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Name: RoxiMalfoy (Signed) · Date: 13 Jan 2019 01:10 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter One

Hey Kris, I'm finally here to review this AMAZING story of yours!! Sorry it has taken me so many years to get here, lol. I am such a terribly slow reader (and an even bigger turtle reviewer, haha!!) =P

 

But OMG, I am already so much in love tho - you really know how to draw the reader in. Quin is such an interesting OC, and I love all of the subtle details that you have woven into this opening chapter about her life, family, personality, and just everything about her already!! I cannot wait to get to know more about her as the story progress.

 

I already adore her and James, and the close friendship that they have with one another. Altho, it seems to me that James may be feeling a tad bit more than just friendship there at times; even if Quinn is completely oblivious to it. I mean, those Bday gifts alone were a romantic gesture in and of themselves, lol! But then there's also the way that he touches her, holds her, kisses her, always ever so gently and carefully. And he is clearly so very protective of her too. - Okay, that's it. This is my new ship!! WHEN can we make James/Quinn a thing, please?!? =P

 

I also really loved their playful banter back-and-forth; especially the apparition part. James is such a boy, haha! And I seriously enjoyed ALL of the pop-culture references that you made all throughout this piece. But OMGGG, the Gandalf impressions things was everything, lol!!! That part was, like, my favorite thing ever, and it made my whole night when I read it, lol!! XD

 

Quinn's granddad is really sweet and love how he just knows her. I also enjoyed the feeling if sibling rivalry between her and Ethan. (And Ziggy the cat is literally the BEST!!) You really seem to have a way with dialogue and writing such seamless relationships between people, and I love how smooth all if your transitions were throughout all if this. You've really given us a great sense of Quinn Jones and who she is as an individual already, and I quite enjoyed how this first chapter sets the tone for the rest of the story.

 

BUT THAT ENDING THO!!! Can we just talk for a sec about that cliffhanger you left us on with Ethan?!? Peaceful chapter, everyone's happy, there's a birthday party, shenanigans in James room occur, she's opening presents, we meet the parents, they're making small talk, getting to know Quinn, and then BAM!!! Bloody brother in the livingroom at ten o'clock!!!! I've already read No Mercy, so I have some clue as to what Ethan's job entails now, and why he may have been covered in blood, and now that I have more context if his character here I just feel so bad for him. I can't wait to learn more about these characters and this brilliant world that you've created here, Kris!! Excellent job! <3

 

~Deana (Magical Menagerie 2019)



Name: MrsDarcy (Signed) · Date: 11 Jan 2019 02:33 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter One

Hi Kris!

 

First of: really loved the opening - I like that it's a 'can't fall asleep scene' instead of a 'waking up scene', which can go wrong in so many ways (eg when the MC just goes to the mirror and describes every detail about their appearance). This really sets the scene and establishes Quinn's close relationship with James.

 

I absolutely adore the way they give jokey presents in front of others and then a meaningful one when they're alone. The type of present also tells a lot about both the giver and the reciever, very clever. R u sure they're not a couple? Gosh love them!

 

I also really like the way Quinn is described as pretty but doesn't seem to have any self-doubt about it - too often the MC's are insecure about their looks only, so I love to see some body positivity.

 

+ the bunny named Fluffy and their cluelessness - love it!!! And I absolutely adore Ziggy the pessimistic cat! He reminds me of my old cat, so I have a lot of feels right now.

 

I really get the feeling that Quinn is outgoing but at the same time finds it hard to bond with people - that she's cold on the surface and it takes time to 'get in'. This could probably be a result of having a bit distant/busy parents and it really adds depth to her character. 

 

Her grandad just casually using the word 'shagging' and 'then I remember I'm the cool grandad' - haha, love him already! I think you incorperated a fair amount of humor - I was a bit afraid it would be very angsty and dark, so I really enjoyed that! 

 

One small nitpick: your characters smirk too much - at least I associate smirking with something mocking - a very minor detail though! 

 

Wow Ethan coming home bloody by the end - a bit of a dark twist!

 

Alright, so as you can tell, I love a lot in this fic - also love your writing. I will be back :D

 

Btw: LOTR beats Godfather any day! 

 

- Beth 



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 29 Dec 2018 03:53 PM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter Five

Hello, Kris! Happy holidays! Made my way back here for your wishlist! :)

Ah, they almost kissed! I know they've been friends since forever and that Quinn is convinced she doesn't have a heart and whatever else it is that is stopping them, but... can you realize you fancy each other and get together already?

