i’m once again here for our swap :D
i can't tell you how much i enjoy reading about rona – she’s just such a wonderfully created character with unique interests that you don’t often see in fics (at least i don’t really remember reading about someone like her, daughter of a politician who loves to make potions in relative secrecy, concoct her own recipes and potion cocktails…). she’s also not a total ice queen as so often slytherin OCs are portrayed – i think that’s quite obvious from the fact that even though she may have her two closest friends, people often just say ‘hi’ to her and start conversations. i mean, even if they do gossip about her (…who wouldn’t, right?) it seems that she’s also genuinely liked which is always so nice to read about when it’s not exclusively everything turned against the protagonist.
her sundays spent at moaning myrtle’s bathroom brewing potions sound like such a cool way to spend one’s free time, especially because it seems that rona has actually made (sort of?) friends with the ghost which i find adorable. despite myrtle being annoying and all that, her life (and death lol) story is so sad that it always made me feel a lil bit sorry for her. so when one of the next gen kids actually ends up hanging out with her, even if it’s more out of necessity than anything else, it makes me smile ^_^ and it’s one of the reasons that rona is such a likeable character because she seems so nice – i love that.
i do wonder about what she does with all the potions she brews…are those the extra activities that rona/her mother mentioned? she sells them? or just brews them for fun (or basically does that but also profits from it haha)?
fred’s appearance and finding out that they’re also best friends was adorable. i love how he doesn’t let james and his being a…..*word not appropriate for a review*….stop him from being there for rona. him and james are obviously close, with him claiming they’re like brothers, and that makes sense if they’re the same age and all, but i think it’s always important to know where to draw a line in friendships and how you let various friendships and/or relationships affect each other. from personal experience, it really sucks when what someone else does ends up affecting your relationship with a whole other bunch of people which never made sense to me but i’m aware it’s often how people/emotions work <.< anyhow, i digress – i loved how freddie brought her food because he noticed she wasn’t at lunch and he knew exactly where to find her. it’s a show of true friendship that such a seemingly small and simple gesture can mean a lot. rona wasn’t in the best of moods, but i got the feeling that hanging out with freddie made her feel a little bit better ^_^
the gryffindor party sounds like both a lot of fun and also not if james continues to act the way he’s been acting. it’s totally understandable why rona wouldn’t want to go but i’m also hoping she does and doesn’t let him annoy her too much, she deserves better than that :o it’s also prime opportunity for louis to be there and….get friendlier….with rona haha :D
rona’s mother is not my favourite person in the world right now. her career is obviously preoccupying her time and in a way i get it, the campaign and all is very important but also i’d love it if she could make a little more time for rona. i’m also wondering about her dad and if she has a good relationship with him? she doesn’t really think about him all that much except that she saw him over the summer – i hope we’ll find out a bit more about him.
this was another great chapter in which you’ve shown us like…a ton of things about rona that make her who she is and she’s just this…i don’t know how to describe it but at the same time she seems so relatable but also not. like obviously, she has teenage problems but also a future minister for magic mum which makes everything a whole lot more intense because of how it may seem to people who shouldn’t even matter (like the general public and journalists). and for me, it makes sense that as much as she loves her friends and spending time with them, she also loves being alone at times, to do what she loves without anyone else looking at her, talking about her or judging her (except myrtle haha).
write more :P
hey deni, i'm here for our swappy swap! ^_^
what i really love about this chapter, and the story in general, is that there’s no info dump – we find out little by little what exactly happened between rona and james, why they broke up, how they broke up. and it makes it all seem a whole lot more realistic, like we’re literally thrown into the middle of things (it was one of my favourite narrative techniques back in high school, when stories started in medias res…yes i’m a nerd :P ) and we have to find stuff out gradually. it’s extremely effective because both the mystery (i mean, it might not even be that much of a mystery, just a break up, but still…) of what happened and the small signs of louis and rona getting friendlier drive the story forward and have me hooked :D
rita skeeter always loves to stir things up and this time it might be unknowingly but i’m a glutton for when ~drama~ happens haha and especially when rita is involved with her outrageous articles and such. even though she’s almost universally hated in the books, i genuinely love her character because she’s so fun to play around with in fics, and using her stories as narrative devices in order to move the plot forward is always really cool. we might not actually see or read the witch weekly article, but obviously it made james all huffy. which made me dislike him a lot! it’s not like rona wanted to be featured with her ex-boyfriend, and idk what’s got into his head that he seems to think only of himself and how he feels (which again makes me wonder what exactly happened because i’m curious like that. like a cat. who gets killed. :D )
you also did an amazing job in rona’s characterisation as a slytherin – she’s obviously very ambitious, and very talented, judging by the number of outstanding OWLs and the fact that she planned doing all of her subjects on NEWT level, not wanting to admit things might be too much for her…it’s all very slytherin-y (even though i know to some people it might not seem so, but i can relate to her a lot). i also liked how she doesn’t really let it show how bothered she is by the fact that she was basically forced to drop some subjects. i know it’s not the healthiest way of dealing with things, but omg, i feel as if she would truly hate if anyone knew how bothered she actually was. i know i would. so faking it until people leave you alone seems like a good enough choice :P
and louis! i love him :D (am i allowed to just generally love this story and not say much else?) the whole ‘writing in runes and french so people can’t copy his homework’ is so clever and witty and sort of snarky, it’s awesome. and i love the little things that rona and him sort of bond over, even though they’re still being careful around each other because the awkwardness is obviously still there and i suspect it will be for at least a little while until they get more comfortable with each other. but he seems like such a cool guy ^_^
i almost forgot about cecily and wren – i loved the scene in montogmery’s office where cecily was just all in bossy quidditch captain mode and i’m looking forward to seeing her more. wren is still a bit of an enigma to me, she seems to enjoy teasing rona but they also all seem to be such good friends that i don’t think either of them mind the teasing :D i’m all for interhouse friendships, especially slytherin/gryffindor ones *_*
i’m looking forward to coming back to the next chapter!
