY OMINOUS AND THEY SAY THE EXPERIMENT WILL STOP BEFORE THEY HAVE TO FACE IT BUT I'M VERY SKEPTICAL!

 

anyway, re: the things you asked me to comment on. the mystery is set up VERY WELL! There are just enough hints for things that I AM DYING (dying, Gina, dying) to know more, but not so many that I'm confused about everything that's happening! The pacing is great! Honestly, it's perfectly on point, moving along at just the right speed to keep dropping clues, and everything is totally believable. I am truly amazed at how you created this world--it's so well done! I will be anxiously awaiting chatper 3 and the rest of the story because I NEED TO KNOW MORE!! Amazing job Gina, great chapter!!-Sarah


Name: Rhaenyra (Signed) · Date: 10 Dec 2018 12:34 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Prison Break

Damn, Gina. Was this the project you were working on during NaNo? I hope so, because I need more of this.

 

I will admit that I haven’t read as much Next Gen as other eras (I know, I know). The need to do so much world building has also kept me off of writing it. It is clear that you have nailed all this though. Clearly, the Department of Mysteries and the Unspeakables have been very busy in the decades since the end of the Second Wizarding War.

 

I love how you have given us just a taste of so many things. Teddy was clearly a Hufflepuff and knows Victoire. He must have some strong sense of discipline to continue push ups and the like while in prison, feeling like he is the only person in the world (chills at that description, by the way). The unknown feelings he is getting about himself and the past, like the fact that he wouldn’t leave a person behind, make me want to know more. Ditto for the descriptions you have given in the official document from 1998. This is clearly a complex experiment, giving me hints of the Stanford Prison experiment, but mixed with a bonus of space/time. The concept of time being off so they can serve multiple life sentences is really cool, but sad that it needs to exist.

 

Volunteers!? <— my reaction to that plot twist at the end. I repeat: damn, Gina. That completely changed my expectations of what we will learn of past events.

 

This is soooo good. At risk of sounding cliche, update soon. ;)



Name: M C Crocker (Signed) · Date: 05 Dec 2018 11:21 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Prison Break

Okay, I was about to say, please tell me that there is going to be more, to this story but I saw the shell and saw that the story is not done.  I am already in love with this story.  There are so many questions in my head of 'why', 'how', 'when'.  This gripped me from the start and I cannot wait until you update becuase I want to read more.

You have done a fabulous job of showing the character's loss of identity and the isolation they have experienced.  You have created a very interesting premise and I feel like I'm leaving such a crap review for you when I love this story so much already.  I am looking forward to a new chapter and see what you have in store for the characters being trapped in this Azkaban 2.0 which seems to have taken control based on your summary.



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 02 Dec 2018 12:30 PM · [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Prison Break

 

Hey Gina!

 

I'm here to spread some Christmas cheer and check off something from your wish list too!

 

I thought this whole piece was so interesting. I'm already really interested in where this piece is going as this chapter offers certain clues but it offers up a lot more questions too. I think you'v done an amazing job at really engaging me in your writing because I'm now horrified that there is only one chapter of this (but I'm informed that someone had a successful NaNo!).

 

So your description is so vivid, you've really helped me build up this picture about what is going on. I love all the little details that you've included, just some really stunning imagery here. One of the (many) things that you did well was present Teddy's thought process because it wasn't clear, his mind was so foggy up with different things, his memories lost. It was all very confusing for him and you played that really well. I think it was interesting seeing that he was so amazed by other people. 

 

So the ending is where it gets very intriguing. I love the formatting of the project proposal. It was a very unique way to take the narrative. I think that is a real strength in your writing, you're a wonderful storyteller. I'm super excited to see what you have planned for this story and how everything is going to come together. 

 

- Abbi xo

 

 

 



Name: Nix (Signed) · Date: 28 Oct 2018 09:44 PM · [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Prison Break

Hey Gina! This was such a great setup! I loved the entire thing with Teddy in his cell, knowledgeable enought to know he had a life before Azkaban, but at the same time not knowing what that life was, only getting certain flashbacks without any context. I was so curious throughout reading this entire chapter, wandering what was going on and how he got there. He seemed to think he was the only person in existence, which sounds like a really lonely life. 

And then, when they're released we learned they all were living like this. Completely unaware for each other. I liked how Calliope and Lysander seemed to cling to Teddy when they discovered him, like he was once their leader in another life and it was instinctual to follow him. 

And the ending with the Project Proprosal was great! It explains a lot, but I'm still so curious to read more about them all. Like how did they end up there? What made them volunteer? Were they working in the Department of Mysteries? How long were they in there? How will they adjust as they return to their lives from before? I also love the idea of the self functioning prison, it's like Smart House meets the Matrix or something of that sort. 

