I do enjoy these characters! Quinn stays true to herself and I really love how she’s so firm in her ways. How awkward she gets when confronted with feelings and emotions. How she detests liars and she’s angry with herself for hoping that Wood might be more then just a one night stand but of course still less then anything substantial. I'm disappointed that he lied too was hoping for her to get her thing on. I think its funny how both James and her are both starting to feel physical attraction (though I suspect James has likely known for years how he feels about Quinn or at least knows that its more then just a friendship) where as Quinn is sitting there thinking man I must need a certain with scratched lol! I'm really excited about the side story about Fred and ash and I hope their relationship improves poor Fred lol! I like Sean Blackwood. He sounds like a very interesting character that is like to get to know more about!
eeeeek ! Can’t wait for more!!!!!
Hey Kris! Here for your requested review! :)
Lots of drama in this chapter, oh my!!! James and Quinn's argument was well built up. I really liked seeing more of Dom and Ash in the beginning of the chapter, but I also enjoyed reading their annoyance at James. I can see him getting along with them rather well... when he isn't trying to play knight in shining armour for Quinn.
I feel like James and Quinn have moments of stability and then it's "unleash the kraken" (aka pure chaos). I'm curious to know if it's because they're still blind to their feelings towards one another (I think Quinn is still, though I think James has pretty much caught on by now--at least, how HE feelings about her). Their relationship is very dynamic, and I look forward to seeing how they help each other grow. Right now, they're pushing each other's buttons!
Also... Teddy and Dom? Woof. That's drama I don't want to be anywhere near when that becomes out in the open!! I do appreciate how Quinn doesn't judge based on who she sleep with, but she does question the morality and the logic behind this situation!!
And Quinn's tension with Al was weird! Sure, she was leading him on, but... they've broken up. I wonder why he's so hung up on her. And there's going to be some intersibling tension in this fic, eh? Dom-Vic-Ted and Al-James-Quinn!!!
Ethan!!! I love how he seeks out Quinn after his good friend dies. But he delivers a lot of heavy news. Things are looking too bright for the Jones's at the moment... but James comes by at the very end, giving Quinn the proper amount of support she needs... I wonder if he'll learn from this (maybe not for a while,lol, but let's see the drama unfold in the meantime!).
Another good chapter, Kris!
Hey Kris~ Here for our review swap!
It feels very double-standardy for North to deduct points for Quinn's attire and not James. Grr. And it's worse when James and Quinn came in together and both are breaking the same rule.
About Fred not waking them up. I feel like he's secretly rooting for them to get together. Maybe he tried to wake them up (or maybe he didn't). But I feel like he didn't try very hard, for the sake of encouraging them to get together.
Hmm. Cheating. Okay, not cheating, but playing just clean enough for it not to be a foul. Right, because that's going to work. And Quinn is totally in control of her emotions and won't fall for Osborne's taunts and lose it and actually commit a foul. I'm totally convinced.
Not. She's so not going to keep it together in the match. She might for a bit, but someone will make a comment about James or something, and she'll crack and committ a foul. I feel like it's going to be a big one, too. If that's going to happen, then good on your part for building up conflict and tension and whatnot.
On another note, I feel like this not-dirty-but-yeah-dirty playing isn't really Gryffindor. Unless it's like Quinn's form of justice and making things right by playing just as dirty. I do admire James for being noble and not wanting to put himself on the same level as the Slytherins. But I'm saddened that he agreed with Quinn so fast. I don't want James to be wrapped around Quinn's finger. Makes for an interesting story with that character flaw though.
Though one of these days I would like James to really, sincerely stick up for himself. He's always in Quinn's wake and usually does what she wants him to. (Okay, not always. He hooked up with that one chick in the tapestry, and they got into that argument) but ya know? Like on a deep level. Honestly, I think that might get Quinn's attention more. It might put some space between them, but in a good way. It might make Quinn see James in a different, new light.
Wonderful, as always. Good job!
Hey, Kris! Here for the EvS March Review Battle! (Couldn't sleep, so, what they hay, right?)
First off, I hate Rita Skeeter. Statement of fact. Does that woman have any redeeming qualities at all? Nope.
This chapter was pretty good. The story is moving along nicely. I hope that Quinn takes James' words to heart, because he's kind of stuck in the middle here with being poor Albus' big brother and Quinn's best friend. Sometimes it does pay not to get involved with family of your close friends. It can get a little ugly after the break up.
Quinn's family is just a wee bit crazy. I wonder, is Rita making up all that stuff about her father having an affair? It's typical of her, seeing as how she's been sensationalizing the news since forever. (I don't consider her a reporter really. If you think about it, she's more a tabloid writer. If that...)