hey deni, i'm here for the hc opener :D
i remember reading somewhere (probably your WJ) about where you got the idea for revival and i thought it was so creative - to be inspired by a character that, in fics, we're most often set up to either hate, intensely dislike or simply forget about because they were just a stand-in for the OC protagonist, an obstacle for them to overcome and to get together with james. and more often than not, the character in question hasn't even done much of anything to deserve the dislike. so basically, the entire plot of revival is super fascinating to me and i'm very happy you started writing it!
the introduction of rona and her mother was really...vivid? idk if that's the right word but the entire set up of the platform 9 3/4 and the hogwarts express, the bustle of the platform, then the journalists and her mother stealing the stage, captivating everyone around her and rona sort of in the background was so well written that i felt like i was standing there, blinking because of the numerous flashlights going off from the cameras. and i think it set up the relationship between rona and her mother and how her mother's political career affects it really well because obviously, rona resents her mother for the politics and what she considers just putting on a face and all that, but from the brief hug they share and how she softens up, i also think that she loves her mother and wants to be close to her, and that's the main reason for the resentment.
i'm definitely intrigued by who rebecca mckenna is, because...golden girl? then the extra activities she and rona both mention have me wondering if they're simply referring to dating or something more mysterious?
rona's friends are also intriguing, especially the fact that wren is a gryffindor and i'm dying to see more of their dynamics because i think it will be very fun :D
james' coldness and rona's dread at him having ignored her completely totally has me wondering why exactly they broke up. but more than that, i also really enjoyed how louis seemed to notice rona just a little bit more intensely and just...more. i like that even in this first chapter, the first little things between them sort of start. it's nothing major but since rona basically just broke up with his cousin, whom she dated for two years, obviously, they'll have to build their relationship. and i'm definitely looking forward to reading that ^_^
Hey! I'm back to read more of this after a really long time, haha. Still love it as much as ever!
One thing I really appreciate is how you've made the three best friends in different houses, and how they work their way around that - meals at the Gryffindor table, often hanging out in the Slytherin common room/dormitory. I love that.
I'm really curious what happened between her and James, and whether that was the only cause for her falling grades or whether it was something else instead. Also, poor Rona, she's taking enough classes and is still disappointed in herself. It's rough to see how her mother's high standards and achievements set such a high bar for Rona that just leaves her feeling like she's not enough unless she is perfect at everything. That's so hard, especially as a teenager. Does she really want those 9 NEWTS because that's what she wants, or does she want them because her mother expects it from her? :(
Louis seems really nice and I love his friendship with Rona! Especially the fact that despite James being his cousin and they're quite close, Louis doesn't blame Rona for James' mood - very true, only James can control his mood, and it's nice that Louis doesn't just pick sides or anything. Louis' reasons for taking notes in runes was hilarious. I bet he's great at runes as a result!
Hey Deni! :)
I don’t know how I haven’t hopped into your novels yet, but man am I glad I did now! This sounds like such a fun and drama-filled idea for a Next Gen novel and I am very intrigued by this first chapter! I’m really interested in your OC Rona McKenna and also her relationship with her mother, which clearly gets testy at times, especially as this campaign goes on while she’s at Hogwarts. This tough breakup between her and James Sirius Potter that must have happened before summer break ended clearly hasn’t ended the tension between them, or at least not on James’s side of things, and I’m very curious to see how that plays out with the detail of them having dated for two years. The trio of girls being best friends is SO GREAT and I love it so much!! Portraying them as having a strong interhouse friendship (especially between two Slytherins and a Gryffindor) is so positive and such a Hot Take sometimes when it comes to fandom that I sure hope they continue being besties throughout Rona’s seventh year. Rona’s mother’s warning to her about minimizing her extra-curricular activities is interesting and oh boy do I hope we get to see some of her ~extra-curriculars~ just to spite her mother. Great start to what will definitely be a fantastic novel, Deni! :)
(18-19 House Cup Finale Constituent Smoozing event)
Back for the HC
You really embody this character here, her love for Potions, her dedication and expertise. How she is so similar to snape in this way really stirs something in me. How the Sunday's for her are hiding out doing something she loves, making potions and perfecting her own created potions. You bring in such an important piece of who this character is by giving her this one thing that calms her and is her obsession. Passion.