The fact that Quinn's family was skrewed up was well known... but yeah, I guess it's rather absurd that her parents would delegate writing a letter to her... *rolls eyes*

I am quite curious about what's going on with Selene here, too... :P Talking about Selene, or rather about Quinn's grampa... Staying up late with James the previous night, almost dying and my general tendency to oversleep that even grandad wasn't able to uproot all resulted in my dorm mates taking it upon themselves to force me out of bed. I suppose if he couldn't uproot it, no one ever will. :P But I feel you, Quinn. Really.

Poor Hermes the rabbit... :( That's such a sad story...but I suppose that kind of accident can easily happen, and maybe Fred is not completely wrong in saying that it was the Professor's fault for keeping the rabbit around during the exam... but maybe a bit indelicate to tell... anyway, the grudge Cavendish is holding is not fair, although understandable. Yes, I have too many thoughts about this...

Lots of gossip material going on... do you think Albus would give such a bad time to Scorpius for dating Lily? I always find so funny the overprotective older brother jealousy... :P He will find out sooner or later, especially if they are so into each other... Quinn had a point...

And Ashley breaking up with her boyfriend? Considering his reaction, maybe she did well. Also, it's been too long since I came here, but do I remember straight that there was a sympathy between her and Fred? And Dominique got a boyfriend, too... mmmh... curious to see how everything will develop...

Sorry, this review is a bit of a mess (I'm tired...) But I enjoyed the chapter! This story is a lot of fun! :)

Happy holidays again, dear!

Chiara



Name: forever_dreaming (Signed) · Date: 19 Dec 2018 03:36 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter Three

Hi Kris! Happy holidays! I'm here to give you a holiday review (...and fulfill a review request from literally months ago oops). 

 

My favorite quote from this chapter: "I really hoped someone didn’t die. I hated the idea of funerals. They sounded dreadfully sad and boring and I didn’t want to take part in that." I find Quinn's emotional suppression simultaneously hilarious and so, so sad--but that makes me appreciate her relationship with James even more. I really loved the tender moment between them this chapter as an illustration of how well James knows her--honestly better than she knows herself--and how he can see past the facade that she puts up.

 

I'm really excited to see the drama unfold. The Teddy-Dom-Scorpius-Victoire love square is such a fascinating dynamic, and I'm especially intrigued by how Teddy looks a lot like an older Scorpius now. Just adds another element of complexity to the dynamic, and I'm sure it's going to be really entertaining to follow in the coming chapters. 

 

I've read No Mercy so I already knew about Logan and Quinn...now I'm just waiting for Ethan and Logan's relationship to develop more. I'm concerned about Ethan and Quinn's relationship being troubled because really, their relationship is so pure, and reminds me of my own relationship with my brother. But at the same time... DRAMA. -evil laugh-

 

Really well done chapter. I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter when I have the chance! <3



Name: you-make-me-wander (Signed) · Date: 17 Dec 2018 11:23 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter One

Hi there, Kris. Here to leave you a little gift :)

So Quinn and James are awfully close, aren't they? I love their friendship and their intimacy and closeness already. Am I guessing/hoping right in that they'll become more eventually?

I'd like to see that, even though I feel for Albus already. I want to know more about his relationship with Quinn, whether he had/has more feelings for her other than it just having been an easy-going relationship, and also whether Quinn's possible relationship with James will force a bridge into his relationship with Albus.

I loved Grandpa. He seems like such a cool guy, almost like a best friend who has to parent from time to time. I love his dynamic with Quinn! As for Ethan, he stroke me as an interesting character and I want to know more about him and what he does. I hope we'll know more about him as the story goes.

And their parents as well! I wanna know more about why they're so absent (if it's just because of their jobs or something else) and what is up with their relationship. It feels as though something is going on that neither Quinn nor Ethan know about.

I very much enjoyed the Quidditch aspect of the story, and I hope it'll be a recurring theme throughout.

A very nice first chapter. I look forward to coming back and continue reading the story.

Happy holidays!

- Susana



Name: Finefrenzy__ (Signed) · Date: 12 Dec 2018 01:02 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter Eight

Hey Kris, I'm hitting two birds with one stone. This review covers the EvS review battle and a nice little gift for you that I got back from the Nifflers. Though, let's be honest here... I would have reviewed this regardless because I enjoy TAOBN.