The granddad. I hope he's not getting into any sort of trouble trying to help Selena Zhang. Skeeter is just stirring up way too many pots, and is going to cause more problems than there are with her silly stories. *sigh*
Anyhow, looking forward to the next chapter! (I just noticed there's not too many chapters to go for me. I shall have to savor each one then, right!)
I'm here to drop off a review for our swap! I've read a lot of your one-shots during the magical menagerie and I've been meaning to stop by and check out The Art of Being Nonchalant for the longest time. I'm glad to finally get here.
Quinn immediately strikes me as someone with a very strong personality and a lot of opinions. That comes through very clear in the way that she thinks about her family, what's happening between them, her relationship, her friends, etc. I found her pretty relatable and I think her insight into the things happening around her really helped center me in her world. (which is great since I don't know a whole lot about it yet.)
I love the concept of both of her parents being international Quidditch stars. It sounds like it makes life very hectic for the family and I would imagine it would put a fair bit of pressure on the kids too. It would be hard growing up in the shadows of famous people. (Maybe that's why Quinn gets along with James so well?)
Quinn's grandpa is adorable. He's the right amount of sweet, caring, and crass. He speaks pretty directly, but is clearly thoughtful and devoted to his family. His interactions with his granddaughter seem very natural.
And then there's the fact that Quinn was dating Albus when I get the strong impression that she should be dating James. While I am a big believer in co-ed friendships (my best friend is a guy), I do think that James and Quinn have a lot more going on between them than just a platonic friendship. There's a lot of affection and the sort of chemistry you see between long-term couples. So that begs the question....Why was Quinn with Albus instead? My guess is that she might be commitment phobic and instead of allowing herself to fall in love with James, she goes for Albus because he's safe and she can keep him at an arm's distance.
This was a lovely start so far! After all the praise this received during the FROGs, I figured it would be good. I wasn't disappointed.
Hi, Kris! Here for our swap! Hope it wasn't too long of a wait... also, thank you so much for your wonderful review on Jimmy! :)
Okay, so... what does it say of me that my favourite characters in this story are the pets? :P Like, Siriusly, I'm in love with Ziggy! I'm sure I've mentioned it a couple of times already...
Quinn is... I'm not sure... I'm actually feeling sad for her? It won't kill you to open up with people, Quinn, you know? I get that it's not easy, believe me, but the whole point of having friends is that they can support you in moments of need... it could actually be good for you to just express your feelings from time to time... but, you know, your choice... *shrugs*
Quidditch tryouts are always fun moments! I really enjoyed that whole sequence! :D You're too sociopathic to ever be a Quidditch Captain, Quinn. Have to agree with Fred there... anyway, it was lovely to see the new team form. And I loved every little James/Quinn moment/exchange. He truly cares for her, I wish she would stop being so stubborn... but she's she... *shrugs again*
I thought the Slytherin girl was Wendy's sister? Instead they are a couple? Sweet! For some reason I really liked to see them together at the party. :)
Fred was nursing a glass of Serpentgin next to James and staring at Jonathan who was, in turn, staring at Ash who was dancing in the middle of the dance floor with a couple of girls. There was a lot of staring. This paragraph was hilarious! You are so funny! I love your writing style!
Quinn! You don't go flirting with a guy you broke up with and who's just found someone else and then just throw him away again! That's not nice! Not at all! And... Albus Severus Potter! Yes, I'm talking to you! You can't be with a girl and then kiss on the neck another girl under her eyes as if she isn't even there! What the hell is wrong with you, boy? I get that you are not over Quinn, but do you realize how humiliating this must have been for the girl you are currently... dating, I guess? It's just so disrespectful! I can't believe you! Either of you!
Poor Jax... (okay, I don't remember who Jax is... sorry...) Looks like he and Quinn have a few things in common? Being completely ignored on the day of your birthday, from your own parents... people are so inconsiderate... what's wrong with all your characters, honestly? But I guess that's what makes this story so funny and unique and interesting! ;)
Lovely work, I enjoyed this chapter so much! Also, can I add that I can totally see why you were nominated for best dialogue for FROGS? Your dialogue here is so good, I love it! :D And your writing style in general, but I think I mentioned that already!