I previously said I really enjoyed Louis and I do but her relationship with Freddie is probably the best I've yet to encounter. James is his family, he loves him, but Rona is his best friend. He punched James because he loves Rona that much. And he knows her well enough t know she's not alright. I really want to know what happened!! You are so good at building suspense, angst and keeping the reader interested and on the edge of their seat!
You paint a really interesting picture of the relationship between Rona and her mother. Almost as if she gets on better with her mothers PR person Sarah rather than her actual mother. It's sad, and angsty and you write it so well. She seems to be a ball of quick tempered, anxious unamused emotion which she hides behind a facade of icy indifference. I love it.
Looking forward to more!
i know I know...I’m back again ;D HC FINALE and you're story is captivating as always.
I love how you wrote Louis, I don't think I've read many stories at all that had Louis in a role where we can actually get to know his character at all. I love how you've created an interesting character, someone who is yes one of the Potter Weasley Clan but he is so different at least he isn't just as sucked into the ”way things are” with them. Even Rona would allow the boys to copy her homework something Hermione never allowed, she always made them work for it. But Louis makes it even impossible for them to copy it in anyway. I think I find that so fascinating, and that he is so fluent with Runes that he can write English notes into Runes fast enough. I like how he seems different than the others of course he would have been raised differently with Fleur as his mother. And I like that you’ve brought his different sort of personality into the mix.
So many stories ie read depict James in this larger than life, super amazing good guy like his dad role and I am interested in this side of him, the snarky kind of a jerk side that you’ve presented. Obviously there is some serious history between these two and you make it so apparent with a simple back and forth that doesn’t last longer than probably a few minutes.
I love Rona, she is snarky, and very stereotypically slytherin. Hiding the emotions that threaten to expose how she feels, how broken she must be over their confusing break up. How she has sent not a letter but three words to her mother PR person and not her mother because what good would that do to send her mother a letter when she likely wouldn’t read it anyways.
You create such a wonderful world with striking characters. Right down to their little things that they do or wear that sets them apart. In a school with a uniform having an individuality in appearance can be difficult but your character Rona has those boots that make her taller and more striking.
Lovely story cannot wait to read more!
I figured I ought to check out one of your other stories and I am glad I did! I am here for the HC finale !
as a lover of Angst and I can tell you are too ;) I am excited about the new dynamic of this story, A young woman, older teen, the daughter of a divorced single mother running for Minister, it’s a great perspective that I hadn’t thought much of before. How stifling it is for her to be the child of the future minister who is also friends with the Golden Trio! It’s truly an interesting concept, that the Great Harry Potter would be behind the ministry after everything he went through when he was a teenager. She must have some really great plans.
i love how you describe the chaos of the Hogwarts Platform! How domestic and lovely it seems and how much that seemed to bother her, but of course not quite as much as her mother running for Minsiter.
I am drawn to the reaction she has with the Weasley-potter kids. I am utterly shocked that James would be so cold, and even if she were his ex, I’m curious what kind of person he is, what kind of person she is, what happened with their relationship.
I just love the way you portray Louis, quiet and watching. How he cares and seems curious about her reaction but of course he won’t stray far from his family. Freddy of course, unashamed and completely happy to see her, needing to be redirected is amusing. Sad for Rona but amusing nonetheless.
I love the female Slytherin characters you create, how they are always drawn to the gryffindors how they seem to be the opposite of the negative slytherin stereotypes. I am very curious to see how this story will play out with you having such a strength for writing angst, and character building!
Great writing looking forward to more!
I've crawled in here wearing the cone of shame.
BUT you'll be happy to know that even though it's been a little while since I read the first chapter, I had no problems diving straight back into this story and feeling Rona's feels. It must be the worst, coming back to school after a long break and already having rumours being spread about you, especially when they aren't true. Honestly, I've only read the first seen and I'm already back to being so excited and invested in this story and its characters!
Rona is a pretty realistic teenager at school, to me. Especially when she doesn't want to take Defence anymore because of James, and probably only took it in the first place because of him. Let's face it, we've all been there, making an effort in a particular class because of a particular boy in it :P
You dropping all these tiny hints and creating such intrigue IS WORKING.
I absolutely love this bit: "I didn't hear the interruption as it strut across the library, not until it was right in front of me and dropped something onto the desk with a hard slap and stood back, waiting." It's so funny! And I can just picture it so well, I love it! Actually, that whole exchange is so amazingly written. Their emotions and the tension are so tangible, I'm really impressed!
"Was it possible to move in this school without running into a Weasley?" Probably not, tbh :P Clearly Louis is the best Weasley in this story. What a sweetheart! And he likes dragons, so we'd get along just fine. Also, with his writing in runes, Finn Blishwick would be proud :P
There's a few tiny typos throughout the chapter but I'm sure you'll grab them easily with another read through :)
Great chapter, my love! I really enjoyed it!
Deni hi!! Here with your requested review and for March RvG (go red)!!