 

I'm torn about my feelings for Jax. I like him, but I'm concerned the Quinn will actuallyfall for him. Which is not allowed. I am totally team James in this situation. She'd meant to be with James, not Jax.

 

But speaking of James... Teasing me with that locker scene? Pure evil! Here i am, getting all giddy, then you gotta go and do me like that?? That's not fair and I'm so mad, but totally loving the slow build.

 

 

As always, it was a pleasure to read and I can't wait for the next instalment.



Name: juls (Signed) · Date: 04 Dec 2018 11:02 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter Two

Back again for EvS review battle!

Got to say, Kris, this is an extremely interesting story. I'm loving learning about Quidditch here. I saw the words 'Sloth Grip Roll' and I bounced up and down in my seat because we'd learned that move in the Hogwarts A Mystery Game. I never really got much of a chance to play Quidditch on any the RP forums I was on, so this was a great chapter to read on it.

It was also really long... so let's get this review rolling...

I'm sensing more and more that James is interested in Quinn in more than a BFF situation. Yes, he's upset about Albus being hurt over the break up, and possibly being more hurt if he hooked up with Quinn after all this. The girl, though, is oblivious to the infatuation. I wonder what it's going to take for eyes to be opened? A bludger to the cranium? Possibly.

If they do end up in a relation, or a long lasting relationship, they have the best of beginnings - a longstanding friendship. 

Quinn's grandad makes a great coach. He's not lenient on any of them. He doesn't take into consideration that a) Quinn's his granddaughter or b) she's a girl. She doesn't ask for that either. Glad he didn't let her 'give in' and walk off, so much of that happens nowadays.

This though, was the highlight of the chapter: 

I noticed Ziggy on the roof. He looked like he just ate a bird or something. Oh, yeah, there it is. He coughed and a white feather flew out of his mouth. How nice.

Yeah, I'm a succker for sarcastic, cat humor.

Great chapter - looking forward to reading more.

<3 juls



Name: juls (Signed) · Date: 04 Dec 2018 05:07 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter One

Hey, Kris, checking in for the EvS review challenge!!

So, yeah, as promised I'm here to read (and review) your story. I'm pretty sure I began reading it right after I read 'No Mercy' but I didn't leave any reviews - which means, review time. Now, to the meat of the review...

This is pretty awesome, and I love how you you've written the friendship dynamics between Quinn and James. (It does suck to be Albus in this venue, but HEY all's fair in love and war!) I don't know if it's going to get romantic or not, but it's lovely to see a close friendship between them. I'd say sibling-ish, but I don't want it to get icky later.

I love Grandpa. Seriously, he's a natural at the parenting thing since her own parents really aren't because they're focused ob their jobs and teams. I honestly think they're going to regret it later on when they realize just how much of their children's lives they missed.

Poor Ethan - I now know what happened and why he's so bloody and drunk when he arrives home after the summons because I've read 'No Mercy'. It was a great tie in, and I do appreciate that you added that to the mix.

(I'm kind of bouncing from here to there, sorry!)

The broom is pretty awesome, if you asked me. Since Quinn comes from a family of Quidditch players, it does make perfect sense that she's just as devoted to the sport as her parents. Having her Granddad train her, that's like a dream come true. (He reminds me of my own boyfriend with the grandkids. Great characterization there.

 

I will be back for more, I assure you!

<3 juls



Name: adorably cute (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2018 04:19 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter Three

Hey Kris! Here to spread some holiday cheer with a review!

 

I feel so bad that Quinn's fmaily pretty much abandons her on the day of her grandmother's death! She has James, who seems to be her constant, but their way of handling things (a very teenage way) doesn't seem to be the healthiest. I can see why Ash is a little concerned for her a little later in the chapter. BUT I LOVE QUINN AND JAMES, THEY'RE SO GREAT!! It's so wonderful that he goes over to be with her and all of their interactions in this chapter are so amazing. I love when she's teasing him about never bringing another girl back to the dorm and he teases her right back! I just-- I ALREADY LOVE THEM SO MUCH!

 

Dom and Teddy is the couple I didn't know I needed out of this and I'm still convinced something happened with Fred and Ash. When I read that they met up with Albus, I totallly felt like something was going to happen betweem him and Quinn, so I felt super vindicated when it did! But then I felt bad for James right after, watching it happen! He seems to be doing okay a little later when he gets a girl which opens things up for Quinn to find Logan! I'm stilll not sure how I feel about him, more based off last chapter, but I loved his reaction to the morning after. errr you want to hang out?  It was funny to see Ethan, James, and Quinn's grandad waiting for her and Quinn so casual about it. And i loved the ending, with Quinn and James back together just like the chapter started! Such a great chapter Kris, I'm so excited to see where things go from here! All kinds of fun intereactions this chapter, I can see things getting complicated from here!