Thank you so much for swapping, dear! We should do it again soon! :D
Lots of love,
Hai there! I'm here for our swap, which has given me an opportunity to finally read this story, which has been on my TBR for a while :P
I really loved this first chapter! The opening scene is so great; it sets up the dynamic of Quinn/James perfectly while giving us a good feel of Quinn's character. She's clearly comfortable sneaking around the Potter house and we get the sense that she's been there before. Also, I totally relate to the not being able to sleep after drinking thing; it's terrible :/
My favorite thing about this is probably Quinn's relationship with James. It's definitely something special.They're so tender and soft with each other, but they also roughhouse and call each other on their crap. It seems like James is already in love with Quinn, and I think she might be, too -- she's definitely in denial but I think he might be slightly more aware of his feelings. Their birthday tradition is super adorable, and I think you did a great job of writing the conflict when Quinn told James she broke up with Albus.
Quinn is a great leading lady, too. Even in chapter one, we can see some of her flaws; she's cocky and appears to be heartless in her dating life, but she's very close with James, and she loves her family. She has a very interesting relationship with her parents in particular, but it's refreshing to see that they all clearly love each other, even with their busy lives. It's nice that they all got together for Quinn's birthday ♥
Also, her grandfather is the freaking cutest? I'm glad she has a constant like him in her life, same with James.
I'm very curious to see how this plays out, and the last line -- "It felt reassuring to have him here" is almost ominous, like he's not always going to be and I'm eager to know what's going to cause that :P
Thanks for the swap -- let's do it again soon! ♥
Just me again!
So I thought I would reread this and review it this time around!
I really love her brother, he is a favourite of mine in this series mostly because they are so close as siblings. Something I really feel strongly about. He can tell when something bothers her, they train together, they have such a great relationship.
The foreshadowing here is like BAM in your face, and I am really enjoying the introduction of Selene (I mentioned in another review that I really like her) it is a great way to introduce such an in-your-face character!
The grand-dad is still a creature of my very heart, pissed off, grouchy, and swears a lot but also has loyalty and love down to a T.
I love a good makeup and even more a fabulous slowburn<3 I <3 James! You do such an amazing job writing his character, he must be terrified of ruining his friendship with Quinn because its obvious he's no newbie to sex love and all that jazz. I am stoked for more!!!!!
Hey Kris, here for your requested review!
Recently the thing I've been trying to be better on myself is trying to help my readers not be lost when they start a new updated chapter. (If others are like me, then the lines between the dozen or two current novels sometimes blurs.) And when I started your chapter, I immediately noticed that this chapter's beginning is a bit of a recap of last chapter. This a gentle reminder of what occurred, but it is written so smoothly in the writing. It doesn't feel like a "Hey guys, here's what happened. Remember that? Yeah, that's important." You write Quinn doing/thinking something that actually propels the plot while being a gentle reminder. It's great!
If I were to sum up this chapter in two words, it would be: "UGH QUINN!" Seriously though. How does she not see that James fancies her!!!?? I think deep in her subconscious she knows but she's too afraid to tap into that. And it feels like everyone else knows! Freddie: "Nothing, forget I said anything," he muttered, "I just thought ... Nothing, let's go." Freddie knows the inevitable. Just embrace it, Quinn, embrace it!
If I were you, I would be careful with Jax. I understand that he's to be a distraction and a foil for James, but I'm getting rather fond of him. He sticks up for Quinn, he protects her (not that she needs it though lol) from Osborn, and they have chemistry. And they both have family drama. They share a lot in common. I'm of course still rooting for James! But well i don't know. I mean, yes, you want readers to be biting there nails and agonizing about a love triangle. But at the same time, you don't want it to be that when Quinn does get with James that we feel let down.
I am really waiting for something to give here. You've really built up the tension between James and Quinn. I'm not sure how much longer it can drag out. I'm eagerly rubbing my hands together, waiting for the day when the blow-up happens and Quinn's world really falls apart. I'm hoping it happens soon!! As for this Trinity chick and why James let her jump him? Well, Quinn did see the marauder's map in his back pocket, though it was blank. But James could have quickly cleared it before Quinn came. So it could be James trying to make Quinn jealous. I'm pretty sure that's it. And I can't see Quinn being too happy about that if/when she finds out that that's the case.
Good chapter! Looking forward to 11!
ahh, thank you! i actually kind of didn't think of the first couple of paragraphs in that way while i was writing them but now that you mention it, they do sort of act like recaps even though they came naturally when i wrote them haha. thank god they don't literally sound like recaps, though :P
yeah quinn is very frustrating and jax...i keep getting mixed responses about him (which i kind of love because it means i managed to make him a real character, not just a prop for drama) - some people really don't like him, some people like him and ship him with quinn. i didn't want to make him into a bad guy or someone who is obviously wrong for quinn because i guess that would've been easy (like with logan...he's totally messed up and older and a hit wizard so not a good idea for a 17 year old) but you're right in saying that he has a lot in common with quinn as opposed to james who has a (huge) stable family, parents who care about him properly and all that...
i can safely say that something will happen in chapter 11 (well...if it turns out to be too long then maybe 12 but the plan is 11) *insert cackling* you're sort of on the right track re: james&trinity......not going to say what's right and what's wrong but some of it is right :P
thanks for the awesome review (i really love it when people analyze my characters - it gives me another insight into them and more inspiration to continue writing *_* )
Hey Kris! Here for our swap!