Anyway, James is just so GAHHH he's terrible! In this whole thing, like even when he's coming up to apologize to Rona, he never *actually* apologizes to her. COOL NICE CHAT RONA?? Um ok? This boy is such a douche through this whole chapter it's not even funny. Rubbing in the new girl when Rona's right there. MAKING SURE SHE SEES AS HE KISSES HER? His whole approach to "making amends" for when he absurdly accused her in the library about the Prophet thing and wouldn't hear anything else. Honestly, he deserves every punch Freddie gives him.
Obviously the best line of this was the line about him dumping her, not the necklace. I LOVE that you worked that in here! It was actually perfect!
Louis, however, is a sweet, wonderful angel! Their History of Magic interactions just get better and better. He's got this dry, kind of snarky sense of humor I feel, like when he's like basically like ugh I could do this better than you during class, but he's so nice! I loved when he offered Rona his defense notes! Like low key the cutest thing- I mean, for Rona that's probably one of the sweetest gestures you could do right now! It's my personal nightmare, a boy offering me *more* work. But like, to each their own.
I was SO curious about Lucy at the beginning, when Rona mentions that they didn't get along. Like why wouldn't they get along, unless something had happened between them. But then we meet her later in the chapter. Her introduction is so interesting, basically just jumping right in to crapping on James. She is VERY direct-it's got to be hard to get along with someone like that, but it seems like she and Rona may have turned their relationship around. Nothing bonds you with a girl you don't like quite like a douchebag. I'm curious to see if Lucy sticks around.
I am fully onboard with Rona's party outfit. Armor indeed. I mean, quite honestly, with how much of a douche James ended up being, she may have needed it, but I love that my girl gets herself all dolled up in Slytherin colors for a night out with the Gryffies. No hiding anything-she's a Slytherin through thick and thin and that's not going to change. She's not going to let her break up with James change this.
I totally loved the ending to this. It seems like things may be turning for Rona! Louis definitely seems to be breaking down her armor, and is CLEARLY the reason this night was okay for her (I mean, after James was SUCH AN EFFING IDIOT) and Freddie is absolutely amazing, a great friend and human! I fully appreciate Cecily bringing out a bottle of wine and chunk of birthday cake for them to bring home with them. What more do they need to wrap up the evening? Lovely chapter as always Deni! Can't wait for the next one!
This was my favourite chapter so far, because there was just SO much going on, lots of hints about what's happened and what will happen, it was a bit of a whirlwind.
Firstly, Rona is awesome. She definitely has a kick to her which I absolutely love - like although she's clearly hurting, she's refusing to let James get completely the upper hand. I love that she turned up to a Gryffie party wearing green, almost like a defiance, which was really cool, and the necklace line really made me laugh. I do love me a common room party, but, ugh, James. Now, I really, really, really think he's an arse - there are several more words I'd like to use, but I don't know if I'm allowed on here!
I was watching him as he gave me one last glance, making sure I could see him, before he kissed her. - WHAT THE HELL??? That is awful. Not only is it a crap move, but it's so big headed of him to go out of his way to make her jealous, like he knows it will hurt her.
I really don't like him and it seems his family think he's a right idiot too. Fred punched him and even Lucy isn't impressed. Is Rona and Lucy going to become friends? I think maybe they might click a bit in coming chapters, because Lucy also seems like she has a kick about her.
Anyway. Louis. Aww lovely, sweet Louis. I rarely read anything with him as the main love interest and I'm so on board with him. He seems such as sweetheart already and I love how he seems to 'get' her and her issues with school without even grilling her about it. It's great that he's suggested the Defence studying, what a cutie. I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes, but could it be a bit awkward with him and James being cousins?!! I really don't care, because I love him and James is currently a tool, so...
I love how you tease your stories and only give a little away, HOWEVER, I am super impatient and really want to know what happened between Rona and James, like everything. Please spill soon, because I need to know why she ended up falling for such a moron and where the heck Harry and Ginny went wrong with him?!!
Tasha - for RvG - Team Red!
Deni! Here for RvG and the story! :D
What a chapter!!! There's teenage drama and then there's teenage drama. Sure, they're a bunch of teenagers, but the complexities you have ingeniusly layered into this teenage experience is amazing.
The chemistry between Rona and Louis... oh my goodness! They have this easy going flow between them. Whenever Rona is around Louis, I think she's the most engaged. While I think that she IS attracted to him (and doesn't quite know it), I also sense that she's letting her guard down a little bit and letting herself ask questions and grow and pursue what SHE wants (like Defense). And I think Louis is adorable. I can't wait to see more of his character development!
Rona getting ready for the party: I know that you were a little concerned about this scene, but I think you do a lot of world building and character development. This far into the story, you've already hinted at some tensions and potential plots... but now we get a glimpse into Rona's innermonologue and it works so well here, especially how you connect it to the events at the party.
The party: Oh James. James, James, James. He has SO much growing up to do. It's interesting to see his family members rolling their eyes at him. I can tell they care for him, but he's been making some very questionable choices. I'm glad that they try to support Rona as best as they can--and they haven't completely dismissed James yet, either. (Also, that line: You dumped me, the necklace didn't. CLASSICALLY BRILLIANT, DENI!)