-Sarah



Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2018 02:11 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter Two

Hello again, lovely!


Honestly her dad hexing Rita Skeeter again is enough to fully win me over. He’s my hero. My one true love. I especially love the temporary insanity excuse.


Yesss! I love quidditch talk. This is so good. YES! Kill them Quinn! Grandad is my actual hero. I changed my mind.


Awww James is her voice of reason. OMG the sweater thing. Fred, she was crazy. Definitely crazy. Ooooh Fred, why do you care about Ash coming? ;)


Yeah that’s totally why James’ arm is around her. Totally. You’ve 100% convinced me. Also her parents’ love story is 10/10 what a good meet cute. I’d die for a spin off of that.


He knows. We all know.


I can’t wait for the next chapter! I’ll be back shortly! :D




Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2018 02:10 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter One

Hi Kris! I’m here for a holiday review and because I live and breathe JSP/OC.


Usually I’m out cold after a good night out, but I can feel her struggle all the same. Omg the birthday hug. My heart can’t handle it already and we’ve just started! I feel like you learn a lot about someone by how they wrap their presents.


The phrase fall of the back of the broom made me laugh. That’s a good one.


OH my poor baby. Stuck between brothers. I bet that’s going to be plenty awkward for the rest of the story. I can’t wait to see how that develops. I hope it doesn’t come between James and Al’s relationship.


Also that flip from joking around about her breaking his heart to the full fury and defense at the thought of him breaking hers. I’m gonna die.


Ziggy might actually end up being the best character I’ve read on any fanfiction. Sorry James and Quinn.


Lol i like Ethan’s term of endearment for her.


Ugh I really just love the relationship between Quinn and James. They are beyond the cutest and I’m in love with both of them. I can’t wait for the next chapter!




Name: Nix (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2018 12:56 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter Three

Hello! I honestly thought I read this chapter already but apparently not...

Anyway! The kids have some interesting relationships. I can't help but be curious about what's going on with Fred and Ash, and Scorpius and Lily, and Dom and Teddy... and of course James and Quinn. All the shouting and drama is a lot of fun to read. I was definitely surprised Logan seemed to be a normal-ish guy after Quinn meets him again. He seemed a little concerning in the last chapter, so it was interesting to see him just acting like an oridinary guy. I wonder what Ethan thought of her sister hooking up with his friend though.

I'm quite curious to see where this story leads, will have to keep reading.

 

xxNix



Name: Nix (Signed) · Date: 01 Dec 2018 04:56 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter Three

Hello! I honestly thought I read this chapter already but apparently not...

Anyway! The kids have some interesting relationships. I can't help but be curious about what's going on with Fred and Ash, and Scorpius and Lily, and Dom and Teddy... and of course James and Quinn. All the shouting and drama is a lot of fun to read. I was definitely surprised Logan seemed to be a normal-ish guy after Quinn meets him again. He seemed a little concerning in the last chapter, so it was interesting to see him just acting like an oridinary guy. I wonder what Ethan thought of her sister hooking up with his friend though.

I'm quite curious to see where this story leads, will have to keep reading.

 

xxNix



Name: Nix (Signed) · Date: 01 Dec 2018 04:56 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter Three

Hello! I honestly thought I read this chapter already but apparently not...

Anyway! The kids have some interesting relationships. I can't help but be curious about what's going on with Fred and Ash, and Scorpius and Lily, and Dom and Teddy... and of course James and Quinn. All the shouting and drama is a lot of fun to read. I was definitely surprised Logan seemed to be a normal-ish guy after Quinn meets him again. He seemed a little concerning in the last chapter, so it was interesting to see him just acting like an oridinary guy. I wonder what Ethan thought of her sister hooking up with his friend though.

I'm quite curious to see where this story leads, will have to keep reading.

 

xxNix



Name: javu (Signed) · Date: 19 Nov 2018 04:23 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter Eight

For starters, I don’t think I’ve said that I appreciate that Dom isn’t the Quidditch beauty; she’s the beauty that doesn’t mind getting her hands dirty with magical creatures! 