Ahhhhhh!!!! This chapter!!!! I can't tell you enough how awesome it is to jump back into this story. Right away, I'm exposed to these strong characters, on their own missions, driven.
I really enjoyed the Osborne and Wood scene. Quinn is brilliant here: the way she punches Osborne (yes, lol, it was fun to cheer her on in this one) and then that tension with Jax... it was all soooo good! I love how you have her so determined to protect herself (breaking of the nose) and then the overwhelming need to be wanted (her toying with Jax). Quinn is a bit of an emotional mess, especially dealing with her rather neglectful parents and her quirky brother and granddad. You do a great job showing us her insecurities and subconscious desires.
Speaking of unconscious desires, does James KNOW that he fancies Quinn? Because that broken inkwell and her changing in the lockeroom and Fred's comments make it seem like he has realized it... and he's not acting on it! Sure, there's the whole history with Al thing going on... and maybe James doesn't want to lose what he has with Quinn, but come ON man, you fancy her, ask her out! ;) I know that you're not going to give us this ship THAT easily, but it's still fun to try to persuade him, lol.
Fred: I really want to know what's going on in that kid's mind. Quinn noticed SO many facial expressions of his throughout the chapter, and I could almost hear his snarky remarks. Oh Fred, I hope your filter doesn't stay up forever, because I want to know what's on your mind! ;)
Great chapter, Kris. I'm sure I'll be back for more soon! :D
Hey, back for more EvS fun. Go team Emerald!
I will agree, Quinn's ego is horrible. She needs to actually let Albus go, if that's her intention. If she hurts him too much, I doubt James will be happy.
I admire your skill at writing Quidditch. I've never truly been a sports fan, myself. Sure, I follow a few of the American Football teams. Cheer for them, play something called Fantasy Football (where you compete with teams made up of real players from the real teams. It's fun, but my I introduced my boyfriend to it - and he's turned into a monster at it.) So - as I said, you're great at writing Quidditch. Gave me a much better understanding of it. Even if this was just a tryout for the team.
I love your little Lily. She's a dynamo. Can't wait to see more Quidditch games with her in it.
And - you surprised me with a Nott in Gryffindor. I was just as 'blinky' eyed as Quinn over it. Seems times are truly changing. For the good, at least. Thankfully. Glad to see her make the team - and not end up breaking every bone in her body. Quinn's directions were truly evil, by the way.
Lysander. I'll admit I have a certain weakness for that name. Everytime I see it, it reminds me of former RP character with that name. (Since I created him back before DH came out, he was NOT named after the JKR character twins. Thankfully. One day, he and his vampire uncle, Leander will show up in a story!)
I now feel for Jax Wood. His parents suck just as much as Quinn's. Hopefully you have something good planned for him in future chapters. He truly sounds like he could be interesting character.
Anyhow - I wish I could give this chapter more than a 10. Simply for all the amazing Quidditch stuff.
Hey, Kris, back for the EvS battle and the epic team emerald!
I like how you continued on with the aftermath of the almost accident. Allowing them to continue to work through their emotions. Got to feel for poor James in this situation. The girl you love almost smooshes herself into a pancake on a stick, but you have to act. Adreneline surging through.
I just want to say, Quinn's parents are CRAP. I'm sure they must love their kids, but EVERYTHING is placed before them. Do they not realize what they're losing by ignoring them? I feel for Grandad though, he is too old to be caretaker for these crazy kids.
But grandad seems to be involved in some stuff anyhow. Was he some sort of spy or hit wizard or something? I smell a bit of mafia (wizarding style, of course!) here.
I love the fact that their trying to hide the fact Lily is snogging/shagging Scorpius from her brother. Poor Scorpius should it be discovered before James is told. At least Albus' friendship should count for something in this matter, right? Possibly...
Anyhow, you have a fabulous chapter here! Can't wait to read more.
Hey there, Kris, it's me! Back for the EvS review battle (and Team Emerald!)
So anyhow, I didn't like this chapter. I loved it. The dynamics again between your characters is spot on. They seem comfortable together and not stilted or off setting. Which shows how great of a writer you are.