I do hope you update more chapters soon!

xxNix



Name: Nix (Signed) · Date: 21 Oct 2018 09:24 PM · [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Prison Break

Hey Gina! This was such a great setup! I loved the entire thing with Teddy in his cell, knowledgeable enought to know he had a life before Azkaban, but at the same time not knowing what that life was, only getting certain flashbacks without any context. I was so curious throughout reading this entire chapter, wandering what was going on and how he got there. He seemed to think he was the only person in existence, which sounds like a really lonely life. 

And then, when they're released we learned they all were living like this. Completely unaware for each other. I liked how Calliope and Lysander seemed to cling to Teddy when they discovered him, like he was once their leader in another life and it was instinctual to follow him. 

And the ending with the Project Proprosal was great! It explains a lot, but I'm still so curious to read more about them all. Like how did they end up there? What made them volunteer? Were they working in the Department of Mysteries? How long were they in there? How will they adjust as they return to their lives from before? I also love the idea of the self functioning prison, it's like Smart House meets the Matrix or something of that sort. 

I do hope you update more chapters soon!

xxNix



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 07 Oct 2018 04:35 PM · [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Prison Break

Gina! Here for RvG (Team Gold). And also, I think this won SotM, so congratulations on that! :)

 

And, uh, wow. What kind of mind trickery is this? Don't get me wrong--I love being this thrown off, stumbling mentally around, wondering what in the world I just read... and how any of it can make sense. Merlin's beard, this was an intensely fun read!

 

My heart goes out to Teddy so, so much in the beginning. I'm wondering, "What did he do to deserve such a fate?" And also, is this extreme solitary confinement... legal?! I know that the wizarding world has a highly questionable justice system, but I was hoping that maybe it has improved since the Battle of Hogwarts. 

 

But then again, this project was started before that, which makes me think that's the reason why it's gotten so far along. That ending section is very official sounding (well done), and I like how you flush out this concept and tie in different strands of the Department of Mysteries.

 

I think Teddy's... awakening and reunification with Victoire is paired brilliantly with this official sounding document. We have our characters. We have our setting. We have our purpose. It's clear that the characters want to know what's going on and ultimately want a way out, so now we have our purpose. This is a great beginning chapter, and I can't wait to see what unfolds next!



Name: starbuck (Signed) · Date: 17 Sep 2018 01:50 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Prison Break

hey gina! i'm leaving this for the house cup opener 2018/2019 :D

 

so i actually wanted to read this ever since you posted in my UFG topic and asked for a banner with the title 'Project Azkaban' - it sounded so ominous, mysterious and intriguing! and when i read the summary it was like i was reading an intro to an incredible book i'd want to binge-read.



this whole concept of a self sustaining prison, managing to control space and time, making it possible to do multiple life sentences - it's very dystopian and i'm literally dying to know more!



why is teddy in prison? and lysander and victorie? what could they have possibly done? where is harry/hermione/ron - is this something they'd approve (especially hermione - i'm not sure her moral compass would allow it....but after a war, i wouldn't be surprised, tbh)? why were the prisoners made to be so isolated (oh i see now the answer at the end)? so many questions....



 it's obvious this story has a fantastic start, i mean, there's absolutely no way that i won't read the next chapter as soon as you post it and that's probably something every author loves to hear!



i do wonder why they'd erase the memories of the incarcerated - without no memories, they don't actually know anything else besides the prison, making the serving of their sentence far easier. i'm not sure they'd get rehabilitated in such a way (which is the ultimate goal of a prison?)

 

how did you decide to use teddy as the protagonist? (if it's not too much of a spoiler!)

 

this was a really great read!

 

kris



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 31 Aug 2018 12:55 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Prison Break

Hey Gina!

So, I was browsing the forums and got distracted by your forum signature featuring this story and I was so intrigued by the words 'Teddy/Victoire prison break fic' that I had to check it out :P Prison break fic? I've never seen one of those before. I'm in.

And honestly I'm SO glad I read this because !! asdhfkjahdskjf this is just mindblowing and omg it's so good. It was even more interesting than I expected it to be (which says a lot because I already expected it to be really interesting) and I have so many thoughts about this first chapter and all of them are impressed.

 

I love the structure of this chapter, leading in through this very foggy beginning where he can't remember anything, he doesn't even have a personality, but perhaps vestiges of it show through (he wants to save the others, and he has a flash of a memory of yellow and black, so clearly not everything is gone from his Hufflepuffy self) It just raises so many questions, how he got like this, what happened, what is going on, like a million more questions. And I love that you ended the chapter with the actual project proposal.

