Name: Renacera (Signed) · Date: 30 Jan 2021 05:10 AM · For: 1. Pansy

Hello there!

I've been reading a lot of Pansy stories lately, so I thought I would come check this one out. It's definitely the darkest story I've read in a long time, but it was really well written, so I'm excited to review it!

You do a very good job of explaining Pansy's mental illnesses without coming right out and saying them. Between her OCD and her body dysmorphia, it's no wonder she's struggling so much with her family's and her society's expectations. It was heartbreaking to see her trying to keep her composure with her counting but still losing that composure in the face of Draco's brush-offs and her own eating disorder.

The refrain throughout—Pansy Parkinson. ... Proper, perfect, Pureblood.—is very effective to show Pansy's mental state and the pressures she's under. Despite this story not portraying her as heroic or anything like that, I still felt really bad for her.

Well done making an unsympathetic character sympathetic!

—Emily


*for the Fairyland Review Event*

Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 29 Jan 2019 11:40 AM · For: 2. Blaise

 

Hey!

 

So this is another fantastic story! I think it's been great because you've done something interesting and unique with each character. I love the backstories that you've chosen for them. They are really dark and hard hitting. 

 

I think your writing is so strong because you have made me sorry for these characters that they have their own issues. You're basically undoing JKR's work as these characters unlikable under her, they have very one sided but you've fleshed out them and made them really 3d.

 

Again, you've stunned with some beautiful imagery again, I think my favourite is 'like a fire being cradled from a single flame'. I just admire how you've got inside his mind in a very realistic way. It's sometimes difficult to write away from what you know but you've done a amazing job writing from the mind of a teenage boy especially the scene when he and theo are describing the yule ball. 

 

Poor Blaise, it makes me sad that he'll never get the chance to be the person that he was meant to be. 

 

- Abbi xo

 

Magical Mengerie/RvG

 

Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 28 Jan 2019 02:28 PM · For: 1. Pansy

 

Hey,

 

So I haven't really read a lot of Pansy before but she isn't the most likeable character but I think reading this. you could see where some of unpleasant qualities which could be fuelled by the pressures she feels from family and herself.

 

I really like how you used 'Proper, perfect. Pureblood' as a running themed through the piece. It's very effective because it's character's motivation. I loved the use of times like the amount of time the owl sits on her arm. It is very telling about the inner working of her brain. It's raw, bold and powerful. In the first sentence I knew straight away that she had a form of OCD. 

 

I thought the interaction with Draco was very telling because it's obvious that she is trying so hard and she wants to be loved but this portrayal of her doesn't think she deserves love because it doesn't sound like she's interested in Draco particularly. It doesn't sound like she's interested into very much apart from going through the motions that make up life. It's very sad. 

 

This was a beautifully written piece. I'm in awe about how you've crafted this character. 

 

- Abbi xo

 

Magical Menagerie/RvG

 

Name: MuggleMaybe (Signed) · Date: 28 Jan 2019 12:46 PM · For: 1. Pansy

Hello, Nim! I'm here for the Menagerie and BvY (Team Black)

 

This is a very dark portrayal of Pansy. 

 

You hint at her obsession right away, with the emhasis on things being on time. She's calm because the owl comes at the right time and the letter is folded correctly and all of that - and I feel scred for her because these are such precarious things for a person to rest their mental well being on. I know she can't help it, i'm not faulting her. But she seems so fragile when I think of what might have happened if Pansy's mother had asked her father to mail the letter, or if a rainstorm had delayed the owl, or any number of things. Perfect isn't possible, and definitely not every day in every way. 

 

But of course, when all the attention is on you, and there's all this pressure to live up to a family name, it totally makes sense that Pansy would feel like she has to be flawless. It's really a horrible way to feel.

 

I'm so grateful for her father's voice at the end. Amid Draco's dismissal and her mother's perfectionist expectations (whether they are real or imagined), her father responds with concern and love. At least there is someone.

 

The narration in this definitely has the unreliable narrator vibe, and tou did a great job of that. Pansy doesn't hedge in making these cruel self-judgements that a neutral narrator would be unlikely to make. And because she's caught in her misconceptions of herself, it's easy as a reader to get caught there too, and therefore to really understand why this is such a hard cycle to escape from.

 

So many hugs for Pansy, and for you.

 

xoxo Renee

Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 28 Jan 2019 12:26 PM · For: 3. Millicent

Hi Nim!  Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie.

 

Wow.

 

Honestly, it's taking me a minute to formulate thoughts about this chapter, because this was so dark, and powerful, and unexpected - you completely twisted any expectations or preconceived notions that I had of Millicent's character and crafted this terrifying, beautiful chapter from them.  I'm so, so impressed.