 

Osborne is a total jerk. Any girl who’s had a guy block her way can relate. It’s freaking annoying. And to have the guy be bigger is just really frustrating his cocky attitude— well, I don’t blame Quinn for socking him. Good for her! Though it was a bit extreme, but that’s her personality and her tendency to smush her emotions down and so forth.

 

 I’m still hardcore shipping James and Quinn, but Jax is beginning to grow on me. But I feel SO bad for James! Why doesn’t she see that he loves her like crazy and it jealous!! Like why else would he be watching you on the map, Quinn!!!? And how else could you interpret “Well none of them were you.” ??? I had a glimmer of hope when she thought, “I knew what was coming.” When James pulled her down. But apparently the anticipated thing was tickling. Which is adorable. Or maybe she’s in denial and knows that tickling on the ground will almost certainly lead to kissing. 

 

Anyway. Props for teasing the reader and drawing out the tension between Quinn and James! Good job!

 

For review tag.

 

 



Name: godslayer (Signed) · Date: 13 Nov 2018 10:36 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter Eight

i swear every time you post something new i'm like "yeah lets write a coherent, well-structured review" and that just goes RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW

HELLO TIS I

I LOVE IT.

quinn breaking a guy's nose? HERE FOR IT

QUINN AND JAX? also, shockingly here for it. james being jealous and checking in on the marauders map? HERE FOR IT. dom yelling in the common room? hilarious!

and ahsahdlaj that ending pls my soft jinn babies!!!

as always, cannot wait for more!!! 

- em



Name: adorably cute (Signed) · Date: 06 Nov 2018 03:50 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter Two

Hi Kris! Here with your requested review (and definitely excited to be back, it's been too long since I read chapter 1)!

 

Ahhhh, James is definitely in love with Quinn and it's super obvious in this chapter! Between the Quidditch scenes in the beginning and that scene at the bar, it's SO CLEAR that he likes her. Like, I feel like even Ethan knows! Come on, Quinn!

 

Quinn's granddad is SUPER intense when it comes to Quidditch! Of course, she and James seem to be just as intense, so it works! I love Freddy in this chapter. He's so funny while they're at Quidditch practice.

 

WHAT HAPPENED WITH HIM AND ASHLEY?? I'm dying to know what happened there because it's definitely something.

 

I'm super intriguedby Logan and who he'll end up being in the story! I'm honestly not sure what to make of him yet, but I lvoed his introduction to the story! It was definitely neat and intersting and I'm excited to see what happens with him!

 

Still enjoying Quinn! She's fun and I still love her voice as a narrator! Excited to read on! Feel free to request another chapter, but I will definitely be back otherwise (at some point haha)

-Sarah



Author's Response:

hey sarah!

 

i'm really glad you like quinn and her voice - i mean, i'm aware that may change after a couple of chapters because i'm writing the story to show her personality fully and how she changes (or doesn't change?).

 

quidditch is ian's life, and since quinn is deeply influenced by her grandad (and her parents) as well as james, it's a huge thing for her and for james, while fred is in it mostly for the fun of it, since he doesn't want to play pro. and what happened with him and ashley....................is revealed later! :D

 

logan is interesting and i love him but what happens with him is up to quinn :P

 

thanks for the lovely review!



Name: 800 words of heaven (Signed) · Date: 30 Oct 2018 11:28 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter One

Hi Kris! I’m here for September’s Hot Seat review! I realise I’m a full month late, but OH WELL.

 

This was a really fun first chapter to read. I love Next Gen romance, and it’s been simply ages since I’ve read one. Reading this chapter reminded me just how much I enjoy all the tropes and shenanigans of this particular genre! I’m interested to see where you’ll take this story, and what other tropes will pop up, and what your take will be on them.

 

My only real gripe with this first chapter is that it didn’t really read like a first chapter to me. It felt as if I was reading something a few chapters in, which threw me off a little. I was able to follow along with what was going on, but I didn’t feel like I was being introduced to the characters of the story. In some ways, the “cold open” was nice, and often, in the case of fanfics that are so entrenched in the tropes of their particular genre, much exposition isn’t really necessary, as we, the readers, are quite familiar with the setting, the characters, and the general conceit. But I always like a bit of description of the main character when they’re original, as well as a bit of description about your unique take on the Potter family. I’m sure I’ll get to know these characters more as the story goes along!

 

A great start, and I’m looking forward to reading the next chapter

 

Xx 800



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 29 Oct 2018 12:19 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter Seven

Kris! Here for your requested review! :D And I'd be here anyway because... Quinn!