 

The project proposal says a whole lot about what Emmanuel Brandt is like as a person and I dislike him very strongly. I get that they don't want to use Dementors any more in Azkaban, because that clearly failed. But I didn't think they could come up with a worse replacement, and it appears they have, even if it is very efficient. Efficiency seems to be the only thing they focused on here. Because like... what about people who aren't serving life sentences? What about people who are there for three years or something and then how do they go back to the real world? They have no memories of who they are or what they did or like, anything. There are so many flaws in this project proposal and I feel like he didn't run this by enough people and no one should have given him funding for this :P

 

This would allow criminals to serve multiple life sentences within the constraints of real time. -- This is ... Wow. I don't know how I feel about this, like impressed but also hugely disapproving of it. Like... it's cool that they can do that? From a point of view of how far humans can manipulate the forces of nature, it's really impressive, but, why? Extending their life just so they can serve a longer prison sentence for a crime they can't even remember... idk, what's the point? Seems almost worse than the Dementors, in a way. At least you only suffered one lifetime with the Dementors, and you had memories (even if they were all terrible ones) - you had your identity. Here, they have nothing, not even their names possibly.

 

Ethically, our trial runs would require willing and able participants. The isolation and memory erasure could be considered akin to torture, though in the punishment of criminals and dark wizards, such features are to be expected. -- This part is interesting too. I don't know when this story takes place in Teddy's life time - is Project Azkaban 2.0 past its testing phase? Meaning that Teddy actually went to prison? Or are Teddy and co. the 'willing and able participants'? Did they get a copy of the project proposal to see what exactly they were signing up for? Omg as you can see I have so many questions and I just, this is FASCINATING. I want to read more and I hope your muse is cooperative and your spare time is plenty! Because honestly this is one of the most original, intriguing fics I've read in a while and I'm so glad I stopped by to read it. It's been ages since I read anything by you, which is a shame, because you're such a talented writer and I have been missing out. Keep up the awesome work (and I will be favoriting and regularly checking this for updates haha)

 



Name: Cat (Anonymous) · Date: 07 Jul 2018 06:09 PM · [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Prison Break

this is the most interesting, original, fiction I've begun in years! How very inticing.



Name: TidalDragon (Signed) · Date: 01 Jul 2018 12:48 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Prison Break

Howdy Gina! I'm stopping by after the POGS - and as a congrats and welcome back for returning to staff - to leave my detailed thoughts on this amazing work!

 

When I read this story for the first time, I was gripped by the quality of the description and inner thought we got from Teddy. You put us in his world very well and though his thoughts were rather - unmoored - your handling of him made it entirely clear why. From my perspective it immediately evoked solitary confinement and the effect it can have on one's perception and indeed, their sanity. Here that last bit actually becomes interesting - sanity. If he has no memory. If he has no identity - other than that which has been constructed in this place - is he truly struggling with sanity or is he a product of his environment. The clue perhaps is in his acknowledgment of the number of days. He knows that much - how is unclear even to him - but he knows and so in some sense his clinging to the place, his discounting the memories as flashes he doesn't understand carry the hallmarks of a destabilized mind.

 

The story became even better when I read the project proposal. Frankly, I want to lock this guy in his own prison in the shade realm. The level of clinical cruelty on display really is staggering. He has the occupants of the prison banished to a place where they have no memory and essentially know true existence. Time is meaningless because even as a construct, theirs is distorted and cleaved from reality. But it isn't meaningless to those on the outside, who seem fine inflicting many lifetimes of suffering on its occupants while they wile away their days in the real world. What's to stop the horror really? Will there be another proposal? More advancements in the types of magic referenced that will allow four lifetimes to be served in the space of one outside? Where does it end?

 

What seems really troubling though is the depths to which they allow Teddy, Victoire, etc. to sink. The timing seems to indicate that they may be the "willing and able participants" based on the twenty to thirty year implementation. This would be right about twenty and you wonder how much time they're willing to steal from even volunteers to accomplish what is - even in the service of law enforcement - a truly twisted goal.

 

In the end, this story really reminded me of an episode of Outer Limits called "The Sentence". In there a doctor thinks he's revolutionized criminal sentencing using a VR device to simulate years of prison in an even shorter time. Fortunately in that instance when the guy escapes from his own invention he destroys it, having realized how horrible it truly is. Here, we get no such comfort and no certainty that Teddy and Victoire ever escape. Even assuming they do, they would arguably be even more unmoored in the real world - a place they think they've never been and know nothing about. Not even a sick idea of "home" could stabilize them then so their fate would seem dependent on recovery of their memories. I'm intrigued to know what happens.

 

Thanks for sharing this, Gina! And congratulations on the POG!



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 02 Jun 2018 12:54 PM · [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Prison Break

Hi Gina!  I'm trying to stop by and read and review some of the POGs nominations.  I've heard so many wonderful things about this story already, and I know you were excited to write it, and I have to say that this first chapter certainly doesn't disappoint!

 

This was such a fascinating opening chapter!  Your writing was, as always, really compelling, and the description here was great - even though I wasn't entirely sure what was going on at the beginning, I had a very clear picture of the surroundings and what the protagonist was going through.