 

The use of the second person narrative was incredibly effective in this chapter, particularly as you used it as a way to explore the voices that Millicent heard in her head - we were brought closer to her, to a point that we could hear them and believe in them too, and I think that was a really intelligent decision in your writing.  Even from the outset of this chapter, I got a real sense that Millicent lived in her own world, to an extent - conformed to what was expected of her by her parents and family, and yet she held herself apart.  Like she was carrying around a secret knowledge that protected her, that made her special.

 

And it only got darker from there.  I felt sorry for her, briefly, as she was taunted and bullied by her cousins - but then the scene with her cat, which was ever-so reminiscent of Tom Riddle, was horrifying.  I think that was a first glimpse of the danger that Millicent could really pose, if she chose to.

 

The second half of this chapter really reminded me of a snake - as if Millicent was coiled, watching, waiting, ready to find the right moment to strike.  The way that she held herself apart and removed herself from all the chaos and fighting that was happening around her would be admirable if the ending hadn't been so scary; the idea that she's so powerful and strong and hasn't let anyone see that yet, but she's waiting for her moment, for the path to be cleared, and then she'll pounce.  It was such a powerful and terrifying ending, but what a fascinating and original portrayal of Millicent!

 

Sian :)

Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 28 Jan 2019 12:13 PM · For: 2. Blaise

Hi!  Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie.

 

I'm really excited to get back to this story, after I enjoyed the Pansy chapter so much.  Blaise is a character I've always been so intrigued about, because we know very little about him from canon and he's always quite ambivalent in the scenes that we do see him in - it's very easy to believe that he's constructed himself a mask and the thoughts that are on his lips aren't necessarily the ones that he keeps hidden in his mind.  This chapter was a fascinating exploration of that idea, and I found it so believable and interesting.

 

I loved the way that you opened this with a couple of lines that made us believe that Blaise was just as bad as the rest of them, a pureblood who believed in his own superiority, who was cold and cruel, but someone who preferred to watch others do the hard work, if he had the choice.

 

Then you shattered that illusion with a really powerful, evocative description of his feelings for Theo, and the way that they tormented him constantly.  That was such an effective way to structure the story and I really enjoyed that aspect, the way that you flipped our expectations on their heads.

 

The feelings that Blaise has for Theo are so strong and so passionate, and I really felt sorry for him as he focused on all those lingering glances at Theo that his friend never noticed, and didn't process or understand.  He's torn between wanting Theo to notice and understand, and then the terror of what would happen to him if Theo knew that he was in love with him, and that he didn't conform to the perfect pureblood ideals after all.

 

The ending was so heartbreaking.  I thought it showed just how toxic that culture is, though - not only are people who don't share pureblood blood status condemned by their creed, but those who do and don't conform to expectations of purebloods are condemned as well.  Nobody should have to fear for their own life - from their mother and their best friend - because of love, but it was so believable and heartbreaking in this context.

 

Sian :)

Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 15 Aug 2018 03:46 AM · For: 3. Millicent

Hello again!

 

I’m back for one final review for Quodpot Match 3 because this chapter has zero reviews so far.

 

I have to say that you’ve really done a good job at bringing the Slytherin characters to life. In canon they all seem very superficial, but here you make them so dark and deep. Excellent work!

 

Millicent seems particularly dark. The voices in her head are pretty scary. I mean to think of childhood Millicent wringing the cats neck is terrifying. The voices only get scarier and scarier as this progresses.

 

This makes me wonder... How would the magical community treat schizophrenia? Do they have potions for it? Maybe a psych ward at St. Mungo’s? Is that even what Millicent is suffering from?

 

While I think all three chapters were good, I thought Pansy and Millicent’s chapters were stronger than Blaise’s chapter. I feel like there was a lot more emotion in them. But really that’s my only nitpick.

 

Really excellent work on this! I’d love to see you add more characters.

 

~Kaitlin

Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 15 Aug 2018 02:33 AM · For: 2. Blaise

Hey there!

 

Back to leave you another review for Quodpot Match 3 because this chapter currently has zero reviews.

 

I really enjoyed this portrayal of Blaise. It’s so different from the usual portrayal of him. Usually, he’s shown as cold and unfeeling, but you create so much more depth than that. He’s cold and unfeeling because he’s hiding a secret. A secret that could get him killed.

 

I thought the part about him and the veela was really illuminating. Veelas are meant to enchant all men and he feels absolutely nothing for her. Not even the slightest spark. That makes it clear just how much he loves Theo.

 

I wonder though, would it really be as bad as he thinks it is? What is Theo loves him too? What if the Death Eaters care less about sexual orientation than they do about blood status? I wish he’d at least try.

