I read Even the Best Laid Plans in the queue and really enjoyed it so I was doubly happy to see another Snape/OC story. I really enjoy the way you write the characterization of Snape. I feel like the weariness you describe here is very much in line with the Snape in the books. He's just so done with all of it, but he still marches on. I also like his slight narcissism of being unique and not wanting to waste that special power. That definitely feels like it evolved realistically from the books. I really like how he seems threatened by the idea of another spy in that it takes away his importance. I can't imagine that feeling of constantly scanning your enemies looking for your ally, but not being able to trust them because WHO KNOWS if they're really your ally. I just love the web you write. Also Avery is the worst, I truly enjoyed the way our lovely lady deals with him. The card game was very fun to read as well! All around this was another excellent start and I can’t wait to see where the story goes!
Quella is the complete opposite of Maerna from Even the Best Laid Plans. Whereas Maerna was kind, selfless and giving. . . .Well, there's a reason Quella's name rhymes with Bella (plus she make Bella's violent streak look like child's play.)
The point of this story is too mess with Snape's mind, so he can't tell who to trust and what is right anymore. . . at least that's the goal.
Okay, hey there. This review is for our swap :)
So this is first fic I've read from Snapes POV. And I want to start out by saying that I think you did well capturing his voice. I think you nailed how he interacts with the other Death Eaters and how he walks into a room, as well as how he thought/talked about Sirius and the rest of the Order.
Quella is ... an interesting character. I don't like her lewdness and her promiscuity, so I'm hoping that is an act. (Assuming that she's the spy?). I'm rather curious as to how she cheated with anti-cheating cards. Unless Macnair was actually too drunk to do the spell properly? But then the trick turning the sickle into a galleon... my initial guess is that it's an illusion? And if she is the spy, it sort of fits, because spies give the illusion that they're trusted.
Now, does Quella know that Snape is a spy? That's another question I have. I don't recognize her name, so I'm assuming she's an OC? But Snape didn't recognize her or her name, meaning she in that name and body are not in the Order. I did consider that it's Tonks, but ... I don't think Tonks would be a skilled at occulumency. So, not Tonks. It could be a canon character that's disguised, but something tells me it's your original character.
Then that begs the question, is she apart of the Order officially or off the books? Like, does she just report to Dumbledore and not the whole Order? Furthermore, why did Dumbledore need another spy? If I were Snape, I'd be feeling several different emotions: does Dumbledore not trust me enough to report? Is my information not accurate enough? Does Dumbledore think I'm actually on Voldemort's side?
Overall, a interesting and promising beginning. I'm looking forward to reading more!
Yes, she is the original character and an illusionist. The card trick was also an illusion but she wasn't manipulating the card itself, but rather the people's eyes with what they were seeing; therefore, she completely bypassed the anti-cheating charms cast on the cards.
Sorry, to disappoint you, but Quella is not a nice character. She could rival Bellatrix and I mean with a capital B. (Probably part of the reason, they don't get along in the story.) She often uses sensuality and sex to get what she wants. Plus, she thrives a bit on violence. (Hence the warning during the summary.) As far as the rest of your questions about her, you'll just have to read to find out.
If you want a nicer woman for Snape, I suggest trying my other Snape/OC-Even the Best Laid Plans. Maerna is much kinder, more genteel, but she still has spirit to keep Snape in line. Plus that story is already finished.
Thanks for doing the review swap.