 

Anyway, what a loaded chapter. There's just so much to unpack. Everything's getting really thorny, isn't it? Quinn's social life is a bit of a mess, and I think you do a really good job illustrating it throughout the chapter and on so many different levels. James is your greatest tool in achieving this. He calls Quinn out on her impulses and wrongdoings in a very endearing way. He lets Quinn fight back before she eventually realizes that he's right. It takes a very special person to do that, and I think your characterization of James is really good in that regard. I'm curious to see how that will change once he's more in tune to how he truly feels about her (because, deep down, I know he's head over heels with her, and vice versa--that sexual tension she feels around James is electric!). 

 

Rita Skeeter has a knack for turning anything into a mess, and her article does just that! It's a good way to connect the readers to what's happening in the outside world. But I wonder what's exactly true in this article. The bit about James and Quinn is generally false, though their interaction at The Howler has a bunch of repressed and unrealized feelings thrown in the mix. So what about her parents? Are they have martial issues or something else entirely? And her granddad? Heavens, Ian is such a mysterious character. I know that he's very influencial, and it seems like people are ready to believe the lengths he'll go to in order to achieve a goal. Hmmm... the plot thickens!

 

Looking forward to what's in store, Kris! :) 



Author's Response:

helloo!

 

hah, i think james is the only one quinn would ever listen to even if she might not actually listen/do what he suggests. i think he'll never stop calling her out on the stupid/bad things she does - somebody needs to be there to do that :P quinn does have to grow up and learn not to take out her anger on everyone around her...

 

well, rita skeeter does sprinkle some truth here and there, or otherwise just twists something true into something else.....so there's definitely something in that article, but....who knows what haha :P

 

i love ian and i'm tempted to write a one shot about him but i've sworn off other plunnies for the time being....at least until i finish chapter 8 of TAOBN :D

 

i'm glad you're interested and thought it was a good chapter - i know it's shorter than my other ones but i thought it was a good place to end it and not end up with a monster chapter 7 :)

 

kris



Name: javu (Signed) · Date: 21 Oct 2018 09:13 PM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter One

Hey there! Here's the review that you requested. But first, confession: I've actually read all seven chapters and I've loved them. I didn't review as I read, but I guess it works out, cuz I get to review now!! 

 

First, I really like Quinn's and James' relationship. To be honest, I'm a little envious. I've always wanted a guy friend like that. Maybe not as touchy-feely, but yeah. With Quinn and James, I can tell that there's years worth of companionship and trust. It's nice :) But since there's such a foundation to the friendship, that makes it adorable that Quinn doesn't see James as a potential romantic partner. Or at least, she doesn't consider it at this point in the story. 

 

I feel bad for Quinn. Her parents are so busy, even on her birthday. And I can tell that it's been like this her whole life/most of her life. So I'm glad she has her grandfather. Her brother seems cool too. 

 

I really like the name you came up with for her broomstick, the Stormwind. It's dope. It's always interesting to see what people come up with for broomsticks based in the future. Some people do the next version of a Nimbus or the Firebolt, which is fine, but I like to see the names people make up for a new brand. In one of my stories, I came up with RocketStar. Just off the top of my head. Stormwind is so much cooler :D 

 

For Quinn's character, I like her. She's funny, driven, ambitious, independent, and confident. Yet she has another side to her that's actually quite sensitive and vulnerable, though she would never admit to it. She's used to covering up things that hurt her: brushing aside the guilt of dumping Albus, masking her hurt and frustration with her parents' lack of attention, and more things in future chapters. But all of that has made her who she is -- she's learned to fend for and stick up for herself. If Quinn was a real person, and we were talking, and she said "I don't have a heart," I would counter her by saying it's not that she doesn't have a heart, it's that she's afraid to open up and trust the unknown. Deep down she's afraid to take risks with relationships because she's afraid if she'll open up, that person will hurt her. 

 

AND THAT'S WHEN JAMES COMES IN AND <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

 

Anyway. Good chapter and good story. I eagerly await your future chapters. 

 

- Aubrey 



Author's Response:

aww, this was a really wonderful review to read!

 

hahah, i'm also envious of quinn and james' friendship - i wish i had something like that in my life, with a guy or a girl, it doesn't matter just as long as we're super-friends :D

 

since you read the rest of the story, you probably see in the first chapter a lot more foreshadowing of quinn's future reactions and the way we see her family life deteriorating...it starts out kinda cool, but then with each chapter there's more and more ignoring and growing resentment from quinn - it's something i wanted to show slowly and how her own perception changes when her parents are actually around and when they're not.

