Hi, Anne! Here for the review event!
Seems an interesting OC so far. I agree with other reviewers that she seems like a realistic character. You can tell she's nervous about her job, and I do hope that story comes back to that slip up she had in an interview. That's a word I personally have a lot of bad history with and I know a lot of people use it without thinking. I'm always up for characters getting some edumication, especially if it's a hard lesson that ends up knocking them on the head a bit. I noticed near the end the conversation drifted towards talking that seemed to mirror the word. Even though moron and daft tend not to be too offensive anymore, it follows the theme of the insult she was worried about slipping out.
She does seem a mit immiture right now and I'm curious to see how she'll grow as a person in the future chapters, and how she'll handle working at Hogwarts. Good job on the chapter!
Hi kat. Thank you for your review. It was more meant to show that Anne often talks before she thinks - I don't think using derogatory language makes her immature - please beware of my advisories if this kind of language upsets you. Btw: Anne is the the character's name, I go by Beth in here :)
Hey Beth, I'm back!
Anne is such an oddball and I'm living for it! Cherry printed boots and umbrella? Secret passwords? A love for vintage? She definitely has a... distinct... personality and sense of style, doesn't she?
Again, I liked the subtle references you include in your writing. Like how Diagon Alley is bleak and deserted (the picture of it pouring rain only added to the imagery), and how Weasley's Wizard Wheezes was abuzz with activity. Obviously, we know all this from the books, but it's nice to see a little nod to it in fanfiction as well.
Natalya is gorgeous too! You can tell she definitely loves her sister, but at the same time I get the feeling that she sometimes as to suffer through Anne's peculiarities. At least, that's the impression I got from the little snippet we got from their relationship.
And Fred! You sly devil... That is gold. I can totally see him thinking he's got enough suave to try and pull of that sort of thing with the ladies. I love that characterisation! Anyway, thanks again for an amazing read!
Aah, good to have you back!
And yes Anne definitely has her own style, which is very colorful and purposely contrasts Natalya's. They do have a lot of sisterly love, but at the same time, they're very different and perhaps not as close as Anne is with Caroline. I totally see Fred as the sly twin, happy you can see it too!
Thank you so much for all your lovely words, I can't wait to hear from you again xx
Btw. I've never read a lot of Albus fics, so I definitely need to check yours out :D
ah, anne is going to hogwarts finally! or well, she actually came to hogwarts...but she meets luna immediately, though i find it hilarious that luna has to help her with her trunk. and of course, blue pox and nargles have to make an appearance, but poor anne seems to think luna is teasing her. i love how ginny is being protective of luna but i thought anne might intervene since she's part of the staff now.
filch just had to open her (barely closed) trunk and....well, that's just hilarious and filch definitely got what he deserved with the grandma knickers ending up on him! but what is the tempus elixir? and snape seems oddly nice and helpful to anne (though nice try at fist-bumping snape lol anne!). she's just so awkward, especially with standing up when it was slughorn's term and with the spinach...pure gold!
as for too many characters - i didn't feel that! we know all of them from the books except anne and i thought it was interesting to see how she interacts (or doesn't!) with the rest of the staff.
i'm looking forward to the next chapter (and probably anne's next misadventure :P )
I think Anne was unsure whether Luna was teasing or not - honestly, I'd be too if I met her. I think she realized by the end that Luna was a sincere oddball. I agree that Anne could have done more in that scene - I wanted to make a contrast between her and Ginny - while Ginny got angry and stormed after Goyle, Anne was hesitant and helped Luna gather her things instead.
Tempus elixir is birth control and against period cramps - I made it a bit vague. Snape wasn't exactly nice - I'd call him shallowly polite and testing the waters with her - Anne isn't a student after all. But this won't last long - we'll see more of his nastiness soon :D
Really happy that you don't think there were too many short interactions in this chapter - I have been struggling with it tbh. Again, thank you for these lovely reviews, I can't wait to hear from you again xx
I'm really intrigued by this story so far. Dumbledore is so intimating to me that I've never been brave enough to write him. I think that's because he's such a hard character to get right in my opinion, so you're already doing better than anything I could hope to do with him. I admire your bravery, that's for sure. On top of that, I think you did really well with his characterisation too, which is an even bigger plus.
I loved how you exhibited Anne's nervousness in the interview as well. It was so realistic and done in a way that it was still subtle, which was nice tough in my opinion. She definitely seems to be a bit accident prone/clumsy, doesn't she? I mean, I've only read one chapter so far, but that's the impression I got. I love her already!
