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Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 11 Jan 2019 12:20 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Sound of Sacrifice Chapter: Chapter 1

Hello! I'm here with your entry review to the Prefect's Autumn Challenge :) .

 

This was beautifully unique, which was really refreshing. There were a good bunch of the Prefects marveling at how creative this was while we were reading the entries. Between the perspective swap to an otherwise inanimate object and the deeper, philosophical thoughts provoked in this (especially when thinking in terms of "what ifs" and the butterfly effect), you really have a lovely piece here. 

 

I, personally, have three favorites in this.

 

The first is, of course, the voice given to the pumpkin. There's something fantastically quirky about that pumpkins personality that I can't quite get enough of. It seems rather intelligent and spunky, especially for a pumpkin, which in turn makes it a pretty charming pumpkin.

 

The second is the way this began. There was an IMMEDIATE connection with the "voice" of the narrator (the pumpkin), whose personality almost immediately came through, most especially when we reached this line, "I'm not an allegory, symbolically representing the demise of some freedom fighter.  I am, quite literally, a pumpkin." Establishing this kind of personality from the start is not an easy task, and it really helps connect the reader to the story. Needless to say, it was quite easy to get swept up in the narration as a reader.

 

My final favorite was the concept of self-sacrifice, the pumpkin seemingly a martyr in its death, when put into perspective of what could have happened if Buckbeak were to one executed OR if the Trio didn't think Buckbeak had been executed in the pumpkin's stead. I love how you delved into all the what ifs in terms of the Butterfly effect -- like it was for the best the it was the pumpkin who was sacrificed. Which wraps around to the idea of self-worth, which is entirely true in the case of this pumpkin.

 

Furthermore, your word choice is phenomenal. Your descriptions and allusions make for some beautiful imagery. This is a lovely piece -- you should be very proud of it! 

 

-Rumpels



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review, Rumpels. 

The pumpkin's spunk seemed to just roll onto page as I was typing and he turned out to be a great "character." I love what-if scenerios and adore analyzing cause and effect relationships. (I know I'm such a Ravenclaw nerd.) This story is why I decided to host the What-If challenge to see what other great ideas Harry Potter could have gone.

Best of luck in round 2 of the Managerie Mayhem!



Name: shadowkat678 (Signed) · Date: 31 Dec 2018 09:20 PM · starstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:The Sound of Sacrifice Chapter: Chapter 1

Hey, I'm returning the gift!

This was a very interesting idea. I've heard of people using objects to recount events before, in a way of watching from an outside perspective when others couldn't, but this is a different twist. Most of the time those stories are rather dramatic, but the nerrorator here was...well, silly and fun. It was a refreshing change of pace! Though with the ending, there still was an element of applicable reflection for readers, not just in terms of the story. 

I wish I could make this longer like I usually try to with reviews, but I'm not sure much else to say. It was a rather short oneshot without too much I can think to touch on, though everything there was good. For the End Notes that gave me a good laugh. I hadn't even thought about it before now. 



Author's Response:

Thank you. I'm glad it gave you a moment of silly and fun in your day.



Name: M C Crocker (Signed) · Date: 05 Dec 2018 05:47 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Sound of Sacrifice Chapter: Chapter 1

For want of a pumpkin.  I love how you explored how a single item a single moment can have such a profound impact upon a world such as Harry Potter.  I personally love what if scenarios, and this is one of the most unique ones I have ever seen or considered.  I makes me want to write an AU where that pumpking (or fence for book canon) wasn't there and see where it takes me but I 100% agree with you that pumpkins are more interesting than fences.  I think a pumpkin has a more appropriate acustics in comparison to a fence.  

Thank you for this jolly romp and interesting idea to take into consideration.  I love your unique take on things from this to my "Anything But Harry" challenge.  I love the odd and unique almost as much as I love dark sotries.  So keep up the good work and tell the unique tales.



Author's Response:

Thank you for the review. I agree pumpkins have much better acoustics than fences posts--probably because they are hollow. 



Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 24 Nov 2018 05:07 AM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:The Sound of Sacrifice Chapter: Chapter 1

Team Blue! Hi, I am happy to be back to your story as the second visit.

When I saw the title and the summary of this story, I imagine there might be horrible descriptions about the Death Eater's brutal act and then I tried to move to the other of yours. Then I noticed the rating which said Teen Up, I decided to go on reading.

I think you cut the very unique spot from the pumpkin's POV. It's a quite surprise after imagining the worst scene. And I really enjoyed your thinking way around many what-ifs. Me also felt a chill while hearing the scary execution sound in Hagrid's pumpkin patch in the film. I think it interesting that  you thought of the sacrificed pumpkin's world view.

 

And I love the detailed description of the way how the pumpkin grew surrounded by the siblings. It's beautiful and peaceful. However its existence, life was cut suddenly by the merciless Death Eater. It's just one of the vegetables, but it appears to be something similar to one character, the nearest to a human-being, a person.

 

Thank you for sharing deep one-shot.

 

K



Author's Response:

Thaks for the review. I'm glad you took a second glance at it. Only one of my works is really violent, but I put lots of warnings on it.



Name: Veritaserum27 (Signed) · Date: 08 Nov 2018 03:42 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Sound of Sacrifice Chapter: Chapter 1

Hi there!  

I'm trying to make BvB in November one of the best ever.  Since you were the first person to post reviews, I thought it only fitting that you shoul get one too.  And then I saw that your newest story didn't have any reviews yet!

You hit one of myy sweet spots.  I absolutely adore missing moments.  And I'm a sucker for any story that offers a unique perspecitve and a new way of looking at the story.  This amazing one-shot delivered spot-on with both of those requirements.  A sentient pumpkin that tells his tale from beyond the grave?!  Yes, please.  And thank you very much.

I love how you drew the reader the picture of how this moment in time was so very important to Harry and his cause.  You drew us a picture of Harry's timeline and how very important this pumpkin's death was to his cause.  I was moved by your words.

The story was nearly flawless.  I noticed this typo in the line:  "Would Dumbledore have killed Potter than night in an attempt to strike at the Dark Lord? "

 

I think you meant to type "that," not "than."

 

What I really adored about this story is the sweet undertones brought about by your chosen words.  I've actually started feeling sorry for this pumpkin.  But then, I start to feel brave.  The pumpkin knew it had a respnibility, a job to fulfill.  I felt like I was taking my place alongside the pumpkin in the sacrificial role that was played and the waterfall effect that it had.

Overall, great job with this story!

 

~Beth



Author's Response:

Thanks, Beth. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Yes, I did mean to type that instead of than, but I'm not going to change it. Our Aurors are overworked as it is.



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