 

i had a bunch of versions for the new broomstick's name (i think i spent way too much time on thinking them up hahha) but my fellow slytherins helped me pick out the Stormwind out of all of them - i'm glad you like it!

 

i think you've got a pretty good grip on quinn as a character - some people that have read the story so far really don't like her and i understand that, but i also hoped i'd be able to show the part of quinn that's not what she shows to the outside world (and even how she tries to fool herself) :D

 

thank you for the lovely review!!

 

kris



Name: godslayer (Signed) · Date: 17 Oct 2018 09:29 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter Seven

ahdlsahdakf you know how to kill a gal. You know how to kill a gal for sure. 

"who looked as if he was contemplating murder due to heartache." 

HELLO IF YOU NEED ME IM SIX FEET UNDER

I don't even have words and I've re-read this like four times. Ten billion stars, would recommend, cleared my skin, watered my crops, fed my children. 

 



Author's Response:

ahhhh, thank you!!!!

 

yeah, i just had to include a little bit of truth (but which bits?!?!?) in that article and make james have to play it off as something else because well....rita doesn't only write lies :P poor james.

 

i've already told you that your reviews mean a lot so thanks for leaving this one as well!!



Name: Nix (Signed) · Date: 14 Oct 2018 11:56 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter Two

Hey Kris! I'm still very into this story. James is definitely starting to show signs of feelings for Quinn I think, even if he doesn't know it yet. 

 

I'm very intrigued by their family dynamic, their grandfather clearly being a very tough Quidditch coach whether or not family is involved. And Ethan's job seems to be getting more interesting and I'm quite curious about this new guy, Logan, but not sure if he's the best option for Quinn. Of course, according to Quinn she doesn't have a heart and I don't see her interest in the guy going beyond a physical interest. 

 

I am quite curious about how her breakup went down with Albus and how they were as a couple, and I'm quite excited to finally meet him when they all go in to Diagon Alley together. This was a very enticing chapter, and I definitely look forward to reading on!

 

Keep up the good work!

xxNix



Author's Response:

poor logan, nobody likes him! but he's cool and well...you'll see what happens in the next chapter :P and ethan's job is probably the most interesting one, i think? well, star quidditch players are famous and all that but hit wizards are shadow-y people who do mysterious things so...i like writing little hints about his job!

 

i think you'll see plenty of al in the next chapter, and him trying to win quinn over, but quinn is unpredictable and al might be better off without her? maybe :D

 

thank you for the review!



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 14 Oct 2018 04:15 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter Seven

KRIS THIS WHOLE CHAPTER WAS SO GOOD OMG

 

^ I feel like I should point out that this chapter has been open on my computer for a week now, and that was the only part of the review I had managed to put together, lol.

 

The way that you've handled the aftermath of the party in this chapter was fantastic, and (as always) filled with Jinn tension. And I think it's really starting to fully kick in on Quinn's side? Even if she's still completely oblivious to it? I also like that he called her out on everything - both the Al thing and the thing with Ash and Dom. And Ash's comment here was spot-on; Quinn paints herself as completely heartless, but that's not really true. Even some of the worst things she does (like the flirting with Al last chapter) isn't done from a place of heartlessness; there's almost always some sort of emotion behind it, in some way or another.

 

But holy smokes, that Prophet article. I mean, damn, way to hit an entire family at once. There were truly no holds barred on that one - it'll be incredibly interesting to see how things play out from here as a result of it. But oh my gosh James having to play off his reaction to Quinn hooking up with Logan is 10/10. And Quinn's letter at the end is... just so her, and probably the only proper reaction to a newspaper article like that anyways.

 

I'm intrigued to hear more about what actually happened - I'm excited for the next chapter!!

 

-Taylor



Author's Response:

hahah i do love that first sentence of your review! :D

 

jinn tension was plenty here, yes, but quinn is still trying to find excuses eh :P and james calls her out on stuff but ultimately lets her off, kind of? he's basically just enabling her because he can't help himself, which is obviously not a good quality but...i think you've got a good read on quinn - her actions are just a result of emotions swept under the rug and sometimes, like after the party, she does realise that what she did was just to make herself feel better (for example), she doesn't like acknowledging it.