Her friendship with Caroline is amazing as well. I really love the ragging on each other, it's what true friends are like. It never come across as forceful either, the dialogue all was well paced and flowed naturally. Also, the little titbits of British slang? Very well done!
Hi Rhi, thank you so much for checking out my story and leaving me your thoughts
I agree, Dumbledore is such a clear-cut character and rather hard to get right, so I'm super happy you find him realistic and in character. Anne is definitely clumsy and has a knack for misadventures - I find that trait rather funny to write, but she'll get a break or two in between chapters :D
People really seems to like Caroline, which is great, unfortunately she won't be much in the story - but this isn't the last of her!
Again, thank you for this lovely review xx
i love how you've made anne this very quirky character who shops in vintage shops and loves muggle clothing - it's something i think is unusual for witches and wizards but i think it's quite original and love it! and the fact that she reads comic books is adorable!
i admit, i first thought this story was going to happen during prisoner of azkaban while both anne and remus would've been working at hogwarts - but this is during half blood prince, right? at least from what i gather :) i'm very interested to see how the two of them are going to meet. is anne going to join the order possibly?
but wait, she knows remus? or knew him? they had their picture taken...omg i need more info!
i also find it interesting that anne and caroline (and richard) use a phone even though they're wizards? but wow, anne is great at teasing richard (and caroline)
this chapter just opened more questions for me, to be honest, but i'm definitely looking forward to reading more and finding out first, how anne and remus know each other (since she's a lot younger than him?) and second, what happened to their friendship? relationship??
I'm so so happy you're still reading my story (yay!). At the very beginning of chapter one I set the date to August 18, 1996, but I totally understand the confusion! It's set during HBP.
Uh, super happy that you're intrigued by Remus - I'll drop a few more clues in chapter 4, I won't be spoiling anything, but you're on to a thing or two here :) About the doorbell/phone, I did consider it but figured wizards also need to knock and call on apartments, so let's just go with it :D
It really helps a lot to hear people's thoughts, so thank you for this xx
Hello! I’m here with the review you requested on the forums :) Also, I don’t think I’ve met you before at HPFT so hi and a belated welcome!
You requested the third chapter, so I read the two previous ones to get an idea of what’s going on. It’s a very interesting story so far, and I appreciate the perspective! I really enjoy that this story will run along the periphery of HBP as I really enjoy seeing canon events from a different angle. I’m curious, too, about what you’re going to do with Tonks. Yes, I’m a little ahead of myself, but given the photo Anne still has of Remus, (and the story tags haha), I expect this will be a Remus/OC story and it’s not marked as AU, so I’m really curious what you’ll do with the ships here – can’t wait to find out.
Luna going on about the Nargles getting into your teeth was so funny. And the way she reacted to being shoved over by Goyle was very in character – an acknowledgement that it happened, but she’s already moved on to wondering what they’ll have for dinner. I know Luna’s voice can be tricky to write but you’ve done a good job with her.
Also, you are so good at writing awkward situations, haha! It can be such a difficult balance writing awkward situations that are funny and not just cringey, because when there’s too much cringe you just feel badly for the characters, but you manage to stay on the funny side of the line. I loved Anne giving Richard a hard time in the previous chapter and it was awkward for Richard but nothing too bad, haha. And here, Anne’s first interaction with Snape brings me such joy, just given the sheer difference in their mannerisms – she tried to give him a FIST BUMP. AHAHAHA. And ‘Catch you later’. I cannot wait to see more of their interactions, because he is no-nonsense and she just manages to get herself into the most bizarre situations, like here where Snape has to explain her birth control potion to Filch. Lol
Overall, I really like this so far! My CC is pretty specific. First, I don’t know if this kind of detail is important to you, but I figured I’d point it out in case it is lol – Siamese cats have blue eyes, but the second chapter you mention Caroline’s Siamese cat has yellow eyes.
Another thing I noticed was that you mention all the Professors’ names before they are actually introduced – like you mention Professor Slughorn is going on about the famous people he knows, but in the next paragraph he is described as a "fat man with a thick moustache and green robes” – which seemed odd following a paragraph where he
was described by name. Does Anne know/remember all of these professors from when she attended Hogwarts? Otherwise, maybe just describe them by appearance rather than name? Kind of like what you did with all the students – the reader can clearly recognise Luna by her description even though you don’t mention her name until later.
Similarly, the first time Harry is mentioned in this chapter, it’s just as Harry – not Harry Potter, which struck me as kind of weird for someone who doesn’t know him and has merely heard a lot about him in the newspaper.
