Transferred from offsite at request of the author
Originally left on 02/03/2015
Hey! Here for your requested review from the forums.
This was a very good one-shot. I enjoyed reading Harry's speech. It was very moving and very on-the-point. The words were powerful yet they flowed naturally. I could definitely imagine Harry talking this way. The little backstories that you gave of various Slytherins here was also very interesting. I also liked that Draco and Harry had resolved their differences and that Harry did this for his friend. It showed a very nice angle to post-war situations - of love and forgiveness. I also liked Draco's characterisation such as the description of his stance and the way he spoke to Harry. Good work there.
The only CC I'd give you is to perhaps add a little more backstory to this one shot - give it an intro and conclusion instead of it just being a speech. Give it a context, because it will be more powerful and more story-like then. For instance, you could start of with describing the setting, Harry's fears/worries of going on stage and addressing the topic etc. and ending it with Harry's satisfaction/feelings towards it. That would make it all the more relatable. That's just of course my opinion as I always like to see some setting and description instead of straight action =)
Otherwise, this was brilliant and I had a good time reading it. It refreshed my memories of the main book moments, and of the emotions associated with them. I also liked the angle of everything being fine and them still building the world back. Your writing style was good and I didn't see any grammar errors either! Good job =)
Author's Response: Hi! I apologize for my severely late response to this (I actually forgot I had it tbh)! :)
I'm so glad you liked it! I haven't done a song-fic in so long so I was worried about how this would turn out. Harry's speech, while it did take up the entire thing almost (oops) was really enjoyable for to me write, even though the topic was not-so-fun. Fleshing out the Slytherins made it seem more realistic for me because it showed to the audience of the speech and the readers that they were real ""people"" and that they had feelings/lives too.
I would have to agree with you on your CC--I completely forgot about adding backstory and just went right into the speech without giving context whatsoever! I will have to go back and edit that this summer then! Not going to lie here, I did happen to look up certain events in my books to make sure I had the people/timeline correct. (Maybe I just need to do a good ol' re-reading of the series this summer, as I'm about due for one anyway :P )
Thank you so so much for this fabulous and constructive review! I'll have to pop over again sometime soon! :)
Transferred from offsite at request of the author
Originally left on 01/05/2015
I have returned to grace you with more reviews!
I was really excited to read this piece because, although I'm not very well versed in song fics, I adore Wicked and was excited by your song choice. I think you used the song in an amazing way, and tired everything together wonderfully. The lyrics never seemed out of place, which is one of the issues I have with a lot of song fics, so good job!
I admittedly also don't read a lot of post-Hogwarts, so it was interesting to see your take on this. Harry's speech was extremely moving and very important. I loved how he addressed the fact that Draco (and none of the Slytherins, really) are inherently evil. It reminded me of his conversation with Sirius in OOTP about people being either black or white, and I really liked that parallel (intentional or not).
You had a lot of good word choice here, and I loved the way you described Draco's eyes as ""steel"". It seems to be talking about the colour (grey) as well as the fact that he probably has a hardened gaze, and I really liked that imagery. I think that was one of my favourite aspects of the story, because it added to Draco's character. You gave a lot of good background stories to multiple minor characters and, even though this piece was short, everyone seemed to have a lot of layers.
Overall I thought this was great and can't believe I'm it's first reviewer! Keep up the amazing work and I hope you had an amazing holiday season!
Author's Response: Yay! ♥
I was so happy when I got this song because I knew I could take it a different route than romance or friendship even. I greatly enjoy Wicked (even though I've never gotten to see it :( ) so this challenge was lots of fun for me to write! This was my first take on a post-Hogwarts fic not concerned with the direct aftermath of the Battle of Hogwarts (see: Love Makes Me) so I really wanted to sort of explore it, even if it was just through a speech. I never actually meant for the entire one-shot to be just Harry talking, but I'm kind of glad it was. It let me just sort of go with the flow and I literally wrote like the first 80 percent of it in one half-hour sitting. I didn't even catch that parallel, yay that makes me very excited that you picked up on my unintentional parallel! That was really just me voicing my own personal opinions, but through Harry about Death Eaters. :P
Draco is my baby and I absolutely adore writing him, so of course I had to put him in a good light here! Describing eyes has kind of always been tricky for me as I tend to overuse ""chocolate"" for brown eyes, etc, the usual cliches, but steel was something I came up with while scrolling through tumblr and seeing gifs of some marvel movie where the infrastructure has just gone to crap and it stuck with me. That kind of imagery is something I've always wanted to achieve, so I'm very happy you enjoyed it and were able to pull meaning from one word! Obscure/minor characters are my absolute favorites, so of course I had to flesh them out at least a little bit to make it relatable and more personal to the reader.
Thank you so much for this wonderful review and for being such a great Secret Santa! :) ♥
I’m dropping by to leave you a review for Quodpot Match 2 because th theme is war!
So it’s 10 years after the war and Harry is giving a commemorative speech. All of these years later and he still hasn’t been able to escape the limelight. That’s kind of sad when you consider that all he wanted as a young man was normalcy.
I do really like that he addresses the mistreatment of former death eater children. It really is unfair when you consider that they were children. They should’ve at least been given the opportunity to prove they were decent as adults.
One little thing, I notice you mention Neville spraining his wrist, but I think in canon he actually breaks it. I could be wrong though.
I did find it interesting that Harry would discuss Pansy the way he did. He’s in essence divulging to the world that she was repeatedly sexually assaulted by Death Eaters. That seems like a strange thing to share with the public. I could understand if it was her sharing her experience, but it just seems off to me.
I did really like that Harry takes the first step towards forgiveness by inviting Draco to be a part of his team. It’s a nice gesture, one I hope everyone else will follow.
Overall, nice job on this!
Hello! Dropping in for BvB :)
This was really interesting! I can only imagine the stigma former Death-Eaters/sympathizers faced in the aftermath of the war. Harry's right: a lot of them were just kids, and it isn't fair for them to be held accountable for the actions of their parents. It was totally in-character for him to go to bat for them, even with the pushback. Harry, perhaps more than most, knows what its like to be ostracized, so it only makes sense that he would use his pull as war-hero to help those in need.
I really like the idea of Harry and Draco being on peaceful terms after the war. I doubt they ever really become friends, but I like to think that after everything that they faced, they learned to understand one another.
It's funny how, 10 years later, people are still gasping at the mention of Voldemort's name. Old habits die hard, I suppose. But, it's very indicative of how the wounds of the war are still fresh on the midns of many.
Heh, gotta love Draco with the whole I-could-have-done-it-myself bit at the end. XD That's so fitting. Some things, including pride, never change!
Nice job with this! :)