So - James finally told Quinn how he felt, but did a quick back track to cover it up. BAD James, but he's probably right, it's still too early for to accept the truth. But, it was something she needed to hear from <i>someone</i>. I definately am NOT a fan of her parents. I love her grandpa, even with all his faults, because he does care.
Ethan though, poor dude. (I've finally caught up to the bits of the one shots I read make sense now.) He's had the same upbringing as Quinn, and he's emotionally suffered for it too. I hope they have some sort of support programs for Hit Wizards' burn out in place. Seriously.
Anyhow - that broom race was pretty thrilling. I do wish broom riding was a real thing. I mean, come on, it's been rumored for <i>centuries</i> that witches and wizards could ride brooms. Why can't <i>one</i> thing about them be true? Right?
James... poor James... I'm betting his heart was up his throat and almost out. Glad he's got a quick wand, and that he saved her. It would have been tragic to end the story here.
On the ending note of my review, James is showing off his feelings again, and I'm seeing a bit of relization from Quinn. Good job on the slow burning of their relationship, Kris!!
Hey, there, it's me doing a review for the March EvS review battle. Go Team Emerald. Got to love that shade, am I right?
I love Ziggy and Odin. Their frenemy relationship is something to behold. Kind of like siblings. The 'I can mess with you, but no one else can'. I've watch my cats do the treat steal thing, and you sure have got that right.
So, bribery works once again. Lucky Odin that Quinn was in a bribing mood. It helped that she needed to get a hold of James 'right then'. I don't even think she realizes her own feelings for the oldest Potter boy, but I think James has an idea on it. Has he slways had feelings like that for her, I wonder?
Hopefully Quinn wakes up on that soon. He seems like a keeper.
I love how you've wriiten the friendship dynamics between all of the cousins and Quinn. They're an amazingly huge bunch of characters, and you've managed to give them all a distinctive style and personality of their own. I feel for Albus, truly, but I can even tell that when cuts you off - it's off. I found it cute that she was jealous of James dancing with some one else.
I feel for James at the end. I truly do.
All in all, this story is shaping up to be fantastic. You've handled all of the multiple characters very well when needed. I can't wait to read further on and figure out what's up with Dom and her stalking of her sister's boyfriend, Teddy.
(Who doesn't love Teddy, right?)
Here for EvS! Very glad this event got me to start reading this.
Quinn’s reflection on her own behaviour is sad, but a good sign. It shows me that she does have the decency to feel bad about acting in a less than kind way. Which is a good thing, certainly.
James has be pretty conflicted here because someone he cares a lot about is sort of purposefully hurting his brother. I feel for him, being stuck in the middle that way.
Ooooh, Rose! That course of events that led to her black eye is so hilarious. James’ playing with Quinn’s hair is very, very interesting. I wonder when they will just go ahead and admit it.
James has the Marauder’s map! I love it. I’ve always wanted one of Harry’s children to get to hold onto that. It’s too cool to let go to waste.
Ash is entirely right about Quinn and I’m glad that maybe someone will finally get through to her - if possible. She needs someone to shake her awake a bit. And for god’s sake, I can’t wait for her to realize what all of these thoughts about James are all about, I’ve rarely shipped anyone so much.
Wow, you’ve really nailed Rita’s tone. This is just a savage takedown of the entire family. It’s a wonder to me that people still believe the things she says, but it’s entirely believable, honestly. There is so much to unpack in that article, wow. It kind of does feel like some of it has bits of truth in it, but I can’t be sure which parts are stretched and which are legitimate.
The letter that Quinn sent at the end is SO PERFECT. You write these things that feel like people will quote them back for ages - it’s so awesome. I really enjoy this so much, I can’t stop reading.
Back for EvS!
Oooh, parties in the Room of Requirement! I’m always interested to see how different writers see it being used by Next Gen characters. I’ve seen stories where literally everyone knows about it and where it is and others where it is basically a total mystery to people.
I can’t believe no one has filled Quinn in on the whole sociopath showing up in the kitchen business. I wish she didn’t feel that her problems were her own, but I see she’s not going to take my advice any time soon :/
Quinn actually has the perfect personality to be a Beater haha. I can’t really imagine her filling any other role on the pitch. I can’t wait for Lily to be on the team, I want to see more of her in general after the drama at Diagon!
Quinn is cold-blooded about Quidditch haha, I hope she doesn’t get anyone injured.
James is always able to tell when something is wrong. I did half expect her to have some issues flying after the stuff that went down the last time she attempted to. I really love how you’ve depicted their relationship.
So glad Lysander got on! And Wendy Nott wow - this is perfect.
Seth Blackwood is another name that I recognise, presumably from tumblr. I don’t remember much about him, but my interest is piqued.