Anyway, that CC is pretty minor, and I’m really looking forward to seeing how Anne settles in to her new job! I admit I’ll miss Caroline, who was entertaining and I enjoyed her banter with Anne, but at least I can look forward to the battle of wits/awkwardness that will ensue every time Anne and Snape cross paths. Like all of Snape’s acerbic wit is kind of wasted on Anne who just doesn’t care and talks to Snape like he’s a surfer. I can’t wait for more. Great writing!!
Hi Kristin - thank you so much for this very thoughtful review. I'm amazed by how much time you seem to put into it (and so quickly as well)!!
First of: really happy that you liked Luna and Anne's interaction with Snape (Yay!)
It's going to be AU, since Anne will interfere somwhat with the story (and the Tonks/Remus ship - they are not in a relationship or in love in this fic) - I'll go edit that one :) I was discussing the bit about Slughorn with myself tbh - Anne doesn't know him, although she knows and remembers the rest of the teachers. I did consider rewriting it, but sometimes I go slightly outside of Anne's head - such as with Fiona the owl in chapter one. This might be too confusing though.
Thank you for pointing out that bit with the Sianmese kitten and with Harry. I really appreciate any kind of cc, it helps a lot!
Really love your reviewing-style. It's both motivating and helpful. I'll definitely be back for more when chapter 4 is up :D xx
I'm really glad to have discovered this fic, especially so close to its inception! Much of what I have to say has already been pointed out by others, but I guess it can't hurt to have a second (or third or fourth) opinion :)
-- Your OC is well-drawn, charming, and relatable.
-- Your characterization of Dumbledore is perfect. It's so fitting that he starts the interview by offering Anne an Acid Pop. And I love the moment when she runs out of things to say and he discretely helps her out -- it's so Dumbledore! And you've got his voice just right.
-- I loved Anne's brief exchange with Snape. I've just started writing a story where he figures prominently, and I'm finding his manner -- at least, when conversing with adults -- so difficult to get just right: superficially polite, with a touch of nastiness just below the surface. But you've nailed it. (I also love the idea of someone saying "Catch you later" to Snape, as it might be the least Snape salutation ever, with the possible exception of "Later gater".)
-- My only complaint is so nit-picky it hardly seems worth mentioning: there are some descriptive redundancies, e.g.
"The rain fell heavily towards the ground, bouncing off the grey cobblestones. . ." (Ch. 2) You don't need "towards the ground", it's implied.
"She tilted her head and pointed at Anne's teacup earings, dangling from her earlobes." (Ch. 3) Again, "dangling from her earlobes" is implied. If you want to keep "dangling" -- it's a nice image -- maybe try "She. . .pointed at Anne's dangly/dangling teacup earings"?
Anyway, I'm really enjoying this fic so far, and I can't wait to see where it goes!
Thank you so much for this review, what a lovely surprise. I'm so happy you like my portrayal of Dumbledore and Snape. I completely agree about Snape - I'd say his superficial politeness only goes as far as the characters he interacts with - if he doesn't like them/ find them easy targets, his nastiness shows more (fx with Mundungus, Remus etc.)
I really like that you're nitpicking - my writing gets a bit clumsy sometimes (not my first language) so I sincerely appreciate these tips/points.
Overall, thank you for your lovely words. I can't wait to read both your Percy and Snape fic :D
Hello! I was brought here from the HPFT review tag thread and this seemed interesting so I thought I’d give it a read :)
Firstly, I’d just like to say that I love your OC already. I think the way you presented Anne makes her really relatable to the reader- she’s a little clumsy and awkward, but not overly so...I mean, her interview with Dumbledore shows she is capable and can be professional (um, except for the last part lol). Her life isn’t exactly a hot mess (at the moment..? We’re one chapter in so idk) but she’s made blunders with applying for jobs. Just the way you’ve balanced different aspects of her character, and things like eating ice cream as a consolatory breakfast (literally me) just make her seem more real- I know she’s part of the Wizarding world but I can easily imagine her experiences, her lifestyle to be those of an actual person.