Anyway, I'm looking forward to what you have in store for us next. This is a different Next Gen fic, and it's awesome that you're pursuing this possibility!
i'm here performing my duties as head cheerleader for this story but I thought I would also throw the review in for RvG too.
So I love this chapter because we get to see so much about Rona throughout the chapter. It's such good character development and it just added so many more layers to have characterisation but you write it all so naturally. It's not information dump as it's subtle but still very clear.I love the way Rona comes across, she's very guarded, hold herself to a high standard and not as confident as she comes across on the outline. The wonderful details like her outfit being like Armour in Slytherin colours. This was an amazing little character quirk.
I love how easy her interactions are with Louis, they have such a really nice rapport! There is a really good foundation for the future. I love Louis' little quip because not needing to know about secondary wizarding war. I like how his characterisation is going so far.
PARTYYYYYY. I can't resist reading a little bit of a party. Can I just say Rona is pretty awesome for standing her ground on creepy guys like Aaron. I like that she has a tough streak to her. James is just the worse in this chapter, he is so cold that kissing that girl and looking at Rona. what kinda issues does he have? It seems he likes having the power. The way he talks to Rona is ice cold. It makes so interested in what happened between them. How much tension is there?? very engaging.
I'm so excited about Lucy's character. I think I'm going to just love her. It'll be interesting to see things develop between her and Rona too.
- Abbi xo
Hi Deni!!! Boy oh boy do I have some shit to talk about our dear James Sirius Potter. Also, this is a very last minute contribution to February RvG. Maybe. If I can finish it in time. (Yeah update, I did not. I’ve literally already made the awards for February and I still haven’t written more than a paragraph of this review. At this pace, we’ll be lucky to achieve it by the end of March RvG.) (Update again, we've finished this in March. It's sad that I consider this something of an accomplishment.)
“That night time wouldn't fly.” Alright this was the blatant All Too Well reference, yeah? Because I’m now singing that bridge to myself because of this. Or the "I was there" line from Rona? If one of those *wasn’t* the blatant reference, you’ll have to let me know where it actually was and I’ll be very disappointed in myself for not catching it originally, haha.
Let’s just… start with the obvious, yeah? James is an asshat, a jerk, a douchewaffle, and a whole host of other creative insulting words I’m not allowed to use in this review without it getting reported. I mean, really, you pull Rona aside to talk, don’t even actually apologise for being excessively rude to her in the library, and then five minutes later you’re kissing some other girl?? And this: “I was watching him as he gave me one last glance, making sure I could see him, before he kissed her.” God, so apparently Freddy didn’t punch him hard enough the first time? Or maybe he punched him so hard it gave James brain damage and *that’s* why he’s acting like this? Regardless the reason, he needs a swift kick to a specific location that may or may not make it impossible for him to procreate.
Alright now that we’ve gotten the important things out of the way (TSwift and the shithole that is JSP), let’s move onto some of the other things worth discussing in this chapter. So Louis. Sweet, sweet Louis. I love that he clearly already knows Rona so well and knows that not doing well on her OWL bothered her and offers to help her take the NEWT exam by sharing all of his notes. What an absolute gem. I don’t understand how he’s related to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (no, not that one).
But also the fact that all the Weasleys immediately came to Rona’s aide when James was being a douchecanoe is really admirable, and I’m glad that they all recognise that he’s being awful. I’m curious to know more about why Lucy and Rona don’t exactly get along normally (especially because Lucy and Louis seem close so I feel like that relationship might shift at some point as Rona and Louis get closer), but I love the way you’ve written Lucy, as this incredibly blunt and to-the-point character.
THE LOCKET LINE. I knew you’d used it but I still got super excited when I read it - it’s SUCH a good comeback, tbh. And I really love that Rona intentionally dresses as Slytherin as possible when showing up to a Gryffindor party, just to make a point. She knows that she doesn’t entirely belong there and fully owns it, and even though she might not *feel* super confident inside during this party, it *is* a bit of a power move and I respect it.
I feel like there’s probably a lot more to James and Rona’s breakup that we haven’t seen - and maybe to their relationship as well, because I don’t really know how she could have dated him for so long unless he was a very different person when they were together and/or she was with him for some reason other than his personality. I’m curious to know which. ;)
As always, super pumped for the next chapter!
So, is this going to be a Rona/Louis story or a Rona/James story? I’m just wondering because I kinda need to know before I invest my time in it, sorry! It’s a fantastic start, but fanfics about the Weasley cousins isn’t really my thing, it’s the Potter siblings or not at all :/
And whatever Fred says, he is not friends with James at all. What awful thing did James do to have everyone turn on him? Because just breaking up with someone does not mean that you deserve the treatment James is getting from his so called friends and family— hope he punches Fred out the next time he says anything at all to him. I get that you’re trying to portray James as a douchebag, but right now all I see is the Weasley family being assholes to their cousin behind his back. Fred can go f’ck himself for all I care, and Lucy saying that James is embarrassing himself?? By doing what, moving on?? Trash, the lot of them
There is a bit more to the story of James and Rona than I've shown in the first few chapters. It's not really my style to give away all the information at the very start and the readers right now aren't meant to know the whole story. The beauty of Next Gen is that James's story and character can be left open to the authors imagination. In this one he's not the golden boy, he is a douchebag- at least for now. Part of my intention in writing such a story is to have readers question my characters' behavior, and your review has demonstrated the effectiveness of my approach.