All of the terminology you’re giving is delightful - I’ve no clue why I know so many of these and what they are.
I wish Dom and Ash weren’t speaking behind her back like that - even out of concern, that probably isn’t the way to go about things.
Aww, what she did to Al was pretty mean. Pretty much in line with her character though. I shouldn’t root for her, but I do.
Wendy has a Slytherin girlfriend!! There’s so much to be excited about here.
I possibly feel even worse for this girl that Al is with than I do for him. I can’t imagine a more awkward situation.
Jax continues to be one of my favorite characters. It seems like he and Quinn have more than a little in common. This was one of the sadder parties I can remember reading about. But every bit of it was brilliant, and you continue to balance all of these characters and move their stories along as we follow Quinn. It’s amazing, I don’t know how you do it. Another great chapter!
Okay (confession time) so I've had a note at the top of my to do list for months now telling me to review this and I've managed to completely forget about it but I'm here (better late than never... sorry!!) to review this amazing story!
Okay, so first of all I LOVE your introduction to Quinn. There's something so intimate about the silent sneaking through the house, the already close relationship and the connection between James and Quinn that invites you in from the get go. It's flirtatious and cheeky and close, it might only be chapter one but I swear james already fancies her and she liked him too somewhere deep down (AND EVERYONE ELSE KNOWS IT APPARENTLY???). Everything about that opening scene makes you want to look closer and get to know them better.
Straight away she comes off as intelligent, confident, maybe a little cocky, but she's also got this little book nerd side to her from the ASOIAF and LOTR references she drops in. Her almost heartless dumping of Al also tells a lot about her I think, as does James's reaction to the news. She's "heartless" (for now...) and, dare I say it, a bit nonchalant about the break up. She does seem to care but buries it and moves on. In short, i love her already. You've written her beautifully in the first chapter.
I absolutely adore her grandad, hes brilliant, as is the real star of this chapter- Ziggy. THEN THERE'S ETHAN!!! I've read No Mercy so I know a little more about him than anyone else and all i can say is that ending was just wow!!
You've shown these amazing relationships that are just so flawless. I believe in them all and they're already so strong. Again, this is due to your writing which is also flawless. Your dialogue and description are brilliant, you've got emotion in there and also little sprinklings of humor.
I can't wait to get on to the next one and apologies for the ridiculously delayed review. I'll be back soon for the next chapter!!
Hi, here for EvS!
I wish I could say I wasn’t as competitive as Quinn, but we are similar in that regard. Although I never look back until I’ve won haha.
James and Quinn in this scene with their hands barely touching is a good representation of their entire relationship at this point. These two would sprinkle anything with Firewhisky, oh my. No one could say they don’t live it up.
Her parents are indeed very self-involved it seems. I think that could come with the celebrity, possibly. Or maybe something else that has yet to be revealed. Either way, James is having none of it, which I definitely like about him.
Oh no, Fred killed a rabbit! For some reason I had to hold back laughter, even though it wasn’t funny. At least it was a fictional one, in my defense.
Oooh, Oliver has a kid! He is a complete mess, but I like him! There’s so many guys for Quinn to choose from, I can see how this might get messy if feelings get in involved. (as if they aren’t already)
Scorpius and Lily? I feel this will create some tension with Albus at some point - I am so ready for this to create some tension.
The Prophet hasn’t gotten much more accurate over the years, I see. I am still dying to know the full truth of that story. I’m starting to reconsider what her grandad may be capable of, just based on his demeanor during that whole ordeal in the kitchen.
Haha, drug-like Potions! I..let’s just say we’ve had some similar ideas about this.
I’m absolutely all of the dramatic confrontations going on at lunch in this chapter. Pretty soon I’ll need a spreadsheet to keep track of all of these romantic entanglements, just as I like it. Excellent work again :D
Here for EvS! It seems as though I will be finishing this one before the week’s up :P
It’s pretty upsetting that her parents are sort of never around. I get it, but that must suck, especially right before going back to school. I’ve got to say I’m intrigued to see what things are like at Hogwarts with this group. This is the sort of fic that got me into fanfiction in the first place--these big Next Gen ensembles are my absolute favorite.
She’s so cool, just boxing in the basement haha. Not every day you hear of anyone in the Wizarding world training their hand to hand combat.
Oooh, Selene is finally entering the story! I actually saw your tumblr post about her before I read anything about her in this story and I’ve been waiting on this moment. Ethan is scary with that knife.
Okay, now this story has taken a huge turn. A big fight over a patent with huge money on the line and corporate interests sending threats and a confident woman ready to defend herself against intimidating powers? Yeah, sign me up.