Right, moving on. I’m glad Anne got the job! She’s clearly passionate about what she does, and Dumbledore obviously liked her. Also, I think you did a good job with his character- and Caroline teasing Anne about the split skirt, omg XD
I’m interested in Anne’s friendship with Caroline. I know they’re best friends, and it’s clear they’re very familiar and know each other really well, but they do seem quite different. That sounds like I’m saying I think they can’t be good friends, but I’m not, I think it makes their relationship more dynamic. I mean, from what I’ve gathered, Caroline has a stable job at the Ministry, dates a lot of guys...Anne is pursuing a career as a healer and is funny but slightly awkward? Their interactions so far have been amusing, to say the least, I’d like to see more (one of Anne’s presumably failed dates with a guy Caroline set her up with...?) ;)
All in all, I found this a very enjoyable read, so thank you! <3 (Ngl I’ll probably be back for more)
Thank you so much for this review!
Anne's life isn't a hot mess - she just isn't living the life with the career she wants. Super happy you liked Anne and Caroline's friendship - they're definitely different, but I hope this adds to their dynamic. Unfortunately, Caroline won't be much in the picture when Anne goes to Hogwarts, but she will reappear later on :D
Really happy you enjoyed the chapter - Happy New Year x
Hey, Beth. Here for the 2nd chapter as a (late) gift for your wishlist!
I liked your introduction of Natalya. The differences between both sisters resonated well and, again, painted a very relatable picture to me as a reader. Their father also seems like an interesting character, one I want to know more about, and his protectiveness of his daughters amde me wonder what happened to their mother and what he's been through.
Ah, so Anne knows Remus! I was wondering whether they would meet at Hogwarts now that she's moving there, but them having a bit of history before is certainly more interesting. And curioser, because now I want to know why they haven't talked in so long. Was is just estrangement or was there something more to it? Anne keeping that photograph is suggestive.
Make sure to come back for a new slot shen you update, which I hope will be soon.
Hi again! Super happy to see I've kept you interested!
Love that you find Anne and her relationships realistic/relatable and you're definitely picking up some of my clues (yay!) - will be dropping a few more about her family and Remus in chapter 4, and I think you might be able to guess why they're no longer speaking. I'm currently struggling a bit with chapter 3, but hopefully I'll have it up within a week.
Again, thank you for these lovely reviews, I really appreciate it xx
Hi Beth. Here I am for your requested review!
I really liked how relatable Anne was. From the nervous way she powered to her interview to the little accident with her skirt that, honestly, could happen to anyone. if she really is hard-working and caring as she sees herself to be, I think she'll be an interesting fit for the nurse position. I wonder how Madam Pomfrey will greet her and how/if they'll get along.
Caroline was also a good introduction and allows us to see a different, more relaxed side of Anne. I hope they won't lose touch completely now that she's moving away, and I think it would be interesting to see them both at Hogwarts, given their closeness, even if I'm sure Anne will make new friends there.
I love her name, by the way. I'm all for rare/less used names without them sounding forced, and Annabelle is beautiful. I wonder who'll be calling her that. Remus, perhaps? ;P
Loved this first chapter!
Hi Susana, thank you so much for this review
I don't think Madam Pomfrey is given a lot of personality in the series, so I have a lot of freedom in that regard. Caroline will reappear - and at Hogwarts! I think Annabelle is beautiful as well, but most will call her Anne (by her own choice) and one teacher will call her Clarke (guess who?)
So happy you liked this first chapter. Thank you for your kind words - Happy New Year x
I have returned!
This chapter was a nice look at a "day-in-the-life" if you will. Those chapters are almost always much more refreshing ways to advance time to me than simply jumps that aren't even baked into the story structurally. Here I think it was a particularly wise choice as it gives us some familial background on Anne that we didn't have before. I'm interested to see how the situation with her father and the dynamic with her sister play out over the course of things.
One of the most enjoyable parts of the chapter had to be the end, particularly where Anne is trolling Richard while Caroline is getting ready. His doofy reaction is fun, but also still makes sense because he and Caroline haven't seen each other a heap yet. Thanks for sharing and continuing to bring us something DIFFERENT from the usual fare.
Have a Happy New Year!
Hi again! You're completely right - I wanted to use this chapter to get a glimpse of Anne's life before she'll go to Hogwarts, but also to establish her relationship with her sister. I find it hard to skip in time mid-chapter like Rowling does, so I suppose "day-in-life" chapters and a few time-jumps in between chapters is my way of moving the plot along :) Super happy you're enjoying the story so far xx
Howdy Beth! And since I'm pretty sure I haven't been kind enough to do already - welcome to HPFT! As you might imagine, I have arrived to leave you a review for your gift-thread and now, I will do just that.