 

omg that article gave me so much trouble, idk how long it took me to write it...poor james, almost being outed by fred :P

 

hahha i actually laughed out loud when i wrote quinn's letter, i just found it really funny at the time but you're definitely right, idk what else she could've written and she's shown before that she's a bit haphazard with her letters (when she wrote to ash about the diagon alley thing) so just randomly ripping out a piece of parchment to scribble the letter was something i couldn't pass on. now she might actually get some news from home. might. :P

 

thank you for the review!!



Name: Finefrenzy__ (Signed) · Date: 11 Oct 2018 11:42 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter Seven

Hey Starbuck :) I'm here for the Slytherin Review Swap (but between you and me, I'd still be leaving a review without it)

I was so excited to see that you had updated, and hurried to read the this chapter. As always, I throughly enjoyed it. I especially liked the news article written by Rita Skeeter. I feel as though you encapsulated that completely abhorrent woman, and her writing style expecptionally well.

I have a little constructive critisim tbis time round, so I will do my best to make it clear how I felt. Sometimes, I felt that the pacing was off in some parts, at least comparatively to your early chapters. Personally, I would have liked to see fewer events, but in greater detail. Or just more detail, hehe ;) For example, I really think there could have been more internal monologue after Ash had said her piece. I think that Quinn's character development would of benefited from a deeper reflection of what Ash had just said to her, rather than the reader only being told she thought about it about it for a moment, then her thoughts drifting to James. I want to know how Quinn feels, how her mind works, and I want to see her challenged and to grow. I feel that it was a missed opportunity to explore and develop Quinn and her other friendships outside of James. I do hope that you don't take my words negatively, but I felt a bit of a disconnect with Quinn's character for the first time in this story.

 

I do realise that the word count for this chapter is shorter than some other's, and as a result, has potentially skewed my view. I will say this though; I'm selfish and needy, and I won't satisfied until I know what happens next!

 

Still a fabulous chapter and I genuinely look forward to reading the next installment.



Author's Response:

i actually went though all the GoF articles she wrote to get a sense of how JKR wrote rita's style and i was really struggling with the article so it's nice to know it's not awful :P

 

aha! but quinn is a master at sweeping things under the rug and actively not-thinkingTM about things she doesn't want to think about, which makes her an incredibly difficult character to both write and (i think?) read and connect with her. like in the story, the people in her life have trouble being close to her, they're trying, but she's not letting them. it's almost a miracle she manages to maintain these friendships, especially with james, with whom she's the closest. so, while i do understand the CC, i thought it was important to really show this aspect of her character.

 

i actually decided to split what was supposed to be chapter 7 into two because there's things i planned for it that would've resulted in maybe an 8k chapter so i thought it best to split it instead of having such a long chapter :D

 

thank you for the review!



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 06 Oct 2018 03:41 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Chapter: Chapter Six

Hey Kris! I am here for your requested review! (And now I can boast that I'm caught up... until you [hopefully soon] update!).

 

Oooh, Quinn is starting to let her emotions towards her parents' neglect. While I don't want her to have to go through the heartache of rather (perhaps unintentionally) unsupportive parents, I think it's important for her to process these emotions for the sake of her mental health! I'm worried for her, especially her blow up with her friends and her wavering lack of control at Quidditch try outs. Let the inevitable breakdown commence! (And I'm rooting for her to come out on top!)

 

But that party... Oh, Quinn. You're better than that.

 

Albus, snog that other girl, let Quinn go, and move on. Easier said than done. But... yeah, you don't need that in your life. There's a better match for you!

 

See what you've done, Kris? I'm giving unsolicited advice to your characters. This is a testament to how you've set up your charactertization. Well done! You've created lots of tension between her and everyone else. I wonder if people are going to keep prodding her or if they're going to drop her. Quinn would be difficult to maintain a friendship with. But that's what makes Quinn an interesting character. I'm looking forward to what comes next!

 



Author's Response:

aaah, i think you'll find that quinn is really a master of sweeping things under the rug in the next chapter...well, at least for a little while (and of course james is there to help her, because how could he not?)

 

i'm laughing at your reaction to the party and quinn's actions and al (who was very easily distracted from the other girl), but yep, quinn was really at a low point by the end of this chapter and she just had to go and do something that's, er, not very nice. poor al!

 

she really is a difficult character, her personality can be kind of toxic sometimes but underneath all that is quinn who does these things not out of spite but out of her buried emotions...i think haha?!



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