With regards to your stated JSP/OC preference, this is a Louis/OC story. If that's not your thing then there are plenty of other incredible stories about JSP on this site that I'm sure you'll love.
Thank you for the review,
Hi hi hi!
Imagine my horror when I realized that your requested review has been sitting in the staff thread since before you became staff. We failed you and I’m sorry.
SO, I’ve actually read this chapter before but it turns out I never left a review! An additional apology for being a flake.
I can’t imagine the stress of being a major politician’s daughter. Like a minister of magic’s kid? The scrutiny would be unbearable. I do appreciate that she can tell media etc to back off politely so she can do the family thing first and foremost. That’s a good parent. If only she actually stuck to it and didn’t leave her kid waiting. I have a hot mom too and I get the “sisters” comment all the time and I’m like uhhh she’s in her mid-fifties, can you not?
Talking about Nyx, if I had a cat at Hogwarts I’d 100% have it on a harness. There’s so many dangerous things! What if your cat got out and was stuck in a trick step on the staircase? Or eaten by a basilisk? Or eaten by the giant squid? Genuine concerns here.
Ugh, James. You cute jerk. Ugh, Louis. You cute sweetheart. I do so love the Gryffindor/Slytherin friendships. It’s a nice change from old rivalries and really they are two sides of the same coin.
Rona doesn’t need a Potter to make her happy. Maybe a Weasley though.
I can’t wait to read the next chapter!
Paula!! Honestly I'd forgotten about that review request so no worries there haha! This turned out to be a nice surprise!
I'm there with you in the hot mum club and yes it is so annoying!! I had to get it in here somewhere, right? And yes like that cat should be on a harness... If one of my cats got in there then you can bet it would be on the roof in ten minuets flat but oh my god I love the idea of it facing off against a basilisk!!
I love you reactions to the boys and the Gryffindor/Slytherin friendships! I always love writing them because the dimanics are always SO interesting!
Thank you so much for the lovley review dear,
Deni hi!!! Here for your requested review and February RvG!!
Ok, before anything, honestly, I looked away from this chapter for a while and then looked back and was VERY SURPISED by the line of "at first sarah's lack of response" (which felt like a personal call out that I was not ready for, even though I am VERY LATE to reviewing this and probably deserve the personal call out).
MY GIRL IS ON HER POTIONS GRIND! I am low key excited to see everything she does with this and where it's going to go. I love all her notes (so type a of her) becuase it's clear that it's something she cares about and it's so in line with everything we already know about Rona! Also, the fact that she spent her week post break up thinking up new potions recipes is also so on point? Like girl needs her space, but also that's just a wasted week for her otherwise.
I LOVE FREDDIE! He's just...absolutely hilarious. I am completely on board with him just not having James' moods and behavior and just decking him. It's so great that he's not taking sides in this! HE BRINGS CHEESE TOASTIES♥ What a man!
I love that the Gryffies have a 25th of September party and they can't even remember whose birthday it was originally for. Honestly the most Gryffie thing ever. Wren's full on support of her Slytherin friends is great but it seems like she doesn't know how nice she is? Or maybe she just wants her besties, in which case, I get it. I feel like Rona is definitely going to go- I have no idea what's going to happen to make her go (LOUIS PERHAPS???). Or maybe she plans on slicing her new dress down in a double revenge (to both her mum and showing up looking super hot and sticking it to James). Her mother is pretty rough it seems, and the more we read, the more complicated their relationship seems. It's pretty rough that Sarah is buying Rona a dress to make up for something that wasnt really solved and I'm curious to see if the Witch Weekly comes back into play. But I'm sure there will be other stories; it sounds like Sarah and Rona's mum don't have much control over the journalists, despite what James said last chapter.
GREAT chapter Deni, looking forward to next one!
Deni~~ It's been so long! I'm so glad you've finally updated!
I'm ticked at her mom. Like I was already feeling ticked at her in chapter 1 because she clearly cares more about her campaign than her own daughter. But this? Like, she couldn't just give a response of like "I'm sorry this happened to you!" But noooo. She has to take care of politics first for two weeks!!! Two weeks! My goodness. Mother of the year.
I liked the scene with Freddie. It was indearing. I wasn't expecting him to choose her over James. Or maybe he doesn't really pick sides? Idk? I like this line: "James is basically my brother. You're my best friend. There's a difference." The only thing is, why hasn't he approached her sooner if they're best friends??? Hmm. I got really excited for some good drama when she and Freddie walked into the Great Hall together. I hope there will be more on that in chapter 4. Like what if James gets jealous? Or Louis? Duhn duhn duhn! Bring on the drama! There's a party coming up, so that feels like the perfect set-up for an emotional hurricane.