 

It’s pretty sad to think that Blaise will keep this secret forerver. I wish he could be open about who he loves without fear of repercussions. I imagine him pining over Theo by the fireplace, but careful to keep his actions neutral. Tragic really.

 

I’m headed over to read the next chapter now! Good work. 

 

~Kaitlin

 

Name: forever_dreaming (Signed) · Date: 02 Jul 2018 04:22 PM · For: 1. Pansy

Hi Nim! This story caught my eye as I’m always interested in portrayals of the Slytherin students. And I truly adore your writing. 

 

Every time I read your writing, your descriptions always amaze me a bit. Simply stated: you write so beautifully and poetically and I never want it to stop hahaha. I think in this chapter, the tone was more matter-of-fact than what I’ve seen in your other fics—though I think that’s highly appropriate for a piece revolving around Pansy and her mental illnesses, that her manner of speaking would be a bit matter-of-fact, sometimes even mechanical. 

 

I think your depictions of her disorders were really well done. I empathize so greatly with Pansy and with her struggles, and you really dealt with an extremely sensitive subject with the right amount of candor and grace. What impressed me more was your preservation of her personality. Pansy is still sorta bitchy, still a bit haughty, snooty—still coy and flirtatious when it comes to Draco. Sometimes depictions of Slytherin students try to take the Slytherin out of them, but in fact, you embraced her Slytherinness here. 

 

I really loved the focus on her aspirations to become like her mother. I think that one of the things that compels me so much about Slytherin characters is the importance of family and familial honor—so it makes perfect sense that Pansy would hold her mother as the golden ideal of what she should aspire to become like. What reinforced this for me was your repetition of the phrase “Proper, perfect, Pureblood.” Okay, firstly, I simply adore the alliteration there, especially since Pansy’s name is also an alliteration. I don’t know if that was purposeful, but it was quite clever of you! The phrase ending with “Pureblood” really emphasizes how much of Pansy’s ambitions are guided by her family and her family’s history, which I think really explains many of her actions. 

 

All in all, this was a really insightful character study. Loved it! <3

Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 02 Jun 2018 05:24 AM · For: 1. Pansy

Hello!  It's so nice to see you posting your writing again <3

 

This was such a fascinating chapter!  I really like the concept of this story, focusing on some of the more minor Slytherins, and exploring their characters in more depth.  Pansy is one of those characters that I actually really enjoy reading about, particularly when authors really dig into her character the way that you do here.

 

I think what's so clever about this piece is that, while I still don't like Pansy - I'm not sure that I ever can exactly like her, seeing what she does in the books - I still found her a lot easier to understand in this chapter, and feel much more sympathetic towards her after reading it.  This didn't feel like you were trying to make Pansy likeable, but just genuinely exploring her character, and it was really interesting.

 

The elements of her OCD were very obvious from the start of this chapter - the way that she counts out each individual step and measures the distance in the number of steps she knows it should take her, and the repeated use of the word exactly which shows just how important all of this is to her, and how much of her routine and life is governed by it.  

 

I really liked the way that you used her steps to the window to get the letter as a way to introduce us to other elements of her personality, though, and particularly her relationship with her parents.  I'm not sure whether she actually wants to be a designer, or if it's just another thing that she's doing because she feels it's expected of her, and fits in with her family's image, but you could really sense the way that she felt the pressure around that regardless of whether it's intentional from her parents.

 

The idea of her being a designer and looking up to her mother the way that she does ties in really well with her eating disorder - and the pressure that she's putting on herself to be the perfect person, and look a certain way.  The fact that she's been doing it for so long is really sad, and then that Draco's the only one who's ever noticed and even he doesn't seem to care.  I'm sure this group of Slytherins are all struggling with their own issues, but it's really sad that there's not a strong enough friendship for them to notice and help her with what she's dealing with.

 

The scene with Draco was actually really interesting, and I felt sorry for her again there - the way that she's grown up being told to please him but he really couldn't care less.  Her possessive, affectionate behaviour really takes on a new meaning in that light and it was so interesting to read.

 

I loved the refrain of 'Pansy Parkinson... Proper, perfect, Pureblood.' through the story, as a sort of mantra that Pansy keeps repeating over and over again to try and convince herself that she can attain it.  I like the way that you weaved in the different aspects of her character and the way that she's trying to attain perfection in each of those areas, and become the person that she's expected to be (or has decided she needs to be).

 

This was such a fascinating first chapter, and I really enjoyed the fresh take on Pansy and the way it made me think of her.  I'm looking forward to the future chapters!

Sian :)