I'll start by saying that I always like stories with OCs. It's really interesting to me because outside of Next Gen (where there are loads), they always seem to give us a fresh look at Hogwarts - or at the very least another perspective. I think Anne will certainly give us the opportunity for that given that she'll be working alongside Madame Pomfrey. This is a role I've actually never seen explored in the many many stories I've read over the years, so I'm looking forward to it.
As to the writing and characterizations themselves, I liked Anne. She came across as a real person with real flaws. She has obviously really explored areas that will be beneficial to her work, but she also struggles with confidence as evidenced in so many ways. Caroline - who sadly I'm not sure we'll continue to see much of - was a really fun addition. Her dynamic with Anne was enjoyable to read and it wasn't just that they have a nice little banter. You can clearly see that when Anne comes home she's much more relaxed and Caroline's humor lets her see those flaws - exaggerated obviously - in a less gloomy way.
I am on to the next chapter!
Thank you so much for your lovely words. I'm so happy you picked up on Anne's insecurities and the way Caroline consoles her (in her own way). And yes, sadly, Caroline won't be much in the story, although she will reappear in chapter 10 :D Happy New Year x
Hey Beth! Here to drop off some holiday cheer! :)
So just a general feeling I have -- I am just SO CURIOUS to see where this goes. Who is this Anne, and how is she going to affect things at Hogwarts while the Golden Trio is still there finishing up? How will things go that we know happen in canon, but from her perspective? Basically I'm just SO HERE FOR THIS story because it's just such an interesting and new premise on canon-era plotlines. In these first two chapters you've introduced us to this original character of yours and quite honestly, you've done such a good job of doing that already! Also, with her new hiring at Hogwarts as a school nurse under Madam Pomfrey, I can only imagine some of the shenanigans she'll learn to deal with from students.
This is just going to be a great story I can tell and I'll definitely be back for more later! :)
Ah, thank you! I'm a bit excited to show Hogwarts from the staff perspective, and hope you'll hang in there to see the rest! Happy New Year x
hey beth! i'm here to spread some holiday cheer :D
i've never read the book you mention at the end of the chapter but omg, anne clarke is hilarious and perfectly awkward. and obviously gets herself into funny and/or weird situations (like flashing dumbledore hahha). i love those sorts of characters and i'm really interested to see what will happen to her when she starts working at hogwarts *_*
all the sassy/snarky/funny quips you wove into this first chapter made me grin and i loved them! i also loved fiona the owl and dumbledore just casually first offering acid pops and then mending a skirt for poor anne, i can just imagine him doing that like nothing out of the ordinary happened :D
this was a great start to your story!
Thank you so much Kris, really happy you enjoyed it! And it's a great book with lots of british humor, you should definitely pick it up :D Love that you loved Fiona the owl! I also suspect Dumbledore might have a thing for the awkward heroines (he did hire Anne after all)
Also, your James/OC fic is on my must-read-list - have seen it on HPFF as well - will pop in soon and share my thoughts! Happy New Year x
Hi Beth! Dropping by from your wishlist thread to leave a little gift for you. :)
I love the opening of this story. Describing the headmaster's impressive office and his calm countenance is such a stark contrast to Anne's nervousness, and I was immediately hooked onto her character from the moment she gulped nervously and took a seat by the desk. The bit about her pencil skirt feeling uncomfortable had me sympathising with her so much -- it sucks when you have to get out of comfy clothes and wear something more "appropriate" -- especially when your definition of appropriate clothes is different from your roommate's haha. :D
Your characterisation of Dumbledore is spot on! I love that he offers her candy at the beginning of the meeting. I've never read a story in which he likes Acid Pops but it does seem like the kind of thing he'd enjoy. I also love the way you've described him as having "nets of wrinkles crowding the corners of his eyes."
Hahaha I love the bit about her getting inspired by Snape's work but not wanting him to know about it. Great bit of detail there!
"I'm a very caring person and a hard worker... I always smile and I'm never late. And I do make a mean cup of tea." BEST. LOVE THIS SO MUCH. And of course it would lead on to a conversation about tea preferences and normal life things. That is SUCH a Dumbledore-like way of holding an interview and it's also really smark tbh. There's no better way of getting to know what a person's like and what their interests are than by having a normal conversation.
OH GOSH THE SKIRT TORE POOR ANNE. I honestly feel like she could be my best friend with all the clumsy awkwardness and Bad Luck following her around. So relatable.
And the way Dumbledore makes her take an Acid Pop before leaving... I can't, I'm dying, this is amazing and hilarious, my sides hurt from all the laughter.
I love that we get to see a bit of the friendship between Anne and Caroline as well. It's such a fun conversation and you've written it so well.