I also just got to say, when I read "cheesie toast" I was like "what in the world is that??" Is it some specific cheesy bread that's been toasted?? eh?? And then I Googled it, and wow. Yeah. Now I'm laughing. I'm assuming that's the British name for what Americans call grilled cheese hahaha I'm dying. Cheesie toast!! Bwahaha. Omg I love language.
Alwynse for RvG Februrary - Go GOLD!
Deni!!! Honestly, I was gonna review this anyways, but you posted it in my review thread as well so that ended up being a nice kick in the ass to actually get on it.
I love that Rona just has that abandoned bathroom as her own space - she definitely needs that and it lets her little potions genius shine through. You can just tell that she’s perfectly in her element coming up with new brews and putting things together like she does.
Also, the population of the list of ‘Men Who Do Not Suck in This Novel’ has officially been upped to two, with the addition of Freddy. Seriously, I really love him and his snarky personality and the fact that he knew where Rona was and that she would need food. I need a man in my life that just brings me cheese toasties when I forget to eat lunch. He seems like such a good friend, and I also weirdly love that he decked James in the face? From what we’ve seen of James already (and what you’ve hinted I should expect next chapter), he deserved it fully. And the whole “James is basically my brother. You're my best mate. There's a difference.” was really sweet of him.
That also raises the question of what Freddy’s role was before Rona and James started dating, and how he reacted to them getting together. Because if he was Roma’s friend before they got together and also super close with James, I feel like them getting together must’ve been either super weird for him, or he was all for the idea, but I can’t figure out which.
Ooh, a Gryffindor party where James will most definitely be there? And presumably the rest of the Potter/Weasley gang as well? (Hopefully Louis, considering he’s one of the few dudes not on my shit list from this fic right now?) I smell DRAMA, hehehe.
I’m also the worst at review requests because it’s only after all of this that I went to check what you wanted me to comment on, so honestly it’s a good thing you told me to talk about “anything you like” because this whole thing was done already anyways.
Anyways, I’m excited for the next chapter and to inevitably go off in the reviews about how much men suck. It’s actually pretty cathartic, tbh.
Written for the Magical Menagerie event and January RvG
I need to calm down right? I'm so excited that you got another chapter up finally!
I really love Rona so far, I wanna see where this potion making goes. I feel like there is so much to uncover like what does she do with all those potions? I feel like she has so many hidden depths like something about her character that you can see it bubbling away under the surface. I think there is something about the way you write her but it's so interesting. I WANT MORE. MORE. MORE.
The friendship between Freddie and Rona is so refreshing because normally OCs are just friends through the relationship with other family member but this seems so genuine. I love the tone of their relationship, there is some wonderful dialogue. He seems like such an awesome friend and I'm totally here for their friendship. I ship them as friends. is that a thing?? I'm making it a thing.
I feel for Rona like it's her life is a bit of Circus like how business like Sarah is when it's Rona's real life happening then it's like giving her dress makes everything better. I love the description you've used for that dress! It sounds amazing, I would totally wear it if I had anywhere to wear it you know. I could wear it reviewing right?
I NEED LOUIS. WHERE IS MY BOYYYY? *CRIES*
I expect to see him soon, please?? haha
- Abbi xo
Magical Mengerie/RvG (mainly because this story is awesome and you're amazing!)
Hi Deni! Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie.
I'm really excited that you have another chapter of this story up - I actually came to review it last round but it turns out I was caught up already, so this is perfect. Anyway.
The character details that we got about Rona at the start of this chapter were really great - I feel like we're definitely getting to know her better as a character here now and there's some traits coming through that really distinguish her from others. I absolutely love the fact that she takes advantage of a Sunday morning at Hogwarts to hide away from other people. I feel you, Rona, I feel you. I can't imagine living with that many people permanently without a chance for escape, so I love that she's got a place that she goes where she can be on her own and feel calmer.
Hmm, James's knack of turning up and finding people in odd places couldn't have anything to do with the Marauders' Map, could it?
I love that Rona is spending her Sunday morning making potions and adding her own notes to the different recipes - that's such a nerdy way to spend a morning off but it gave us a real insight into her passions and what she's good at.
And Freddie! I've been wanting to see more of him in this story and it's really sweet that he's still coming to find her with food and check in on her as her best friend. Of course, all of that just makes me even more curious about what happened between James/Rona/Freddie - if it's the sort of love triangle thing I'm thinking of at all, or if you're just feeding us red herrings here and going in a completely different direction. Why did Freddie punch James???
I really liked the scene with Wren and Cecily, too, although I get the feeling that the party - if she goes - is going to be difficult for Rona. And maybe a big scene in the story? She can't avoid James forever, right?
Ugh, the apology at the end, as much sense as it made, was really frustrating to read. It can't be easy for anyone to have their lives dragged through the newspapers like this, but even less so when you weren't the one to choose it in the first place. I'd hope that side of things would get better for Rona but I'm not holding out much hope with this campaign!
I was SO excited to see you had updated this as I really love this story. The bit with Freddie and Rona in the loo threw up more questions for me that I need to know the answers to. First, I wasn't expecting her and Freddie to be besties, so that was a surprise - a good one! I NEED to know what happened between her and James because clearly it resulted in Freddie punching him, that's massive, considering they're like brothers as Freddie said. And it seems like they were visiting Charlie in Romania too - there is so much I don't know!! This break up seems like it was quite a nasty one considering they're talking about official statements and all that. Deni, what happened?!!