 

There was a sense of confusion and desperation at the beginning of this chapter which was almost tangible - it had me asking questions with the protagonist and wondering who on earth they were, as they didn't seem sure themselves.  And then of course, we find out it's Teddy, and he's in Azkaban (in some form), and he's not in the best mental state.  The flashes of memory or traces of his former life were so poignant and so effective in showing us that whatever's happened to him, he once had a very different life.

 

Even though there was a sense of confusion, it didn't blur the story for me - I thought you did a fantastic job of capturing the characters' mental states and the lost sense of where they are.  I'm so, so intrigued about what's happening to them and why they're there - my first thoughts were that Teddy must have been wrongfully imprisoned for something - and I have so many questions.  There's no way that I'm not reading on when you update this because I need answers.

 

I wasn't sure whether or not Teddy was imagining the person escaping at first, but then the discovery that he was able to leave his cell and meeting the other prisoners, some of whom have familiar names, just made me even more curious about what on earth has happened.  I can't tell if it's an actual prison break at the moment, or some sort of simulation they're running as torture.

 

It was so effective to have the project proposal at the end of the chapter, rather than the beginning.  It meant I was asking all these questions and then found answers in some form - but in a form that's terrifying and has only made me ask more questions.

 

The project is terrifying.  I can imagine, in a way, looking at the date, why someone might propose something like this as an alternative to the Dementors guarding Azkaban, but equally, it's absolutely chilling - particularly the idea that they're enabling people to serve multiple life sentences, bending time and space, or to treat people in a way that amounts to torture.

 

Looking at the date on the proposal is terrifying as well - it's been submitted just when the war ends, so it seems to me like this Emmanuel Brandt who submitted the proposal has been working on it for a while and just seized the opportunity of the chaos that existed at the end of the war to use it for his own means.  It's just horrifying - and the fact that it's ready in twenty to thirty years means, of course, that the next generation are the prime targets.  And I don't even know whether to trust that they volunteered for the project or if it's even more sinister and terrible than that...

 

This was amazing, and I was completely gripped reading it - I really hope you update soon because I have so many questions that I need answered!

 

Sian :)



Name: poppunkpadfoot (Signed) · Date: 19 May 2018 11:40 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Prison Break

Hiiii Gina!

 

It's really been way too long - like WAY too long - since I read one of your stories. However, I definitely didn't forget how talented you are and how much I enjoy your writing. 

 

There's so much happening here in this first chapter, but you've really pulled it off - rather than being confusing or overwhelming, it builds up from being just intriguing to being both intriguing and exciting. I have so many questions! Teddy's in Azkaban?! What happened?! And Victoire's there too? Are the effects that the prison has had on Teddy (thinking he's alone in the world, forgetting his name, forgetting his life) intentional, or has something gone wrong with the project?

 

I really like that you ended the chapter with the project proposal. I think that without it, the chapter would border on being confusing, whereas its inclusion keeps everything intriguing and interesting. And I like that it's at the end rather than at the beginning, because that allows the tension to build without the reader's perception of events being coloured by the proposal and without them prematurely jumping to conclusions about what's going on.

 

This is a really unique story and you've pulled this first chapter off extremely well. You've definitely left me VERY curious and wanting more! Fantastic job!

 

-Kayla



Author's Response:

Kayla! *major hugs*

 

You are so sweet. Thank you. Reading this review is a huge relief because I was so nervous this first chapter was just a great big ball of confusion. I’m glad it was the correct amount of confusing with some intriguing thrown in. I’m really enjoying this story so far, and I’m so happy to hear that you’ve enjoyed it too! 



Name: toomanycurls (Signed) · Date: 18 May 2018 11:04 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Project Azkaban Chapter: Prison Break

Whaaaaaaaaaat?! Gina. This. Is. Awesome. 

 

I mean, I'm not surprised that it's awesome. Reading the beginning I really felt like Teddy's confusion and altered mental state really came through. He was grasping at straws mentally and you described everything so beautifully. I feel like I'm just repeating myself but the mental exertion Teddy goes through just to hold onto his identity is jarringly painful. The description of his cell being as a both mental and physical is very hard hitting. When he heard the voice I wasn't sure at first if it was real which was brilliant. After reading the dossier/proposal in the second half, all the temporal distortion makes complete sense but it's even more sad knowing what he's going through. 

 

Teddy's reaction to Cal and Lysander really show how mentally unstable prison has made him. I'm glad that movement and conversation seem to be getting the cobwebs out of Teddy's head. What a cliffhanger you ended on! 

 

Okay, the proposal. It's so unique and original and I love it. It's heartbreaking to know what they've been going through but I'm dying to know if they are locked up or trapped by accident. 

 

I can't wait to read more of this. 

-Rose 

 



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