Being a slightly insane shipper of Jily, I would have found this story hard to resist even without a wonderful punny title ;)
I loved this! It was a perfect mix of fluff and humour, which is really just what I needed. It was hilarious to see James being so angry at this man whose name Lily didn’t even remember! I was laughing hard at all his inner thoughts- ‘undressing his girlfriend in front of his cereal’ XD
And then he licked her! That really caught me by surprise, to be honest. When you were describing his head slowly travelling down from Lily’s forehead, I was thinking “okay, is he going to start snogging her instead and be a complete jerk?” But he didn’t! The way you described the aftermath as well, how they all froze and the awkwardness of it all, just added to the humour, although I may or may not have been cringing slightly from second hand embarrassment…
I think the way you wove in little details about magic was done well. The bit about certain behaviours of Animagi was quite clever, and I think there was another mention of a Hogwarts class, so overall, it helped the reader to remember that they were part of the Wizarding World even though it was a Muggle environment.
That poor guy, though! It didn’t sound like he was even interested in Lily, just wanted to catch up a bit. If I was him, I would have been very confused lol.
I did catch a couple of typos here and there- ‘He had an up close at her shoulders shaking’ I’m not sure what that was meant to be, but they can be easily fixed.
Overall, though, I really enjoyed reading this fun piece, so thank you! :)
I love this!!! Your word choice and use of certain phrases is perfect! Blue moon, wont to do, the straw that broke the camel’s back... hahaha!
I absolutely LOVE James’ voice here!! Your writing had an air of formality but it was so humorous! Your style is what I try to achieve sometimes but mine doesn’t come out like this.
And the whole deer marking territory/mates thing is fabulous! And how he had full intentions to do a chaste kiss. I was expecting that he’d do a kiss on the lips or neck or something! But it ended up being way more revolting than I could ever expect!
hi i just want to say that this was the most PRECIOUS and HILARIOUS thing ever and it put the BIGGEST smile on my face <3
i wanted to write a full and coherent review but you have reduced me to mush so this is what you're getting instead.
OH DEER. I have to say this was quite...deerlectable? staggering? It was hilarious is what it was.
Immediately I was like heck yes we've got some jealous James action and I knew it was going to be good.
I really enjoyed the way you set up the scene with all the times he'd been jealous and then reminded himself why it wasn't okay for him to get worked up over it. Especially the Amos one where he mentions Lily is her own person and could do whatever she likes. The Lily and Sirius one felt more sweet to me and I'm glad he could talk himself down from that one too. None of those will ever top the Tescos one though.
Him being worked up about Lily laughing and clearly deciding that regardless of how polite the interaction was the man must be thinking something inappropriate about his Lily was just too funny. Particularly when it's juxtaposed by the reality of her not remembering the guys name and trying to get the heck out of the awkward conversation.
Nothing could have prepared me for the lick. I imagine that Lily and Mystery Man must have felt the same way. It was such a good note to end my night online on.
James has the nerve to call her the weirdo at the end! Him! Really?!
Another excellent Jily that you've treated us to. Thank you so much for blessing us with your presence. Please send more.