HAHAHAHA Dumbledore appreciating her thighs!! This fic is a treasure trove of humour. And Anne (rightly) thinking Dumbledore's gay. Love this so much.
Beth, I'm a fan. This was such an enjoyable read, and you've introduced the characters in such a wonderful fun way. Your characterisation of Dumbledore is amazing, and I love how genuine and likeable Anne is as well. I can't wait to see where this goes and how all the characters develop! I'm particularly excited to see how Anne will behave around Snape haha. Great job with this chapter!
Happy holidays! :)
Gosh, thank you so much for this lovely and thoughtful review - it really motivates me to keep on writing
I'm so happy you share my humor! Also that you find Dumbledore believable. He's such a hard character to get right because he's so 'clear-cut'. About point 4, please read my end note. One of my motivations behind writing Anne was also to subvert the whole "feminine girl + average intelligence = bitch + weak" trope that I see a lot in fiction, so I love that you find her relatable/cheer-able! As you may have picked up on already, Snape and Anne are very different 'types', which ought to lead to some fun moments :D
Again, thank you for these lovely words! I can't even say how much it means. Really hope I'll hear from you again xx
I'm here to leave a little holiday gift for you.
I really enjoyed this opening chapter! You set the opening scene of the interview very effectively. It brought back so many memories of job interviews I've done, all the nerves and worrying about looking exactly right to make the perfect first impression, and the feeling of having absolutely nothing worthwhile to say... oh yes. You hit the nail on the head!
I think Anne seems to be rather hard on herself. Maybe she isn't a genius, but she doesn't seem stupid either. I hope she gains some confidence by the end of the story! Anyway, she's very personable and I'm interested to get to know her more.
I also think Caroline is a fun character who comes to life well. They have a very teasing, warm sort of friendship that's fun to read.
I look forward to seeing where this story goes! Congrats on your first fic posted here!
Thank you! And yes, you're right, Anne can be a little hard on herself - hopefully this new job will help ;) Hope to hear from you again x
Hi Beth - Tasha here for Christmas wishlist gift giving!
I'm really glad I've stumbled upon this story as I already love it and our heroine. Anne seems completely relatable with her terrible interview skills (I can relate), her rather ordinary life - not everyone can save the wizarding world - and her poor skirt. Thankfully, I've never split my skirt at a job interview, and hope I never do! It was a really funny moment though. Your Dumbledore was very believable too, I thought you wrote him very well.
I like that she'll be working at Hogwarts, I've never really read a story from the point of very of the staff before, so this will be a new one for me! The section regarding Professor Snape was interesting too, I'll be watching out for their first interaction! I DID note that there is a Remus/OC tag...is that where this is going? If so, I'm SO here for that.
All in, this was a really great start. I like your writing, Anne's though process and the idea we'll be back at Hogwarts during Volemort's rise (if my timeline guess is correct), but obviously I don't know yet whether that even comes into Anne's story or not. We'll have to see!
Hi Tasha, thank you for this lovely review.
Trying my best to keep the characters realistic and in character, so I'm super happy you liked Dumbledore. This will be a OC/Remus pair, but it will mostly be about Anne - the romance is a bit complicated, though Remus is hinted at in chapter two. Snape will be a dominant character too, but not in a romantic way (like him better as a sneering twat)
About the timeline: this takes place during Harry's sixth year, so at the beginning of the war - it will be a theme, especially later on. But don't worry, Anne won't be saving the world - we'll leave that to the trio ;)
This looks to be a witty, amusing story as we lament with our new heroine, Anne, as she bumbles through life.
The skirt ripping scene in chapter 1 was hilarious and sets the stage for poor Anne's embarassing social situations. I already sense two upcoming possibilities: that overstuffed trunk and something with her ex-crushes new girlfriend, the beautiful Fleur. Also, Remus will obviously be back, so watch out Tonks. It looks like you have competition.
I like how you made Anne absolutely ordinary. From her looks to her intellect. She's not the gorgeous, dynamic woman that we all wish we were. Rather, she's the one we can relate to. (Although I hope I can never make a connection with her pencil skirt disaster.)
Although her new job at Hogwarts will obviously be the central focus, you've created some nice subplots to explore later, from her relationship with her sister, her father's health, her possible academic connection with Snape and, of course, Bill Fang-Earring Weasley.
Nice start. I hope to read more of it.
Aw, thank you, you just made my morning. Really glad you like Anne! Not all you're predictions are true though so I guess you'll have to stick around ;)