The idea of patented spells is just yet another genius idea you’ve brought forth in this story. I’m losing count.
This is incredibly exciting, I don’t even know where this might go, and I had the genre of this story at least partially wrong I believe.
I’m a bit concerned by the way she reacted to hearing that James loved her. It was like she’d never heard that and quite believed it before.
I really enjoyed this scene on the train--you have a gift for characterising people with only a few sentences here and there. It’s nice to get a closer look at Fred for a while there.
The last scene is excellent, I’m a sucker for scenes of sneaking out around the grounds and also flying at school outside of Quidditch, it’d be the first thing I’d do once I arrived there. Amazing work, this only gets better as I go on.
Back again for EvS! I have a feeling you’ll be seeing a lot of me during this event :P
I can relate so much to her inability to get to sleep. Season of Bitterness is an amazing name for a record.
The stuff with her grandmother is very sad, but also there’s a hint of something else when she talks about her grave being in the wind. It’s beautiful because that’s what she ultimately wanted and hopefully she lived a long, full life.
They have the two-way mirrors! One of my favorite things from canon.
‘Wouldn’t negotiate with terrorists’ I literally love every second one of these pets is mentioned.
Lol, these two drink nearly as much as me and my friends did when we were their age. The moment they looked in each other’s eyes, I admit that my heart did start beating really fast, I thought that was going to be the moment!
I almost forgot they had somewhere to be! This whole thing with Al is giving me secondhand embarrassment for him. He’s so sweet, but so, so misguided about this entire situation.
Dean sounds like the most awesome version of Dean that I’ve ever heard of before. I mean, how many Wizards would even attempt that during the biggest war of their lifetime?
I keep feeling more and more sad for Al! James actually teased him pretty savagely there, even though he knows Quinn isn’t taking him seriously.
So many characters have such great backstories! Victoire, what in the world! I have to meet her.
AL. Oh my god, I’m honestly confused by the entire thing they’ve got going on. This is difficult to read, because they want such different things out of this and it’s obvious, but also there isn’t necessarily nothing between them either.
I..kind of like Logan a lot? I dunno, because I want her to be with James and if not him, Albus. But I also totally see why she’d go off with Logan too.
This confrontation when she gets home is super uncomfortable though - especially since Ethan is there. But she is just so unbothered, as always. (I’m sure that now that I’ve said that she will not be very soon.) Everything about this is intoxicating, I can’t stop it now if I tried :P
Hi, back again for EvS!
I can’t believe that Quinn’s grandad is training them haha. I’m so freaking excited by the prospect of Quidditch tryouts. I did not know there was this much Quidditch in this story. No one told me!
Right awesome that her dad is arch-enemies with Rita. She deserves one of those.
Her grandad with his secret book is just about how my roommates think of me and all of my writing.
I can’t explain how happy I am to be reading actual tactics in this chapter as they train. You’re really good at placing the reader in the same physical space as what’s going on and I know firsthand how difficult that can be with a sport that takes place entirely in the air--there’s a whole new dimension to be accounted for.
There are so many lines that are just hilarious here - The Daring Gryffindor underwear, the hero-worship of Ethan, all of it.
I’m not even gonna get into the way I yelled when I saw them discussing scoring percentage. I thought I was the only person who’d considered stats in Quidditch.
Wait, Flooing a place to order food. Of course, how have I never thought of that?!
I totally understand Roxanne, for the record. It has caused a good number of problems over the course of time.
OH, yeah. I totally missed that Fred would look up to Ethan because he’s a Hit-Wizard and he wants to be an Auror.
I feel a little bad for Al, I hope she’s delicate about it :/
Miniature pitches..oh my god. It’s like every other paragraph you’re introducing something that blows my mind.
This Logan is a bit forward, isn’t he?
I adore the story of how Quinn’s parents met for the first time. Now that’s a story I wouldn’t mind reading, either.
Oh my, James! Oh no, James! He’s totally pining for her. That’s BOTH brothers at once. I really have got to read on haha. This is so addicting, I cannot get enough. I’ll be back!
Hi Kris! I’ve wanting to stop by here literally since I first came over to the site so I’m really excited to finally get a chance to read this. Here for March EvS!
I’ve got no clue about much yet - but immediately I’m smiling super wide at seeing a reference to the Faceless men omg.
I’m a big fan of made-up bands and singers in stories, I think it adds something to the world you’ve created to know the things the characters would enjoy and follow. Gift giving always interests me in fic too, in general. They say a lot about the person giving them. There’s definitely something worthwhile in giving gifts that the recipient would never buy for themselves, or could not even if they would.