I feel that James is going to have more to say when his letter arrives, so hopefully we'll find out more. I'm guessing this party is going to be where it all comes out, so I can't wait for that.
Rona's such a great OC and I love her little quirks, like leaving sweets out for Myrtle even though she obviously can't eat them. It's quite thoughtful really, bless her.
I see there's another chapter on the way, I'll be clicking away as soon as it's there to find the answers I desperately need!
Tasha: For Magical Menagerie & RvG - Team Red xx
Alright Deni, I’m finally being not-a-piece-of-garbage and reviewing this second chapter! :)
I feel bad for Rona in so much of this chapter - she’s in a really rough place both with the fact that everyone’s talking about her break-up, the Prophet publishing stuff about her and James, and the whole NEWTs situation. I honestly got second-hand stressed for her when Montgomery told her to drop subjects, because I totally know that feeling of wanting to massively overachieve in everything. Although tbh, Rona took it a lot better than I would’ve - there would’ve been a lot of angry yelling on my part if that was me, haha.
Seriously though, that’s got to be rough, having your relationship that’s just fallen apart shoved back in your face again via magazine article. And then the idiot that is your version of James has to show up and make things worse.
On that note… ah, James. He seems like a nice guy. And by nice guy, I mean TOTAL ASSHOLE. Seriously, there is absolutely NO NEED for him to be so rude to Rona over the fact that a newspaper article got published about them that she had no control over. And the fact that he’s playing the victim when Rona’s undoubtedly getting the worst of this situation… I just. UGH. MEN.
Although, actually I take my gripe about all men back, because I love Louis. He’s the only one not on my shit list right now. And idk why, but I’m giggling like an idiot at “James speaks about as much French as a door handle.” But he’s just being genuinely nice to Rona and making her laugh, which she honestly both needs and deserves after everything that happened in this chapter. I’m really excited for this friendship/relationship/whatever of theirs to develop more as this story goes on, so I fully expect to see chapter 3 of this very soon. <3
Written for the Magical Menagerie event and January RvG
Hi Deni! Here for December's RvG Review Battle!
I'm so excited to see that you've got a new chapter of this story up, and I loved the second one as much as I loved the first! I still have so many questions, but I felt like we really got to know Rona a bit more in this chapter, especially away from the media circus that opened the story - well, almost.
Cecily seems like an awesome best friend! I loved the way that she shut down the people gossiping about Rona and James breaking up by talking about the Quidditch tryouts - that and her conversation with Montgomery later on make it pretty clear that she's going to be an awesome Quidditch captain this year. She definitely doesn't seem like a bad person to have at her side.
I felt really sorry for Rona in this chapter. I think in the first chapter, she was definitely trying to put a brave face on everything, especially when she knew the cameras and journalists were there for her mum, but the reality of her and James breaking up is starting to hit her more now, it seems. She's starting to realise how much it's going to affect her day to day life at Hogwarts with how different it'll be from last year, and the fact that she'll be spending more time at the Slytherin table is one of the smallest of the changes, probably.
The Witch Weekly article seems so unfair, and just another reminder that even if Rona's kind of protected by being at Hogwarts in some ways, her mum running for Minister is going to affect her daily life while she's at school still - especially since she dated James and he's another high profile figure in the wizarding world.
Dropping down from nine subjects to five seems like a lot to be expected to drop, especially if she's still managing to achieve Os in most of them. I'm sure there's a reason they've noticed her grades dropping and that going down to five subjects seems to be the best decision for her, but I could really sense the way it weighed on Rona here - she's used to being a high achiever and feeling like she's ahead of the pack, and dropping four of her subjects places her back with the average student. I don't know how much of it is her personality or her family background, but I got the impression that she doesn't much like the idea of being average. I wonder if that'll come up more later in the story.
What happened between James and Rona? Why did they break up? Why's he being so rude to her? I can understand him not wanting anything printed about them in magazines like Witch Weekly, but it still doesn't seem fair that he took it out on her the way he did, especially when he knows just as well as Rona does that they don't have any control over it. I'm so curious about how things ended between them!
The last scene with Louis was my favourite - I love him already! Making his notes in Runes or in French is just genius, and I really liked how easy the conversation between him and Rona seemed here. I can't wait to see more of the two of them together and get to know him better. Although of course that scene also gave me more questions - why were Freddie and James hardly talking at the start of the trip? Does Freddie have something to do with Rona and James's break up? I'M SO CURIOUS!!!
Hi, just looking around the archive and wanted to share my brief thoughts on your fic (i'm no good with reviews, hope you don't mind)
I was really drawn in by your writing - it's seriously good. Can tell your experienced, just love everything about it.
I also enjoy the dynamic between Rona and the rest of the characters - her mum and James in particular. Not sure what to think of Louis just yet - hope I'll find out. Love that Rona's a Slytherin and I'd like to see more of her personality unfold.
Just overall great job!