Oh wow, I didn’t know that Quinn was dating Albus before. I thought she was just close with James. I am curious about how that came about. Quinn is being rather mature about it, breaking things off when she did rather than drag it out with the knowledge that he sees things a bit different than her.
Lol, I laughed at the splinching jokes - I’ve never thought about using it as a weapon :P
I see just why Ziggy the cat is a fan favorite already. Pessimistic cats are very much on brand for you!
I LOVE the use of the ‘Magic’ response that older folks always use in the context of actual magical people, wow. That’s perfect.
And her parents are Quidditch players! I’m super excited because this means I might get to see a bit of those games at some point, or even just discussion of them. I am weirdly into this fictional sport.
I love her grandad, he’s the coolest haha.
Al, Ethan, and her grandad are Slytherin! Chances are I’m gonna have a huge soft spot for them now.
I adore the tradition of giving watches when a witch or wizard comes of age. I always love to see it, and especially love their family motto, whatever became of her grandmother.
Omg, no waaaay Ethan is a Hit-Wizard, this is most awesome family in existence.
Oh, I’m totally getting Quidditch in this story. The Stormwind sounds freaking amazing, I’ve got to see that thing in action.
I’m obsessed with the ‘Not my blood’ line. Ethan is quite possibly my favorite character as of now. Though he’s far from the only one worthy of phrase. Everyone so far has been superb and this first chapter gave me so much to love. I can tell I’m going to get very, very into this just like everyone else is. I cannot wait to move onto the next chapters!
I really think the plot took a bit of a turn her with Osbourne trying to sabotage Quinn's career! I’m SO excited to see what will happen, I bet something will go down at the upcoming match against slytherin – and probably not in her favor :o luckily, Quinn’s hella strong, so she better see this through
I loved the ending scene with Quinn and James – that she feels jealous and he feels like he should explain – although he really shouldn’t. I have no clue why he would let Trinity jump him – or why she would do that in the first place – also Jax can sot off - he rubs me the wrong way and I really don't like him with Quinn, but maybe that's because I want her to be with james ^^ And Ziggy coming to James’ rescue, love it :’)
So I'm super pumped for the next chapter - I really hope it will cover that match! And as always, looking forward to see how James and Quinn's relationship will develope :D
PS: loved the sentences ‘a knut for your thoughts,’ and ‘they’re not even worth a sickle’ ^^
So the bit about "anarchist pets" that's just perfect because really, it feels so right that she and her family would have just as unlikable (yet lovable) pets as they are humans. I mean let's be real here, Quinn is everything that would bother me in a friend but I think I would also love her in a lot of ways.
I love slow burn romances, and whether that turns out to be the case for James and Quinn, or if characteristically she never has the balls to allow herself to actually love someone (or admit that she can love someone, really) I am absolutely loving the dynamic of their friendship. I wish I had a friend like James <3
I think that despite the awkwardness that is between Al and Quinn that it is great that they are able to maintain some kind of relationship. Not only that but the ending of their short fling didn't influence the relationship she has with his brother, which is fantastic.
James gave her a small smile. She squinted her eyes at him and said, “You’re an idiot.”
I'm curious if here Lily knows that James has it bad for Quinn or not? ^^^
“It was great, but I don’t want to go on a date with you, sorry.”
I absolutely LOVE this girl, I swear she is everything I wish I was. I really enjoyed how you made her be so free with her sexuality, she isn't ashamed and no one shames her. Something many people of this generation could learn from.
I am loving your story thus far~ excited to keep reading!
See I knew that sly Osbourne was up to something but I never thought he'd directly try to sabotage her career. Seeing as how that's her family's legacy it seems incredibly mean and insensitive but also very Slytherin of him, I guess. He's hitting exactly where it hurts.
Why didn't Jax tell her? But then again... how could he?
I LOVE the chemistry between those two though, her and Jax. He's exactly what he should be, being aWood but also being from a messed up family. I love how you've built his character.
Speaking of character, Quinn seems to be growing emotionally - FINALLY. She's slowly beginning to realise what James really means to her. Her little guilt trips and the way she tries to brush them off is amazing!
I love how you've brought certain elements of the muggle life into this, like Boxing. I''m interested to know if it's something she picked up from her Grandad or Ethan. Ethan must have some sort of way to express his frustation, loss and the weight of his career. I wonder if it's something else though - like Muay Thai.
Again, great chapter. The only crit I have is that I wait and wait and wait for the chapter to come :P haha I'm kidding. I rather like how you take time to perfect a chapter because your work is pretty perfect!
Sorry about only posting reviews here and there. I'm really bad reviewer and I sometimes just rate and move on. Will get in the habbit of reviewing... I'm working on it <3